Fuck it Enough

Driving home from Malacca in Malaysia this week – the final leg of two weeks of adventures, combined with some fun in Singapore – Steve and I got our thinking hats on to agree what’s next. I need to have travel plans. It’s critical for my peace of mind. Small travel and big travel, I need plans with both in the mix. When I travel I feel the most alive, because wandering around this great planet is my bliss. While I appreciate that not everyone is as passionate about it as me, I’ve got to do it. It really lifts my soul like nothing else.  And doing it with my three boys makes it even more special – especially my two little guys. They love this world too. So we came up with a combined list (in no particular order): Top of the list – Burma – I refused to go while Aung San SuuKyi was under house arrest, so I’m keen to support it now. I can’t wait to see it’s wonders as it comes into its own Marrakesh – I’m overdue a visit with my dear friend Nathalix Japan to visit Willie – LONG overdue Phuket and Phi Phi – must take the boys to Phi Phi, where Steve and I celebrated our one year anniversary Rawa – a tiny beautiful island off Malaysia – must take the boys snorkeling and canoe around the Island with Steve Sri Lanka – must, must, must Russia/Siberia, but in the summer and keen to do the Trans-Siberian rail journey Mongolia Bhutan Borneo Denmark/Paris/Amsterdam – to visit three of my favorite ladies Norway for a flight over the ice to see polar bears. I’d also want to combine it with the Northern Lights – must see it once in my life Philippines to visit Aunty Vick – needs to be an annual expedition Siem Reap in Cambodia – think the boys are old enough now Iraq – must see the Gardens of Babylon and will be looking for Suddam Hussein’s graffiti Dollywood – have to see it in all of its glory – and plan to mix it in with a Southern States adventure, including a night or two on the town in New Orleans with Steve. We need to do that together! South America – a six month wander is on the cards An African adventure is due – with a safari in the mix Boston to see my old pals, and NYC + Miami to see more pals The Baltic States – I wanna see its Medieval grandeur Poland – ‘cos Rob and Margaret are there and I’d love to see them. Hoping to do it around Thanksgiving, because no one does Thanksgiving like those two Indonesia with the boys to climb a volcano – my geotechnical husband has never done this and he must Maldives Easter Island Sydney to play with my great mates Scottish Highlands and Edinburgh festival Montreal Jazz Fest Bora Bora (Steve’s choice) Disneyland is a must with the boys of course Iceland again and this time I will have a hot spa I could go on and on and on…. But I’m thinking I might have too many things to do in one year – watcha reckon? Then again, I could come into a massive endowment which would allow me to just wander? But there is no endowment in sight for me, so I’ll just have to tick off the list one by one. Alone, with Steve, with the boys, and with great friends. Lot’s to look forward to. Who wants to join me on any of the trips? And yes Fiona I’ve got you down for Dollywood don’t you worry! When are we going? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

This is such a lovely time of year. People are sending gorgeous messages of love around the world, only wishing the best to everyone they know – near or far. It just leaves me feeling all nice and squishy inside – it’s sweet seeing so much gooey goodness doing the rounds. And then I’m thinking, wouldn’t it be nice if we were lovely to each other all the time, but perhaps we’d get a bit bored with that? Then again, I know lots of people who consistently share goodness throughout the year – often posting a little bit of wisdom which picks me up on a crappy day. So there are people who keep the momentum up for all of us, but I reckon we can all do a little better. So I have decided to issue a challenge. It is a “No Bitch for a Week” challenge and the rules are this: You are not allowed to criticize anyone for anything – even the Kardashians – and if you feel inclined towards a bitch, you have to replace it with something positive – i.e. “she has pretty hair” You can’t share any news that is derogatory towards anyone else, no matter what, but if you must share it, you have to come up with a positive or compassionate angle If a stranger is being a dick around you – whether it’s impacting you or not – walk on and smile, wishing them a great year ahead For all of the above, this includes your thoughts – you’re not allowed to have negative ones – so if one crops up, shake it loose (negative thought monitoring is really superb when you get into it) Negative thoughts or comments also include the world around you – i.e. “it’s so cold” could potentially be replaced with “this weather is awesome for my hair” But most importantly, you can’t bitch about yourself or even think bitchy thoughts. If you find yourself criticizing yourself at any moment, replace it with a compliment – i.e. “I have pretty hair” If all else fails and someone does something to you, or something happens to you that isn’t pleasant, there’s nothing else to do but sing along with Doris Day’s ‘Que Sera Sera’ ·       There you go, considering that the next week is going to be run-of-the-mill for all of us, who wants to join me on the challenge? Hey and if you like the way it feels, why not extend it to a month, then a year, then forever? That’d be nice. But let’s start with a week for now. We can do that right? I’ve decided I’m going to start right now and stop moaning about how bad this current double-hangover is. I am blessed to have my birthday on New Years’ Day after all. But more importantly, I had a lot of fun getting it, so time to enjoy the memory rather than the pain. With that I wanted to send love to everyone who’s been putting up with my ramblings over so many years, and hoping the happiest of times are ahead, full of loveliness and abundance in every way for 2014. May this be the year the world starts moving towards it’s greatest potential in every way. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

We’re staying on the not-so-luxurious island of Bintan – one of Indonesia’s thousands of islands, about a 45 minute boat ride from Singapore – and while it’s nowhere near a dream holiday destination by any stretch of the imagination, it’s been nice to get away with the boys and stay by the beach for a few days. One of the lovely things to do on any holiday is walking along the beach to collect the washed up shells and coral that abound – along with rusty cans, broken glass, discarded shoes and the plentiful blobs of tar that do not come off your clothes or shoes. I really wish we took better care of our environment, sigh… Anyhoo, the boys have found these awesome shells and corals, which they want to take home. We’ll oblige with a few of course – ‘cos that’s the kind of parents we are – but every time I look at these things, it will occur to me I’m not one of those women (or men) capable of making things beautiful out of the very ordinary. I do, of course, have friends who could take these shells home and make a masterpiece everyone would admire. Whether added as a sprinkling of decoration in the bottom of a vase, or a nice little feature in the guest bathroom, there are some people who just know how to make life more beautiful. These sorts of people are also (usually) really REALLY amazing and unique gift wrappers. I’ve often been inspired by these people – mostly women but not always – and sometimes I’ll go home and give it a go myself, only to look at a festering pile of turd that garners more chuckles than admiration. Cake decorating skills is part of this talent-mix, as is gift wrapping. I am definitely a fan of the gift bag, or store wrapped of course, if the brand is of suitably high quality. So I’m not one of these people that make life beautiful in that way, and that’s OK. I’ve always felt fortunate that so many people with this gift are in my life, and while I’ll continue to admire them, perhaps I’ve got a gift or two they admire in return? One thing I know, all talents are worth celebrating, and not having one is OK too, ‘cos it’d be boring if we were all the same. In the meantime, the corals and shells we’ll be bringing home will be found in the bottom of a toy box, or smashed up in the garden, ‘cos that’s about all the potential they’ll have in our house. Perhaps one of the boys will develop a beautifying talent? Anyone else relate to my limitations? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

A large part of my FIE campaign for this year is to understand the thoughts rattling around in my head and separating out the ones that lessen the quality of my life. In recent weeks, I’ve identified one of the most common thoughts entertained is “I Don’t Want.” I don’t want to be so busy I don’t have time for friends and family. I don’t want to be tired all the time. I don’t want to be spending 12 hours a day in the office, wearing myself out. I don’t want my kids doing my head in all the time. Those kind of ‘I don’t wants.’ The thing is, if you believe your thoughts determine your life (aka Law of Attraction, manifestation, power of the universe, etc, etc, etc) then the ‘I don’t want’ thoughts ARE going to be your reality. Bear with me here ‘cos this is a clarification that Steve asks for all the time and I think I’ve got it. I don’t want – recognizes that it already exists in your life and will, therefore, continue to exist if you continue to give it thought-space I want – recognizes that it doesn’t exist in your life and by phrasing it as a lack, you’ll continue wanting it because that is what you are asking for I am / I have – well that means you’ve already got it and will keep getting it, so if you say I have the best life, you will have the best life, or “I am ridiculously happy” results in being ridiculously happy, etc.. People who know far more about this stuff than me suggest that if you want something, start talking about it like you’ve already got it and then it will be so It took me a while to really absorb this idea and I am not 100 per cent convinced “it works,” but I am 100 per cent convinced it makes my life better. Positive, life affirming and grateful thoughts just make me a whole lot happier inside, whereas the other negative thoughts – the lacking, unhappy-type of thoughts – well they just don’t. So my commitment to entertaining the best possible thoughts is a recognition that life is better when I do. If this means I’ll attract what I want into my life – even better. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know I don’t find this life malarkey easy – in fact, I find it really really bloody confusing – but I do find life amazing. I find people amazing. I find this world amazing. More than anything, I am so grateful that I’ve had such a rich and amazing life and it continues every day. Life IS good, I just seem to forget to harness that sometimes. So ‘I don’t want’ has got to go, but it’s not any easy phrase to let go of – trust me, I’ve been trying for a few weeks now – then again, it’s just a habit and I can break any habit I set my mind to. That’s my focus for the week. What’s yours? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Steve was happy the coffee machine made it I’m desperately missing blogging. It’s been more than two weeks without one and I’m starting to suffer serious withdrawals. The challenge? I have not only completed four of the most grueling work weeks I’ve ever known, I also moved into a new home smack bang in the middle of those weeks. Awesome. Then on Friday, I’m sitting in a series of meetings I’ve sweated blood to get happening only to get an email from Lex’s school starting off with this little beauty:  “We know Lex has been through lots of changes recently with Mum working so much and with sharing a bedroom with Jax. We’ve kept our focus positive while acknowledging his feelings about Jax being in his bedroom and missing Mum. He’ll get through it soon, not to worry – he’s a trooper!” Sometimes 18th and 21st tankards come in handy – what is it with boys and tankards exactly? Thanks guys, when I saw that I nearly burst into tears right in the middle of a room full of 40 super serious people – Agggggggh!! Bloody KIDS!! It’s been intense let me tell you – at work and at home – and when not in the office, I’ve had to snatch every second of time I can get to first pack boxes and then open boxes and sort stuff out. Steve – I should add – is bloody useless at this stuff. He sees an enormous pile of boxes and doesn’t know what to do, so he either does something useless, or, more often than not, gets distracted along the way and doesn’t finish anything. I, on the other hand, am very experienced with this moving malarkey, and I know that I must finish what I’m doing, allowing absolutely nothing to distract me until that particular job is done. When moving from one place to another in the same country – no drama. Everything has its home and you usually just put it in a similar home in the new place. When merging two homes together, a large part of which has been festering in storage in Australia for three years, well it’s a whole new ball game. Some of the finds were delightful, however the families of cockroaches escaping stale boxes were not – then again, at least no red back spiders made it here alive. The stench of our clothes wasn’t delightful either, nor the back breaking agony us old farts feel every night we go to bed from too much bending over boxes. Not fun I say!!! However the best bit was opening boxes of toys appropriate to the boys three years ago… oh and how kids’ toys love to come in tiny, weeny, itty, bitty parts, and if you don’t put all of these bits together in their rightful place, then you have lots and lots of tiny, weeny, itty, bitty parts that become unusable shite clogging up your home. As Steve loves to say, organising this was a lot of lot of fun. The good news is Vick will be able to set up a decently provided kid’s playroom in her village in the Philippines for street kids. We’re super happy about that, as all of the waste at least results in a good outcome. A couple of happy snaps during the time I was actually at home the last couple of weeks. Yours without the bollocks Andrea TV sorted, necessary for quiet boy time Bonus, an excessive deodorant purchase three years ago delays my move to chemical free varieties The office – those heated towel racks are going to come in handy… My ugg boots – perfect for the tropics The boys thought it was Christmas – note Jax in my Ugg boots Why we need to live on a ground floor – where is Lex indeed…

It’s just over six months since I kicked off my personal “Fuck it, Enough” crusade and I must say, wow that’s gone really fast, or has it? So much has happened within the last six months, not just for me, but for the whole family. I’ve certainly never lived a quiet life, and the last six months have been nothing short of mind-blowing – but in a really good way. It seems the decisions I’m/we’re making are finally the right ones because things are working out – hallelujah!! My FIE crusade has a simple goal. I’m trying to work out how I can be truly energized, inspired, content, growing, learning, satisfied, and ultimately, joyful – every day of my life, or at least the majority of days. There are some “theories” that suggest you can only be a little bit happier than you are currently – a genetic-type or social-type-input thing – but I reckon it’s bollocks. I reckon you can cross the chasm from being a complicated person who gets dragged down by life, to being a really happy person BUT it’s not easy, not easy at all. When you see a happy person, give them a pat on the back, because they are remarkable. The biggest change was starting full-time work nearly five months ago. To say this transition has been intense is an understatement. It’s a bloody roller-coaster of emotions, mainly to do with my little guys, but I need to tell you a secret – I’m enjoying it. No I actually think I’m really enjoying it and that’s so important for me – because I need to. The work is huge, the diversity fascinating, the opportunities endless and I’ve learnt more in the last five months than I have in the last five years. I’m still bumbling around trying to work it out, making stupid mistakes along the way, but I’m back in the action, and it feels good. I needed it. As I’ve mentioned many times, I also need to travel. Whether work or personal, it’s kicked off again with trips to Sydney, London, New Orleans and Seattle. Not to mention, I’ve got a family holiday to Phuket coming up in a few weeks, which I am SO looking forward to. I don’t know if everyone understands it, but when I travel – whether it’s new or I’m returning – I feel alive. Different smells, sights, sounds, and most importantly, people. All of the trips have been awesome, but the best part has been catching up with my old buddies around the world to share laughter, memories and stories. Nice. Due to the workload – and it’s been intense – I haven’t done a lot of the things I set out to do in January, especially around the physical exercise arena. I need to get on top of that. But I have been paying far more attention to what goes in and on my body. Food-wise I’ve always been good because I have to. Shit food gives me the shits, literally. There are certainly no packaged goods in my home. But I’m more focused, and obviously taking gluten out is a big part of that. However, it’s also the stuff that goes on my skin. This includes not buying shampoos and moisturizers with crap in them (especially synthetic hormones), as well as focusing more on the cleaning products in the home. Also after the recent haze, I’m definitely going to make sure we don’t buy anything with palm oil in it, unless it’s sustainably grown. There’s still much to do in the home, although sometimes I think I need a fricken science degree to make sure I buy the right stuff. Crikey it’s hard. But my approach remains step-by-step. I want to make sure all of my family are only exposed to the good stuff, but I must say, some people do not stand a chance of being able to afford some of these changes… that is a huge concern for me. I suppose the biggest thing for me in the last six months has been the focus on my mind. I set out to change thought-habits that don’t serve me. This has been a part of my life for some years now – really focusing on my thoughts and making sure they’re good for me – but the month-by-month focus on a thought-habit that is negative has been really amazing. It’s not always easy sustaining it for the complete month, but even going for a couple of weeks has been wondrous. With my thoughts, I’ve focused on getting rid of thoughts where I put myself down in anyway – I’ve always been my worst critic. Equally I’ve tried to address emotions around my boys – trying to adopt positive thought processes when they drive me nuts. I’ve woken up every day for a month and immediately thought life is awesome and something great is going to happen today – a goodie by the way. I’ve addressed my tiredness“addiction” which has changed my life. I’m not there yet, but I just don’t give it the head-space I used to give it. If nothing else, that alone has been terrific. And of course, living in the moment more. I’m not always good at that one, but I’m trying. There’s so much more going on but I’m in a different place and my family is too. Challenging times really do end see? I feel like whatever was blocking me has finally gone, but I know it’s a lifelong process. Stress doesn’t leave your body immediately – apparently it takes a good 18 months to get clear of it – but I do feel I can relax and smile again. Perhaps? I hope so. I just want to be happy. That’s it really. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

In January I went wheat free 99 per cent of the time, and then Feb and March I was very good. Throughout those three months I lost a bit of weight (yay), but more importantly, I felt great – energized. Then in April and May I slipped back into old habits, which weren’t helped with business trips to London and the US. Obviously my discipline wasn’t strong enough to resist the temptations, and equally, it’s just so bloody hard to avoid wheat in Western culinary culture while on the road! I could’ve though, so my bad. The moment it all came to a head was when I was packing for the US and I noticed my clothes were just a little snugger, which made me realize the results of the first three months had evaporated in less than six weeks. I have to admit it was a little depressing, but as I no longer beat myself up over stuff (‘cos that’s how you cripple yourself from action), I decided screw this, do the trip to the US, eat what you want, but when you’re home, get back to mostly wheat free. So I have been a good girl since returning, although I do find it very challenging, but I want to do this because I know wheat is not great for me. It bulks me up and slows me down, so whenever possible, no wheat. However, there were two symptoms I noticed immediately after bringing it back into my life that are worth more to me than bulk. The worst bit is I barely noticed these symptoms after a few weeks, because you just get used to it again. I don’t want to get used to it. When I re-introduced it I felt tired and sluggish all of the time. I felt exhausted and un-energized. This is one of the main traits I want to get out of my life, and I honestly believe from my experiment that wheat is part of the problem. It makes me feel heavy and dense – a feeling I noticed I didn’t have when I didn’t eat it. The second thing is it makes my joints ache – something you don’t want happening as you get older. When I started having it again, I would stand up and feel pain in my joints – especially if I’d been sitting down for most of the day. In the last couple of weeks taking wheat out again, my joints don’t hurt. This is obviously not a scientific experiment, but I can tell the difference in myself. So wheat, I love you, I crave a good toasted sandwich, or poached eggs with ham, but I can’t do it anymore. We’ll have a day together a week, but otherwise, you’ve got to go, ‘cos I want to feel great, and I don’t think you help me to do that. A few other pals were doing wheat reduction, so have you noticed any difference when you have it and don’t have it? I’d love to know? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

When you have a significant sinus infection, the thing you reach for is Sudafed or Zyrtec D – job done! Well I can’t do that, at night anyway. If I take it in the day time it leaves me all discombobulated, but I can cope with that. However, at night it turns me into a tossing and turning mess, with excessive anxiety-laden dreams and when I wake up, I feel like I’ve been punched in the face! The problem is, if you can’t sort out your sinus, you can’t sleep. If you can’t sleep, you can’t get better. So it’s a catch-22 that does my head in every time. When I feel a sinus infection coming on, I immediately turn into the biggest moaning, unhappy bitch on the planet, because I know there is NOTHING I can do about it. I just want it over – right now, this very minute and that is all. Every time a sinus infection crops up, I scan the Island for possible options to help me out. I’ve tried every natural remedy available, and I’ve also tried the medicines that do not have pseudoephedrine included – the doctors always assure me they are exactly the same. BOLLOCKS. They are not the same. And when pseudoephedrine isn’t even breaking through the road block, the alternative options don’t stand a chance. Trust me, I know. But then I consider what it was like in the days before we had so many drugs to choose from. Can you imagine having some of the illnesses we regularly encounter today even 100 years ago – with no central heating available (not that this is an issue in Singapore) – where you either got over it or the most simple of maladies quite simply killed you? I am glad to be alive today that’s for sure, even if it means suffering a pseudoephedrine hell-night occasionally… It could be much worse after all. So I sit here teary-eyed and itchy-nosed, with little expectation of a good night tonight, and I have a silent hope the antibiotics  kick in quickly – because that’s the only way I can get rid of sinus infections – always reminding myself that life is pretty great, there’s nothing worth moaning about because I am a lucky gal, and perhaps slowing down a little bit for a couple of days won’t be a bad thing for me to do after all? I just wish I wasn’t so bloody sensitive to today’s drugs and chemicals. Life would be a lot easier if I didn’t have so much to avoid. With that, any suggestions to share minus pseudoephedrine? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I was sitting in Soho with my fabulous cousin-in-law Caroline (aka Winks pictured) last Saturday, and off in the distance this man came into view. He was incredibly tall, had bright blue trousers and a very long umbrella. Thinking back on this moment, the only accessory missing was a bowler hat – it would have been perfect. He was not a handsome man by most definitions (although certainly regal), and he stood out because amidst the frantic pace of humanity rushing to and fro, he just strolled amongst us – there wasn’t a hurried or harried moment in him. He was really quite superb and it made me stop in my tracks and think: “you know what, I’ve got to remember to stroll.” Winks agreed. We then watched everyone else, and all we could see was fast walking, stressed brows, along with panicked dodging and ducking through the crowds… well except for the bucks’ parties who were wasted and carrying each other through the streets. I wondered what the rush was all about considering it was a Saturday? But us humans are on overdrive these days, and if we could all only slow down a little. The truth is, I know I am a hurried walker most of the time – I do everything a million miles an hour, and I rarely remember to just stroll and take in the moment. My Dad is a stroller and he never hurries his pace, no matter what goes on around him, Steve’s a bit of a stroller too, but it was my blue pant man in London that gave me a great reminder to take on board – a reminder to smell the proverbial roses from time to time. I’m definitely better at going slower these days, but he personified it in a way that had a real impact on me. Not to mention the fact I noticed him in the melee shows me I’m paying attention too! Going into the month of April I didn’t have too many goals, mainly continuing to focus on my photography project – this time “Singapore Workers.” But I didn’t do that and instead took lots of pics of other great stuff, including fabulous people and buildings in London (see a smoking penguin and ancient reflections in modern architecture). I also aimed not to bitch or moan for the month at all, which I succeeded at about 75 percent of the time. Then again, I had a few big obstacles to contend with, which included thinking I was dying and finding out my five year old  needed eight fillings because he has compressed molars – the last of which is a tough nut for me to swallow. Looking ahead, I’m back in Singapore most of the month, and my goal for May is to be kind to myself. I realized last month that I am bloody brutal with myself. I criticize everything about me, and it’s just got to stop. Why the hell would I do it anyway? I’m a good person, with a good heart, and yet I rip myself to shreds every day. So every time I think I’m ugly, I’ve got to replace it with you’re foxy, when I think I’m turning into a middle aged bag, I’ve got to say you’re young, vibrant and gorgeous, every time I think I’m stupid, I’ve got to say you’re smart, in-tune with people and got a lot to offer, etc… You get the gist. It’s always been that way and I don’t know why it started, but it did start and it’s time to stop. I know my husband would definitely appreciate it. If I can stop the self-criticism I know I can really move forward into an even more loving and kind place, because we’ve got to be kind to ourselves first if we want to share the love with those around us. My FIE crusade is all about getting to the happiest place I can achieve, and step-by-step I do believe it is possible BUT it’s definitely not easy. Falling back on old, negative programming – the stuff most of us aren’t even aware we carry – is so easy to do. Breaking out of it and rising above it, now that is a challenge worth pursuing, and I’m in fast pursuit that’s for sure. The thing I’m really learning going through this process, though, is that it is much easier to stay where you are, rather than pushing through and being greater. Interesting that. April has been a great month on many levels, but this month of May is going to be even better – I’m expecting awesomeness every day I wake up, maybe with a couple of shabby days in the mix if I want to be realistic. Then again, it’s started pretty shabbily with a big flu kicking me in the arse… Anyone else in hot pursuit of more happiness? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

When I launched my personal “Fuck it Enough” crusade back on the 1st Jan 2013, one of my core goals was to join the traditional workforce again, as opposed to working for myself. This decision was made after a lot of navel gazing led to the recognition I needed to be around really smart and inspiring people again, as well as to spend less time in the company of my own mind. I’ve done plenty of time in my head and it ain’t always pretty. With the decision made, the power of the universe seemed to go into overdrive and within weeks, I was offered a cracking position and had to start straight away. PANIC! It’s been two months since then, and to say this change has been a total spin out is an understatement. From the little stuff of getting my life sorted so I can get out the door on time, all the way to the big stuff like dealing with the boys’ emotions now that Mummy isn’t around so much, well let’s just say, it’s been an intense transition and sometimes not easy. I expected that, but then, I never do anything by halves. So amidst the early spin out, I realized I needed a confirmation – something that would ensure I was completely sold on my decision this was the right thing for everyone – but most of all for myself. And with that in mind, I went to London last week – my longest time away from the boys since they were born – to attend the global communications summit for my company. It achieved my goal 100 percent and I have to say, it was completely inspiring and motivating. I’m not the sort of person who can work for any old company, I need to believe in what it’s doing. I walked away a believer. It was also awesome to understand my place within the global context, and to meet all of the people I work with every day (who, prior to this, were just names on emails), as well as those I don’t work with directly in countries near and far, with all of us contributing to the bigger picture. Personally it was also fantastic. Working for yourself leaves you with limited external inputs and my biggest fan these last few years has been my husband – he’s a sweetheart. But last week, I was amongst more than 200 people, all working in the communications business, all of like mind (extrovert is a common trait in the comms business), and we worked hard together during the day and then partied like rock stars into the night. I can’t think of the last time I partied like a rock star… It was a lot of lot of fun and I have so many funny memories of this week, including a drunken gaggle of us hanging out in the Savoy (we brought the tone down considerably) after a dinner cruise on the Thames, dinner with my North Asian colleagues – some of the smartest and funniest people I’ve ever met, Liana from Armenia screaming to the world: “Andrea (roll the r please) you are the only person who can say fuck and it sounds so sweet” – nice, as well as singing Broadway songs in the freezing cold rain on the streets of Soho with my Eastern European and North African colleagues from 3-5am – Liana a feature again. My voice is still recovering from that. It was too much FUN and I’ve returned to Singapore, bruised and battered from my excesses, to be welcomed into the loving arms of my three lads (although my big lad pissed off an hour after I landed to fly to KL agggh! Recovery has been brutal) and I’m back in the office raring to go and eager to contribute to the story. So my goal for the week was achieved, but more importantly, my bigger desire of changing my stars significantly has also been achieved. It’s not easy managing everything within the mix of my new life, and sometimes it’s just bloody hard, but it’s great to be part of something much bigger than myself and it’s equally great to tap into my intellect and creativity in a much more powerful way. I needed that and didn’t realize how much I was missing it until I found it again. I know a lot of people don’t like doing too much change – let’s be honest, it scares the shit out of most people – including me sometimes. However, I often wonder if I like change too much, but seriously, it’s not that. I’ve been searching for something, and that is the need to be excited and inspired by what I’m doing, and if I am, I’m in. If I’m not, I will change. I just can’t become a miserable old bag disappointed by life. Nutty bag yes, bitter bag no.  I really do believe that focusing on being the best You you can be, in whatever field you are in, is a big part of ensuring the nutty bag will win in the end. So after making lots of decisions that made life challenging in recent years, it feels great to have made a really good decision. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea