November 2014

Andrea T Edwards

Facing up to the Fear of my MC Debut

I’m not one of those people who fear public speaking, which is probably due to the fact I was on stage from the youngest age playing music. With that said, neither am I a limelight seeker, often preferring to be in the background focusing on the experience being amazing for those in the audience – that’s my default setting. So it was with trepidation that this past week I geared up for my MC debut and my word, my guts was roiling ALL day long. It was horrendous. I put the anxiety levels down to not having enough time to focus on it, and then when I did, I really started to appreciate that an MC gig is a whole new world of speaking I’ve never embraced  – in a formal sense at least. As I started putting together my script, I realized I hadn’t been a member of the Asia Professional Speakers Singapore (APSS) Association long enough to innately understand the flow, so those small important things that matter just weren’t clear in my mind – i.e. how do you do a good job of introducing those with serious credentials? I scrambled it together knowing all along it wasn’t quite right. But I’d be forgiven as an MC virgin right? I arrived at the event – early of course – and this is when things went a little awry for me. My debut occurred the night two amazing speakers from the US were in town. Because they are so good and respected by the APSS members (locally and globally), many of the really REALLY experienced professional speakers based in Singapore turned up. We always have good attendance from this group, but this week, I felt like everyone was there. My word, DAUNTING. However then I realized a bigger mistake. I didn’t ask the speakers how they wanted to be introduced in advance and came up with my own ideas on how to do it. They didn’t like my idea, doh! So they gave me a script they preferred – oh NO! I don’t know about everyone else, but reading in public is not my thing. For example, if you ask me to read a prayer or a poem at your Wedding, expect me to say no, because I HATE reading from a script. The problem is my brain and mouth work so fast, that when required to read in front of an audience, I get all in a-jumble and my self-consciousness goes through the roof. This week I had to face up to that little fear. My favourite reading-out-loud moment happened at University. I had to read a paper to my music class and in the middle I started giggling. The reason I was giggling was because I was looking at myself through the audiences’ eyes and thought the situation was ridiculous. Unfortunately, I giggled directly after saying the word “pianist” and naturally, everyone thought I was laughing because it sounded like.. .well you know. So being asked to read something an hour before show time completely destabilized me, which was a rather interesting experience I must say. Professionally I’ve always been able to handle any situation I get myself into, and it’s rare for me to be stuck or side-blinded, and yet here I was, all in a tizz. But none of it mattered, because I had to get through it and no, I could not sit on the toilet any longer practising the script, because it was time. I was very happy when it was over I must say. All up did I do a shocking job and make a complete arse of myself? No I don’t think it was that bad. Did I learn A LOT? Absolutely and if the chance comes up again, I’ll be so much better prepared. Is MC’ing my thing? I don’t know and will have to get back to you on that one, but with practise, I think I could do a good job MC’ing. I now definitely have much greater respect for the prep required to be a great MC that’s for sure – something I could never have known without doing it before. And were the audience critical or kind? You know, the reason I joined APSS was to surround myself with incredible people doing incredible things, and when the student is ready the teacher comes right? I now have 50+ teachers – all of whom give me so much and are already helping me steer myself towards a new professional journey. Of course they were kind, because every single one of them has been in my shoes and all of the feedback was greatly appreciated – especially the observation that I didn’t smile enough. Wow, me not smiling, that’s new. I must have been quaking in my pants to forget to do that. But it is done. I am grateful for the guts I somehow gained in how I approach my life. I am grateful for everyone who reaches out and helps me do and be better (hopefully returning the favour when I can). I am also supremely grateful to have found an association of very cool people who believe as I do – it’s not what you get, but what you give that matters. Can’t tell you how happy that has made me finding them. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea 

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Andrea Edwards

I Stopped and then I STOPPED

This week has been my first week off after nearly two years at Microsoft in Asia. The two years was definitely an amazing journey – professionally and personally – however, during this time I worked at such a level of intensity that when the day came to just stop, I could hardly move. The intensity levels were all my own making of course. I never go at anything half arsed and I don’t hang around waiting for instructions. It’s also not in me to just ‘get by’ – where’s the fun in that? – so the breathlessness of the journey is all on me. Hopefully, it also explains to many people dear to me why I’ve been so slow to respond to communication, and I’m still catching up. I’ll get there I promise. Anyhoo this week I stopped and my word, I can hardly move. Naturally I haven’t been stationary – there’s too much to do – but waking up every morning for the boys has been really REALLY hard, especially with Steve away in Australia – he’s back today, yippee! However, once the boys are off to school, all day I’m pushing myself, but my eyes feel full of sand and my body beyond weary, with my bed beckoning to me “come, come.” Even during my most intense and sleep deprived work times in the last couple of years, I can’t remember ever feeling this kind of tired. Well except before Christmas when I was so exhausted I was literally falling asleep standing up. The falling asleep standing up thing also happened after I got married – but it was fun getting that exhausted during such a crazy and wonderful time in my life. Right now, I think my body is saying “right, that’s it, time to chill bitch.” The problem is I’m not a great chiller and I definitely could do better at it – which I know Steve would appreciate enormously! But my mind is always full of ideas and opportunities to pursue, so it’s just not in me to be stationary – sleep when you’re dead right? Being a busy minded person has its positives and negatives of course, but long ago I accepted it’s who I am. With that said, I know it does not make me the easiest person to be married to. Sorry love. The good news is I haven’t gotten sick – which can happen right? I hope that continues during my next week off, because my home is starting to look better, I’m riding my bike every day, I’m enjoying spending more time with my boys,  and next week Steve will be home so we can spend some time together AND of course, really go all out to celebrate Lex’s eighth birthday. Last year I was working 24 hours a day during his birthday and Steve was in Saudi Arabia. I can definitely tell you we’re thrilled to both be present 100 per cent for our little guy this year. Our absence was excruciatingly tough last year. Right got work to do, so signing off, but please tell me, I’m not alone in the need-to-be-busy-at-all-times am I? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

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Andrea T Edwards

Kids do Sleep in Eventually Right?

We are bamboozled parents. Nearly eight years into this parenting malarkey and do you think we ever get a morning off? I’ve written about this before, because it’s definitely the thing I have enjoyed least since becoming a parent, but seriously, enough already! My treasures…. We had a late night last night – a Halloween/end-of-a-work-chapter party I guess. This meant the boys went to bed at 3am. I think it’s their latest night ever. Anyhoo our friend’s Sam and Dave were with us, and their kid’s probably got to bed closer to 4am and guess what? Our boys were up at 7am. Bronte and AJ at lunchtime. See that’s right, that’s how it should be. But no, not our buggers… It got even better recently. Our room separation strategy isn’t going so well. Jax doesn’t want to be away from Lex and we regularly find them in bed together in the morning. But even better recently, Jax has been getting up at 4am to watch movies. Four am, I mean 4am!!! He obviously wakes Lex up too, because he couldn’t possibly NOT do that, and what does that mean? Two miserable, tired little bastards. Lex is traditionally the early riser, not Jax, so I’m not enjoying this recent change that’s for sure. The thing is, I know kids are capable of sleeping in, because I’ve met loads of kids who actually do it, but not ours, oh no, not ours. With everything in my life – especially the things that make me unhappy – I try to maintain the thinking that what I resist, persists – a truth in my world. BUT it’s really hard to do this on the boys-never-getting-enough-sleep-front. Hey I’m a Mum and the only thing I care about is my boys being healthy in all ways. But equally, I hate the first thing out of my mouth in the morning being along the lines of “get back to bloody bed!” Or “Why, WHY can’t you just stay in bed.” Or “Look outside. Do you see that? Do you see that it’s still bloody night time? Do you? DO YOU? Go to bloody sleep!” AAAAAGGGHHHHH! It’s like never ending torture I tell you. Why won’t they sleep? Please tell me? Please help me? BLOODY KIDS! Is anyone else suffering perpetual sleep deprivation or are we really alone? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

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