September 2016

If you’re hoping I’m going to criticize Hillary Clinton, you may as well stop reading now. I couldn’t admire a woman more. So I suggest moving on if you don’t want a positive perspective. Why could I never be like her? I can hardly compare myself, but a few years ago, I was working for a company and had to run a couple of big events. I took a completely different approach to what had been done before, and for the first one, I had colleagues get so shitty with me, they didn’t talk to me for weeks afterwards. It was very upsetting, especially as I was just asking people to step up and deliver the best possible content for the audience.   After the first one, I wanted to quit. It got ugly and I got confused. Asking for the best of everyone shouldn’t have attracted such ugliness, but it did. However, the feedback from the first one demonstrated that I was on the right path, and so a few months later, I did the second one – and it was much bigger and considerably more high profile. The feedback spoke again. “Best ever” and “thank you so much for giving us such a valuable experience.” I’ve always believed that the worst thing I could ever do is waste people’s time. Knowing I didn’t means a lot to me. A few months after both were over, I was on holiday with the family, trying to switch off from work. I’m not very good at that, but every night I had nightmares about doing this event again the next year and the dreams were brutal. More than that, the stress I put myself through with both events had physical ramifications. I ground my teeth so much in the night, I cracked three of my back molars, resulting in two root canals and one tooth extraction. It made me wonder, why the hell would I put myself through that again? Yeah I helped to create change. I steered the ship in a new direction. I built my credibility. I delivered something that was valued and I changed perceptions. But is that what life is about? Well yes, but it has to be for something you really believe in too right? Not just work, which is ultimately about making other people richer – which is fine too, as I have no issue with people making money. I’m definitely a fighter, always have been, but this experience showed me how ugly being a fighter can be. It also made me think about what is worth fighting for – because it creates distance from the family too. It has to. If I’m going to spend less time with my boys, lose teeth and face massive dentist bills, wouldn’t I prefer to do it on something more meaningful? Or is it just who I am? What I’m made of? I still think about that experience often, and while it will never take the fight out of me, it’s definitely made me wiser, because I learnt the biggest lesson of them all – people really do not like change, despite all the talk about being dynamic and agile. I love change. Always have and always will. I don’t understand fear of change, because change makes the world a better place, and right now, our world is changing at its fastest pace in all of human history. Bring it on I say. So then I look to Hillary Clinton. For 30 years this woman has been a fighter and right now, she’s fighting for the right to rule her country. And yet at every single step of the way she has been ripped apart. She is the one who has copped the flack for Bill’s philandering, as well as Monica Lewisnky of course. That is bloody shameful. Women are responsible for a man not being able to keep his cock in his pants? That’s a familiar discourse, yes? Every speech she comes out most truthful and Trump is opposite in the extreme, and yet she is the one who isn’t trusted? Her emails, Benghazi, she’s manipulative, she’s on death’s door, her dodgy philanthropy, and on it goes. She didn’t get a life-sized painting of herself done, and then paid for it through her charity! I mean, who gets a life-sized painting done of themselves these days anyway? I don’t get why anyone thinks Trump is a better option. I just don’t. You want something different – I get that. You’ve had enough of typical politics. I get that too. This next Presidential cycle has to be about changing the system, but you can’t do it with Trump at the helm. He is nothing but an ugly-hearted, narcissistic, lying, sensationalist, moron. And if you think your lot in life is bad now – it’s going to get a whole lot worse if he gets in. Basically the whole world will be fucked. Trust me. That’s the only outcome if he wins in November. Getting back to Hillary. I sit here and think bloody hell woman. Is it worth it? Do you love America and its promise so much you’ll endure all of that vitriol? Do you really want to lead a country that is so judgmental of you personally? Do you think you can ever be successful with that attitude constantly swirling around you? Man, you’re tough, so bloody tough! I would’ve stepped out long ago. I would’ve said screw you to every asshole who ever said a bad word about me. I would’ve said no way, nothing is worth this shit. But you never have. You’re standing strong. You’re fighting. You believe this is important. You don’t want to win for yourself. You want to win because you know you’ve got what it takes for this time in our world’s history. And I reckon you do too. I know we’ll look back on your presidency and say it was the best ever. Many don’t agree with

I went to see The Vagina Monologues in Singapore last night. It was wonderful to see my great friend Anna in the show, as well as a cast of truly fabulous women. I saw it for the first time in Boston more than 15 years ago, and had the privilege of seeing Eve Ensler deliver the monologues. It had a big impact on me then, and it had a big impact on me again last night. A fabulous cast This is a very powerful show and it’s not just for women, but for men too. We are a global society where shame and disgust is intrinsically linked to the human body, but sexual shame lies deepest in women. For me, this show unlocks the discussion in a very funny and devastatingly sad way. It’s such important work and I wish everyone in the world experienced it. Last night, I was super happy Steve agreed to come and see it with me. One of very few men in attendance, I know how important it is for him to understand this discussion. As a husband, he sees first-hand the impact on me after years of societal programming, and last night, I hoped it helped him understand just a little bit more. I was proud of him for coming. We were 10 women and one man, and he did the male gender proud last night. But of course, the reason I married Steve is because he is comfortable enough in his own maleness to be present at something like this. He also has enormous respect for women. It doesn’t frighten Steve to face up to the truth, and vaginas don’t scare him either. I know I am a lucky gal with him by my side. As with the last time I saw it, there are two monologues I find devastatingly powerful. The first is the story of a 72-year-old woman who experiences massive shame as a young lady when she gets asked out by the man of her dreams – or ‘the great catch’ in town at the time. Getting overly excited on her first date, she talks of a flood coming out of her vagina and the man treats her with complete disdain. He is repulsed. What impacts me about this story is she closed shop ‘down there’ for the rest of her life. The thought that one moment of passion could close off opportunities to be loved, to be cared for and to know true and beautiful intimacy, is something that devastates me. I know many many women have suffered this same fate, which is why The Vagina Monologues is so important. Perhaps audience members over the years have healed after hearing her story? No one should close shop down there and lose out on so much life offers due to shame! No one! I just find her story unbearably sad. And of course, the story of the Bosnian rape victims is the other devastating story. This monologue is a lady speaking of the beauty of her vagina before the war – a beautiful field, clean water, vibrant, alive, pure – and then after the war – a barren waste land, poisoned, bloody, filthy, puss, and so on… This lady was raped by seven men over a week, with rifles and other objects as well. It’s a terrible story about the truth of rape in war and it’s a very important conversation. Rape happens in war and outside of war, and continues to not get the attention and punishment it deserves. Rape is violence not sex. The Vagina Monologues makes me laugh out loud and it makes me cry unashamedly. The topics discussed are core issues that can be overcome and the world will be a better place if we achieve that. Sex, sexuality and vaginas should never be something we are ashamed of. Religion is a massive part of the dialogue that created shame around sex and the body, but if there really is a god that created us, why the hell would she give us the ability to enjoy pleasure and make us ashamed of it? Another reason I wish the world was without organized religion. The ladies in Singapore were fabulous last night. What I found even more fabulous was the diversity of women on stage. Almost every country on the planet has double standards around female sexuality and it was great to hear the unified voices of women from across the world. Really terrific stuff. If you’re in Singapore 22, 23 or 24th of September, go and see Finally She Spoke. Sangeeta Nambiar, who directed The Vagina Monologues last night, is the brainchild behind this new show. It’s the result of talks with women from across the world, highlighting important conversations we need to have around domestic violence, sex trafficking, female genital mutilation, sex, breast chronicles, incest and feminism in films. I won’t be in town at the time, but will definitely see it when I can. Thank you for an amazing night ladies. It always leaves me in a deeply reflective state. Oh and if I could dress my vagina, I think I’d go for black leather and silver studs. Yeah. Power baby, power. Anyone else seen it? Care to share your feelings or insights from the show? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea BTW I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too, if you’re interested in the other stuff I share. Feel free to share my blog if you think anyone you know will be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do xxxxx