September 2013

A Global Bitch-Fest

I watched Wrecking Ball. I watched it after having an intelligent discussion with some smart friends who think about this sort of news objectively. There’s lots of discussion and bollocks going on around Miley at the moment – some intelligent and some extremely harsh. But when stuff like this hits the headlines and sends everyone into a rampage, it only leaves me wondering – what is the real issue we’re looking at here? I mean, let’s put aside the important issues of our time – you know Syria, Iran, women’s health in Africa, starving kids, etc… Then again, perhaps this IS an important issue of our time – how woman are valued and how women value themselves? My take-away is the absolute ferocity of the global bitch-fest against Miley – a 21 year old girl trying to define who she is as a woman. Don’t get me wrong, I squirm along with everyone else as I watch her rubbing plastic hands against her snatch and want to ask her “what’s with all the tongue action girl?” But, equally, I don’t enjoy watching all of the cock grabbing moves of young male rock stars either. Sexuality is a beautiful thing, dignity is a beautiful thing, but being powerful and being sleazy are two very different things. The truth is, I have no idea what it’s like to be Miley. I mean, imagine putting up with this shit? But is this about her, or is this about us? Is this about us demanding that she transforms into the sort of woman we’re comfortable with – one who doesn’t stray too far from her good girl Hannah Montana persona? I mean, she’s no Madonna taking over the world as an adult – an emergence that shocked us, then thrilled us and finally we accepted her. Miley has been in the spot light since before she got pubes, so becoming the challenging, raw, sexy rock woman of our day perhaps isn’t too comfortable a transition for us to make? She, on the other hand, seems fine with it. I found Wrecking Ball a bit squirmy (though more erotica than soft porn) but I certainly don’t think it deserved the hullabaloo it’s attracted. The song is scarily catchy and I definitely think the girl can sing. In fact, if you close your eyes and listen to the words it’s actually quite a powerful song. So not a big deal for me. However I did find her previous performance a little more off-putting. I felt embarrassed for her watching it – it just didn’t feelright.  But who cares right? If Miley was a new performer we’d say cool, she can sing and she’s got a great body. However, she’s not that to most of the world, as such, it feels like the world is demanding she remains what we know or damn her – not the first time it’s happening to a young starlet emerging into womanhood. I keep asking myself the question – is this who she is today? A gyrating vixen with an attitude? And if that’s who she has grown into, well then fine! Authenticity is OK by me. But if she’s getting incredibly bad advice from the professional clique taking care of her career, then our angst should be headed that way – because why do they think this is what the world wants of our young women? With that said, I have a sneaking suspicion this is what Miley wants. The problem for Miley is she’s moved a long way from where she started out, and she’s definitely got some work to do on her personal brand. But all personal brands are a work in progress. Where she is today isn’t pleasant, but she’s a young woman in transition, so let’s hope the world can give her the space she needs to discover who she really is – mistakes and all. Shit, when I was 21, I was angry with the world, but my community gave me the space I needed to grow and soften. I didn’t have to do it before the world however, so perhaps we all need to be a little more nurturing towards Miley as we expect towards ourselves? I don’t know, I just feel like she’s got some pain inside and that’s what we’re seeing expressed right now… But how would I know? There is no escaping the truth Miley is making people uncomfortable and people don’t like being uncomfortable, but I beseech you to hang-ten a little on the vitriol against her. Instead perhaps take a deeper look at what this means to our society as a whole and how women are valued, as well as how women value themselves. Surely that is the more important question we should be asking ourselves in this day and age? No? Anyways, if you haven’t seen it, here’s a bit of a giggle out of New Zealand… Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

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I Don’t Want

A large part of my FIE campaign for this year is to understand the thoughts rattling around in my head and separating out the ones that lessen the quality of my life. In recent weeks, I’ve identified one of the most common thoughts entertained is “I Don’t Want.” I don’t want to be so busy I don’t have time for friends and family. I don’t want to be tired all the time. I don’t want to be spending 12 hours a day in the office, wearing myself out. I don’t want my kids doing my head in all the time. Those kind of ‘I don’t wants.’ The thing is, if you believe your thoughts determine your life (aka Law of Attraction, manifestation, power of the universe, etc, etc, etc) then the ‘I don’t want’ thoughts ARE going to be your reality. Bear with me here ‘cos this is a clarification that Steve asks for all the time and I think I’ve got it. I don’t want – recognizes that it already exists in your life and will, therefore, continue to exist if you continue to give it thought-space I want – recognizes that it doesn’t exist in your life and by phrasing it as a lack, you’ll continue wanting it because that is what you are asking for I am / I have – well that means you’ve already got it and will keep getting it, so if you say I have the best life, you will have the best life, or “I am ridiculously happy” results in being ridiculously happy, etc.. People who know far more about this stuff than me suggest that if you want something, start talking about it like you’ve already got it and then it will be so It took me a while to really absorb this idea and I am not 100 per cent convinced “it works,” but I am 100 per cent convinced it makes my life better. Positive, life affirming and grateful thoughts just make me a whole lot happier inside, whereas the other negative thoughts – the lacking, unhappy-type of thoughts – well they just don’t. So my commitment to entertaining the best possible thoughts is a recognition that life is better when I do. If this means I’ll attract what I want into my life – even better. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know I don’t find this life malarkey easy – in fact, I find it really really bloody confusing – but I do find life amazing. I find people amazing. I find this world amazing. More than anything, I am so grateful that I’ve had such a rich and amazing life and it continues every day. Life IS good, I just seem to forget to harness that sometimes. So ‘I don’t want’ has got to go, but it’s not any easy phrase to let go of – trust me, I’ve been trying for a few weeks now – then again, it’s just a habit and I can break any habit I set my mind to. That’s my focus for the week. What’s yours? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

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The Madness, the Madness

Steve was happy the coffee machine made it I’m desperately missing blogging. It’s been more than two weeks without one and I’m starting to suffer serious withdrawals. The challenge? I have not only completed four of the most grueling work weeks I’ve ever known, I also moved into a new home smack bang in the middle of those weeks. Awesome. Then on Friday, I’m sitting in a series of meetings I’ve sweated blood to get happening only to get an email from Lex’s school starting off with this little beauty:  “We know Lex has been through lots of changes recently with Mum working so much and with sharing a bedroom with Jax. We’ve kept our focus positive while acknowledging his feelings about Jax being in his bedroom and missing Mum. He’ll get through it soon, not to worry – he’s a trooper!” Sometimes 18th and 21st tankards come in handy – what is it with boys and tankards exactly? Thanks guys, when I saw that I nearly burst into tears right in the middle of a room full of 40 super serious people – Agggggggh!! Bloody KIDS!! It’s been intense let me tell you – at work and at home – and when not in the office, I’ve had to snatch every second of time I can get to first pack boxes and then open boxes and sort stuff out. Steve – I should add – is bloody useless at this stuff. He sees an enormous pile of boxes and doesn’t know what to do, so he either does something useless, or, more often than not, gets distracted along the way and doesn’t finish anything. I, on the other hand, am very experienced with this moving malarkey, and I know that I must finish what I’m doing, allowing absolutely nothing to distract me until that particular job is done. When moving from one place to another in the same country – no drama. Everything has its home and you usually just put it in a similar home in the new place. When merging two homes together, a large part of which has been festering in storage in Australia for three years, well it’s a whole new ball game. Some of the finds were delightful, however the families of cockroaches escaping stale boxes were not – then again, at least no red back spiders made it here alive. The stench of our clothes wasn’t delightful either, nor the back breaking agony us old farts feel every night we go to bed from too much bending over boxes. Not fun I say!!! However the best bit was opening boxes of toys appropriate to the boys three years ago… oh and how kids’ toys love to come in tiny, weeny, itty, bitty parts, and if you don’t put all of these bits together in their rightful place, then you have lots and lots of tiny, weeny, itty, bitty parts that become unusable shite clogging up your home. As Steve loves to say, organising this was a lot of lot of fun. The good news is Vick will be able to set up a decently provided kid’s playroom in her village in the Philippines for street kids. We’re super happy about that, as all of the waste at least results in a good outcome. A couple of happy snaps during the time I was actually at home the last couple of weeks. Yours without the bollocks Andrea TV sorted, necessary for quiet boy time Bonus, an excessive deodorant purchase three years ago delays my move to chemical free varieties The office – those heated towel racks are going to come in handy… My ugg boots – perfect for the tropics The boys thought it was Christmas – note Jax in my Ugg boots Why we need to live on a ground floor – where is Lex indeed…

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