Andrea Edwards

If there’s a statement every parent on the planet has heard, it’s probably: kids grow up so fast, enjoy the moments, ‘cos it’s over before you know it. The problem is, it’s never felt fast for me. In fact, it’s been excruciatingly slow most of the time. Ready for his first school camp That, of course, comes down to the challenges we’ve faced with Lexy and getting him on the right track at school and in life. Phuket was a massive move for all of us, but none more than Lex. I’ve talked about some of the challenges before, as well as the fact we’re now entering a smooth period, where both boys seem delighted in their new home. I can definitively say, it is the greatest relief of my life knowing this was the right move, not just for Lex, but for all of us. Anyhoo, I just came back from three weeks of business travel, with a short four day visit home in between. It was intense being away that much, but the boys need their dad now, and man, they could not have a better dad. Steve is awesome with the boys. A true role model of what it is to be a man today. But this weekend I noticed a BIG shift in Lex. And I mean, massive! Steve said it was because he had an awesome time at a birthday party with six boys on Saturday. I’m like OK, well that’s great… not really convinced. Don’t get me wrong, friendships have definitely been an area that is lacking for Lex over the years. Especially our last year in Singapore, when we took him out of school completely. Then at dinner on Saturday (I got home lunchtime Saturday) Lex is sitting at the table, arguing his points, being super funny, and taking control of the situation. It was absolutely mind-boggling seeing Lex this way, because he has always been easily led and dominated, especially when it comes to conversations. I’m like Steve, what the hell has happened to Lex? Where is he?? Who is this person sitting next to me? Someone so in control of themselves and assured in their ideas! It was a wonderful moment, truly wonderful and my heart is bursting with pride for this beautiful boy who has struggled so much for so long. Instructions for Tribe Two And then I’m thinking, this isn’t the impact of a few hours at a birthday party. There has to be so much more to this! And of course there is. At school, he has three amazing teachers and they are consistent with Lex – which he needs. Besides the fact Arrowsmith is exactly what Lex needed, his teachers are having a massive positive impact on his confidence, but more importantly, helping him understand how to build positive social relationships. Just this has been awesome, because he was very immature for his age when we came to Phuket. He never got the years of social interactions most kids have by 11. More important than anything though, is the relationship Lex has with his dad. It’s so important for young men, at this age, to have a strong bond with their dad or a great male role model. It sets them up for life. And as a bonus, Lex got one-on-one time with Steve all week, because Jax went off to school camp in Krabi. Lucky Jax! That time with Steve, which he made super special for Lex, was absolutely brilliant and both of them keep talking about how awesome it was! In fact, last night, Lex asked me to go away this week so Jax could have the same quality time with his dad! I kind of feel like I’m letting Jax down for just being here – sorry mate! Obviously, I’ll have to stand back and let the boys have some special time together…. And the reason Lex wants me away is it’s his turn for camp today. In fact, we just dropped him off for his first ever school camp. And get this. For the next five days, Lex and his classmates will be canoeing around Phuket Island. How cool is that? His new teacher, Kru Joel. A legend Lex was suitably nervous about camp, of course, and a lot of effort went into the preparations. Steve did an outstanding job getting it all sorted. Even a couple of historical items were packed from Steve’s younger days as a canoeist in England. Cute. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for bringing those treasures with you. We waved Lex off this morning, both feeling a bit emotional, but he hardly looked back. It’s hard for us to be totally cool with this, because we kept him protected from the real world for as long as we could. We protected him because we know kids can be unkind at this age, so if they laugh at him or pick on him, it could have a massive impact and set him back. He’s a sensitive soul our Lexy! The good news is, we’ve managed to find an environment where that isn’t the ethos of the school at all and we are expecting an even more ballsy Lex to get off the bus on Friday. Lord help us! I’ve only had the first glimpse of a ballsy Lex and this is one powerful dude we’re unleashing on the world. But I gotta say, I love it. Go Lex. You’re a bloody legend mate. Bloody kids I tell you. They don’t grow up fast, they grow up very very suddenly, and I am loving it. Yes, mummy is definitely very happy about this latest evolution. Can anyone else relate? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained.

If I am honest, in hindsight, I would say the first three months in Phuket were completely shit. We turned up exhausted (like we’ve never known), and apart from Freddy (the dog) being ecstatic, it was a pretty sombre affair. Lunch with Mum on Naithon Beach   Even Riddick, the cat, seemed uncomfortable and unhappy in her new home. To this day, our scaredy cat is tentative about leaving the house! On the other hand, Xena, the Ragdoll, gives about as many fucks with all of this as she does with everything else in life. ZERO! The first three months involved lots of running around. Getting lost. Working out where to buy things. Working out what could no longer be bought. Fighting off the hordes of during the Christmas/NY frenzy!! Setting up bank accounts, phones, etc… when you don’t speak the local language. Dealing with immigration and visas. The boys adjusting to new schools. Jax missing his BFF. Steve and I travelling. Steve away for a MONTH before Christmas. Many many problems with the house that took AGES to get fixed. Adjusting to new levels of patience. Etc, etc, etc. It was intense! On top of that, the boys didn’t have an easy adjustment phase. Jax definitely struggled in such a vastly new environment, but Lex had a shocking time. For Lex, it’s been a combination of newness, testosterone surges and complete brain exhaustion – because Arrowsmith is HARD! All of this meant he didn’t get off to the best start at school! Oh man, that added some anxiety for Steve and I, let me tell you. The incredible Aunty Vick on her birthday. Jax is almost taller! We had a crescendo with Lex too, where he finally hit his limit, and that resulted in the biggest meltdown of all meltdowns just before Christmas. My heart broke for my little man then, but it also felt like he finally got all of the anxiety and stress out of his system. We all know how good that can feel… Raising kids is such a journey of highs and lows! Sometimes highs and lows reach the extreme edges, and we hit the stratosphere of lows with this meltdown. But, no matter what, we’ll always do what we can for Lexy, even if it’s only giving him more cuddles when he needs them – something I adopted in the lead up to, and following, the crash. It was that or releasing my growing frustrations – which wouldn’t help anyone, especially him. But the meltdown helped him to decompress and then over the Christmas break, we had lots of visitors. For the boys, the most important visitors were their cousins from Australia. They ADORE their big girl cousins Hetty and Elspeth. Completely and utterly adore. Not to forget Uncle Jimbo, Aunty Floppy and Atticus of course. This was an important visit for all of us, but we think having family visit helped calm them down and adjust. I believe the opportunity to see their new home through the eyes of people they love, helped them realize they could be happy here. So THANK YOU guys for coming! We still wish it was longer. Let’s book the next one in? New year, new attitudes And here we are, well into 2018 , which has seen a smooth start (with only a few rough moments) and the boys feel happy. Content. Sleeping well. Embracing life. It’s good. It feels like we made the right decision at last. Steve and I also had a bit of time alone together too. That helped us, because we’re all working this stuff out. But it’s not just Lex who we believe is benefitting. It’s also an excellent environment for Jax. For the last couple of years, we’ve felt his school experience in Singapore wasn’t working for him. From the bus ride in the morning to getting home from school, I always felt he braced himself to face his days. He loved it and never complained, but I watched him putting layers on his onion (aka Donkey and Shrek) or his armour to protect himself from the world. As a parent, I was definitely concerned those layers were becoming permanent and rigid. In position for the CNY Lion Dance with fresh Mohawks And yet in Phuket, in a gentle environment, where mindfulness, civic duty, diversity, kindness, respect, and all of the values we hold dear, are celebrated at school, I am happy to report that I’m watching the layers come off. Jax is becoming a kinder, more vulnerable and loving version of himself. I have to say that UWC Thailand is definitely a gorgeous environment, and because it’s smaller than before, I think this is a massive benefit for him. He’s not lost anymore. Less kids seem to band together more and there are less factions. The girls also want to play with the boys too – something Jax suffered when the girls disengaged from the boys a few years ago. Apparently a very normal developmental thing for young girls, but not something Jax appreciated. He LOVES girls. With that said, no girlfriends for the Jaxster yet and no besties either, but I think both boys are finally happy. Don’t get me wrong, they complain as much as ever, but there are some noticeable changes. They both have less night terrors, they cuddle and kiss us more, they tell us they love us every day AND the night lights are off in their room – just that was a wow moment for me! Equally, step by step, they’re demanding more independence (although regularly screwing that up) and I believe are finally growing into the beautiful young men we know they’re capable of becoming. Steve and I are still trying to work out how to live and continue our work, plus find time together. We know we’ll need to spend a lot of time apart from each other to do this, because we’ve agreed one of us always needs to be

Despair…. If I think to where my mind was this time last year, it was in despair. Despair at the possibility of a Donald Trump Whitehouse. Despair at the direction our world was heading in. Despair at division, hatred, and the impossible chasm that seemed to open between opposing ideas. How could we be in a place where hate speech and separation was acceptable? Where disregard for another’s suffering was the norm? The start of this year was a nightmare for me, and I couldn’t shake it off for months. But I’m a really positive and hopeful person, so I eventually got sick of feeling that way and decided to say fuck it – let’s go and make the most out of this life, regardless of the bullshit. The boys on our UAE adventure, right before I got slammed I detached from world affairs as much as I could (and trust me, I’m never detached from world affairs) and I tried to see the beauty in life. It was hard though. I remember going to bed – after putting the Easter eggs out on Easter Saturday night for the boys – saying to Steve: we could wake to nuclear war tomorrow; do you know that? And that was only the first time I felt that possibility. It’s happened a couple of times since. How did we get here? Ugh! Then I look around the world at other countries, where other dickless politicians rage at the world, pushing us all closer to war and hatred of each other. I want to scream at those assholes: we’re all human. We’re all in this together. We have bigger issues to deal with and you need to fuck off. Hope… But we have political shining lights in Canada, New Zealand, across Europe and elsewhere. We have business leaders doing extraordinary things. We have amazing organizations fighting the fights we need to fight. There are good people doing extraordinary things. Change is happening, even if the media is only focused on the bad, because bad sells right? Gorgeous Sri Lanka   We have to look beyond the messages of the mainstream, and because I try to do that, hope lives in my heart and I continue to believe humankind will move forward into a more compassionate, accepting, and peaceful time. It would just really suck if we had to experience massive destruction before we agree it’s time to elevate humanity into the next dimension of consciousness. Because that is coming, no matter what, and we need to get ready for it.   The path through this time is rocky though, which I see as the challenge of our time…. Let’s face it, we all know we have massive issues to deal with and that’s where our focus must be. I also believe it’s time for all of us to take individual responsibility for our impact on the environment and the societies around us. We, the people, have more power than we’ve ever had before and it’s time to embrace that power and do what needs to be done. 2018 is definitely looking like the year #TheResistance will rise. That’s exciting and I’m in. In the meantime, life ticks along and it’s been an interesting year for our family – lots of adventures, amazing experiences, successes and tears. Oh yes, the emotions have been high too. Riding the waves in Phuket Steve Starting with Steve, he has had an awesome year. He’s achieving kick-ass results, and is loving his work – just the lovin part is worth everything. I’m super proud of Steve, because when it comes to his real talent – building relationships across cultures and securing impossible business deals – he’s a master at it. He’s also incredibly supportive of what I’m doing, which makes me a very lucky girl in the husband I chose. Jax Jax has had an interesting year too. Almost 10, he was happy at AIS in Singapore, but we always felt he was a little lost there. The move to Phuket was massive for him – he was least enthusiastic – but today, being in a smaller school, with friends from every part of the world, as well as a gentler, mindfulness-focused environment, well it seems to be having a great impact on him. He hasn’t fully settled yet, but I think this move has been awesome for him. He’ll continue to grow up that one, and boy is he a natural charmer… Just like his dad. Catching up with Poppy and Nan in Australia Lex Lex has had the most interesting year of all of us. We started him in full time therapy for auditory processing challenges, but within six months, we saw little progress and he was deeply unhappy being away from friends. After another school rejected him, we moved everyone to Phuket, so he could join the Arrowsmith program at UWC Thailand, and already, we are seeing an impact. He’s more focused, reading and writing more, and ultimately, we’re heading towards a calmer Lexy. Again, the kids at this school are beautiful, which matters so much for our sensitive Lex, and he’s making new friends. Just that is gorgeous. At school, it’s exhausting what he has to do every day (his brain works so hard) but we are watching him mature, although that includes physical maturity, and with testosterone bursts kicking in, the first few months in Phuket have been tumultuous to say the least. Bloody kids I tell ya. No matter what, we absolutely believe, deep in our hearts, we are where we need to be for him. After the years of bullshit we’ve had to endure (and all of the emotions that went with it), with no one offering any fresh insight or answers to understand what was going on or what we needed to do to help him, it’s a little bit of a relief to finally found the answer. Now it’s up to him. Me And for me, what a year.

It’s Christmas time and a delightful evolution has happened in my mothering journey. Jax has decided that every night, I must kiss him before he’ll go to sleep.     But not just any kiss.   The challenge I face is: he covers his face with his hands, and I have to remove his hands to kiss him. Now Jax is a strong little fella, so this isn’t as easy as it sounds, but I eventually break him down and give him a big smacker-oo.   Not to be excluded, Lex then wants me to do it to him too. Unfortunately Lex is like me. Once you get him giggling, all strength disappears, so he is easy peasy.   But of course, it’s not the end of things. Jax wants me to do it to him again, and Lex insists on a second go as well. This extends night time rituals significantly and one is not always in the mood for antics at this time of the evening, but I gotta tell you, it’s super sweet! I mean, how can I resist them wanting me to kiss them? Not to mention, it so much better than being the worst mum ever….   I definitely see great romantic opportunities for these two lads down the line, and I can imagine them playing games like this with their lovers in the coming years. They’re going to do so well on that front. Especially Jax. He’s got a lot of charm that one.   With parenting, nothing stays still, and the kissing game evolved again last night. This time I had to resist them kissing me. I could have put up a feeble fight, but decided no, I’ll play their game. When determined I ain’t no easy push-over, but they eventually broke through the barriers – two of them taking me on at once. They think I’m Wonder Woman – chortle chortle.   My fear that one of us would get hurt was definitely justifiable, but thankfully, no smashed teeth – yet. It’s high-stakes-loving this.   Anyhoo it’s just a really lovely little thing that’s happening in my life right now and I think lovely things are important to share.   Can you share a lovely thing happening in your world right now to make us all smile?   And in case you were wondering, I am very cognizant of deeply appreciating and valuing this moment in time with my boys. All too soon they’ll never look back, so I am treasuring it, because this is the stuff that will always stay in my heart.   Yeah #BloodyKids, but they can be alright sometimes…   Hope it made you smile.   Yours, without the bollocks Andrea   Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

Decorating the Christmas tree with my lads, traditionally, has been nothing short of annoying. I’m gunna be honest here – they’ve always been completely useless in helping me get to the final conclusion one is aiming for – a reasonable looking tree.   Historically, well since kids came into my life, the majority of their time (while decorating said tree) is invested in smashing expensive decorations, or taking tinsel/beads to get the cats to chase it. Thanks, my loves. Super helpful….   With kids, you take what you get right?   Christmas decoration attire has been decided on The other element here is, it’s also a job I’ve had to do myself in recent years, because for the last couple, Steve had to be in the US for work at this time of year.   But I’m pleased to report, this year, everything changed. The biggest change was sharing memories as we put the tree together.   We collect Christmas decorations as we travel around the world. It’s amazing, you can buy Christmas decorations at any time of the year, in any part of the world – I’ve noticed.  Although, we also have interesting decorations never designed to be such.   It was lovely remembering with them. A market in Sri Lanka, a Vietnam adventure, or something we picked up in Australia. The boys were full of stories about that little moment in their lives. Beautiful right?   But it gets more beautiful.   They didn’t stop helping me decorate the tree until it was completely done. How’s that for you? That’s the real miracle.   Incidentally, they’re now writing their letters to Santa. I know Jax, at least, doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, but he’s milking it for all it’s worth. I actually admire him for it. However, I am pretty sure there still is that little piece of belief. He’s not fully ready to let go…. Just in case.   Research for Santa letter One example of milking is the Santa Letter. They are both sitting together right now, writing their letters, and I tell you, they are doing some very serious research. Their MACs are out, YouTube and toy sites are open, and every possible dream that enters their head + the toys these clever sites push kids too, mean the boys are writing a very comprehensive list indeed! And take a look at this. Lex wants a Piro Mini. Oh I am giggling.   Oh sure love, with your history of fire, it’d be my pleasure to pick that up for you…..   I admire them and I’m loving seeing this growth. Sometimes you don’t think your kids are growing up and then BAM! The next stage is upon us.   Oh, talking of next stage. Testosterone has entered the building. SHIT!  Get me outta here. Anyone relate to any of the above?   Yours, without the bollock Andrea   Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

Yep me, doh! You see I’m really good with directions (like navigation is a gift-good), so getting lost is not something I embrace. I like to know where I’m going, with no messing around along the way, ‘cos that makes me a grumpy bitch…. Ask Steve.   I’m also a person who does not enjoy shopping (well except maybe for Kaftans), but most especially, I do not like shopping for something I shouldn’t have to buy in the first place. Curtains for the guest bedroom in a rented property? Grrr.   That is what one calls pissing away one’s money.   Anyhoo, I did a search for curtain providers in Phuket, and Island Curtains came up top of the pops, with great reviews. So, with a determination to get the curtains sorted, I entered the address in not one but two GPS devices and the result – two different locations. Ummmm?   I decided to trust the new car GPS and after an hour or so, ended up in the North-West of the island. In fact, I had almost reached the Thai mainland and found myself driving around in the middle of a jungle. While beautiful, there were no curtains to be found.   So, I switched to trusty Google Maps. It took me down an even more barren road to nowhere, and two hours later, I return home with no curtains and no time for a massage for my achy back.   This is what an Australian would call an unhappy Jan moment.   I will never be defeated, so yesterday I tried again, because we now have some urgency. My great pal Cathy has arrived – our first guest – and I reckon no one needs a peep show, least of all Cathy.   I entered the same address….     A new location was presented, it looked about right, and this time I took Vick with me. It was all looking good. We seemed to be heading in the right direction, and then we started climbing a mountain. And we kept climbing. And while the road was a good road, the overgrowing foliage encroaching our path wasn’t a good sign. Neither was the fact there wasn’t a car to be seen.   We weren’t going in the right direction….. But where the bloody hell were we, I thought, as we continued to climb?   Vick thought it was hilarious and giggled beside me, until I almost landed us in a ditch at the side of the road… Suppose it was better than almost going off a cliff. That was possible too. Finally, FINALLY, we came down the other side, back into humanity, but nowhere near where I thought we were heading. In fact, we were almost at the most North-East point of the Island this time. I am seeing some of this Island I tell you.   At this point, I gave up on Island Curtains. They look great (and I have no idea why their address isn’t picking up correctly on GPS), but I had to resort to something I knew – Ikea. We turned around, and nearly 30 minutes later, we arrive. I provided the dimensions for the windows, and were told there is only one size of curtains available at Ikea Phuket. Too big for one window and too small for the other.   I am living in a pineapple paradise! Please, please, please tell me where I can find custom made curtains? I don’t want to be doing this at all! Help!!   Keep driving along the road, there’s a curtain shop on the other side, when you see it, do a u-turn and head there.   U-turns are big business in Phuket, believe me.   We found a shop. They could get the curtains made and delivered today, challenge overcome. Well maybe. Let’s see what happens when 3pm rolls around today… I remain hopeful.   But that’s a lot of time spent looking for something you have no joy in buying, although I know I will have joy in hosting beautiful people who want to come and visit.   Which means, the guest room is open – at last.   Incidentally, from that point onwards driving home, every second shop I passed was a curtain shop…. Always the case right?   Until you spend a bit of time driving around these parts, I don’t think people quite appreciate how big Phuket is. Traffic congestion is definitely an issue and you are doing a constant dance with motorbikes, but it’s a fairly massive place. I reckon I’ve had the pleasure of seeing parts of it that most Phuketians probably haven’t seen.   (Side note, no idea if Phuketians is an actual word…)   I have never been a person who embraces being lost, but then, there are some pretty amazing things to see on this Island. Here’s a chicken or rooster than kept me occupied while waiting for some traffic lights to change. You’re welcome.     I’m looking forward to sharing these little moments with you when you come. And don’t be surprised if we get lost too. It’s not the first time and won’t be the last.   Anyone else remember being lost on useless missions? Did you see a rooster too?   Yours, without the bollocks Andrea   Road ends photo courtesy of Shutterstock   Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx