Andrea T Edwards

Who gets lost, twice, hunting for curtains in Phuket?

Yep me, doh! You see I’m really good with directions (like navigation is a gift-good), so getting lost is not something I embrace. I like to know where I’m going, with no messing around along the way, ‘cos that makes me a grumpy bitch…. Ask Steve.
I’m also a person who does not enjoy shopping (well except maybe for Kaftans), but most especially, I do not like shopping for something I shouldn’t have to buy in the first place. Curtains for the guest bedroom in a rented property? Grrr.
That is what one calls pissing away one’s money.
Anyhoo, I did a search for curtain providers in Phuket, and Island Curtains came up top of the pops, with great reviews. So, with a determination to get the curtains sorted, I entered the address in not one but two GPS devices and the result – two different locations. Ummmm?
I decided to trust the new car GPS and after an hour or so, ended up in the North-West of the island. In fact, I had almost reached the Thai mainland and found myself driving around in the middle of a jungle. While beautiful, there were no curtains to be found.
So, I switched to trusty Google Maps. It took me down an even more barren road to nowhere, and two hours later, I return home with no curtains and no time for a massage for my achy back.
This is what an Australian would call an unhappy Jan moment.
I will never be defeated, so yesterday I tried again, because we now have some urgency. My great pal Cathy has arrived – our first guest – and I reckon no one needs a peep show, least of all Cathy.
I entered the same address….
A new location was presented, it looked about right, and this time I took Vick with me.
It was all looking good. We seemed to be heading in the right direction, and then we started climbing a mountain. And we kept climbing. And while the road was a good road, the overgrowing foliage encroaching our path wasn’t a good sign. Neither was the fact there wasn’t a car to be seen.
We weren’t going in the right direction….. But where the bloody hell were we, I thought, as we continued to climb?
Vick thought it was hilarious and giggled beside me, until I almost landed us in a ditch at the side of the road… Suppose it was better than almost going off a cliff. That was possible too.
Finally, FINALLY, we came down the other side, back into humanity, but nowhere near where I thought we were heading. In fact, we were almost at the most North-East point of the Island this time. I am seeing some of this Island I tell you.
At this point, I gave up on Island Curtains. They look great (and I have no idea why their address isn’t picking up correctly on GPS), but I had to resort to something I knew – Ikea.
We turned around, and nearly 30 minutes later, we arrive. I provided the dimensions for the windows, and were told there is only one size of curtains available at Ikea Phuket. Too big for one window and too small for the other.
I am living in a pineapple paradise!
Please, please, please tell me where I can find custom made curtains? I don’t want to be doing this at all! Help!!
Keep driving along the road, there’s a curtain shop on the other side, when you see it, do a u-turn and head there.
U-turns are big business in Phuket, believe me.
We found a shop. They could get the curtains made and delivered today, challenge overcome. Well maybe. Let’s see what happens when 3pm rolls around today… I remain hopeful.
But that’s a lot of time spent looking for something you have no joy in buying, although I know I will have joy in hosting beautiful people who want to come and visit.
Which means, the guest room is open – at last.
Incidentally, from that point onwards driving home, every second shop I passed was a curtain shop…. Always the case right?
Until you spend a bit of time driving around these parts, I don’t think people quite appreciate how big Phuket is. Traffic congestion is definitely an issue and you are doing a constant dance with motorbikes, but it’s a fairly massive place. I reckon I’ve had the pleasure of seeing parts of it that most Phuketians probably haven’t seen.
(Side note, no idea if Phuketians is an actual word…)
I have never been a person who embraces being lost, but then, there are some pretty amazing things to see on this Island. Here’s a chicken or rooster than kept me occupied while waiting for some traffic lights to change. You’re welcome.
I’m looking forward to sharing these little moments with you when you come. And don’t be surprised if we get lost too. It’s not the first time and won’t be the last.
Anyone else remember being lost on useless missions? Did you see a rooster too?
Yours, without the bollocks
Road ends photo courtesy of Shutterstock
If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

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