Tuning Out and Reflecting

I am on day three of a six day break in Phuket – the first proper break our family has had for five years, and the reason it’s a proper break is easy – we’re not worrying about anything right now, it’s all kind of going in the right direction. Awesome. So now we have a chance to stop. Be happy. Walk slowly. Be at peace. Celebrate life. Enjoy each other’s company. You know, be on holiday?

But day one I was a frickin basket case. I could not switch my mind off because there were so MANY things I didn’t finish before heading to the airport. There was, literally, no time in the day to get it all done before I left. I couldn’t let it go, and even though I have years of working wisdom behind me with the knowledge that no one’s going to die based on the work I do,  it still put me in a frazzle.

The night of day one Steve and I sat down, relaxed and remembered to laugh at ourselves. That’s what did it. Tuned me into holiday mode – the mode that allows you to step out of the chaos of your life and ask the question – is this right for us? Are we headed in the right direction? What do we need to do differently? What needs to change? What’s good? What could be improved? Everyone in the family OK on this journey of life?

As such, the epiphanies have been flowing – and I love epiphanies – the notebooks are out, ideas are being recorded, and most importantly, Steve and I are getting a relationship tune-up, as are both of us with the boys. It’s good for them to see us relaxing. They haven’t seen too much of that with all of the constant uncertainty around us.

Phuket is also a favorite place to be, but this trip has been cathartic for a number of reasons. The main one being – we had to come back to Phuket as a family, because the last time we were here it was a disaster. It was in 2009 and we tried to live here – thinking all we needed were phones, laptops and international airport access and we’d be laughing. The boys were 15 months and two and a half then, and within the first week, Jax got electrocuted and it was pretty much downhill from there. The dream became a nightmare and it was the start of a few years of uncertainty – we just didn’t know where we wanted to be.

We’re beyond that and this holiday is an opportunity to say thank god that bloody time is over – never again!

With that, the mega-pool at the Angsana is calling to me and I’m going to take the boys on a frog discovery adventure.

Yours, without the bollocks


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