I’ve had a few weeks of really achieving some great stuff, but right now, I am done in. The main reason has to be my boys and this cold snap. Whenever it’s cold, they always jump in bed with us and these last two nights it’s been at 1am, 3am, and whatever time it was last night. It’s lovely most of the time, BUT it’s a real pain in the arse too and has left me exhausted. Jax is the worst – he wriggles and kneads me with his feet. Although Lex does like to try and sleep with his head on my head sometimes too – that’s not very comfortable.
My eyes have got that tired, red, itchy feeling – it’s hard to keep them open – and I just want to curl up and sleep, but I can’t, so it is now becoming a day I’ve just got to get through. We all have them.
But, I can’t be idle – I’m either asleep or I’m on the go – that was me long before the boys came along. Not to forget that when I’m with the boys I certainly have no opportunity to be idle. They do not allow that.
It doesn’t help with Steve away. Not just because I’m at the coalface with the boys, but because I miss him, and when he goes away I pine, and he pines, and we both achieve less not having each other around to brighten up the day. Seven years since we met and we’re still pathetic for each other… we wouldn’t have it any other way tho.
So as I have now accepted my ambivalent mood, I am going to find a good book to read, sit by the canal and listen to the birds. There is nothing else to be done for it, especially because in exactly one hour, I’ll be chasing the boys up the road, dodging cars and trucks – another bonus of this week. Two doors away is a construction site – COOL!
My inspiration will return, of that I am sure.
Yours, without the bollocks