Andrea Edwards

I just realised I missed my blogs first birthday by a couple of days, and thought it can’t go unrecognised. What a wild and wonderful journey it’s been and I absolutely wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who has been reading my ramblings and supporting what I’ve been doing here. Back in the day – when I launched with “The Ghost Who Tried to Shag Me” – I’ve got to admit it’s been a funny old ride – one of excitement and anxiety mixed together. To be completely honest, I haven’t found it easy doing this – putting my head out in the public domain for all to see. On the other hand, it has been incredibly cathartic for me having a platform to channel all of the thoughts and ideas that rattle around in my head every day, the best bit, you seem interested in reading it – amazing. There is one other bonus in doing this blog, because, in many ways, it’s actually helped to make me a calmer person… that’s something special huh? I suppose it’s probably because it’s all part of a broader goal I’m working towards and the commitment to this blog is keeping me focused on achieving that – getting books published one day. In case you’re interested, I wrote another blog recently for our professional blog and it’s about all of the lessons I’ve learnt from blogging, so if you’re interested in taking this path, for whatever reason, check it out. It might give you a head start, rather than learning everything I’ve already had to learn! So as I come to my year end and look ahead to the new one, it’s a chance to ask – what do you want me to write about? The vagina blogs certainly garnered lots of attention, as did the political ones when I pushed them out a big harder than normal, but so have the spiritual type blogs and the family perspectives…. so what to focus on? Or do I just keep it a mesh of all things? It’s your chance to contribute to the “Without the Bollocks editorial calendar” and I’d be appreciative of any feedback. But thank you thank you thank you for all of the support, appreciation and laughs. I feel loved. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

In an effort to continually try things I’ve never done before, including reading books by authors I’ve avoided, I picked up Anthony Robbins “Awaken the Giant Within.” Anthony was well off my radar, as are most American life coaches, because it’s all a bit awesome and cool and high five for me. But I’ve got to say, this is great stuff and there are a lot of “actionable” suggestions to follow. I’m going to do a few of them for sure, as there’s definitely nothing wrong with getting focused on the good stuff in life. A couple of things have captured my imagination so far and the first is the chapter on life’s metaphors. I’ve never really thought about this, just lived it. He talks about the good and bad metaphors most of us apply – usually without knowing it – to life. For example, good metaphors include “life is a dance” or “life is a game” and then the not so positive metaphors include “life is tough and it ends with death” or ‘life is war.” Naturally, based on what metaphors you apply consciously or unconsciously, so your life shall be. I reckon my main metaphor has to be “life is a great big adventure and who knows what’s around the corner.” I think that’s where my passion for travel comes from and why I can’t settle back into a quiet life, where nothing significantly different happens on any given day. But that’s just me. I love being in Singapore and Asia because every day I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I never know who I’m going to meet or where they’re going to come from. In the last few days I’ve had amazing conversations with some great people: a Muslim taxi driver who really made me think about parenting in a different way; a Polish lady whose philosophies on life made me stop and think; or an Indian friend who talked about the challenges of being Indian in the world today. Sure there are shit days in the mix, but a true adventure wouldn’t be complete without shit days – as we all know, it’s how you deal with them that counts.  So I suppose my main metaphor is ultimately positive and by recognising it consciously, I reckon it can help shape the way I live my life a little better. The other thing Anthony offers is a challenge to be positive and in a happy state for 10 days straight. Easy right? During this challenge, every time you find a negative thought or emotion cropping up, you’ve got two minutes to say bollocks to that and get happy and positive again. If you don’t achieve that, you start your 10 day challenge over. I decided to start it on Thursday morning, but then the boys were a pain in the arse getting them out the door and off to school, and Steve was a grumpy bastard during a pre-meeting preparation frenzy. So I started again Friday and then I had a big night with a great friend Saturday, so the resulting hang-over on Sunday meant I wasn’t happy, happy, happy, and while I didn’t get into a negative state, I reckon it means I’ve got to start again today. Thus I am back on day one and for the next 10 days I will work very hard at maintaining a happy and positive internal equilibrium. The funny thing is challenging yourself to be happy is pretty good. It’s not that I’m a miserable bitch or anything (although I have my days) but I would definitely like to be more “joyous” every day for the rest of my life, and less caught up in “life is a bit of a grind.” I reckon this is a great way to start, as it takes 10 days to create a habit after all. So what’s your life metaphor? Are you the sort of person who goes to work thinking “time to put my nose to the grindstone” or are you excited and challenged by what the day will bring? Will you go home to “the old hag” otherwise known as your wife or “the most beautiful woman in the world,” “your soul mate,” “your better half,” or “your lover?” Are you “at the end of your rope” or “at a cross roads in life” or are you “floating on air” most of the time or perhaps “as happy as a lark?” I’d be curious to know what your metaphor/s is/are – for anything in your life? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Steve didn’t realise it was Mother’s Day until 3pm on Friday. He found out when he collected the boys from school and they presented him with Mummy’s special handmade cards – shite! That night, as not a word in relation to the big day had been uttered, I said to Steve, “you do realise it’s Mother’s Day on Sunday right?” Steve replied “I just found out today!” I said “you don’t have to go nuts you know?” He said, “you sure?” I said, “I’m sure.” I meant “let’s just have a really lovely day and please, there’s no need to rush off to Tiffanys, Cartier, or Georg Jensen, but perhaps a nice spot of lunch or afternoon tea?” He heard “we don’t have to do anything or celebrate it in anyway.” Doh! I think the highlight was volunteering to take Lex out to a pet shop, because he loves cats and this shop has cats meandering all over the place, so it’s a lovely thing to do with him. However the pet shop is on a street of lovely restaurants and boutique speciality shops, where everyone was enjoying Mother’s Day brunches, or Dad’s were out with their kids buying mum a little special something…. Steve is Mr. Thoughtful, but at the moment he has A LOT on his mind, and world events have been pretty intense in recent weeks… Not to mention our TV is dominated by two little blondies + he’s a bit apathetic when it comes to modern day communication vehicles, like Facebook. He certainly couldn’t have missed Mother’s Day if he’d been spending time on Facebook that’s for sure. Steve also doesn’t do any shopping anymore, as we have Noemi to do that now, so he wasn’t even subjected to the barrage of retail marketing. It might not make sense to everyone, but the truth is, he just missed it this year. With all that said, I’ve got very mixed feelings about Mother’s Day, as Steve well knows. As a child, Mother’s Day was always full of great expectation and usually ended it tears – I couldn’t say it was ever a happy time. I’ve always put Mother’s Day alongside other bollocks “holidays” like Valentine’s Day – which still is a bollocks holiday in my mind. But then I became a mother and you know what, being a mother is a bloody intense occupation. It is hard and relentless and unrewarding and exhausting and it screws around with your body. But it is also wonderful and amazing and gratifying and special and there is nothing like watching your children growing up everyday into the amazing adults they will become and feeling a little bit responsible for that. On my first Mother’s Day, I had absolutely no idea how I would feel. In Steve’s usual style, he went nuts and got me a Tiffany’s necklace with Lex’s name engraved on it, as well as lots of other special and thoughtful stuff. He knows how to spoil me and always has. Lex was about six months old, Jax was newly on the way, and suffice to say, I was a pathetic emotional mess – as is any pregnant woman’s right. From that moment I knew Mother’s Day would be important for me, not because of the jewellery, but because I was being honoured in a way I hadn’t experienced before. I was deeply touched by the whole experience and what it meant to finally be a mum. So I went from being one of the world’s great cynics about Mother’s Day to being someone who understood why it was important to celebrate this one day of the year – it is a chance to say thanks Mums, you’re really doing a worthy job. Mother’s know what they give 24 hours a day to their children and most of us do it with love. Sure there are a lot of shit moments and days in the mix, but most Mum’s I know wouldn’t have it any other way… although a few more sleeps ins would be nice. Most of the time, I am thrilled at the prospect of my boys “needing” me for the next couple of decades, but sometimes just the thought of it exhausts me. No matter what though, I will give my boys my all because they deserve that and while I won’t have a spring in my step every morning, I’ll try hard to find it most days. Let’s face it, having two boys 15 months apart means it’s not easy right now. They are both going through extremely intense and demanding phases, but they’re growing up and pushing the boundaries, so I spend a lot of time trying to give them the space they need to grow, but I’m always ready to back them up with cuddles when the boundaries come crashing down. Life beyond Mum (and Dad) isn’t always pleasant after all. Therefore, having just one day a year dedicated to saying thanks mum, you’re ace… well it’s a nice tradition and one that I am finally able to embrace. Steve has definitely learnt that too… In the meantime, when Steve hears “you don’t have to go nuts right?” he’ll understand a special day is in order, but not in a gift giving sense. Steve is the most sensitive and thoughtful man on the planet, but yesterday he “missed” for the first time in seven years. He knows that I don’t need diamonds or rubies or extravagance, but a day where my boys pay just a little bit of extra attention to Mum; well that’s what it’s about right? Making each other feel special sometimes. Steve’s greatest crime is the high standards he set, so when he did nothing, it came as a bit of a shock. We don’t have a relationship built on not doing the special stuff. That’s never been who we are and we both 100 per cent know that. It was definitely a lesson learnt. But I do have

I wanted to write something yesterday and I put this blog together, but my content reviewer, Steve, said no, it’s all too fresh and too hot – don’t enter into a battle with words on something so contentious. But that’s what this blog is about right? A platform to offer “my” opinions, whether they are right or wrong, because we all have ideas about things and by launching this blog, I decided to declare mine to the world. So I’ve been thinking about what Steve said long and hard, but I still want to write this. I don’t think I’m right here, I just want to share a point of view and would be very pleased to hear what others think – not just about what I think, but about what YOU think. Discussion is what keeps me going. On Sunday, I really did appreciate that many in the US needed to “celebrate” the news of Osama’s demise. I missed being in WTC1 by the skin of my teeth, cancelling a meeting there the night before – so I do understand the emotion wrapped around that day. Walking the streets of NYC in the aftermath of 9/11 will stay with me forever, especially all of the photos on the Battery building. It was very powerful and very very sad. But it’s not just 9/11 that we link his face to. It’s linked to all the bad that has befallen not just America, but the world in recent decades – London, Spain, Bali, Africa, Yemen, India, Pakistan, and everywhere else a bomb has killed innocent people, as well as the excuse for Iraq and Afghanistan + its aftermath – where tens of thousands have been killed (estimates go from 90,000+ to over one million by the way.) Some people have suffered tremendously, losing loved ones, becoming maimed, having their way of life become a living terror, being orphaned and so much more – but it’s not just “the Christian nations” that have suffered. Thousands of Muslims all over the world continue to suffer at the hands of terrorists, but they also suffer through our ignorance and racism. Muslims are linked to this man and his ideals because they share the same religion, but that is all they share. Ask any Muslim and most will tell you he is not one of us. I asked a Muslim on Sunday how he felt about the news? He said, I feel great but Osama wasn’t one of us. He was something separate – he doesn’t represent me or my Islam. I didn’t ask him because I considered him linked to Osama because of his religion, I asked him because I wanted to know how a Muslim was responding to the news and the way it was being “celebrated.” He said he wasn’t comfortable with the celebrating and that it would potentially create even more problems. Well we all know that right? I really believe that now is a chance to take the moral high ground, because how this is handled now can improve things or make things worse – because one thing is for sure, nothing is going to change because Osama bin Laden is dead. If anything, I believe it will get worse, unless we wake up and really see the opportunity we have. Am I pleased Osama is dead? I don’t know if pleased is the right word. Does it make me sad that people like him exist in the world, hurting millions in their lifetime – absolutely, but then, it’s not about an individual, but about the world we live in creating opportunities for people like him to exist. That is the crux of the issue for me. How do people like him even exist? Well because people are doing bad things in his part of the world and eventually, when enough bad shit happens, people like him rise up and start fighting back. That’s the part of the story we seem oblivious to. While we’ve all been focused on this “War on Terror,” one question still hasn’t been answered and that is the why? Why do people like bin Laden do what they do? What motivates them? When September 11th hit, many of my American friends said “why do they hate us so much?” and I said: “ you really don’t know what your government and other European governments, along with your big corporations have been doing in that part of the world for 100’s of years? Really?” To this day, people are still not asking THAT question and most are unable to appreciate that there is ALWAYS another side to a story. The Christian World has plundered and disrespected the “Muslim” world for over 1,000 years and people in that region are pissed off. They’ve had enough and they have valid reasons for feeling this way. Let’s go back a couple of thousands years briefly (or not so briefly) and try and understand where it’s all coming from. These bullets are directly attributable to J.W. Smith, who wrote “The World’s Wasted Wealth II.” While I appreciate that this is long, if you even read three bullets, you’ll get a great sense of why we are going through all of this bullshit today! • “The Roman, Byzantine, Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, French, English, and Ottoman empires all demanded tribute from their outlying provinces and continually consumed this wealth-and eventually wealth from the center-defending against encroachment by competing empires • The Romans extended their empire around the entire Mediterranean Sea and part of the Bible is the record of battles resisting subjugation in the peripheral province of Israel. After 300 years of persecution, during the 4th century A.D., Emperors Constantine and Theodosius made Christianity the state religion and “forbade the worship of ancient pagan gods” • Over the next 1,100 years, as the Roman Empire in the West was overwhelmed by barbarians, the people of Turkestan – who had a long history of conquest and defeat, back and forth, with China, Mongolia,

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr Yours, without the bollocksAndrea

A friend, who’s a bit of a spiritual, hippy, mother-earth type (hi Erica) pushed me towards a Website that delivers emails five days a week to help you become a better parent. Anyone who has been reading my blog knows that my boys do have a tendency to drive me NUTS, so I subscribed and it’s fantastic – it really can change my whole day. I’ve cut and pasted a few of the recent ones I liked, and if you like it, you can go to Enjoy Parenting and subscribe. I rarely get things in my inbox that I look forward to and this email has quickly become a favourite of my day. It’s short, easy to digest and well, it can change my mood for an entire day. So as the love was shared with me, it behoves me to pass it on. Hope you enjoy it. Hopefully I’ve done enough attributions to have not broken any copywrite laws… Excerpts from THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle “I’d Rather Feel Good!” “We’ve been conditioned by the agents of our culture — parents, teachers, the media, etc. — to believe that our success and happiness depend on being “right.” “Today, let’s question that… “When you argue with your child, you may be “right,” but do you feel happy? “When you criticize your partner, you may be “right,” but do you feel love? “When you berate yourself for making a mistake, you get to be “right” about your wrongness! Are we having fun yet??? “If you feel stress today — even mild tension – ask yourself if you’re trying to be “right” about something, and consider the potential relief of simply letting it go. “Just breathe… and tell yourself, “I’d rather feel good than be right!” Copyright (c) 2011 by Scott Noelle A good reminder huh? “Unadulterated Fun “When parents take their jobs too seriously, they cease to appreciate their children’s childlike innocence. They start to care more about being right than having fun. They think they’re being “adult,” but really they’re being “adulterated.” 🙂 “Childlike” is not the same as “childish,” which is when a child behaves like a caricature of an adulterated adult. Childlike adults seek unadulterated fun: responsible but light-hearted and playful. “Today, let your child’s commitment to fun inspire you to relax and be more childlike. And when you’re tempted to take parenting too seriously – to “adulterate” — just tell yourself, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” ;-)” Copyright (c) 2011 by Scott Noelle I think this is a favourite. I hate being too bloody serious all the time! “Boycott That Thought! “Conscientious parents often boycott companies whose products and practices undermine children’s well-being. Today, let’s play with the idea of boycotting *thoughts* that undermine your parenting vision. “The human mind is like a marketplace of thoughts, and *attention* is the currency with which you “buy into” a thought… or not. You boycott a thought by paying no attention to it — by focusing on a better, more empowering thought instead. “A conventional boycott is only effective if large numbers of consumers participate. But there’s only ONE consumer in your thought market: YOU. So when you boycott a thought, that thought’s “market share” goes to zero percent and it goes “out of business.” “When you feel bad about your parenting or your child, it means you’re buying into some negative thought or perspective. For example, a thought like “I suck as a parent” closes your heart and undermines your creativity, so… “BOYCOTT THAT THOUGHT! “…and give your attention to encouraging thoughts like “I don’t have to be perfect… My parenting is gradually improving… I’m finding my way.” Copyright (c) 2011 by Scott Noelle Good huh? Obviously I like it. But if it resonates with you, check it out. I’ve really found it can change my whole mood for a day, which means I’m calmer, more accepting, and more loving to my wee lads. It’s definitely made a difference, and pretty quickly to boot. Right, time to log off and start enjoying “The Wedding” build up. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Please help me because I’m not feeling very “in the know” these days! I’ve been having an ongoing disagreement with Steve about the meaning of LoL and I actually think he’s right. I don’t have an issue with him being right BTW (which means “by the way”) I’m just at the point where I’d really like to know so I can use it confidently, and it’d also be good to understand if anyone else is a little bewildered by all the online “speak” doing the rounds these days? So LoL – is it “Laugh out Loud” or “Lots of Love?” The problem is, in 95 percent of cases both work, but in the other five percent of cases, I have to admit that laugh out loud wins. So now I’m wondering if my beloved husband is right… Does anyone know? And are there any other sweet little acronyms that have gotten you confused? I do worry that future generations are not only going to write in this language, but speak in it as well! In the meantime, LoL… and I mean lots of love! Yours, WTBAndrea

One day, if my boys are curious lads, they’re going to ask: “Mum, why do we have the Easter Bunny because bunnies don’t lay eggs?” And I’ll say you’re right, let’s go and do a bit of research into that, OR I’ll get the basis of an answer together today and share it with my friends online, then my boys will think I’m really clever and maybe someone out there might think so too. Let me start by asking – how many times have you wondered but just not bothered to find out why Easter is symbolised by a big fluffy bunny and eggs? I have loads of times but this Easter, I decided it was time to know the “truth.” Essentially I’ve always known it’s a Pagan ritual of some description, celebrating new life, Spring, etc.. but I can’t admit to truly “knowing” what it’s all about, so here goes… Growing up in a Catholic family, Easter was good from a chocolate perspective, bad from a Church perspective. It was always the longest mass of the year without the fun (you know, it was about the crucifixion after all,) and there were other aspects to it, like fasting! We did get to have fish and chips on a Friday though and Shrove Tuesday was always a goodie. For some, it’s the only time of year they get to gorge on pancakes – take Steve’s family as an example. Throughout my childhood, there was a lot of ritual around Easter and extra masses (ugh,) and while at the time it was exciting, it’s certainly not something I’ll subject my children to. It’s important to note that I am still undecided on what rituals to introduce into my son’s lives – because I do believe that some rituals can be good. Currently I’m considering giving them exposure to every religion (so friends of other faiths, invite us along, we will come) and then they can decide what they want to do when they’re old enough. We shall see. But I digress. According to www.who2.com “the Easter Bunny is a jaunty symbol of the annual Christian holiday of Easter. (Easter marks the day that Jesus of Nazareth is believed to have risen from the grave after his crucifixion.) According to tradition, the Easter Bunny makes his visit every year, scattering brightly-colored eggs as he goes. The origins of the Easter Bunny aren’t clear; the first recorded references to him (as “Oschter Haws”) are generally agreed to have come from Germany in the 1500s. In ancient times the rabbit was a symbol of fertility, equated with springtime and renewal of life, and the hare was also associated with the moon, whose cycles determine the precise date of Easter each year. Over time these traditions presumably merged with the annual celebration of Easter itself, and now the Easter Bunny is associated with Easter in much the same way that Santa Claus is the secular symbol of Christmas.” So we can thank the Germans for the tradition of Easter eggs, especially the ones who moved to North America, because that ensured commercialisation, globalisation and sugar rushes for Christian children around the world yesterday. Some key facts I picked up thanks to Wikipedia include: The first mention of the Easter Bunny was Georg Franck von Frankenau’s De ovis paschalibus referring to an Alsace tradition of an Easter Hare bringing Easter Eggs The first edible Easter Eggs were made in Germany during the early 19th century and were made of pastry and sugar – chocolate was a good evolution Eggs, like rabbits and hares, are fertility symbols of antiquity. Since birds lay eggs and rabbits and hares give birth to large litters in the early spring, these became symbols of the rising fertility of the earth at the Vernal Equinox Rabbits and hares are both prolific breeders as we all know – we’ve all heard the saying…. BUT check this out – females can conceive a second litter of offspring while still pregnant with the first – YIKES!! This phenomenon is known as supertfetation The precise origin of the ancient custom of colouring eggs is not known, although evidently the blooming of many flowers in spring coincides with the use of the fertility symbol of eggs—and eggs boiled with some flowers change their colour, bringing the spring into the homes Eggs were forbidden to Catholics during the fast of Lent, which was the reason for the abundance of eggs at Easter time It doesn’t take a lot of smarts to see that like Christmas, we have full moons, Equinox, fertility, new life, Spring, etc… all in the mix, so when I looked deeper another answer cropped up on http://www.chacha.com – “Easter originally was a pagan celebration worshiping the goddess of fertility and springtime Estre, her symbol was the rabbit.” Get it Estre / Easter? She was the Anglo-Saxon Goddess of Spring and she had a festival every year at Vernal Equinox. Yes, as with most things pre-Christian, the Catholic Church did such a good job of “covering up” yet utilizing existing traditions, with a major focus on “killing off” the Goddesses, we got to the point that most of us aren’t even aware of them anymore. It’s weird, we now “celebrate” the brutal crucifixion of a man, the Son of God no less, yet the history of the celebration is about new life and a female goddess. I just have to ask, how the hell did they come up with the alternative story, and how the hell did they “sell” it so successfully? I mean they didn’t even have Facebook and Twitter back then…. And let’s face it, the newer version isn’t exactly a bedtime story…. So what am I going to teach my sons? I think we might dance on the grass, celebrate the new moon and pay homage to Estre. They’ll grow up thinking their Mum is a weirdo, but I’m OK with that. Yours, without the bollocksAndrea PS: to my Christian friends –

Royal Wedding season is in full swing. The protesters are petitioning for the right to protest, the Union Jack flags are up, the street parties are being organised, we haven’t seen Kate’s dress yet (but the excitement is mounting,) and the cynicism is flying around thick and fast. Every Pom I speak with tells me it’s all bullshit and they couldn’t think of anything worse, but I know they’ll all be secretly watching and loving it. The womenfolk will be fawning over pictures of “the frock” for months to come and we’ll know every detail, including how many silk worms went into creation of said frock. The designer of the dress will be set for life. Hey it’s a spectacle. It’s about princes and princesses. It’s about fantasy. Whether you like it or not, people LOVE royal weddings and as this is William – the beloved, handsome and most similar son of the ‘Princess of Hearts’ – it’s going to be huge. Not to mention the UK could do with a bit of a morale boost right now, and royal weddings involving heirs to the throne usually achieve that. Also William’s got to get married soon, otherwise his hair will be gone and he won’t make such a handsome groom. Not that I think bald men are ugly of course, I have married one and I think he’s delicious. Many people reading this might not remember Charles and Diana’s wedding, or maybe weren’t even born yet? Yikes. But I remember it. I was 11 and for this wee lass growing up in Wodonga, a country town in Victoria, Australia, it was an incredibly exciting and romantic time. We were even allowed to stay up late to watch it and the moment Diana got out of her carriage to reveal the much anticipated gown – well it was certainly an “ahhhhh” moment. We talked about it for months… I suppose we all fell in love with the whole idea of it… I soon got over that though and rejected all things traditional when my time for wedded bliss arrived. Cosmos and sarongs were more my style. Not a “Muriel” moment was witnessed. But Australians were enamoured with Diana and that fascination didn’t really waver over the years – especially where I grew up. Diana had a sister living on a farm in our area for a time, so they always came through Albury airport to visit. It was very exciting and Albury Wodonga made global front page news when William took his first steps in our community. We all felt bonded to them just a little bit because of that. Considering all of the shit and horribleness that dogged Diana since that day, I have no idea why Kate would “choose” to become a part of the British Royal Family. I mean this girl is never going to know a moment’s peace. Everything she does, every gown she wears, the jewellery, the pensive looks, the charity projects, every minute mistake and faux pas… it will be scrutinized, scrutinized and scrutinized again. Not to mention the comparisons to Di? But then she seems to be getting along pretty well so far and the press have certainly been kinder to her, so let’s see how she goes? Maybe the press learnt their lesson? I can’t imagine anyone wanting this life, but she’s decided she does and good luck to her and William. They’re a part of our lives now, whether we buy the gossip mags or not. I wonder what path they’ll follow – boring? Exciting? Adding a bit of sauce into our lives? We shall see. So are we going to participate? Well Steve and I are thinking of buying tickets to a royal gala dinner being held at the British Club here in Singapore. We haven’t got the tickets yet, and it certainly might be too late (only one table left,) but we reckon it could be a hoot. We definitely need to get onto that because it could certainly be a memorable night AND you get a free souvenir cup, featuring the happy couple, to mark the occasion. Bargain. Anyone want to join us if tickets still available? What are you going to do? Are you a derider that will watch it secretly? Or are you open about your love of such occasions? And please, don’t be telling me you won’t watch it, because you will – everyone with a TV will. It is going to clog up the airwaves for a few days – none can escape. I’ll watch it, unless of course the current movie of choice in our house, Ice Age 3, wins the TV wars. The only thing I know for sure. Watching a royal wedding through the eyes of an 11 years old girl, versus the eyes of my unspecified current age will certainly make it less fantastical. I’ll make the most of it I’m sure. Yours, without the bollocksAndrea

I was down on Arab Street in Singapore the other morning, arriving before 10am when the shops were just starting to open. It’s great watching a city come to life isn’t it? I love Arab Street. It’s a curious collection of shops and people and smells and sights – definitely worth a wander whenever you visit this town. Anyhoo, I went down because I wanted to buy Steve some prayer beads for his birthday. Steve often speaks of his time in Yemen, working for an oil company out in the desert, always with some prayer beads to hand. He found them very soothing and wishes he’d kept them. Most of the shops were still setting up when I arrived, but I walked around a corner and there was this tiny stall selling a bunch of Muslim accoutrements, but most importantly, they had prayer beads. I asked the lady if they had anything finer, and she asked her Dad to give us a hand. So this lovely, smiley, gorgeous old man comes along and hands me a set of beautiful and delicate wooden “worry” beads, and that was it, I had what I’d come for. My mission was achieved with time to spare. But the magic was in the moment. The daughter was really delightful, but the old man was adorable. He asked me where I was from, expecting me to be a tourist, and then I asked him. He was originally from Indonesia. How long have you been in Singapore? Me almost seven years, him 55 years. Wow 55 years. You were here before independence? Can you imagine the changes he has seen? It was nothing, really, just two people having a chat, but the whole experience was delightful. I walked away from the experience feeling happy. It actually made me feel happier all day – funny that. Kindness is definitely a free and powerful gift. A mate of mine from my childhood (Melissa) posted up a happy experience she had the other day on Facebook – she walked past a building site in Australia and the workers said “hey, show us your tits” – as they do – so she lifted her shirt. They were ecstatic and it made her smile all day. See it’s all in the giving right? Slightly different, but it made us both smile. I truly wish all human interactions between races/cultures/religions could be like that – happy, light and free. I’ve been in parts of the world, Indonesia included, where I’ve been called an American whore, or hissed at, or jeered at – and it’s all because I’m being linked to some bigger political bullshit that I want nothing to do with. I have found it extremely disturbing on occasions and sad on others, because the people doing the hissing and the jeering are as brainwashed and ignorant as the ones leading the charge. I hate this aspect of life today. There are places you cannot go without risk to your life because you are white. Being white links you to everything bad that the “West” is involved in today. It doesn’t matter that you do not agree with any of it – your face and your hair colour is enough for you to know you’re not welcome. It’s like we’re all being punished for the ignorance of our leaders… and I just want to explore this beautiful world. It pisses me off. I hope this hatred doesn’t get any worse (even though it has been getting worse since I started my travels 20 years ago) because if we can all meet people from other cultures and races, if we can start trying to understand where we’re all coming from by talking and listening to each other, and if we can try not to judge others for their values especially as we often don’t understand them anyway – well we’ve got an opportunity to heal and move forward in a happier way right? We constantly see it in the movies – the world is faced with annihilation, so we all come together and pray. Do we have to wait for that day? Can’t we just work at doing it now? I don’t liked getting hissed at and I’m certainly not an American whore. When I was called that, I didn’t even defend myself and say hey, I’m not even American, let alone a whore! Why? Because an American woman wouldn’t have deserved it either. The person who said this didn’t know, because he’s never sat down with an American woman and asked her what her life is all about, and she hasn’t done that with him either. Communication and listening both ways… that’s what it’s all about right? Are we ever going to learn? Because it’s so great when we do. I’ve found people from different backgrounds have mind-blowing perspectives on life, the sort that shift the earth beneath you when you hear them. I love having friends from all corners of the globe with different ways of looking at life – it truly has made my life richer and more interesting. So please, never be racist to me. I hate racism, in all its forms. I hate how people bunch a whole group of people up and describe them as one negative thing collectively. I hate how people listen to other people who’ve never been exposed to other races and take on their views. I hate seeing great people being hurt by racism. I hate what racism does to people – it makes them uglier inside and closes them off to new opportunities. Racism has no place in our world. It limits everyone it touches. It hurts too many people. It serves no purpose, other than encouraging ignorance. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone looked for the beauty within a person, no matter where they were from, how much money they had or what they looked like? That’s a world I want to see and I remain ever hopeful. In the meantime,