Who’s Watching “the Wedding?”

Royal Wedding season is in full swing. The protesters are petitioning for the right to protest, the Union Jack flags are up, the street parties are being organised, we haven’t seen Kate’s dress yet (but the excitement is mounting,) and the cynicism is flying around thick and fast. Every Pom I speak with tells me it’s all bullshit and they couldn’t think of anything worse, but I know they’ll all be secretly watching and loving it. The womenfolk will be fawning over pictures of “the frock” for months to come and we’ll know every detail, including how many silk worms went into creation of said frock. The designer of the dress will be set for life.

Hey it’s a spectacle. It’s about princes and princesses. It’s about fantasy. Whether you like it or not, people LOVE royal weddings and as this is William – the beloved, handsome and most similar son of the ‘Princess of Hearts’ – it’s going to be huge. Not to mention the UK could do with a bit of a morale boost right now, and royal weddings involving heirs to the throne usually achieve that. Also William’s got to get married soon, otherwise his hair will be gone and he won’t make such a handsome groom. Not that I think bald men are ugly of course, I have married one and I think he’s delicious.

Many people reading this might not remember Charles and Diana’s wedding, or maybe weren’t even born yet? Yikes. But I remember it. I was 11 and for this wee lass growing up in Wodonga, a country town in Victoria, Australia, it was an incredibly exciting and romantic time. We were even allowed to stay up late to watch it and the moment Diana got out of her carriage to reveal the much anticipated gown – well it was certainly an “ahhhhh” moment. We talked about it for months… I suppose we all fell in love with the whole idea of it…

I soon got over that though and rejected all things traditional when my time for wedded bliss arrived. Cosmos and sarongs were more my style. Not a “Muriel” moment was witnessed.

But Australians were enamoured with Diana and that fascination didn’t really waver over the years – especially where I grew up. Diana had a sister living on a farm in our area for a time, so they always came through Albury airport to visit. It was very exciting and Albury Wodonga made global front page news when William took his first steps in our community. We all felt bonded to them just a little bit because of that.

Considering all of the shit and horribleness that dogged Diana since that day, I have no idea why Kate would “choose” to become a part of the British Royal Family. I mean this girl is never going to know a moment’s peace. Everything she does, every gown she wears, the jewellery, the pensive looks, the charity projects, every minute mistake and faux pas… it will be scrutinized, scrutinized and scrutinized again. Not to mention the comparisons to Di? But then she seems to be getting along pretty well so far and the press have certainly been kinder to her, so let’s see how she goes? Maybe the press learnt their lesson?

I can’t imagine anyone wanting this life, but she’s decided she does and good luck to her and William. They’re a part of our lives now, whether we buy the gossip mags or not. I wonder what path they’ll follow – boring? Exciting? Adding a bit of sauce into our lives? We shall see.

So are we going to participate? Well Steve and I are thinking of buying tickets to a royal gala dinner being held at the British Club here in Singapore. We haven’t got the tickets yet, and it certainly might be too late (only one table left,) but we reckon it could be a hoot. We definitely need to get onto that because it could certainly be a memorable night AND you get a free souvenir cup, featuring the happy couple, to mark the occasion. Bargain. Anyone want to join us if tickets still available?

What are you going to do? Are you a derider that will watch it secretly? Or are you open about your love of such occasions? And please, don’t be telling me you won’t watch it, because you will – everyone with a TV will. It is going to clog up the airwaves for a few days – none can escape. I’ll watch it, unless of course the current movie of choice in our house, Ice Age 3, wins the TV wars.

The only thing I know for sure. Watching a royal wedding through the eyes of an 11 years old girl, versus the eyes of my unspecified current age will certainly make it less fantastical. I’ll make the most of it I’m sure.

Yours, without the bollocks

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