Andrea Edwards

I started playing around on Pinterest a couple of months ago, and I have to say: it’s MY cup of tea. I didn’t think any new social media platform could get my interest these days – with the plethora of latest and greatest competing for my attention – but this one definitely has. Considering how much time most of us already spend on social media, I am very impressed that it got my buy-in at all – and that really says a lot, because time is a valuable commodity in my life right now. One of the reasons I think it works for me – and its huge female demographic – is it’s a visual rather than text based platform. But I don’t know the science behind it, I just know I like it. I won’t go into the intricacies of how it works, and if you want to know, I can suggest this link, this linkand this linkto provide all of the suitable background to get going. Additionally, this linkwill give you some recent insight into the stats of Pinterest and with anywhere from 60-87 percent of the users female (the stats vary broadly), and more than 10 million users since 2010, it’s now the third most popular social media platform in the world. I’d suggest it’s definitely worth a look in, whether you are a participator or a voyeur. The simple fact is, go to www.pinterest.com, check it out, if you like the look of it, apply for an invitation and within a few days you’ll be going. However what I wanted to talk about today is the why and who – because some of my friends would really benefit from this, but it’s also an awesome platform for bloggers. On Sunday, I published “Some Crazy Stuff” about photo doctoring of the stars, and for the first time ever, I got more than 600 hits in one day on my blog – that’s a lot for me – and the majority came through Pinterest. So with ambitions to spread my blog to a wider audience, I can say it’s definitely helping me achieve my goal. BUT you must put a photo on every blog you want to pin – something you must do anyway if you want your blog to succeed. Getting into the specifics and hoping to save you some time, I’ve come up with a starting list of who will like it – here goes: If you’re a blogger (as I said above) and you want to share your words with a broader audience, then this is a great platform to do so If you’re in online publishing – in any industry – set yourself up on Pinterest. I’m seeing a rush in this field If you’re in the education field, check it out – apparently this is quite a hit with teachers – I’m not a teacher, so don’t understand exactly how, but worth looking into if you are a teacher. Here’s a link and another to give you some insight Babies, families, etc… there’s lots here for those in that category If you love fashion and being inspired by others’ ideas – male or female – it’s gold. Shoes, clothes, makeup, jewellery, gowns, hair, etc… A bit of a DIY junkie or love craft? That alone is one of the biggest reasons people use the site If you are a photographer or selling photography services – get going, but #tag your location if selling a service A very large part of Pinterest is focused on the Wedding industry – dresses, bridesmaid’s frocks, engagement rings, cakes, etc… definitely not for me, but lots of people do love this fairytale stuff If you love your books, music and movies, recommendations abound. The sci-fi/fantasy  books industry seems to be getting a lot of attention on Pinterest, which makes me happy If you’re into home renovations, want to make your home beautiful, spend time dreaming about your ideal home, or you’re an interior decorator – professional or amateur – it’s for you Anyone who loves food, cooking, recipes and setting a lovely table Travel and dreams – some will go, some will spend their life dreaming of going – either way, a perfect place to plan or dream Inspirational stuff – it abounds with quotes and cutesy images – in fact, most of the ones doing the rounds on Facebook these days must come from Pinterest. Humour, love, education, family, business – you name it, you’ll find a quote to suit your state of mind Art – whether you enjoy looking at it or enjoy doing it, this section is brilliant – in fact if you’re an artist, share your art on Pinterest and spread the word. Also if you’re looking for a new tattoo design, perfect place for ideas If you are a heterosexual woman or a gay man, there is plenty of eye candy to enjoy – feel free to follow my Hot Blokes pin. Straight boys and gay women, same can be said for hot women If you’re into spirituality or religion, and want to share your wisdom or contribute to the story, this is a great opportunity to influence beyond your circle A lot of the images inspire wonderful memories from life – for me it’s specific moments in time, especially around travel and I get to add my memories to someone else’s photo or image – that’s pretty sweet If you’re into architecture or design, this is for you If you want to be inspired to get off your arse and exercise – there’s plenty of hot and healthy bods to perv at, and ideas to get motivated If you like cute and cuddly or exotic animals – plenty to see here too Cars and motorbikes, gardening, history, prints & posters, technology, sports or products – there are sections on all I could go on and on and on…. Finally, the business opportunities on Pinterest are gradually being understood and there is advice

Many years ago I watched the movie “Rob Roy” and from that day I hoped I could find a man who was manly in all of the beautiful ways a man is manly, but capable of loving me with an open heart and strong enough to be my equal – because it certainly takes strength for a man to allow a woman to be his equal. It was a dream I held on to and believed in for many many years and I never gave up on the possibility, even when it looked like I’d be a spinster forever! On July 12th 2003, I walked into BQ Bar on Boat Quay, Singapore, and there he was at last. It was a magical night and it’s been magical ever since… with a couple of hiccups along the way. Our whirlwind romance was quickly followed with us agreeing to get married in Delhi 2004, an amazing and crazy wedding in Koh Samui, Thailand in 2005, two magnificent and exciting lads (2006 and 2008), three international moves (2009-2010), job security and job insecurity, challenges, laughs, and more adventures and life experiences than most people get in a lifetime – phew, it’s been exhausting! But it hasn’t all been smooth sailing and yet we remain happy as two pigs in shit most of the time. The reason I love Steve the most is because of his courage. Many years ago I understood that this is the quality I admire the most in people and it was essential in my future partner. I’m not talking about male warrior type of courage (although Steve has that in abundance) – I’m talking about heart courage. The courage to love deeply and with abandon. The courage to admire and respect the person you are with, because it is the togetherness and equality that brings out the best in both of you. The courage to laugh all the way from your boots, and to fight in the same way, with the ability to say sorry quickly and enjoy making up. The courage to be who you are, when all around you others struggle with their identity. The courage to love your children deeply, to be willing to sacrifice everything because their well-being is what matters most, and to show them that sensitivity in a man is absolutely fine. The courage to love and serve those important to you. The courage to be strong when the world seems to be beating you down. And the courage to be open to new ideas, new ways of thinking and the courage to forgive. Steve is that and more. He has taught me so much too – especially about love. He is an amazing person. He is an amazing husband. And the boys are so lucky to have such a beautiful Dad. Every day I feel grateful that I waited for my love and soul mate to arrive, because it is so special being married to such a beautiful, loving, caring, sensitive and masculine man. It is also very special parenting with a man of his qualities. On that soppy note, I want to wish my North, my South, my East, my West a VERY happy birthday, and I hope this year and all the ones that follow continue to be happy, content, peaceful and stress free – with a lot of abundance in the mix! I really am looking forward to walking along the beach when we’re old – you with your nut bra and me with my jugs banging against my knees. There’s an image! Do you know how fine you are to me Steve? With love and without the bollocks Andy

We all know that doctoring photos (or photo shopping) is part and parcel of the beauty industry. It’s been going on not only since the beginning of photography, but since the beginning of art and will continue to be a part of life, because it’s about fantasy and the unattainable. I get that side of it, I really do, but when Mamamia published these photos of models and other famous people, as well as these supermodel shots, I was really quite shocked by how far it is taken. I mean look at the supermodels in their swimsuits? Look at everyone’s blotchy and freckly skin – see nothing to be ashamed of if you’re freckly! Boobs and cleavages are much bigger – or smaller – than reality. Madonna thankfully looks her age. Twiggy’s photo is just dishonest. Cameron looks great before and after so why change it? Then look at Kim Kardashians’ significantly smaller waist? And why the hell would they reduce Jennifer Love Hewitts’ very sexy and impressive boobs? That’s just criminal. Is there something wrong with having sexy, big boobs? Doctoring photos to perfection isn’t going away – you just have to witness the poisonous vitriol that comes as a result of +size model shows – people don’t want to see imperfection. Not to mention those +size models are typically sizes 10-12 anyway – if anyone can tell me on what parallel universe that’s considered +size, I’d love to know!! The reality is we want to see perfection in our stars. When we look at photos of our idols or those we admire, we don’t want to see that they’re just like us. The problem with this culture is consequences – millions of women (and men) all over the world destroying their bodies and their lives to achieve something that is obviously unattainable. I wonder if humanity will ever progress beyond this point? I wonder if humanity as a whole will ever discover that beauty truly is within? Many a time I am without hope as we continue to live in a cage of myth! Happy Sunday my beauties. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I’ve just finished reading “A Dance with Dragons” and, like the previous books in the series, it was brilliant – gritty, devious, heroic, fantastical, compelling, page-turning, crude, sexy… you get the gist. No one does fantasy quite like you, that’s for sure. It was also nice to have Tyrion back in the story, as well as Jon, Daenerys and the little updates on Bran (who I’m most curious about), as well as a host of other great characters. A sign of a truly great fantasy is missing the characters after you finish the book and I miss them dearly. This is why I wanted to write to you. WHEN is the next book coming out? When youfinished “A Feast for Crows” in 2005, you promised we’d get our fix of the rest of the characters next year – which I took to be 2006. Well here we are in 2012 and I’ve just read it. Now I appreciate it was published in 2011, but I actually waited until the soft copy came out, because I’d waited so long already, why rush out to purchase the hard cover version, which is painful to read? When I read hard cover books, it hurts my wrists holding the big tomes open, and my body as the sharp corners poke into my skin when reading in bed. Now you are an author of a calibre that I always buy in hard cover – pain and all – but not for this one… maybe for the next? Depends on when you publish it I suppose. Understand that I am not being critical here, because I appreciate you have been a very busy man creating HBO’s “Game of Thrones” and well done on that. Not only have you given me an interpretation of the story different to my own imagination – and luckily I like your interpretation – but you have made fantasy appealing to a much broader demographic than before. I’ve been banging on at people for years about getting into fantasy, and every time I twist someone’s arm and they indulge, they are forever grateful I got them onto it – my husband is on that grateful list. So I believe you have done this on a much broader scale, which is a wonderful thing for writers of fantasy, and I’m also hoping it will create new fantasy writing talent for all of us to enjoy. I am an avid fantasy reader, often consuming book after book after book for months on end. Sometimes I have to force myself to take a break and read something more “serious,” but it’s not long before I re-indulge in my fantasy addiction – hey, there are worse things I could be addicted to? My Dad got me onto fantasy more than 30 years ago, and I see it as one of his great gifts in my life – I love it and I love how it drives my imagination. Suffice to say I am a huge fan of your work and you are definitely one of my favourite fantasy writers. But please, all I ask is don’t take too long to publish the next book? I don’t want to forget the story by the time it comes out – as I did with the last one and I had to re-read “A Feast for Crows” but I forgot the story before that too… One day I’ll read them all again. In closing off, I felt compelled to ask you, on behalf of your adoring fans who have been with you since the beginning, please get that next bloody book out ASAP OK? Have we got a deal? Keep up the amazing work. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

So after more than a month of having both boys at home, it was Jax’s turn to start his new school today – it’s attached to Lex’s so they can continue to be together. The decision to move Jax to a new school has honestly been the hardest we’ve ever had to make, because he was so happy at his old one. He adored his teacher, had a gaggle of best mates, a couple of girlfriends, and it was never a problem dropping him off – he loved it. On another level, the decision was also hard because I worry this could be the one to knock that beautiful, swaggering confidence out of him… a quality we treasure because it is essential armour for taking on the world. Everyone says kids are adaptable, kids love change, etc, etc, etc… and I see it with my boys all the time – they’re much cooler than Mum and Dad when it comes to taking on new challenges. But it didn’t make it easy today; handing him over into new hands and having him cling because he was feeling “shy.” Bless his cotton socks. There are some practical reasons for making this decision – for example dropping them off at two schools on opposite sides of the island would have been impossible, but we would have done it. However, the reason we had to do it is because when a school gives up on one child, how can you trust them with your other child’s welfare? We tried to get our mindset back into a trusting mode, but we just couldn’t with the management of the previous school. How long until Jax was also “too much trouble?” No, it could never be the same again and that is why we had to make the decision to change his school as well. When we dropped Lex off last week I was able to hold it together until he went in. With Jax I was a mess before I even said goodbye – Steve at least waited until after we left. It was awful seeing him so uncomfortable, but there is one thing I know for sure. At 3pm today, when I go and collect him, he will have been absolutely cool as a cucumber, charming the teacher, making new friends, and finding his groove – because that is what Jax does. He’s an amazing little man, we absolutely adore him, and now I’m just really looking forward to giving our lads a few uninterrupted years of peace and hopefully, minimal change. That is our greatest desire right now – peace and serenity for all of us. Ahhh seriously, kids – cost you a fortune and break your heart as Steve likes to say! We often wonder why we did it, but life wouldn’t be as bright without my little lads in it, because they are brilliant kids. With that said, I can honestly say I never knew it was going to be so hard! Since bringing them into the world, it feels like my heart is ripped out of my body everyday as I endure every second of their pain… As you can imagine, I’m expecting a glum day until I can see their smiling faces again at 3pm. I know they’ll be fine, I know we’ll be fine, I just wish all of us could find our groove again, and resume living with lighter hearts. That’s really all we want. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea 

Steve and I are back from dropping Lex off at his new school – Excelerate – and our little love walked in without even turning back – which was a relief – but it still left Steve and I in tears. It’s emotionally intense stuff this parenting job, but especially so when you have a little lad with special needs right now and a traditional education system that doesn’t want to support those needs. When Lex was kicked out of his school and we started our school hunt, we were left with two choices – mainstream, where we’d probably face the same shite again, or pure special needs, something we know would make Lex intensely unhappy. He’s not a special needs kids, he’s just got some special needs right now, and those needs are very specific. We think we’ve found it – the only place in Singapore run by speech and occupational therapists – designed to help kids like Lex catch up with their speech, learn how to manage their emotions in an appropriate way, and at the end of it, he graduates and there’s no more bollocks going into mainstream. He’ll just be like any other five year old kid having a bad day sometimes. The last few months have been intensely challenging, because we wanted to find a place that was going to work for him but everywhere we went, we knew it wasn’t right. We needed an option in the middle and somehow (thanks to Google) we came across Excelerate and knew this was our middle ground. It’s a system that helps each child individually, with the aim that when they graduate, they’re ready for mainstream education. We know Lex is going to thrive – he’s working so bloody hard to speak, and his emotional outbursts are less and less – so now we just hope he enjoys it enough to want to go every day. We need this to work. We want to be able to talk to our darling boy and hear what he has to say. We need to be able to reason with him and we can’t do that if he doesn’t understand us. We need him to fit into the normal world as much as he can and not suffer any more bollocks. We need him to be able to communicate verbally because the world is not designed for people who communicate in any other way. We need him to be happy and confident in himself so he can get out there and take on the world. We need him to catch up now because soon kids his age will start laughing at him, and our sensitive little man will take that to heart – we need to protect him from that and the only way we can is to help him to speak. We just need him to be OK and happy and confident. That’s all we want. This chapter in Lex’s life has been so bloody hard. He’s such a sweetheart, and in the long run, we know he’s going to be absolutely fine, but having faced so many setbacks along the way (Lex and us as a family)we have everything crossed that this is it. The problem is it’s hard having confidence in your decisions when it comes to kids like Lex because, 1. so many of the decisions we’ve made don’t appear to be the “right” ones, and 2. There’s no one to give you any decent guidance to help you make the right choices. Oh there are plenty of people who have opinions, but no one who really knows what we’re dealing with.  So today we hope this is the right decision – the decision that is going to help him move forward and as a result, give our whole family some peace of mind. We’ve just got everything crossed that this is it, because I don’t know how much more disruption and change we can deal with, and I certainly cannot take another rejection when it comes to Lex. I know he hasn’t been easy, but all he needs is time and patience now – please let this be the right decision? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

My little angels So after a two week school closure due to an outbreak of hand, foot and mouth disease (which neither of the boys got, but they’ve both had it and it’s a little bit of hell), which overlapped into two weeks of school holidays, all mixed in with Steve and I trying to earn a crust working from home, I have to say that we are all ready for the boys to go back to school because bloody hell, my boys can be annoying. Thankfully Vick has been a legend, taking our loves out on adventures so we can focus, but guilt doesn’t allow this to happen every day, and even though we have reliable and loving back-up, they have an amazing talent for annoying the hell out of me. Some of the “pleasures” of having children include: I’m always tripping over the little buggers as they wander aimlessly around – rarely aware of anyone else in their world. They just haven’t developed awareness of others’ needs yet – it will come When a door opens inwards – as our current front door does – it’s impossible to get out with two boys lined up eagerly on their scooters to make a dash for freedom – will you just bloody MOVE so we can get out!! Fighting over which seat they get in the car, usually ends in fist-i-cuffs – for god’s sake, it doesn’t matter which bloody seat you sit in, just get in the bloody car and while you’re at it, put your own bloody scooters in the boot!! Oh the tears and gnashing of teeth. The thing is, when I was a kid we used to fight over the front seat, but that’s because the rest of us had to sit on a corrugated metal slab (aka a ute) in the back of the family Datsun and that was definitely a fight worth winning DVD negotiations. I went DVD shopping with my great friend Carina and her little love Adam recently. He chose his DVD and was happy – the blessings of a single child. My boys had to negotiate and cajole and argue and fight and cry and Lex still won, as Tom & Jerry has been the most desired entertainment of late. A five minute job DVD shopping is not… They hurt you all the time – not intentionally, but getting smacked in the face with a car, or elbows in your back, or a groin injury somehow (as Steve experienced), or kicked, or punched, or a finger in your eye, or something in your ear, or a scooter in your achilles tendons, or stepping on a piece of toy with a sharp pointy bit…. ahhhhhh leave me a-bloody-lone for a minute and stop bloody hurting me Every day the boys go out on adventures all over Singapore as we want them to be active and not get bored. It’s hot and hard work BUT my least favourite bit is public toilets. Jax loves to take his time, so sitting in a hot and sweaty toilet, with NO air circulating, while he enjoys his 30 minute ablutions is not my idea of pleasure. They also both want to explore everything they see, and all I can say is this need to explore in a public toilet revolts me. The other challenge is they’re still of an age where many of their body parts actually connect with toilets, so I am always desperate to get them clean and out… many a person has heard me pleading, cajoling and rushing my kids when visiting public toilets around Singapore As with toilets, the need to touch is applied everywhere – it seems they are unable to experience something without touching it – they can’t just look, oh no no no, and if I’ve said “look with your eyes not with your hands” once, I’ve said it a thousand times, no probably a million times…. this too shall pass… They’re getting really good at “I want” these days and the wanting never stops. I admit that my boys are spoilt (in a lot of ways, including spoilt with our time) but they also do very well on the new toy front, especially as there are no grandparents around to do this job. However, when they are putting forward “wants” before they even open or play with the last thing they wanted, all I can say is grrrrrrrr All parents suffer sleep deprivation, it comes with the job. Some kids sleep more than others and Jax would definitely sleep a whole lot more if his big brother let him. The problem is when they don’t sleep enough, they are miserable by the end of the day and I just want to scream at them to bloody-well sleep more and you won’t be such an emotional mess by the end of the day!!! One day I won’t be able to get them out of bed Who knew that four and five year olds knew so much, I mean they are right about every bloody thing and will argue ‘til the cows come home? So that is something else that annoys the hell out of me – dealing with argumentative little tots every single day With all that said, my boys are exciting and electrifying and excited by life, and I wouldn’t be without them because I adore them, but bloody hell, kids can be really really annoying, and those 10 annoying habits are only the tip of the iceberg. Soon I’ll be annoying the hell out of them I expect, so perhaps I’ll get a bit of my own back? Anyone else like to share the annoying habits of their children? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

One thing I know above all else is that my life has been one long roller coaster ride. That is definitely not always a bad thing, but sometimes it wears you out. I’ve moved more times than I can count, and that includes moving countries seven times – exciting if you’ve never done it – but it can be very very exhausting too, on many levels. The great part about this moving lifestyle is that I’ve met wonderful people all over the world, many who remain fantastic friends. That is the greatest joy I’ve known in my life – people from all walks of life. However, in the last three and a half years, my roller coaster has been Queensland’s Towerof Terror II – originally the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world when it was launched – I think the Yanks superseded it. Most people have a plan, a place where they belong, a place they want to end up, and I think that’s absolutely wonderful. But I don’t, and neither does Steve. We’re not anchored anywhere, so when the GFC hit us in 2009 and Steve’s job went with it, we said where the hell do we go now? We went to Phuket – it didn’t work. We went to Australia – it didn’t work either. After a lot of hullabaloo, we knew we had to come back and make Singapore work. We love it here, we have amazing friends, it’s exciting in Singapore, and we want to make it our long term home. It’s a perfect place for a family and for business. A significant change of focus in recent months is Steve’s decision to find a job because a secure income means more ease in our life – ease is a priority for us right now. Also as Steve’s industry pays double my industry, it made sense it was him. The problem is, Singapore is not a good place for his sector anymore, as many of the companies relevant to him put headquarters in other parts of Asia. But he hasn’t just been looking in his industry, because while his experience is unique, his skills are relevant across a lot of industries, many with headquarters in Singapore. So a call comes in last week – a great job, one that got Steve very excited, but we’d have to move to Bangkok. No babe, I say, we need to stay here and we need Lex to do his term at the new specialist school we’ve got him enrolled in so we have no more issues there. It’s a speech, OT, behavioural therapy school and within a short period of time, Lex will come out the other end, ready for mainstream education, no more problems. It’s really important for all of us and it’s something I need to happen. Lex has to be our priority right now. Steve does some research, finds an equivalent school in Bangkok, so that’s covered. I start changing my mind. We’ve also got some great friends in Bangkok, we love the city and the country, the boys are old enough to live in a place like that, and as I write for a living, I can be anywhere and Bangkok in particular is good for me…. OK let’s stay open. I can do that. I’ve done it so many times, I know that whatever we decide, we’ll be OK – eventually. The problem is, once you start considering an international move, your whole mind goes through a massive process about what’s good about where you’re planning to go, what’s bad, how you can make it work, etc… I mean Bangkok would have language challenges and simple stuff like calling a cab or sorting a phone line would be a nightmare. You can’t drink water out of a tap. The air isn’t clean like in Singapore. You need to protect yourself from things like malaria and that means DEET on my boy’s bodies every day. But it’s also a really exciting city – one of the most exciting cities in the world – and it’s always happening. What an opportunity for all of us? What a childhood experience to offer my boys? BUT there’s another aspect to my head this last week – as part of the thought process, you also have to think about why it’s OK to leave where you are. It really does put your mind in a mess, because you’re constantly switching back and forth between the pros and cons for both places….   The job ended up being filled internally, but Steve is still talking to this company and thankfully the HQ is in Singapore. He’s excited about the potential, because it’s a really interesting field for him – something completely different and potentially a great career move. So if the call comes in and we have to make a move, we’ll probably go – hell I’d go just to see Steve with a skip in his step again and as my work is completely flexible, I am in a unique position to support my husband while chasing my own dreams. BUT my darling, not India, not yet. The boys are just too young for me to do India right now. In the meantime, if anyone knows of anyone looking for a senior and very experienced sales/marketing/bizdev person, with excellent sales and presentation training skills, based in Singapore, let us know. We really do want to stay! I just want to metaphorically get off the Tower of Terror II and drink cocktails by a pool for a while… Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Continuing with my motherhood lessons – and this one applies to any parent with crazy, active, non-stop, turn-your-hair-grey-kind-of-kids – is to have faith that one day it will just stop. My kids certainly aren’t miraculously docile all of a sudden, oh no no no, so maybe I’m more relaxed because I’ve stopped caring so much and can let them be? Or maybe, just maybe, I know I can trust them more because they’re growing up and have shown me they have earned that trust – including more awareness of personal safety? I definitely think it’s the latter, and while I’m never blasé about my kids safety, it’s certainly nice to be a bit more chilled when I’m out with them- even if I run things like a military campaign sometimes…. This epiphany occurred on the weekend when I was at a kid’s birthday party. All of the kids were going nuts, while the parents got to enjoy a glass of champagne and the opportunity to chat. Naturally it helped that the party was in a big function room, so kids were within view – although it certainly got hairy on the bouncy castle a couple of times, with my boys center of the action. The parents I’m meeting through the boy’s school are lovely, so birthday parties have actually become a real pleasure to go to, and I’m getting to know a whole new and diverse bunch of people. It’s great. However, there was one Mum I didn’t speak to. When I saw her at school after the party I said we didn’t get to speak, but then you’re still at the phase of constant vigilance right? Right indeed. Her little lad is just over one and he’s all movement and curiosity. He’s the sort you can never EVER take your eyes off, because you just don’t know where he’s going to turn up – probably at the champagne bucket if he’s like my lads. It’s intense stuff when your kids go through this phase, because they couldn’t give a crap about anyone else – it’s just them and the world at this age. This Mum had the typical harried look I know so well, but for the first time in five years, I realised I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not frantic all the time, wondering if one of mine is going to fall off a roof, or bounce out of the castle, or drink champagne, or whatever it is they bloody used to get up to. They want to hang out with the other kids and play. It’s AWESOME! And so my lesson learnt is this – whatever it is your kids are doing that is driving you nuts right now – it will stop. Of course they’ll probably start doing something else that will annoy the hell out of you, but for me it sure is nice being able to have adult conversations again. I really missed that. For those parents who continue enjoying adult conversations without interruption when kids came along, you are very very lucky bastards. I know you exist, because you are the parents who used to try and talk to me during the last five years when I was constantly running off to sort something out, coming back to say “so where were we?” Not that any of us ever remembered…. Mothering certainly destroys the brain! Phases in childhood are never ending, but I do take a lot of solace from the fact that they stop, you get a few minutes, weeks or months of peace, and then you’re back in the trenches again, tearing your hair out. Remind me why we actually choose to have kids again? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Steve was out the other night and I decided a chick flick was in order, so bring on “ShirleyValentine.” I saw this movie when it first came out back in 1989 and I will always remember it because it made me cry – A LOT! It also made me vow to never EVER be a housewife, nor would I live with regrets, and I was going to live life hard. The weird thing about watching it this time is I am now 42, which is the age of Shirley in the film. Crikey when did that happen? And in the film she reckons that’s middle aged – I don’t feel middle aged – am I middle aged? In one scene Shirley asks: “Why do we get all this life if we don’t live it? She then goes on to say: “I’ve allowed myself to live this little life, and now it’s all un-used and never will be. Why do we get all these feelings and dreams and hopes if we don’t ever use them? Shirley Valentine, she got lost in all this unused life…” I reckon I’ve “used” my life well to date (with only a very tiny chapter as a house wife, which I hated), and while it hasn’t always been an easy journey, I can say it’s been well lived and I plan to keep on living it until the end. I always find this movie a great reminder on living and loving life, in whatever way makes you happy. It was also a really good reminder for me as life has been a bit grim on a couple of fronts of late. But I know that it’s about how I get up and make life happen for me and my family every day, because no matter what, this too shall pass right? That’s a phrase I’ve used a lot in recent years (thanks to my great friends Reema and Gautam) but it is so true. Whatever situation I am in, or you are in, if it’s shit, it’ll pass and then you’ll be onto the next phase or opportunity or challenge. I just work hard to make sure that my attitude is as positive as it can be, because it makes everything better. I can’t be positive all the time though, and when that happens, I just hope it passes quickly, because being a miserable cow is not my style at all. On a final note, Costas, the Greek dude she shags (“he kissed my stretch marks!”) probably has one of the best lines in the film. After moving Shirley’s table and chair to the beach to make one of her dreams come true, and she realises it’s not as good as she hoped it would be, he says “dreams are never in the place you expect them to be.” So true, so so true. Anyways, a great story, a great film, an inspiring message, and a story about it never being too late to get unstuck from a life that makes you unhappy. Feelings and dreams and hopes should definitely be pursued with vigour, even when success feels impossible – I reckon anyway. What do you think? Have you seen it? Or any other movies you can recommend that rocked your world? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea