So after more than a month of having both boys at home, it was Jax’s turn to start his new school today – it’s attached to Lex’s so they can continue to be together. The decision to move Jax to a new school has honestly been the hardest we’ve ever had to make, because he was so happy at his old one. He adored his teacher, had a gaggle of best mates, a couple of girlfriends, and it was never a problem dropping him off – he loved it. On another level, the decision was also hard because I worry this could be the one to knock that beautiful, swaggering confidence out of him… a quality we treasure because it is essential armour for taking on the world.
Everyone says kids are adaptable, kids love change, etc, etc, etc… and I see it with my boys all the time – they’re much cooler than Mum and Dad when it comes to taking on new challenges. But it didn’t make it easy today; handing him over into new hands and having him cling because he was feeling “shy.” Bless his cotton socks.
There are some practical reasons for making this decision – for example dropping them off at two schools on opposite sides of the island would have been impossible, but we would have done it. However, the reason we had to do it is because when a school gives up on one child, how can you trust them with your other child’s welfare? We tried to get our mindset back into a trusting mode, but we just couldn’t with the management of the previous school. How long until Jax was also “too much trouble?” No, it could never be the same again and that is why we had to make the decision to change his school as well.
When we dropped Lex off last week I was able to hold it together until he went in. With Jax I was a mess before I even said goodbye – Steve at least waited until after we left. It was awful seeing him so uncomfortable, but there is one thing I know for sure. At 3pm today, when I go and collect him, he will have been absolutely cool as a cucumber, charming the teacher, making new friends, and finding his groove – because that is what Jax does. He’s an amazing little man, we absolutely adore him, and now I’m just really looking forward to giving our lads a few uninterrupted years of peace and hopefully, minimal change. That is our greatest desire right now – peace and serenity for all of us.
Ahhh seriously, kids – cost you a fortune and break your heart as Steve likes to say! We often wonder why we did it, but life wouldn’t be as bright without my little lads in it, because they are brilliant kids. With that said, I can honestly say I never knew it was going to be so hard! Since bringing them into the world, it feels like my heart is ripped out of my body everyday as I endure every second of their pain…
As you can imagine, I’m expecting a glum day until I can see their smiling faces again at 3pm. I know they’ll be fine, I know we’ll be fine, I just wish all of us could find our groove again, and resume living with lighter hearts. That’s really all we want.
Yours, without the bollocks