10 Ways Small Kids Can be Bloody Annoying

My little angels

So after a two week school closure due to an outbreak of hand, foot and mouth disease (which neither of the boys got, but they’ve both had it and it’s a little bit of hell), which overlapped into two weeks of school holidays, all mixed in with Steve and I trying to earn a crust working from home, I have to say that we are all ready for the boys to go back to school because bloody hell, my boys can be annoying. Thankfully Vick has been a legend, taking our loves out on adventures so we can focus, but guilt doesn’t allow this to happen every day, and even though we have reliable and loving back-up, they have an amazing talent for annoying the hell out of me.

Some of the “pleasures” of having children include:
  1. I’m always tripping over the little buggers as they wander aimlessly around – rarely aware of anyone else in their world. They just haven’t developed awareness of others’ needs yet – it will come
  2. When a door opens inwards – as our current front door does – it’s impossible to get out with two boys lined up eagerly on their scooters to make a dash for freedom – will you just bloody MOVE so we can get out!!
  3. Fighting over which seat they get in the car, usually ends in fist-i-cuffs – for god’s sake, it doesn’t matter which bloody seat you sit in, just get in the bloody car and while you’re at it, put your own bloody scooters in the boot!! Oh the tears and gnashing of teeth. The thing is, when I was a kid we used to fight over the front seat, but that’s because the rest of us had to sit on a corrugated metal slab (aka a ute) in the back of the family Datsun and that was definitely a fight worth winning
  4. DVD negotiations. I went DVD shopping with my great friend Carina and her little love Adam recently. He chose his DVD and was happy – the blessings of a single child. My boys had to negotiate and cajole and argue and fight and cry and Lex still won, as Tom & Jerry has been the most desired entertainment of late. A five minute job DVD shopping is not…
  5. They hurt you all the time – not intentionally, but getting smacked in the face with a car, or elbows in your back, or a groin injury somehow (as Steve experienced), or kicked, or punched, or a finger in your eye, or something in your ear, or a scooter in your achilles tendons, or stepping on a piece of toy with a sharp pointy bit…. ahhhhhh leave me a-bloody-lone for a minute and stop bloody hurting me
  6. Every day the boys go out on adventures all over Singapore as we want them to be active and not get bored. It’s hot and hard work BUT my least favourite bit is public toilets. Jax loves to take his time, so sitting in a hot and sweaty toilet, with NO air circulating, while he enjoys his 30 minute ablutions is not my idea of pleasure. They also both want to explore everything they see, and all I can say is this need to explore in a public toilet revolts me. The other challenge is they’re still of an age where many of their body parts actually connect with toilets, so I am always desperate to get them clean and out… many a person has heard me pleading, cajoling and rushing my kids when visiting public toilets around Singapore
  7. As with toilets, the need to touch is applied everywhere – it seems they are unable to experience something without touching it – they can’t just look, oh no no no, and if I’ve said “look with your eyes not with your hands” once, I’ve said it a thousand times, no probably a million times…. this too shall pass…
  8. They’re getting really good at “I want” these days and the wanting never stops. I admit that my boys are spoilt (in a lot of ways, including spoilt with our time) but they also do very well on the new toy front, especially as there are no grandparents around to do this job. However, when they are putting forward “wants” before they even open or play with the last thing they wanted, all I can say is grrrrrrrr
  9. All parents suffer sleep deprivation, it comes with the job. Some kids sleep more than others and Jax would definitely sleep a whole lot more if his big brother let him. The problem is when they don’t sleep enough, they are miserable by the end of the day and I just want to scream at them to bloody-well sleep more and you won’t be such an emotional mess by the end of the day!!! One day I won’t be able to get them out of bed
  10. Who knew that four and five year olds knew so much, I mean they are right about every bloody thing and will argue ‘til the cows come home? So that is something else that annoys the hell out of me – dealing with argumentative little tots every single day

With all that said, my boys are exciting and electrifying and excited by life, and I wouldn’t be without them because I adore them, but bloody hell, kids can be really really annoying, and those 10 annoying habits are only the tip of the iceberg. Soon I’ll be annoying the hell out of them I expect, so perhaps I’ll get a bit of my own back?

Anyone else like to share the annoying habits of their children?

Yours, without the bollocks

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