Andrea Edwards

It’s that time of year, when the ghosts come out to play and everywhere you look are shrines, burning effigies, food, celebrations and more. I love this month because it’s fascinating, and if you’re interested, I did a blog on it 12months ago to give it a bit of context. If you drive around the streets of Singapore in the early evening at the moment, you’ll see lots of people out burning offerings, although some nights are more active than others. I had to do a burning ritual once to get rid of my own ghost, and I have to admit, it felt very weird doing this in public when everyone was watching me. However, no one thought I was weird, because in Singapore, it’s completely normal. As part of my desire to educate the boys in all things this magnificent world has to offer, I decided to take them down to the shrine that has been set up in our basement car park for the duration of Hungry Ghost Month. As with last year, the chuppa chups were there again, as well as lots of other goodies to tempt the boys – including soggy biscuits. We headed down after I gave the boys very clear instructions not to touch ANYTHING – especially the sweets – but man oh man; it’s hard instilling in them the need to respect shrines. There are always shrines in Singapore, in all sorts of weird and wonderful places, but the boys must understand it is very disrespectful to touch them. I’m working hard at training them, but man oh man they do my head in sometimes… well, a lot of the time really. The good news is, according to this article, young people are embracing the traditions of Hungry Ghost Month again, and people have better health during both Hungry Ghost Month and Ramadan. Also, if you would like to know more about the taboo’s during Hungry Ghost Month, this article covers it all – I just find it all very fascinating! One of the things the boys love about the shrines is the chance to play with fire. At least this is something they can do, as lighting incense to honour ancestors is welcome. They don’t get the full meaning yet, but I’m working at it. Here are a couple of pics of my little pyromaniacs Jax enamoured by fire Lex gets in on the action Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Image courtesy of www.oldtimecandy.com One of the first things people say the minute I tell them I live in Singapore is – but you can’t chew gum! It’s amazing, it happens every single time (like it’s important or something), and then of course, they wax lyrical about how clean it is here – even if they’ve never visited. Singapore is very clean I admit, but it’s not as clean as everyone seems to think – and I should know, I’ve explored all sorts of nooks and crannies in this great City with my little guys. Getting back to chewing gum. I seem to have inherited a disorder I’d like to call “don’t fucken chew gum within earshot of me because I’ll definitely have to kill you.” It appears I have inherited this gene from my mother, because she used to go nuts when any of us chewed gum within ear shot of her. This disorder’s symptoms include an absolute irritable need to climb a wall whenever you hear anyone smacking away on gum close by.  When facing prolonged exposure, the feeling of irritation gets so strong, you feel like the inside bits of your body need to move onto the outside. It’s bloody awful, and once, when flying from Hong Kong to Rome, I had a woman sitting next to me chew gum the entire flight – my stomach still clenches up at that memory.  I can’t explain it, it is what it is, so to my dear friends be warned – I will rarely make a fuss about it, because it feels rude to do so, but I will definitely do everything I can to get away from you. Essentially if you do feel the need to chew gum and want my company, either spit it out or piss off well out of ear shot. Don’t get me wrong, I loved having a big wad of cheek bursting Hubba Bubba bubble gum in my mouth as a teenager, and another friend reminded me recently how I used to go through two packs of Extra a day at work in my early 20’s. However, I officially stopped chewing gum when I had to wear a dental plate, because chewing gum and a plate are not a good combination. It takes ages to get the chewing gum off the plate let me assure you. Steve told me, long after we met, that he stopped chewing gum the minute he knew about my “disorder.” Prior to this, he was addicted. Bless his cotton socks – that’s love. So for me, living in Singapore is living in paradise. I rarely encounter anyone chewing gum, and even though it is legal to get gum on prescription and most people bring it back into the country every chance they get, no, I don’t need to suffer that lip smacking sound on a daily basis. It’s absolute bliss for a person like me, so when people say but you can’t chew gum? I say isn’t that fucken brilliant? Not to mention, you never have to clean gum off your shoes, nor is there any risk my boys will pick up and consume a stray bit of used gum stuck to the pavement. Excellent. I don’t know why I got this thing, but that saliva smacking sound from another person chewing gum sends me into apoplexy. Anyone else suffer from the “don’t fucken chew gum within earshot of me because I’ll definitely have to kill you” disorder? I’d like to know I’m not alone in this… Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Well it’s all over. I stretched it out as long as I could, only finishing the last hour of the closing ceremony last night, and it’s been bloody brilliant – although I’m definitely looking forward to a few early nights. Nothing gets the emotions more stirred up than watching people being the best they can be in whatever field they choose. I know some of my US friends thought the opening and closing ceremonies were a bit weak, but I thought both were brilliant – celebrating everything great about the UK, but most importantly, celebrating the amazing musical icons to come out of that country. It was lovely to see Queen being honoured and Annie Lenox as well – a phenomenal woman. George Michael – well one song would’ve been enough – but after his near-death experience a while back, it was cool to see him too – definitely a big part of my teenager years. I found both ceremonies a bit eccentric like only the Brits can do – and I’ve got to say, eccentric is good.  Photo of Sanya Richards Ross With that said, there has been a lot of criticism about the models being part of the closing ceremony. I am in two minds about it I have to say. On the one hand, I really appreciate the negative feedback about the anorexic, drug taking, (and in one case, violent) models being part of a show celebrating everything healthy about the human form, but on the other, these models have succeeded on the world stage and it was an opportunity to showcase Britain’s world-class designers too.  I suppose I just didn’t get my knickers in a knot about them being part of the show. I was pretty disappointed to read about the Belarusianfemale shot-putter being disqualified for drugs, and while it’s bloody awesome Kiwi-gal Valerie Adams now claims the gold, I am absolutely gutted for her that she didn’t get to stand on the middle podium and experience that victory live. Instead, she found out about her gold medal while driving in a car. How bloody disappointing must that be? There are claims up to 60 percent of Olympic athletes take performance enhancing drugs – which I can’t see changing anytime soon – BUT when it impacts people like this, well that just makes me sad. Talking about female athletes, for the first time, the US females outnumbered the men AND more than 60 percent of US Golds were won by women – cracking stuff. I reckon if I was a lesbian, I’d be a groupie for the US women’s athletics team. There are some foxy sheilas in this team, Allyson Felix is one, but the sexiest by far is Sanya Richards-Ross– she always looked so stylish with those funky armbands, and for as long as I can remember, Black American women have made athletics sexy. But it’s done. The global sporting fiesta that celebrates all that is good about humankind is over for another four years. I’ve loved every minute of it, as I’ve always done, and while many believe Australia had a bad Olympics, those Silver and Bronze medal winners might get the accolades they deserve? My country certainly couldn’t have gained 10thposition on the medal tables without the 16 Silver and 12 Bronze to back it up that’s for sure. But I don’t care about the medals – anyone who earns the right to get into the Olympics is already a champion in my mind. Anyways, it’s left me inspired to be the best I can be, and that’s the goal of it right?  Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I caught a bit of the Synchronized Swimming this week – I can’t tell you the last time I watched it. Like most gals, I spent a fair amount of time in the backyard pool practising my synchro moves with my sister, and like most people, a fair bit of time scoffing at its claim of being a “sport.” But it is a sport in my mind now, and after watching both the doubles and the team efforts – CRIKEY it looks bloody hard!! The Russians are the Queens of the sport without question, with the Spanish delivering very entertaining and dramatic performances, but the Chinese girls too – very good.  The Russian Champs in the Double Photo courtesy of www.london2012.comsynchronized-swimming Some observations: It must be a really really challenging sport to get good at, because you’ve got to spend a lot of time under the water, upside down, practising your moves. I mean, you can imagine the hours a swimmer does in the early mornings and evenings swimming back and forth, or the cyclist riding miles and miles every day, but a synchronized swimmer has a whole different kind of tedium to get through to be the best These girls have the best swimsuits in the world BY FAR! I’ve never seen so much glitz and glam on a bathing suit in my life – not to mention the head caps and dramatic make-up – which is apparently done boldly in an effort to ensure those in the back row can see it The smiles – have you ever seen anything like it? They must get jaw cramp pulling those off in every performance These gals are slender, which isn’t surprising considering the physical effort required to do their moves, but there wasn’t a chubby checker in site. It’s a whole different kind of physique when compared to just about any other sport in the Olympics, and as opposite as one can be to the 75+ kilo women’s weightlifters It must be a weird kind of sport when most of the photos taken in your prime are with a nose peg on. I obviously understand the need for one, and nose pegs have come a long way over the years, but it is a strange thing to look at If not already, the makers of eye drops should be sponsoring the hell out of this sport. No goggles are allowed and they certainly can’t do it with their eyes closed. I can only imagine the state of the girl’s eyes after every practise session. That mustn’t be  much fun There are officially only two female only sports at the Olympics these days – Synchronized Swimming  and Rhythmic Gymnastics. Softball was in for a while but then out again. Netball has never made the cut – which is a shame as Australia or NZ would win that! In fact, this Wiki page discusses the Olympics and women, which is a bit of a sober read I have to say. Surely with more women than men in some of the dominant teams these days we can start seeing some real change? Is sport really going to remain a bastion of sexism? Well Women Boxing is finally included, but I reckon we’ve all got to keep fighting for the sisterhood to ensure any great woman – with the heart to compete for an Olympic medal – has the bloody chance to do it. I definitely don’t agree with this article (written after the Beijing Olympics) that both Synchronized Swimming and Rhythmic Gymnastics should be out. Sure it’s a little bit different to the other Olympic sports, but for the sake of the girls who take it seriously, they should hold onto the chance to compete at Olympic level. Let’s fight for more equality in all sports, but let’s not do that by taking something away from girls who have earned their place at the Olympics – no matter how weird the sport OR its historical relevance. Celebrate it all I say. In the meantime, the team Synchronized Swimming ‘own choice’ is on today. I can definitely recommend having a look. It’s very entertaining in a weird, squirmy kind of way…. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

There’s a slightly patronizing term (in my opinion) doing the rounds in blog-land and it is Mummy Blogger or should I say Mommy Blogger? I’m Australian, so Mummy Blogger it is! I hadn’t given it much thought, until recently an old school mate sent me a link to an interview opportunity on Mummy Bloggers and I replied – do you think I’m one? It hadn’t entered my consciousness until that point, but upon further reflection, well of course I probably do fit within the genre. Let’s face it, I blog about my kids, family life and motherhood on a regular basis, but it’s not all I blog about. So even though I blog about a very broad spectrum of stuff, yes, I have to admit, I probably do fit within the Mummy Blogger camp too. So how do I feel about that? I honestly don’t know. I wrote a blog recently about being introduced in an article as a “Mother of two” – something I definitely was not keen on, because I believe I am more than a Mother. It definitely stirred something righteous within me – thus the reason for that blog post. But I AM a Mother of two, and a wife, and a professional communicator, and a lot of other things, so my derision came from seeing the words up in lights for the first time. It’s kind of like hearing yourself referred to as someone’s wife after you get married – I wasn’t so keen on that either. If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, especially about my son Lex, you’ll know I have definitely never been a fan of labels in any context – more so when it comes to my kids. Anyway, I joined the BlogHer Network a while ago, and apart from advertising on my page – you can see the adverts to the right of this blog – it’s given me lots of exposure, taking my readership from about 800 per month, to nearly 4,000/month and growing – that’s been nice. But then, my anal bleaching blog has also contributed to that – I seem to be at the top of SEO on that topic. But BlogHer does celebrate Women bloggers, with over 40 million in the community – that’s a lot of chicks writing on whatever is of interest to them, which is powerful stuff right? (Unfortunately I haven’t been able to attend the BlogHer conference going on in NYC right now. Next year I’m going to go that’s for sure.) But you’ve got to ask the question – is the rise of Mummy Bloggers frightening some folk in the halls of power and is that why this demeaning term was created – to try and take away that power? I’d have to say it probably is a frightening development for some, because blogging is a channel where women can effectively influence women – an audience they trust. Marketers are certainly getting on the band wagon, sending families on holidays and to film premieres, or getting bloggers to write about their products, because they have understood the value of this community. This new opportunity for marketing is also getting more regulated; a sure sign its influence is being taken seriously. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I am yet to get invited to Hollywood for a movie premiere, nor have I had an all expenses paid holiday for the family offered, but who knows? If I build my profile enough, anything can happen it seems. But that’s not why I’m blogging. I started blogging because when I was living in Australia, I had no time on my hands to work effectively, and getting an hour to blog was something I could do. To really write what I want to write, I need TIME – lots and lots of it. I need to get absorbed in it for days and days – but that just can’t happen with two mini-loves. It’s a frustrating part of motherhood for me, but my boys need me now, so I have accepted that. When I fully appreciated I couldn’t do what I wanted to do with my writing, I started blogging. It quickly became the most rewarding part of my day, because it gave me a sense of achievement within the mix of running a house, managing the boys, shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc, etc, etc. That’s why I started blogging. There’s been no benefit beyond my own personal satisfaction, I haven’t sought to grow it into a monster blog like others do and I’ve probably earned about $20 from the advertising in total – because the truth is, I’ve got other things I need to do, so I can’t put any more focus on it. Not forgetting of course, that apart from working (and family-life), I have two other blogs as well… Now I’m back in Singapore – where I have been able to outsource all house wife duties, except the kids – so I have more time for work and this makes me happy, really happy. I need to work. However, this blog remains my true joy, because it gives me a chance to capture all of the crazy shite that constantly goes on in my head and put some order to it. By default, I get to share that with my community, and they in turn share their thoughts with me – sometimes giving me a kick in the arse when needed. Blogging helps me to stay connected with all of the remarkable people I’ve met in my life around the world, and that’s the main reason I do it. It’s also meant I’ve been able to “meet” other people who can relate to what I write about, and that’s been a real bonus too. So yes, I’m probably a Mummy Blogger, but I’m a lot of other things too. However, out of curiosity – would you classify me as a Mummy Blogger?   Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

We’re already half way through the Olympicsand I haven’t been able to watch half of what I want to watch – mainly because it took us three days to work out which bloody channels were worth recording in the first place. Happens every time, but then, what did we do before recorded TV? We’ve been squeezing the Games in whenever we can, with Steve being immersed in gymnastics for the first time in his life. He’s most definitely not a convert – just a good husband ‘cos he knows it makes me happy.  Some observations of the games so far… I LOVE living in Asia – it’s a wonderful part of the world – however as a general rule, the strong preference for (and participation in) Badminton and Table Tennis means it dominates Olympic coverage. This is fine, except half of our evenings are spent fast forwarding through both. I’ve definitely come to appreciate the skill and fitness levels required in both sports, BUT it’s just not my cup of tea. Team Singapore did get a bronze in the table tennis though and that was lovely to see Being away from the epicentres of sport is challenging in a significant way – the commentary teams! The coverage is obviously bought from some central repository, where they bring in previous Olympic participants, but my word, some of them are so painful I would rather watch table tennis. Most of the observations are nothing short of bollocks. Thankfully Steve runs a more entertaining back-up commentary Talking of commentators, the use of the phrase “meat and two veg” shouldn’t be used in any context when you have 20+ men walking around in budgie smugglers during the diving final Women at the Olympics – every country in the world has now contributed female sportswomen and I think that’s awesome. Also for the first time, countries like the US, actually have more women competing than men – cool huh? It’s amazing that it’s now 2012 and we’re only just getting there, but all good things should be celebrated. However, Saudi Arabia, I really appreciate you allowing a woman to compete, but it would be lovely if next time she walks ahead of the men in the Opening Ceremony, as opposed to behind the men. It just looked very VERY wrong. If you actually noticed the other teams that do not walk together (most teams just mix it up) the women walk at the front OK? Just a suggestion and I hope you take heed for future events, because I’m sure the world is looking forward to seeing more of your gals in future Did anyone notice Mr Egypt prancing around the Gymnastics area in his leotard? I didn’t realise men wore leotards under their shorts – until this Olympics – but after seeing his lunch box firmly on display every chance he got when not competing, I now know Can anyone tell me exactly when North Asia got so bloody good in the pool? Every time I watched a swimming race, China, Korea or Japan was in the top three – amazing, but when did that happen? Obviously there is also some rumours about a young Chinese female swimmer, so I REALLY hope nothing comes of that and it’s just because she’s phenomenally talented – I really do. I hate drugs in sport Female weight lifting – a personal passion of mine – anyone else watch it? I was so close to taking it up in my teens, but looking at some of the girls, I’m glad I didn’t. It was exciting to watch, but there’s some scary girls in the mix And of course, it’s a bit sad watching the Olympics this year as I am not hearing the boring strains of Advance Australia Fair ringing out. The team are rock solid in Silver and Bronze – so nothing to be ashamed of – but it hurts a little bit deep inside that there aren’t more Golds… Of course, if NZ comes out ahead of Australia, shit that’ll be worse than the All Blacks winning the bloody Rugby World Cup Final against the Wallabies – we’ll never hear the end of it. However I’ve got to say congrats to NZ for the Golds – bloody awesome stuff. Then again, to protect myself from future ribbing from my Kiwi friends – come on Aussie!!! I’m looking forward to the final week for sure – anyone else notice any corkers? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

The boys have been home from school for a couple of weeks now and we’ve all been juggling the responsibility of keeping them entertained. Luckily for me, I’ve had a lot of work on, so Aunty Vick and Steve have been doing most of the entertaining – until Wednesday of course, when Steve gets his head down in his new job – sigh. An added challenge of the boys being home right now is it seems both are going through growth spurts at the same time – apparently it happens every 4-6 months with boys at this age. But I’ve got to tell you, when they go through growth spurts, the added testosterone turns them into TURDS! It’s intense. Throughout their lives to date, most of the parenting wisdom of expected behaviour hasn’t played true. We never had any terrible twos or annoying threes. They were both pretty cruisey lads, apart from some behavioural challenges with Lex – which turned out to be frustration because 1. He couldn’t hear us and 2. He couldn’t effectively communication his needs. That has slowly been changing, and while he regularly reverts to some pretty challenging behaviour, every day he’s moving forward, both understanding more and communicating more. The biggest thing we’ve got to pay attention to with Lex is making sure our sensitive little lad isn’t embarrassed – by us or anyone else – not easy when other kids are involved. Embarrassment is the number one event which triggers his challenging behaviours – so we remain ever vigilant, but most of the time, we can only be there to cuddle him after-the-fact. That’s life right? But Jax, at the grand old age of four, is the one who’s doing my head in. Who knew a four year old knew so bloody much? Boy can he argue, and he’s always right. He also has two common sayings – I want and I don’t want. Naturally he says I want when I don’t want him to have something. And I don’t want when I want him to have something. I am finding myself constantly saying to him “you’re so annoying!” in a jokey kind of way, but seriously meaning it – I mean he’s really bloody annoying. I feel like everything is a battle – getting him to dress himself, put his shoes on or taking them off, eating, drinking, brushing his teeth, putting sun block on, getting in the car and putting his seat belt on, moving fast enough, and I could go on and on and on. Then add to this the need to put things in my face – “look mum?” he says ramming some toy into my teeth, eyes, nose, etc… Grrrrrrrr! He is belligerent, stubborn, determined, and opinionated – and while many of these qualities will serve him very well in life – right now, they’re driving me nuts!!!  Four is definitely the most challenging age for me – by a very very long way. One to three were delightful with the Jaxster, but now I’ve come face-to-face with a whole new beast. He’s definitely a marvellous kid, with a terrific sense of humour, so I have no doubt he’s going to be an awesome man with a terrific sense of self, but in the meantime – CRIKEY!! Add to this the aforementioned growth spurt, and not only do I have a feisty four year old to argue with, but I have two boys who want to beat the shit out of each other all day, every day. I recently said to Steve – you’ve got to start wrestling these guys every chance you get, because I think that’s where we are developmentally – two boys needing to be extra physical all the time, ‘cos they weren’t enough already! I came to this conclusion after speaking to another Dad with two lads at a BBQ recently. He said to me “boys this age need to wrestle and wrestle a lot.” He suggested I Google the topic, and I found some rather interesting articles – this one was the best – so perhaps that will help?   Parenting – your heart aches with love for your children, but sometimes you just want to kick them in to next week. Not that I ever world, of course… Anyone else relate? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

To say I’m excited about the Olympics is an UNDER statement! I adore the games and regularly get all gooey and emotional watching people achieve their most remarkable best – it’s inspiring. I know many are cynical about the games these days, claiming it’s big business and nothing else, but I’m sure if you asked the athletes what it means to them, it would be a VERY different story. That’s where I focus all of my attention – on these amazing individuals who have dedicated their entire lives to being the best they can be. Of course, it wouldn’t be an Olympics without a few random genitalia poking out of leotards or some sensational sex scandal. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to keep my eyes peeled for snatch thwacks on the high beam, flaps dangling from leotards or swim suits, as well as which side the male athletes pack and assessing the most “gifted” in this arena. Obviously it’s a great perv fiesta, and I’ll be looking for the best arse and thighs in the cycling team, the best overall physique in the swim teams, and just lapping up the male perfection on show, as well as the female perfection, because I love a buff female body too. In our house, international sporting events are always of interest because I married a Pom – I know!! The great rivalry that exists between Australia and England took on a new dimension last Olympics, when for the first time in about 50 years, Team GB beat Australia in the medal tally. However, if you read this article, it’s not exactly true – apparently. To be honest, neither Steve nor I actually care which of our countries “win”, but the phone calls from my family to Steve – even if Australia beats England at Tiddlywinks – is always good entertainment. I only hope this rivalry remains good spirited, because it does have a tendency to get nasty. However, that’s the heritage of colonialism for you… it continues to this day through sport. Not to mention that Australia’s sporting prowess is something the country is VERY proud of and while I know a lot of people who have lived in (and visited) Australia think it’s completely obnoxious – which I get – you’ve got to understand that this is how Australia feels part of the greater world. When you’re positioned geographically on the arse-end of the planet (NZ included), feeling like you’re part of the bigger picture is important, and sport gives us that. Alas, I don’t think many appreciate this fact. Win or lose, I’m supporting all of the athletes – where ever they are from – because I think they’re awesome just for being there. However, there is a very small chance that I may slip in a few Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi’s – but only if no one’s looking. Enjoy and please do share any great spills or thrills, ‘cos I’m not going to be able to get them all. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

This has been going on for some time now, but I’m wondering if anyone else is experiencing the very interesting invitations from strangers to connect on Skype? Most seem to be very senior officers in the US military – typically serving in Afghanistan or Iraq – and all are rather bizarre… As a sample of my most recent contact – where out of respect for privacy, I will delete identifiable parts of names, except for the one who is a General Cock… he has to stay. Here’s a few delights, including typos, text-over-runs, etc, to share: Hello sweet, what an interesting profile of yours, I am General Smith I respect people with self esteem I am a caring, loving and easy going person that has a lot of love and care to give. I am looking for a lady who is importantly a down to heart, who is hones Hell dear, How are you doing? Can i steal your smile for a minute? Enter a message to introduce yourself. Hello friend,  I’m Brig Gen. Steven, from the United States Army general in war peace keeping assignment, How are you doing today? I hope everything is well, Well, i saw your profile reading great. So i want us to be good an hello pretty,  hi i like your picture you look nice, i am single and i am new in this site, i was married before but my wife is dead and i am left with my little daughter whom is in USA under the care of a nanny. i am 49 years and i wish to have a good relationship with a w Hello dear how are you doing.Well am Gen. caldwell, from U.S, i am presently serving as the commander general here in Afghanistan with the United Nation Army. hello friend are you doing you today i hope you are fine am general cock  you  nice meeting you if you don;t mind can we talk ? I am looking for a lady who is importantly a down to heart? Can I steal your smile for a minute? Hello pretty? Commander General in Afghanistan? Are you doing you today? I hope you are fine am general cock! I presume everyone is getting these messages, and while I typically block every one of them – is it some sort of a scam? Just uncovered a bunch more invites today and thought it was worth a share, and maybe a giggle. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Steve Johnson, a happy man today! When Steve and I came back to Singapore about 18 months ago, we decided it was time to chase our dreams. There are plenty of dreams in the mix, but the fundamental thing we’re chasing is freedom – the freedom to work hard doing the things we LOVE, have enough mullah in the bank to do the things we want, to not be controlled by someone else’s schedule, to live in a beautiful home and enjoy adventures as a family, and to have the extra time we need in the day to be there for our mini loves and each other. Since that time, every day we have gotten closer to achieving our dreams and then the next day have taken about 10 steps back. I can definitely say it ain’t been easy and my aching jaw is testament to the stresses and strains of this time. About 12 months ago we recognised a fundamental flaw in our strategy – there is only room for one entrepreneur in any relationship, and that entrepreneur needs the time and space to grow an empire. We’ve both been trying to do it together, which has caused a lot of instability, and that means mega stress! So we agreed that Steve would find work, which would give me the space I need to grow the business. Once I am successful, Steve can retire and play golf every day. Unfortunately, my love is extremely specialised and very senior in his field, so finding a job has not been an easy task. In the last 12 months he’s been on the hunt, he’s had a lot of intense disappointment along the way. Not easy for a man to deal with – especially a man like Steve. But today we got some awesome news. After four months of back and forth with two companies, he has secured a position running the region for both across Asia Pacific and the Middle East. It’s actually a very unique opportunity – one that lets him do something he’s brilliant at – building a business across this region. It also maintains our ultimate goal of freedom, because even though he’ll be working for someone else, he’ll be completely independent and building it how he sees fit. It gives him space to grow other opportunities as well – and that makes him happy. I’ve got to say it’s been a long process – one that often looked like failing – and that alone has been exhausting. So Steve my love – congratulations, we can breathe again. On my side, I’ve had more of a mish-mash of experiences along the way.  I want to write for a living – full stop. I write lots of different stuff already, but professionally I’m a business story teller, predominantly for the IT industry, but I can write about any business. The challenge is finding the right people who have a serious need for someone with my skills. Most of the big companies remain dependent on headquarters for content, while the smaller companies either don’t see the value or just don’t have the budgets. Sometimes it feels like what I offer is ahead of its time for Asia, and other times, I’m just not speaking to the right people. But I keep building, I’ve picked up a fabulous new client recently, won another deal with a major IT player that is significant professionally but not financially, and there are a few more opportunities in the mix. So I too am getting there after a long slog. Up until this point, we haven’t been able to achieve “the flow.” Any new business takes time to get to that point, and if I was speaking to anyone else about setting up a business, I’d say you might get lucky, but your ultimate goal needs to be about achieving the flow – that’s when you succeed – because until then, it’s a bumpy old ride. We can now finally leave the bumpy stage, which is just in time, because we’re fucken exhausted. One of the things I’ve discovered in the last 18 months is the impact of stress on your mind and body. When you get stressed your entire body aches and you get sick easily. You also feel really really tired, and while we’ve both battled through it, surprising ourselves with our determination and commitment to succeed somehow, it takes pieces out of you. Self confidence gets a battering, as does self belief. You can feel 10 men (or women) some days, but most of your days are spent feeling feeble, fearful and anxious. It’s also hard to think and keep track of your thoughts, let alone getting a good night’s sleep. Stress is definitely a brutal master – especially with two kids in the mix – but of course, you’ve got to let the worry go and just focus 100 per cent on where you want to be. I focused on succeeding for the first 15 months – I believed! But the last three or four months haven’t been so easy when it comes to harnessing hope. Of the many things I’ve learnt in the last 18 months – fear, worry, stress, and all those yucky things, serve absolutely no purpose, other than crippling you in every way possible. You just can’t move forward when you feel those things. So I’ve learnt to let them go, but sometimes I couldn’t let them go, because things just got too intense – to the point I wanted to explode. My goal for freedom has definitely been expanded to have no stress in my life. From today we can start to build a life with some stability in the mix, because it is very important – even for a freedom junky like me. No wonder people say stress gives you cancer – I can definitely believe this having felt the physical ramifications of stress on my body these last few years. My life has