Why do Dentists’ Use Cold Shit?

I was in the States last week and as I was chewing on one of the softest chocolate bars available – a Mars Bar – I felt that all too familiar crunch of a tooth mixed in amongst the creamy goodness. Awesome. There aren’t many things – for me – to beat “that” feeling, but it impacts me more when one is not at home and about to spend a day flying at over 30,000+ feet. In case you didn’t know, high altitude/pressure increases the risks of an internal tooth combustion significantly, and as I already had two high risk teeth for flying, I was rather anxious to add a third. Thankfully, I didn’t have to deal with that eventuality.

Making it home without pain, my lovely husband arranged a dental appointment at my request. The “at my request” addition is important, because in the past I’ve always taken an approach of – if it don’t hurt, sort it out later – well I’ve learnt that later is always too late, and I have three titanium implants to prove it.

Like most people, I don’t like going to the dentist – even though my actual dentist is a top bloke – and the only thing I like about going is I get to watch old episodes of Friends – still makes me giggle. Anyhoo, today we agreed that no numbing was needed (brave huh?), and that is always the preferable approach when returning to the office. As such, it was all smooth sailing, except for one crikey-hit-the-roof-shit-you-got-the-root moment. Otherwise it was all pretty OK as far as dental appointments go, except for all of the cold shit being blasted into my mouth.

You know, I think that’s actually my least favorite bit about the dentist – the cold shit. As you get a wee bit older, your gums start to recede fractionally (or is that just me?), which means the cold blasts actually start to hurt a little bit more. It’s not nice. So having a filling today – no problem. Giving my teeth a quick polish – no problem. Blasts of icy air and water – problem.

At the end I ask my dentist, Brendan – is it absolutely necessary to have cold water and cold air to do the job? I mean could warm water and warm air do the same trick or is there some reason for it being cold dentistically speaking? He looks at me and says why yes, we do need to dry the surface to do the job, but no, there is no reason for it to be cold.

It was a Eureka moment, and perhaps if there’s anyone out there in the dental equipment manufacturing sector reading this, you might be up for making a lot of money if you start designing your equipment with a slightly warmer blast? I’d sure appreciate that.

My appointment finished with a lovely surprise. Because I’ve been such a good and loyal customer (and trust me, I’ve spent a LOT of money with these guys) my appointment was free. How’s that? Never happened before and I’m still in shock.

So anyone else struggle with cold shit at the dentist?

Yours, without the bollocks


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