It’s the Darnedest Thing

Steve arrived home Sunday morning after nearly two weeks away in the US. It’s a tough trip for all of us when he’s away that long (especially the US) because he’s asleep when the boys are up – apart from the morning chaos when we’re all scrambling to get out the door – but equally, Steve is always flat-out, in meetings, entertaining customers and partners, etc… While he’s doing that I’m also juggling the boys, work, meetings, AND keeping my love informed throughout the day so he feels connected to home.

It’s bloody intense.

However, more than anything, when Steve is away for a long time our little guys really miss him – and it’s getting more intense. As such, I always do everything I can to be there for them to ensure their emotional needs are being met. I don’t go out, don’t make any plans, don’t do anything really – as my number one goal during this time is to give them a ton of cuddles to make them feel valued and loved, and to do things that make them feel happy. Steve is the same when I’m away. It’s just really important to us to do that and make them feel super special, whether they’re with one or both parents.

However, when Steve gets home (always exhausted), it’s like my whole body collapses because I can finally relax and share the emotional load again. I carry the tension differently every time, and this time I carried it in my jaw. When Sunday came around, I was finally able to let the clenching go – which was handy, because it was getting rather painful.

The only comparison that makes any sense is when you go on holidays. After a few days you finally relax and BAM, you’re sick as a dog for the rest of your vacation. It’s the same when Steve gets home – I can relax and with that, everything I’ve been carrying within kicks me in the arse and knocks me on my back.

I don’t often get sick, but one thing I do feel is a whole bunch of muscles unravelling, which usually requires a visit to the osteo to get everything back in order. I can feel my back and neck muscles all mushed up right now – it’s pleasant.

This parenting malarkey definitely wears me out, but I really couldn’t be without my little dudes. They seem to take so much from us, but the magic in our life is more profound since their entry into our world. I know I don’t mind what it takes out of me, because I just believe that what I’m doing right now is too important for their futures – and that’s what parenting is all about right?

More than all of that, I’m just really pleased to have my man home – I really missed him this trip. Equally, I am reminded again of how much I admire (and take my hat off to) single parents every day. When I go through periods where I am one, I seriously want to get down and kiss their feet – remarkable and tough stuff single parenting.

I’m glad I get to share that ride – most of the time at least.

Yours, without the bollocks


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