I Should be Dead Many Times Over

Do you think we’re here for a reason? Or do you think there’s no purpose – we live, we die, it’s all over? For many reasons I won’t have time to go into here (one was written up in my ghost shagging blog,) I think there is a purpose, and while I’m not sure what mine is, I’m keen to uncover it because I obviously haven’t done it yet, or maybe I have? Maybe having my lads was my purpose? Maybe it’s something else?

I was reading Neale Donald Walsch again recently. He’s a very interesting dude who offers a completely different perspective on the divine/god/universe/etc… to anything I’ve ever uncovered – and it got me thinking about a two week period in my life back in 1995 – the two weeks before I left Australia to begin wandering the world – a journey I still find myself on. Not wandering seems to be something I’m incapable of doing…

The first incident happened on Flinders St in Melbourne at the heart of the City. In 1995 it was a manically busy street, but on this day, it was dead and as I was driving along, I decided to do a U-turn. I looked all around, nothing, turned the car, and swish – a Melbourne tram went by. The thing is I know I was on that track. I felt the tram tracks under the car. The other thing I know is that a small hatch back and a Melbourne tram = one thing – death to the driver, as it should have crashed straight into the drivers’ door! I sat there stunned. I had looked around, but I didn’t seen the tram (and they are hard to miss) and somehow I was still alive. In fact, the car didn’t even get a scratch on it, which was lucky because I’d just sold it.

A week later, I went out with a mate, and was driving home late at night. I was dog tired and driving towards the Tullamarine Freeway – back then, the Tullamarine Freeway was one of the busiest roads in Melbourne, full of mega trucks coming into the city. I was driving towards the intersection, and I saw a green light. I entered the intersection and could hear horns blasting. Things slowed down at this point. I looked to my right and saw 20 cars coming at me, I looked at the lights and they were indeed red, but I made it to the middle of the intersection without getting hit, at which point I slowly looked to the left, expecting to see a couple of big trucks bearing down on me. Nothing. The road was completely empty. I couldn’t have stopped if something was coming, so I crossed the intersection, parked on the side of the ride, and waited for my heart to slow down. My tiredness had gone.

I have thought back on those two moments many times in my life, wondering why I didn’t die? I should have died. I have experienced many more moments like this in my life, been in extremely dangerous places with no harm coming to me, been in the back of buses as they were hanging off the edge of cliffs, been a passenger in shoddy planes that had no right flying, cancelled an appointment in the WTC on September 10th, and so many more near death experiences.

I don’t know why, I just know that I have and it’s given me faith in one thing – not to be scared of living, because when it’s my time to die, I will. I don’t know when it will happen or how, but it doesn’t scare me – it really doesn’t. More important than worrying about dying is to make sure I do whatever I’m supposed to do while I’m here and in the meantime, mbrace life for all of the wonderful experiences it offers.

So I’m wondering: has anyone else lived when they know they should have died? Does anyone else believe they have a destiny? Has anyone actually uncovered their destiny?

Yours, without the bollocks


8 Responses

  1. I have definitely had that near death experience. I had it with baby number 2 at 38 weeks. I had a complete placental abruption. The haemorrhage that followed was literally life threatening. I wound up with Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation (aka DIC & Death Is Coming) My blood loss was so great it stopped clotting & I blew up like a bloat fish because the fluid from my blood vessels was too thin & leaking into my blood vessels.
    My Oxygen levels were so low it damaged the nerves in my cochlea & I'm now moderately deaf. Incidental really because my attending Anaesthetist /Intensivist & my obstetrition were both amazed that I survived. I was amazed myself once I recovered from the physical & emotional shock & the enormity of what had happened sank in.
    Sadly my baby didn't survive.

    I believe the only reason that I survived was an act of God (however you want to dress your God figure). I believe that there is a God and that we are here for a purpose. Like you I haven't figured out exactly what my purpose is.

    What I do try to do is this; be grateful for every day and all the blessings in my life. I try not to focus on bad experiences because I don't want those to define my life. The near death experience & loss of my baby taught me that life is a precious gift not to be wasted.

    Very heavy, but you did ask the question and I am certain that I am here for a reason.

    I have two more questions for you. Do we really need to work out exactly what our purpose is? Or is it OK to achieve it or be achieving it without actually knowing?

  2. Oh I wish I knew who that was, although I'm thinking Fiona? Sounds like a nurse or a doctor? But bloody hell, what a story!! I'm so sorry you went through that – known a few ladies that lost babies that late in the game, and Dunny almost died with her third bubba. Terrible, sad, horrible stuff, but good on you for seeing the opportunity to be grateful. That's what it's all about right? And re your questions. I don't think I'll ever know what my purpose is but I enjoy the seeking more than anything I suppose. I figure if I ever get there I'll know because I'll be calm and satisfied with my lot everyday. All I think is important is living life to the full, smiling everyday, appreciating and giving back when ever I can I suppose xxxxxxx

  3. Come on Eddo… your mate Neale is charging (from what I can tell) $2300 for three phone calls and some other crap. Follow the money, darling. And your friend above survived because of medical intervention and circumstantial factors beyond anyones control (including any being "dressed as a God figure" conjured by a perfectly natural human tendency toward credulty) As the magnificent fictional character, Don Draper, once said… "the universe is indifferent". And everyone is equal in the "eyes" of the universe. In the economies of scale measurable in the contexts of time and evolution, you, me, a Murdoch, an Obama, a Bernanke and a Brevick mean VIRTUALLY nothing. May as well do good stuff for yourself and as many people as possible, because it is easy to logically establish that you don't matter. If you do bad stuff (like your mate Neale who is simply ripping off the vulnerable), in your very breif spell on our little dot of oxygen, hydrogen etc etc.. you will simply be known as a knob. It's a good thing to avoid. Karl

  4. Karl my darling, I'm not going to disagree with you because neither of us/them are wrong, we just all have different perspectives and whatever works for whoever it works for, great! But why the hell do you have such a problem with people charging for their services? I'd pay Neale for this but you wouldn't. Is either wrong? I don't think so. Each to their own I say and as you said, be good and do good is what matters most. That's the essence of all of life – however you go about things xxxxxx

  5. It's about what he is charging the money for… I would never try and stop anyone from spending their money in this way. I would have no right. However, someone (ie. you) has provided a link and the encouragement to access the site where this guy is hocking his wares. "Services"?… He is not providing a "service", aside from encouraging and, subsequently, mining an intuitive aspect of humanity that causes us to gravitate toward the comfy, warm absolute certainty of faith combined with the chimera of a "bargain". He alludes to his organisation being "not-for-profit"… and cunningly says that all monies go towards resources and "salaries"…. I wonder what the percentage splits are? To generate the absolute certainty of faith he must proselytise in ridiculous absolutes.. he is the "modern day spiritual messenger whose words continue to touch the world in profound ways" and "The With God Series has redefined God and shifted spiritual paradigms around the globe"… what does this made-up tosh actually mean? Absolutly nothing tangible, except that it is a potent sales pitch… and it's power lies in the assumption that you don't have access to what he does unless he show's you (and you pay for it). It assumes that he has his spiritual shit together and you don't… the weak minded and the vulnerable are sitting ducks. It's very premise is predatory in that the ultimate goal is to provide an income for Neale and staff…. what happens if what he is selling is crap? At the very least, you have to admit that it IS possible that it is bullshit…. and if you analysed objectively following strict scientific process, which is MORE LIKELY? That he has "conversations with god" or he is using an overactive imagination and ego for profit? And Eddo, why IS that link here on your blog? Did you get a discount on one of his "products" as an incentive? You champion many aspects of this particular communication tool as part of your work but isn't it just pyramid selling on steroids?…. and what steps do YOU take to ensure the value and veracity of the products sold by your clients? You have got to watch it otherwise your "friends" may start to suspect they are merely being treated as fodder… You are correct in observing that neither of us/them are wrong (in absolute terms) but I love posing the question always generated by applying scientific process; who is MORE LIKELY to be right? You will notice that the answer to this question could NEVER contain the absolute certainty faith requires, and is, therefore, not very comfy because of the angular nagging of knowing you will never know… but this is salved by the sweet resolve that no-one could ever profit from it. And that, my friend, is priceless :-)Karl

  6. Karl the link is there to provide some context around a comment and not because I'm getting anything from it – do you really think I'd be motivated in that way? I have found his perspective on God interesting, after reading his Conversations with God books. I don't agree with them, embrace them wholesale or anything else, I just appreciated a very different perspective to any I've read before. If people are interested in reading because I blog about it, awesome, but many won't give a shit – equally awesome. I'm sharing my thoughts here darls, thoughts that are not committed to any direction or belief, and hoping to generate discussion, which will further add to my thinking and send me off in new directions. That's all I want, to keep thinking and being open to all ideas – scientific, spiritual, or otherwise… I don't care that people profit from anything, all I want is to keep exploring possibilities, and never knowing is cool by me. There are no abolutes and science has missed a lot of truths along the way – things that can't be explained in the context of our current abilities. I just want to absorb all that I can, what ever the perspective, and see where it takes me. The only thing I'm committed to in this process is not taking any one view and embracing it as my own. I want to integrate all possibilities. That's it – that's all I'm doing here.

  7. Considering all possibilities requires more effort than simply absorbing them, mainly because it requires objectivity. This is what I attempt, and arguably it's more difficult than passive absorbtion. Science has missed alot of truths, yeah sure, but it has IGNORED a hell of alot LESS than ANY credulous belief system. This is a very important distinction. If Neale's assertions as a self-proclaimed "spiritual messenger" is the context in which you have framed this post then that premise is open for anaysis. That's all I am doing here. I am very glad to hear you have no adjunct financial interest in providing this link, however I am dissapointed to hear that you will not take any view as your own. Does this mean you don't have one, or you don't wish to share it? My position is that thinking you have some etherally ordained purpose or you are being looked after by a spirit/god/angel is a reflection of how important you wish your self to be rather than any reflection of verifiable reality. Perhaps you would ask… "why crush those delicately held articles of faith with such a brutal premise…. that the universe is, indeed, indifferent?". Well, it's complex…. but the main reason, I would have to say, is because REALLY shitty things happen to people and, logically, that would mean they have been abandoned, their spirits punished for reason's "that can't be explained in the context of our current abilities". The only way to set their souls free from the burden of the guilt and pain caused by such a belief would be to convincingly explain that it is bullshit. If it goes one way, it must also go the other. And doing good stuff for no prize (or price) at all is much more noble and righteous than doing it to earn some form of karmic payback or because you want to please some imaginary being. There is no past life, or a future one and you will not return as a ghost… no one ever has. Live now. And always try and eschew bullshit. It is a waste of what little time you have. Karl

  8. Karl my blogs are about an exploration of ideas – they’re not right, they’re not wrong, they’re just explorations. I do not have a belief – one way of thinking that I hold above all others – but based on many things that have happened to me personally, I am at a point where I think there is something bigger than all of us. I can’t prove it and no one requires me to do that, it’s just something I’ve come to understand. Neale’s books didn’t inspire this blog, it just reminded me of some experiences, which I shared in this blog. I don’t know how else to tell you what I’m trying to do here….

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