Recently I was invited to speak on a panel at a great event called SheSays Singapore. Run by some cracking ladies I know, the audience was full of inspired and passionate professional women all hoping for that little titbit of wisdom backing up what they already knew deep down inside. It was awesome being part of it and I made some great new pals that evening.
Lucid Dreaming photo courtesy of Shutterstock
Anyhoo if there was one thing I hoped to get across that night, it was helping anyone who wasn’t quite there to believe in whatever dream they had for themselves. It’s so easy to get side-tracked from our dreams, because too many people will tell us why we can’t do something (their fear), but more than anything, it’s the little voice in our head that is relentless and loves telling us why we can’t achieve something.
Shutting that voice off is one of the hardest things you can do. I know. My inner voice is a complete bitch.
But equally with dreams, I find we often limit them and convince ourselves that “I could never achieve that, so I’ll pare it down and dream towards this.”
For some reason, we accept a logical idea of how far we can go and dream with limitations attached. It’s a self-belief issue which I believe is often due to societies expectations of us – being female, being male, cultural norms, the Imposter Syndrome, upbringing, education levels, etc, etc, etc…
We will often look at those people who have become the super stars of their field and we don’t see it as possible for us. And I want to say why not?
Why not dream to be a super star in your field if you really REALLY want to be that? Especially if you have a voice, deep down in your heart, yearning for it daily. Why not admit it to yourself and never give up until you get there? Because you can get there if every fiber of your being believes you can. I really believe that.
I also know it’s not easy. It is also rarely quick! But no one can stop you if you really believe it’s possible. Of course if you just can’t sing and want to be bigger than Lady Gaga, that might not happen… I have seen delusion in dreams too.
The challenge with dreaming is we let our inner dialogue drown it out. We are telling ourselves every hour of every day that we are not good enough. It won’t happen. Why would anyone buy us?
I was chatting to a mate the other night and she is going through the same thing. Looking for a new job, her inner voice is brutal and she’s going into fear every second of every day, believing that she won’t be successful. Everyone else knows she will be successful, including me, but that bitch of a voice is relentless.
I told her my strategy for that and it’s really simple. Every time my voice starts having a go at me I tell it to fuck off and get back to visualizing my dreams. That’s my strategy, which is all about drowning out the voice that doesn’t serve me – the fear voice. Fear is only useful when you are faced with a big black bear right? Screw it.
Of course I’ve been in a cycle of fear / fuck off / fear / fuck off for a few months now, as I am about to put myself out there in a big way again. I’m launching my own business and I’m both terrified and excited.
You see, this isn’t the first time I’ve done it and last time I “failed.” But do you ever really fail? No, I don’t believe so, I believe you learn, and one thing I learnt was timing. I was far too early with the business I launched a decade ago (along with some other mix-ups along the way, oh and a couple of pregnancies in the mix didn’t help) but now the timing is right. Perfect. So it’s time to step of the precipice and do it again.
Shit shit shit. Fuck OFF!
I’ve been saying to Steve for a while now that I don’t want to play small anymore – which may surprise those who know me, because my life is generally anything but small. But for a few years now they way I’ve been living my life hasn’t been right. I have loved the work I’ve done and the people I’ve worked with. The experiences have been amazing.
But I need to work for me. I also need to be free. Freedom has always been my biggest priority.
So I’m gunna do it and it’s going to be intense but awesome too. It’s time and I’m ready.
If you’re interested, I read/watched two things this week that really resonated. First was – Almost everyone who is unhappy with life is unhappy for the same reasons – check it out. I found it really inspiring.
I also watched this TED Talk. I think Steve needs to watch this and then he’ll understand that we are sitting on the opposite side of the fence sometimes. It might help us face the future together if we understand these key differences.
So my friends, why don’t we all listen to the whisper of our souls, identify the truth of our dreams and then go out there and chase them with every fibre of our being. I believe this is how we can be happy and if you decide to do it, I will be there to cheer you on I promise.
There’s nothing better than seeing people reach for the stars and get there.
I’m hoping to get there. Join me?
Yours without the bollocks