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I feel like a lucky girl, because I’ve met so many amazing people across every corner of the globe – all of whom have their stories and their own peculiar interests, their diverse backgrounds, faiths, or they’re atheists – I don’t care what people’s stories are, I’ve just appreciated meeting them all, apart from a couple of challenging folk along the way. One such lady who came into my life about eight or so years ago, and who is a bit eccentric by some people’s standards, is Adrienne Kane. I love her – she’s out there, experiencing life, always open to new ideas, but strangely down to earth at the same time. Adrienne is one of Singapore’s healers. She’s got a few talents – a Reiki teacher, Bach Flower/Bush Flower expert, a Body Talk pracitioner and newly added to the mix is Sacred Tree Essences from the Amazon. Adrienne defines herself as an intuitive, which means she gets a sense of “stuff” – a knowing or an understanding. I should point out that I’ve never done a healing session with Adrienne, I just like the way she thinks AND I enjoyed hearing about a recent adventure she had – because putting yourself into very uncomfortable situations for personal growth is always something I admire. Adrienne recently travelled to the Amazon jungle to do a seven day Shaman’s workshop and it was one hell of an experience that I thought some of my readers might enjoy. She’s also going back this weekend for a second bout, so I’m sure it’s going to be different again. You see, Adrienne has always been interested in Shamanism, but one thing always turned her off – the dark side of the practice, or its fear-based practises. I feel the same about Voodoo. But then a friend told her about an experience he’d recently had, with a group of Shamans in the Amazon and this group works with the concept of universality – something that is definitely gaining more airwaves these days.  As such, they only practise the positive aspects of Shamanism. What is Shamanism you ask? The Wikipedia definition is “Shamanism is an anthropological term referencing a range of beliefs and practices regarding communication with the spiritual world. To quote Eliade: “A first definition of this complex phenomenon, and perhaps the least hazardous, will be: shamanism = technique of ecstasy.” Shamanism encompasses the belief that shamans are intermediaries or messengers between the human world and the spirit worlds. Shamans are said to treat ailments/illness by mending the soul. Alleviating traumas affecting the soul/spirit restores the physical body of the individual to balance and wholeness. The shaman also enters supernatural realms or dimensions to obtain solutions to problems afflicting the community. Shamans may visit other worlds/dimensions to bring guidance to misguided souls and to ameliorate illnesses of the human soul caused by foreign elements.” So Adrienne headed off recently, flying into Lima, then onto Iquitos and then she jumped into the back of a truck for her adventure into the jungle. Staying in a very basic lodge on a beautiful lake, Adrienne was led for seven days by three Shamans – one Australian, one American and one Peruvian. These camps are held every couple of months and the focus is on being as one – not just during the camp, but always. There were a lot of experiences from this time, but I asked Adrienne what her key take-aways were and she said: “I think the greatest teaching I took away from this is everything is stories within stories within stories. So if you tell me a story, I wrap it up and contextualise it with my own stories, and then I tell someone and they do the same, and so on. We hear within the context of our own experiences and therefore we get stories within stories within stories. I just found this way of explaining it really effective and it teaches us not to attach to other’s stories – but human beings are drama queens so it’s natural to take on board other’s stories The Ancients have always known that if we manage the elements the world works. The Shamans only focus on four – air, water, fire and earth – and so if we can manage these and balance them within us, we can journey as one I experienced my soul fully and realised that there is nothing wrong, there is no judgement – we are absolutely perfect. Too often we let the exterior world define the interior world and I believe it needs to be the other way around” The venue sounded amazing. No electricity, or hot water, or mobile phone access or Internet access – sounds blissful, well apart from the cold water because it is winter there right now!! But the group were able to be together, be open, hold nothing back, and experience some very ancient rituals and ceremonies that I think sound fascinating. Some went to detox, some to learn, some to explore Shamanism and everyone was changed by the process. Adrienne said everyone had to let their egos go on the first night, because the ceremonies were very confronting. It was also about surrendering control, and most importantly, about trust – because most of the students thought they were going to die at some point. So it was a very confronting thing to do. Adrienne likened the experience to birthing kids, which included the absolute exhaustion at the end of it, but also said it helped her to understand why we’re all here. It’s about assisting others but it’s not about fixing others, as no one is less than anyone else. It’s about asking questions and seeking another viewpoint. If we continually explore concepts, we won’t judge or compete with each other. I like the idea of that. “It was an amazing time and an amazing experience. I was able to completely switch off from the world. The concept of modern Shamanism is all about love

Do you think we’re here for a reason? Or do you think there’s no purpose – we live, we die, it’s all over? For many reasons I won’t have time to go into here (one was written up in my ghost shagging blog,) I think there is a purpose, and while I’m not sure what mine is, I’m keen to uncover it because I obviously haven’t done it yet, or maybe I have? Maybe having my lads was my purpose? Maybe it’s something else? I was reading Neale Donald Walsch again recently. He’s a very interesting dude who offers a completely different perspective on the divine/god/universe/etc… to anything I’ve ever uncovered – and it got me thinking about a two week period in my life back in 1995 – the two weeks before I left Australia to begin wandering the world – a journey I still find myself on. Not wandering seems to be something I’m incapable of doing… The first incident happened on Flinders St in Melbourne at the heart of the City. In 1995 it was a manically busy street, but on this day, it was dead and as I was driving along, I decided to do a U-turn. I looked all around, nothing, turned the car, and swish – a Melbourne tram went by. The thing is I know I was on that track. I felt the tram tracks under the car. The other thing I know is that a small hatch back and a Melbourne tram = one thing – death to the driver, as it should have crashed straight into the drivers’ door! I sat there stunned. I had looked around, but I didn’t seen the tram (and they are hard to miss) and somehow I was still alive. In fact, the car didn’t even get a scratch on it, which was lucky because I’d just sold it. A week later, I went out with a mate, and was driving home late at night. I was dog tired and driving towards the Tullamarine Freeway – back then, the Tullamarine Freeway was one of the busiest roads in Melbourne, full of mega trucks coming into the city. I was driving towards the intersection, and I saw a green light. I entered the intersection and could hear horns blasting. Things slowed down at this point. I looked to my right and saw 20 cars coming at me, I looked at the lights and they were indeed red, but I made it to the middle of the intersection without getting hit, at which point I slowly looked to the left, expecting to see a couple of big trucks bearing down on me. Nothing. The road was completely empty. I couldn’t have stopped if something was coming, so I crossed the intersection, parked on the side of the ride, and waited for my heart to slow down. My tiredness had gone. I have thought back on those two moments many times in my life, wondering why I didn’t die? I should have died. I have experienced many more moments like this in my life, been in extremely dangerous places with no harm coming to me, been in the back of buses as they were hanging off the edge of cliffs, been a passenger in shoddy planes that had no right flying, cancelled an appointment in the WTC on September 10th, and so many more near death experiences. I don’t know why, I just know that I have and it’s given me faith in one thing – not to be scared of living, because when it’s my time to die, I will. I don’t know when it will happen or how, but it doesn’t scare me – it really doesn’t. More important than worrying about dying is to make sure I do whatever I’m supposed to do while I’m here and in the meantime, mbrace life for all of the wonderful experiences it offers. So I’m wondering: has anyone else lived when they know they should have died? Does anyone else believe they have a destiny? Has anyone actually uncovered their destiny? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I’ve just finished another interesting read, this time “The Upside of Irrationality” by DanAriely. A professor in psychology and behavioural economics at Duke University, Dan explores why humans hang on to things and feelings, as well as what really motivates us – in work and in life. It’s a really interesting perspective, told by an academic who isn’t academic in how he writes, and he comes across as a very humble and lovely person. This is his second book – I haven’t read the first yet – and this time around, he focuses a lot on something terrible that happened to him in his late teens – he suffered 70 per cent burns to his body when a magnesium flare exploded next to him. Suffice to say, this guy went through hell – both multiple surgeries and a painful recovery process that took years (in fact, it will never really finish) and it was this experience that made him want to understand irrationality, because he wanted to understand his own pain. It talks about lots and lots of things, but some highlights include research that proves how big bonuses do not generate better results. In fact, if anything, the results are worse because the pressure is too high. Naturally, the financial community did not accept these findings… The Ikea affect, and why buying a crappy bit of furniture (sorry for those Ikea lovers out there but we’re all victims) and building it yourself makes you value it above something of real value. I think the red set of draws Steve and I built and painted before Lex was born fits that category – a lot of emotional attachment there. He talks about adaptation and how we are really really good at it, which is quite fortunate really. This helps all of us, but one particular example is being bound to a wheelchair, or going blind later in life – with research showing that, overtime and with adaptation, most people are no less happy than “normal” folk. Dan obviously adapted after his accident, although every day he suffers pain and others’ reactions to his scars. But adaptation is also the reason why, as massive consumers, we are not finding joy in our lives, because anything new (car, house, kitchen, tiles, etc) is adapted to and then we are forced to seek the next new thing to stay “happy.” There’s a lot to this book, like why we happily donate to a local girl suffering from something horrible and yet we don’t put our hands in our pockets when millions are starving – I hope people don’t ignore Somalia. Or why we value our own creations over others, and how we need to be aware that acting on negative feelings can result in us always acting in the same way if we face the same situation in future. Essentially, once we have a defined way of reacting, no matter the situation or circumstances, we tend to consistently react to things in the same way as we did the first time. But it’s not all bad. By being aware that we’re all completely irrational, it helps us to look at our own irrational behaviours and maybe question why we do things the way we do and perhaps even change our reactions? Never a bad thing in my mind. But also, sometimes our irrational behaviour is a lifeline, because it helps us to survive, no matter how painful the situation we face. So if you want to get into the human psyche a little and understand what makes us tick, I think this is a great, straight forward perspective on why we’re all just a little bit mad really. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea PS: I need a really really good book to get into – any recommendations? Some good escapism?

I don’t like rules. They restrict you and suppress your creativity. I don’t think all rules are bad and many obviously have a place in ensuring a more stable society for the majority, but not all rules are good, or even relevant. I definitely followed more rules when I was younger, but I’ve had the good fortune of meeting great people along the way who made me question some of them, and as a result, it helped me to question all of them. Some I stick too, many I’ve let go – it’s a good thing to question the rules you follow I reckon. Anyway, there’s a new world of rules now, and it’s associated with blogging and social media in general. I started blogging more than a year ago. I didn’t go anywhere or read anything or seek any advice, I just knew it was something I wanted/needed to do and so I did it. As it’s evolved, I’ve learnt a lot, launched another professional blog, and I’m working it out as I go, generally finding that what I write seems to resonate with some pretty respectable folk. Both of the blogs are growing in readership, people are generally positive, and while both are very different, they seem to be achieving good things. But what’s starting to annoy me is the constant, incessant and never ending “rules” doing the rounds about blogging – well pretty much all social media. I should be clear, I’m not talking about guidance or advice, I’m talking about rules – that’s what’s shitting me. The difference between rules and guidance is “this is what you must do to succeed” versus “this is what has worked for me and I’m passing on that experience.” I read a lot of different takes on this world, take on board some of it, but the reality is, the people who launched this “new world” weren’t following any rules, they created it, but now people want to apply rules to it. I appreciate that this is a sign of something maturing, but if everyone follows the rules all the time, it’s going to get very very boring and become predictable. I sincerely hope that doesn’t happen. This “issue” became more apparent to me recently. One of the ways to extend blog reach beyond your community is Twitter. I finally joined up a little while ago and have two streams – @withoutbollocks and @SAJEIdeas – both are very very different, focused on my two worlds – professional and personal. Since starting, I often sit there and look at the stream, bewildered by all the rules doing the rounds, as I ask myself – why do human beings feel the need to apply rules to everything? What a sure way to kill creativity! I actually find it all a bit depressing. Sharing wisdom is great but constantly being told how to do things, well that’s what gets to me. If someone asked me for my “guidance” I’d say If you want to blog, for whatever reason, do it and have fun Read and share advice from great people offer it based on experience rather than rules, but I’d make sure that what I/you share is relevant to the person receiving it. While it’s always great to read other’s advice, try not to follow it unless it resonates with you. Only you know what you want to achieve and there may be no rules available to help you do that I’d suggest you write well and if you can’t, work hard at improving – because the biggest turn off is bad writing – but don’t let that stop you. Friends and family especially, can be quite forgiving, and great blogs are always more important than great execution – but it does help Get going, observe your world, write, have fun, listen to your readers, ask for feedback, change tack if you’re not getting the response you want and give it time to build – and it really does take time to build credibility. People can take time to realise that you’re someone worth their effort to follow – especially with a professional blog as you will have attention “competition” Market your blog as widely as you can to get readership beyond your immediate community – if you want that – Google+ and Twitter are great tools for this Grow a thick skin – some people scan the Web looking to be turds and sometimes people you know personally can be turds. If you’re going to be controversial don’t expect everyone to love you for it And finally, DON’T FOLLOW THE RULES unless they work for you The most important thing is to enjoy it and build something that sits well with you. Some of the advice doing the rounds is great, but some of it is just “air” so beware the eager advice giver, especially when things are positioned as rules. We’ve all got to do things in our own way, and who knows, if you don’t follow the rules, you might start a new revolution – that is how it was started after all? You certainly can’t evolve any medium if you only follow. As with most things, just because something works for someone else, doesn’t mean it works for you. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

You know I love my boys right? I mean I’m their mum and therefore, they’re amazing. Naturally you might not agree with me that my kids are amazing, but if you’ve got your own kids, you’ll at least think they’re amazing. It’s one of those irrational qualities parents have and it’s probably a handy human trait – otherwise I think we’d all be abandoning our kids and running for the hills, because bloody hell, they can be challenging little turds at times. No this isn’t a climbing frame So, we were at the British Club on Sunday, and both of the boys were being pains in the arse for whatever reason – both of them are going through belligerent stages. On this particular day, Steve had had enough of them and I was in a more accepting mood – we do tend to take it in turns. There was a point when all three boys were engaged, so I had an opportunity to observe other parents dealing with their kids – around the same age as ours – who were also being pains in the arse but for different reasons – such as being sooks (or sulking for the non-Aussies,) throwing temper tantrums, or whatever. Later on Steve said: “I just wish our lads could be quiet and compliant, just some of the time.” While I agree with him, the reality is, all kids are a pain in the arse at some point and in some ways, and compliant or not, no one’s got it any easier. Kids are just being kids, finding their way and figuring out who they are right? My boys don’t have temper tantrums and they’re not sooks, but they don’t listen and they stretch the boundaries of safe play every day, which is turning Steve grey and making me more haggard, but they’re great little buggers too. The other day, when I was hanging out with them at an indoor playground (and as they couldn’t give two shits if I was there or not,) I decided to take some notes on the things they do that absolutely shit me to tears. A favorite for Lex And here they are… 1.    Dressing – getting kids dressed from the day they are born goes from being a fun activity to a big pain in the arse very, very quickly. When the boys were little, Steve used to describe the process as not dissimilar to wrestling a bucket full of eels covered in KY Jelly….. Despite the slipperiness, in the early days it was relatively controllable. Now you’ve got to get them to stand in one place, face you and participate in the getting dressed activities – not that they want a bar of dressing themselves of course, they’re too busy eyeing up the next challenge. Our boys are independent in many ways, but dressing themselves holds zero interest. OH, and let’s not forget my two fashion conscious tykes actually want to choose their own clothes now…. awesome, another 40 minutes added to the morning rush process!!! Getting shoes on and off is also another annoying part of getting dressed and I am just very thankful for Crocs, as well as for living in a warm climate where not too much clothing or accessories are required 2.    Brushing teeth – as a general rule, I would rather eat l’escargot than brush Jax’s teeth – since five months old, he has been a complete pain in the arse when it comes to brushing – my word he carries on, but naturally, it stops as soon as the brushing stops, so it can’t be that bad? Anyone would think we were torturing him. On another level, we hope never to be told he has a tender gum issue, otherwise we’re going to feel like complete arseholes! Thankfully, Lex is a dream with teeth brushing 3.    Car antics – getting them in and out of the car – what a bloody sideshow we must look like every time we turn up somewhere!! They’ve recently started hanging their heads out the window while the car is moving, they spend a lot of time on the back parcel shelf, on the floor where it’s difficult to get them, they love to climb on top of the car (yes the roof but only when the car is stationary thank god,) and constantly want to turn on every light, press every button, open every compartment, lock the doors, etc, etc… “Just get out of the bloody car” is my usual response to the situation and let’s not forget we are living in a steamy place, so stuffing around is exacerbated by being stuck in a hot, airless car park. I have to admit that the only time I come close to panic is when I am stuck in a hot, airless environment, so I’m not a happy camper with these antics in particular This always ends up a mud bath      4.      Public loos – anything to do with public toilets! I know how clean the toilets are at home, but public toilets I do not, and my ever curious chaps are into EVERYTHING. “Do not touch the blue box, it is full of used sanitary napkins” – “do not touch any part of the toilet bowl it is covered in pee” – “do not touch the toilet floor or let your clothes touch the toilet floor because it is filthy” – “do not touch the rubbish bin because it’s a rubbish bin” – and Steve’s favourite (which I have not been able to witness) is “don’t touch the deodorizers in the urinals please.” I can only imagine what the neighbouring pee-ers think when they hear me carrying on in a public toilet. I absolutely hate going anywhere near them with my boys, because in some cases, the toilets aren’t high enough for Jax and he can’t help but touch it 5.    Nagging and being ignored – being a bloody nag and not

Being a bit of a voracious reader, I enjoy the opportunity to blog about my most recent reads, and this week I’ve gone from rock stars to leadership. This time it’s “The Leader Who Had No Title” by Robin Sharma. I’ve read one other book by Robin – “The Monk who Sold His Ferrari” and I have to admit that I find his style of writing extremely corny BUT the message contained within is very powerful, so he’s not to be underestimated. I definitely think there is method to his madness, because he is conveying some very complex stuff in a simple way, so as a result, folks that wouldn’t normally read these types of books can gain the benefit of his insight. His aim is simple – to get every human being on the planet working at their very best, across all aspects of their lives, and being a leader in their field, no matter what they are doing. So as the book says, if you’re a street sweeper, be the Michelangelo of street sweepers. Robin Sharma is a change and leadership expert and he consults the biggest companies in the world. He is obviously respected, and the one thing he believes is companies need to empower all employees to be leaders, no matter what level they are at – be it a janitor or the CEO. It certainly makes a lot of sense. But it’s not just about leadership in the workplace, it’s about personal leadership, plus it’s also full of good life reminders and a collection of awesome quotes from famous people – some alive and some long gone – that are “nourishing.” Personally, it makes a lot of sense to me right now. Since reading it, I have definitely started to wake up in the morning and rather than think “ahhh I want more sleep,” I quickly change my mindset and think more about how can I be the best in all that I do – with myself, my work, my boys and my man. So it’s been a really good thing for me right now when life feels a little bit arduous. One of the early parts of the book that I thought was worth sharing is “The 10 Human Regrets.” So even if you don’t read it, I reckon this stuff is good and ALWAYS worth keeping front and centre. “The 10 Human Regrets 1.       You reach your last day with the brilliant song that your life was meant to sing still silent within you 2.      You reach your last day without ever having experienced the natural power that inhabits you to do great work and achieve great things 3.      You reach your last day realizing that you never inspired anyone else by the example that you set 4.      You reach your last day full of pain at the realisation that you never took any bold risks and so you never received any bright rewards 5.      You reach your last day understanding that you missed the opportunity to catch a glimpse of mastery because you bought into the lie that you had to be resigned to mediocrity 6.      You reach your last day and feel heartbroken that you never learned the skill of transforming adversity into victory and lead into gold 7.      You reach your last day regretting that you forgot that work is about being radically helpful to others rather than being helpful only to yourself 8.      You reach your last day with the awareness that you ended up living the life that society trained you to want versus leading the life you truly wanted to have 9.      You reach your last day and awaken to the fact that you never realised your absolute best nor touched the special genius that you were built to become 10.   You reach your last day and discover you could have been a leader and left this world so much better than you found it. But you refused to accept that mission because you were just too scared. And so you failed. And wasted a life” Good reminders don’t you think? I definitely know I don’t I have too many regrets because I’ve always been focused on living life to the full, but if I look at this list, the most work I have to do is on nine and 10, although we’re close to achieving six right now, and we won’t give up until we do. For me, 10 is about creating the opportunities I want to create so that I can leave this world better than I found it, and I believe that, no matter how small, I can make a difference. Nine I’m really focused on this now, and this blog is definitely part of that bigger dream towards reaching my “special” genius. It’s my focus because I know I am yet to reach my absolute best – I’ve done really well in a lot of areas, but my absolute best – not yet. I will though. I’m determined. So if you need a kick in the arse, want to get more focused, are sick of being a victim or find yourself blaming everyone and everything for your failures, or just know that sometimes a good reminder is all you need to get refocused, then you can do a lot worse than read this book. I think Robin is doing something admirable here and his Robin Sharma blog is good too if you want to check it out – definitely not as corny. Robin didn’t just write a book, he’s starting a movement, so check it out if this sort of stuff is your bag. I might buy it for a few people. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Wot-eva!! Yeah I know, age is a state of mind and all that, but one can never ignore the physical and mental things that happen when the years start ticking by. Number 10 on my list happened recently, and it got me thinking, as I am known to do. As such, here you have my top 10 things either I hate (or friends have said they hate) about getting old. Maybe you could add your insights and least favourite bits? Here we go: You finally get the opportunity to sleep for 10 hours straight and your body says, fuck you, no-can-do, because your body aches so much, you can’t stay in bed even when you want to. It’s definitely time to make that osteo/physio/chiro appointment a priority huh? You start getting a little bit forgetful, even forgetting what you were saying in the middle of saying it, although that could be a post-pregnancy thing… Somewhere along the way your toenails start getting a little bit thicker and harder to chop – but never your fingernails, oh no – they’re still thin and flaky thank you very much Your skins starts taking on a more crêpey texture, especially your hands, your chest, neck, and of course, your face…. I’ve also noticed that, for some people, this is the time when liver spots start appearing on their hands, and all that sun damage starts showing up too – with brown sun spots suddenly appearing everywhere A great friend once told me that her pubes were going grey… I can’t attest to this as a fact, but if I could, it should definitely be on this list, as well as head hair and other body hair going grey – again, not one of my challenges in the aging process at this point in my life You start hearing yourself saying things like “the young people today don’t know how good they’ve got it” and “when I was young…” – remember how it annoyed the shit out of you when your parent’s said stuff like that? Any bad habits you’ve been hanging onto start playing havoc with the mind, because you now start facing your own mortality and recognise that it’s probably a good time to clean up your act before it is too late You hit an age where regular doctor’s appointments must be made to check up on things that have more of a chance of biting you in the arse. You may recall my blog post about my first mammogram? Other examples include men getting their prostates checked more thoroughly; colonoscopies suggested more readily; blood tests becoming the norm; and so on. You know, shit like that? People start discussing the desire to undertake huge physical challenges, like doing the Everest Base Camp trek before you’re 50 (Sujay) or competing in an Iron man competition, or maybe even just a simple triathlon – we want to know we’ve still got it right? And the shittiest aspect of aging, and one I experienced recently – you lose your “Bar Presence” a.k.a. one’s ability to get the barman’s attention. This is a poignant time in your life as you jostle for attention against all of the young, fresh faced beauties you are competing with, and while good on them, I just want a drink please? Not to mention, older people usually have more money and tip better, so bar staff, think of your wallet and not your penis. Besides, I know a few older broads who could teach you a trick or two in the sack anyway! There you go. Anything else to add on this lovely Friday afternoon? We could have some fun. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

If you’re in need of a good yarn to read, one that will curl your toes and leave you wincing at times, then I can highly recommend Steven Tyler’s “Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?” I picked it up because I needed a break from the serious stuff I’ve been devouring of late, but I’ve got to say, it wasn’t much of a break. In fact, it’s a bit of a heart racer – I mean can any human really do that many drugs and live? And he doesn’t apologize for it – it was what is was back in the day, and I’m just pleased he’s still around to tell his tale. I think a lot of people renewed their love affair with Steven Tyler when he became American Idol’s favourite judge this year, and he was indeed a sweetheart – “beautiful, just beautiful.” His autobiography was amazing for many reasons. I loved the story behind his musical passion, starting with a boyhood sitting under his Dad’s grand piano listening to Debussy, to his family’s Italian band dynasty, all the way through to his passion behind rock ’n’ roll and how & why he wrote what he wrote. I loved the insight into what it really takes to be a rock star and how he developed his “image.” The story of his mother was gorgeous and she was one hell of a woman – an inspiration. The women in his life, the groupies and the sex – I don’t know he kept it up. Then there were his kids, whom he adores, but obviously the regrets are deep because you don’t get much time at home when you’re a rock star – definitely a passionate Dad. When he takes you through a day in the life of a rock star, you wonder why anyone would choose it? Furthermore, who knew that being a rock star, prancing around the stage for 40 years could play such havoc on your body, especially your feet? And the “marriage” with his band members – my word there were some shit times. Then we have the wives and their impact on the band – some were particularly nasty. The managers, and everyone else involved in running a mega band like Aerosmith – so much betrayal. The media and the sensationalism – crikey that would be intense. And of course, the drugs and the addictions, which magnified all of the other negative situations – phew, it was exhausting just reading about it. But the best thing about this book? I don’t think I’ve ever read something written quite this way before. Steven Tyler certainly has a way with words, which was apparent on American Idol this year and in the lyrics to his songs, and I am probably a fan of the book for this reason above all others. I love crudity and it comes spilling out of him in droves. There’s not too much PC’ness in here – awesome. Some of my favourite lines – but there are millions more – include: “Now the blues is, was, and always has been the bitch’s brew of the tormented soul.” “I can’t think of that girl’s name now, but god, she was the skinniest, cutest little trollop.” “Did I want to get that song out with its head crowning out of the vagina of the music? YES!” In regards to Pamela Anderson “I’d drink a gallon of her piss just to see where it comes from.” And some words of wisdom at the end “Along with everything else that’s happened, life is good. And I’ve learnt that if I shoot an arrow of truth, I must first dip its point in honey. I’ve learned the ancient lesson of apology – OWN IT. It puts out every fire you may have walked through in life. People, too, often miss the silver lining because they were expecting gold. I’ve seen the sun go down, only to be swallowed by the ocean! Only to rise again in the morning.” A self-confessed ADD, I’m glad he wasn’t born today because he would’ve been put on Ritalin to calm down that manic head and body, and then we wouldn’t have the Steven Tyler we have today. I have to admit that I’ve never been an Aerosmith fan, but of Steven Tyler, a fan I now am. He is also an inspiration that you can reach your 60s and still be cool. Well worth a read, but if you’re a prude, you might not enjoy it as much as I did. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I’ve never been scared of confronting my own head. In fact, I first started doing it unconsciously when I backpacked for months at a time on my own. It’s amazing what can go on “upstairs” when you’ve got no one else to talk to. I found those times very therapeutic, as it gave me the opportunity to look deep within, challenge my thinking on deeply entrenched or fixed ideas, as well as the opportunity to contrast everything I thought I knew, with some of the wonderful and not so wonderful things I was seeing on my travels. Because I was able to do this, I shook a lot of the “life shit” away that I didn’t even know I was carrying until I had this chance to confront myself. Roll forward to nearly five years ago and I become a mum. There’s no question I love and adore my lads, but in many ways, I’ve found the whole transition into motherhood pretty challenging and felt quite lost in it for a while. Essentially I didn’t know how to be me, while doing the best job I could and loving the boys with my whole heart. As a result, the boys won – as they always came first – but I was finding myself getting pretty unhappy with the whole package that was my life. So a couple of years ago, I decided to go really hard and challenge my head and heart at a whole new level. As always, I started reading. I read spiritual books, religious books, non-spiritual books and anti-religious books, books by contentious conspiracy theorists, history books, as well as biographies by great people I respected. All of them gave me things to think about and I decided my quest was to understand the universe – how it all goes together, what it all means, and develop a much deeper understanding of what life is all about. I know that I will never get there (in this physical life anyway,) but I enjoy the challenge of always striving towards it, because what if some of the ideas out there are true? I’d have to say that no single book has ever won me over completely , although there’s definitely a few I’ve enjoyed immensely. The reality is, I’m not looking for a belief system, nor do I want to follow something already created. It’s just not me. I’ve always preferred taking a whole bunch of different opinions and mashing them together so I can come up with my own ideas because all ideas are valid to me…. that’s my preferred way of absorbing information and beliefs anyway. I’ve had one guide on this journey so far, Peter Hoddle in Australia, and he taught me to meditate – which felt like such a miracle for the crazy-headed me, but he also took me on my first past life regression, and since then, I’ve managed to do a few on my own. Very cool. I loved working with Peter and hope I can meet others that can give me some new ideas, because that’s what it’s all about I reckon –finding others on a questioning path and seeing where they are and why. I think more and more people are doing this now for sure.   One of things I’ve discovered is as you dig and probe and question and reassess your values and decide you’re going to believe in the law of attraction or manifestation or whatever and then accept that all is as it’s meant to be and that there is a larger purpose at play in the universe and that your path is defined to give you challenges to learn even though the learning can be quite painful sometimes and and and AND – well sometimes you get a bit worn out by it all. The other thing is when you strip yourself bare, before you can come screaming back to the light, you get REALLY bloody down. I’ve heard that the process of enlightenment can never be quick because we are not capable of handling it, so you’ve got to go in stages, and every time you meld a new understanding into your being, it leaves you ready to explore the next stage. Which means you go down again, take it in, come up feeling new and shiny, before heading on to the next stage. It’s been about two years now, and I’ve loved the evolution of my thinking and my values, but I’d like a little break now to relax and breathe. The problem is my head won’t let me. It seems that when you start this process you’ve got to be in it ‘til the end. But then, can it ever end? I love it and hate it at the same time, because it ain’t easy at all… but the emotional highs are a pure high, so it’s not all bad. I know I won’t stop, because I can’t – I’m laid fully open now, and once opened, it doesn’t seem that you can close up again, but maybe I can just have a little holiday from it? I’m curious to know if any of my dear readers are going through the same thing? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

National Geographic ran a cracking article a couple of months ago – “Opium Wars” – in relation to what’s going down in Afghanistan. It was a tough article because it seems no one is winning there – well apart from the drug lords and the corrupt officials of course. The local police and officials are being bombed, maimed, killed and terrorised The local growers, just trying to feed their families, are starving whenever their crops get slashed by the officials, so quite rightly, they’re getting pissed off and supporting “the bad guys” all the while continuing to grow poppies no matter what International troops trying to manage this situation are being attacked, injured and killed The Taliban is getting billions of dollars to fund their war on whoever is pissing them off today, or innocents just getting in the way Suffice to say, it’s a fucked situation and the drug is still making its way to market and screwing up even more lives. More of a worry though is that the supply has increased, driving prices down, which means more is available, so more are getting hooked, but what does that mean for the “end-user?” Dealers are cutting the drugs with dangerous substances to make more money. It’s a vicious chain of events, destroying entre generations…. Here’s an idea of how big the drug issue is in Afghanistan according to Wikipedia, and interestingly, it’s grown since the Taliban have been overthrown: “Afghanistan is, as of March, 2010, the greatest illicit opium producer in the entire world, ahead of Burma (Myanmar) and the “Golden Triangle.” Afghanistan is the main producer of opium in “Golden Crescent.” Opium production in Afghanistan has been on the rise since U.S. occupation started in 2001. Based on UNODC data, there has been more opium poppy cultivation in each of the past four growing seasons (2004–2007) than in any one year during Taliban rule. Also, more land is now used for opium in Afghanistan than for coca cultivation in Latin America. In 2007, 92% of the opiates on the world market originated in Afghanistan. This amounts to an export value of about $4 billion, with a quarter being earned by opium farmers and the rest going to district officials, insurgents, warlords, drug traffickers. In the seven years (1994–2000) prior to a Taliban opium ban, the Afghan farmers’ share of gross income from opium was divided among 200,000 families. In addition to opiates, Afghanistan is also the largest producer of hashish in the world.” Then this week AVAAZ announced that, as a result of their petition presented to the UN, along with the support of Richard Branson (nice one Sir,) “UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has decided to create a task force to look at new solutions to the problem of drugs.” Apparently “any debate around ending the war on drugs has been quashed. In official circles, it’s “taboo” to talk the about regulation or decriminalisation” and many have lost their jobs when trying to get discussions going. So the “War on Drugs,” which is expected to cost the US government alone US$23.44 billion in 2011 and has seen trillions make its way into organised crime, and only now they’ve decided it’s time to “talk” about it? Does that strike anyone else as completely insane? But look at the figures – the export value out of Afghanistan is US$4 billion, and the cost of the war on drugs is US$23.44 billion, and while I appreciate that this figure is global (and that the US is also dealing with drug issues closer to home in South and Central America,) the farmers in Afghanistan, who are growing the opium, get US$1 billion for their work. And that brings me to a hopeful point, as maybe there is a solution – provided by a complete stranger living in the UK. Mike Davis, from Cheltenham in England, wrote a letter to the editor of National Geographic this month and he said “why don’t we buy the crops ourselves and turn it not into heroin but into medical morphine, for which there is a great demand?” Brilliant. Simple. Brilliant. Pay the families in Afghanistan more than the drug lords for the crop, their families get to eat and become our “friends,” we get a constant supply of morphine or whatever drug can be created to help humanity, and everyone wins, except the shitty guys selling it up the illegal drug chain + the addicts who ain’t gunna be too happy, but hey, there’ll be more morphine available? Simple is usually the best approach right? But what would I know…. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea