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I was brought up Catholic. I don’t mind that heritage because it’s given me a very deep understanding of religion as a whole and I like that. However, very early on, I decided practising and following Catholicism wasn’t for me because too many questions had no answers, other than “have faith.” Faith is fine, but you know, sometimes an answer to a simple question would be nice as well. For me, too much was unexplained, too many ideas didn’t sit well, and essentially, as a female, how could I continue to support a religion that made me inferior just because of my genitalia? No, it wasn’t for me, but I continued to read extensively on all faiths, because I’m a history buff and it’s just bloody interesting as the whole world has evolved to where it is today with religion at the core. As a result of my early “education”, I spent my 20s working very hard to get rid of Catholic guilt (a HUGE challenge) and started to consider the fact that I didn’t believe in God at all. I never successfully achieved an atheist mind-set (although I tried), but I was close to being a fully fledged agnostic.   The only problem with all of this was I kept experiencing lots of weird stuff – strange happenings and co-incidences – but ultimately, it was the fact I was haunted (starting 10 years ago) by a randy ghost that made me consider there could be something very big and very unexplained going on in the universe. So I started reading more broadly, covering all sorts of topics on souls, angels, the afterlife, quantum physics, and much much more, as well as reading some interesting authors like Deepak Chopra, Dr. Brian Weiss and NealeDonald Walsch, to name a few. But I also read opposite points of view, like Christopher Hitchens, (although I haven’t read Richard Dawkins yet but I’ll get to it) and I even accidentally read the conspiracy theorist David Icke. I can tell you one thing, reading Icke might leave you with a million questions, most of them along the lines of “are you on crack?” – but he does have an ability to make you look at the world in a very different way. Because the truth of the matter is, I don’t know who is right or even if there is any right. Recently I read two more “God” books and the first one “End of Faith – Religion, Terror and theFuture of Reason” by Sam Harris blew me away. Not only is it a very brave and honest book, but I also think it is one of the most beautifully written books I’ve ever read. This man is a master of the English language. But the book is very powerful, and no religion or society gets off lightly. His focus in the book is religion has the capacity to destroy us and all because men and women are staking “the future of our species on beliefs that should not survive an elementary school education. And then: “religion is as much a living spring of violence today as it was at any time in the past.” He then lists out some recent faith conflicts: Palestine – Jews Vs Muslims The Balkans – Orthodox Serbians Vs Catholic Croatians; Orthodox Serbians Vs Bosnian and Albanian Muslims Northern Ireland – Protestants Vs Catholics Kashmir – Muslim Vs Hindus Sudan – Muslim Vs Christians and Animists Nigeria – Muslim Vs Christians Ethiopia and Eritrea – Muslim Vs Christians Sri Lanka – Sinhalese Buddhists Vs Tamil Hindus Indonesia – Muslim Vs Timorese Christians The Caucasus – Orthodox Russians Vs Chechen Muslims, Muslim Azerbaijanis Vs Catholic and Orthodox Armenians Of course the list could go on and on and on, but it makes you think. One comment, that I found quite alarming, is the fact that with extremism on the rise in many Muslim countries, most other faiths are on the demise in the rest of the world. What does this mean? People who have a belief worth fighting for are a lot more impassioned than those who do not, and he quite rightly points out that this alone could result in the end of the world…. Very hopeful huh? Some stand out observations: “Whenever you hear that people have begun killing non-combatants intentionally and indiscriminately, ask yourself  what dogma stands at their backs. What do these freshly minted killers believe? You will find that it is always – always – preposterous.” “I have just described a plausible scenario in which much of the world’s population could be annihilated on account of religious ideas that belong on the same shelf with Batman, the philosoper’s stone, and unicorns.” “It is time we recognised that all reasonable men and women have a common enemy. It is an enemy so near to us, and so deceptive, that we keep its counsel even as it threatens to destroy the very possibility of human happiness. Our enemy is nothing other than faith itself.” On the subject of honour killings (due to rape): “any culture that raises men and boys to kill unlucky girls, rather than comfort them, is a culture that has managed to retard the growth of love. Such societies, of course, regularly fail to teach their inhabitants many other things – like how to read. Not learning how to read is not another style of literacy, and not learning to see others as ends in themselves is not another style of ethics. It is a failure of ethics.” There are so many more quotes that I could include, because he really does have a way of saying things that resonated deeply with me but that’s enough for now. However it’s important to point out that this is NOT an anti-faith/spirituality/God book – I saw it as an anti-organised religion book. He fully accepts there’s something much bigger out there in the universe going on, unexplained, not understood – but how this “stuff” has been interpreted

There’s a lot being written and talked about these days on the importance of us all loving one another, and accepting that we are not separate, but rather a whole mass of energy that makes up one whole. In relation to love, I think the message is a wonderful thing, but at the same time I find it confusing. It’s hard to take on board because it is a concept defined in a way that contradicts how we’ve been “taught” about love – as in something you do with those closest to you. I mean, how do you love someone you don’t even know? But for our world to evolve and become more magnificent, it seems that we have to love, and I’m happy to do that, because we need to bring down the societal, cultural and racial walls that continue to divide us. It is time. Essentially I interpret this as good thoughts and deeds towards all – so it’s not hard right? Well it shouldn’t be for most… Where did this come from? I’ve just finished reading Dr.Brian Weiss’ “Messages from the Masters” and he reminded me of the greater, universal concept of love once again. I read a couple of his books many years ago, which I found really wonderful and I have to say, I like the way he writes. I like his message because it’s a practical, honest and a not too airy-fairy take on some wonderful, life-changing concepts. Coming to fame with his past-life regression books (such as Many Lives, Many Masters and Only Love is Real), and experiencing a lot of negative shit for discussing this stuff, I think Brian Weiss is one of the good guys, contributing a lot to the world. For anyone else interested in this area, I can definitely recommend his work. The past life information alone is fascinating. In “Messages from the Masters” he talks about the fact that there is only one religion in the world, and that is the Religion of Love. The idea appeals to me (even if religion doesn’t), especially when he maps the world’s religions side-by-side and compares philosophies. Suffice to say, all religion is saying the same thing, so why do we have Holy Wars? Because there certainly can’t be anything “holy” about war – right?   So getting back to love. A little while ago I read an Anthony Robbins book and set myself the task of being happy every day for 10 days straight. I failed every time. I don’t know why it’s hard to maintain a state of happiness, but right now, at this time in my life, it is. I will continue to aim to be happy all day every day, but in the meantime I’ve decided on a new approach, and that is to exude love from every fibre of my being. As love is energy, I reckon the exuding of it is going to be great for me and I’m hoping it helps me manoeuvre through the days to a calmer, happier place. Obviously most of my exuding will be focused on my family – especially my boys when they drive me nuts, which happens on a regular basis. With that said, I wasn’t exuding too much love yesterday when the boys pissed off up the beach out of my sight and into a storm drain…. grrrrrrr. Therefore, if you see me in the coming weeks and think I’m acting a bit weird, don’t worry, I’m just exuding. Anyone want to try it with me? All you have to do is think loving thoughts… Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I recently commented on a LinkedIn conversation on ‘TED: Ideas Worth Spreading.’ The conversations are pretty interesting with this group if you’re interested. Anyways a member asked the question: “If you could stop all people from doing one thing what would it be? With the granting of a single wish, you can change mankind forever, what would you want to change, or is it best to leave it to evolution to decide for us?” I would love to see all mankind stop judging. Stop judging those closest to us or even on a broader scale where we judge races, religions, societies or cultures. Judgment always feels wrong to me, because no one ever has the full picture on any situation and therefore, because of this, judgment can only be flawed. Unfortunately it seems to be something in all of us, and when I find myself judging anything, I try to correct myself and ask, why would I do that? And I know the answer – because I’m human. So what is your ONE thing you’d like to change in humankind forever? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

My friend Karl took umbrage about my post on MSG, suggesting that my opinion on it was not a convincing enough perspective as it was not backed up by referenced research. He also believed that my conclusions on MSG were unfounded based on his own understanding of the topic. I pride myself on being well-informed, and while I am only expressing my personal opinions on any topic in this blog, I don’t believe I do so from a place of ignorance – except when it comes to the Kardashian sisters. When something interests me, I read multiple perspectives and use my brain to draw conclusions, even if all of the information is not clearly presented in a nice little package. It will come as no surprise that I believe MSG is a VERY bad and toxic additive in our food chain, and I am convinced it will be proven in my lifetime, as was the case with Transfats. While the last blog was focused on MSG – because I was having such a shocking reaction to it at the time – I also believe things like artificial sweeteners (like Aspartame), High Fructose Corn Syrup, unnatural food dyes, Sodium Nitrite, BHA and BHT (E320), Soy, Tatrazine, and many, many other things are all poisons in our food chain. Heck I recently read an article stating that wheat has been manipulated to such a point, with significantly less varieties available than we had 100 years ago, even eating a whole grain diet is now harmful to us…. but that’s another topic. Getting back to MSG. It was “discovered” in its natural form just over 100 years ago. MSG was then extracted and has been sold commercially around the world ever since. The real challenge with MSG does not come in its natural form, but in the way it is fermented on a massive commercial scale and is now found in just about everything we eat – essentially if it’s not in its raw form, it’s got MSG. The mass production of MSG started in the 1950s and has only grown, and many believe it is the fermentation process applied to its mass production that is creating an inferior and poisonous product – here’s another perspective. For me Soy, amongst many other additives, sits in the same bucket  – the mass production techniques are making it bad – why else go to so much effort to “sell” it as a healthy alternative? I’m not going to try and convince you of anything here, just wanted to share some research and my personal thoughts on various issues, which I believe are linked to MSG and other additives. There’s a lot of shit in our food chain that scares the crap out of me – crikey we’re even eating genetically modified salmon – and they don’t even know what the long term impact will be? Not just that, the majority of governments are not making it mandatory for it to be labelled, which means the consumer can’t even make an informed decision about buying it? That’s outrageous to me. I do not believe that any of us are even remotely capable of understanding the big picture and the impact this is going to have on our minds and bodies, because there is not a co-ordinated or global approach to this topic – but the increase in certain “diseases” and mental illnesses (like Alzheimers and Autism) seem to have a direct correlation to the rise of shite in our food chain. That is my personal belief. Suffice to say, it would take a LOT to convince me otherwise. There is so much more I could say on this, so many arguments I could raise, so many concerns I could discuss, I could talk about the food manufacturing industry’s self interest, the power of lobbying groups, research that supports the arguments for this crap, the fact that livestock is fed on soy and corn so even if we try to avoid it we still get it in our bodies if we’re not vegetarians, and so much more, but then I’d have to write a book – and I am not an expert on this topic, just a very concerned consumer. However, I wanted to share my perspective because it WORRIES ME, but I am not saying I’m right. I could be so far off the mark it’s not funny, but I don’t think I am. For me, having read multiple perspectives on this and other issues, I remain convinced that something very very bad is going on in our food chain, and the corresponding increases in certain diseases, for me, are proof of that. The problem is nothing is conclusive on this topic, because we are not looking at these issues from a global perspective and the data is not being collected in a unified way – so how can we ever prove it if we aren’t even trying to look at it seamlessly? Another argument is that the massive increase in mental illness is being attributed to the fact that people are living longer. As the baby boomers enter their dotage, age is being cited as the key reason for the increases – nothing to do with additives and preservatives. But that argument doesn’t wash with me when I look at statistics on autism, ADHD, etc… Typically considered “young” people’s diseases…   One thing is for sure, if you read any of the research below, the governments of the world are SHITTING themselves, because these increases are going to cost TRILLIONS for the healthcare industry – awesome for the drug companies huh? Perhaps rather than drugging them, or taking any other approach, governments can assess additives and preservatives as a priority? But then, it’s not going to be a current government’s problem is it, so why bother? As my friend Karl said, a person starving to death doesn’t care if is MSG in the food. He is right. But that is a different issue. The issue

For Lex’s second birthday, my friend Julie gave him a Kiva voucher. Kiva is a wonderful, award winning, and highly regarded non-profit with a “mission to connect people through lending to alleviate poverty. Leveraging the internet and a worldwide network of microfinance institutions, Kiva lets individuals lend as little as $25 to help create opportunity around the world.” Since Julie gave us this gift, I’ve increased the amount of money we have circulating in Kiva (although I wish it was more) and I am constantly lending $25 to people all over the world, running all sorts of businesses, and the common thread is they all just need a small amount of money to flourish. I tend to sponsor women entrepreneurs, but you can sponsor men and groups too – the great thing is you read the profiles and select where your money goes based on who resonates with you. You also have an option to contribute towards Kiva’s operating expenses, but it’s not compulsory. As you can probably tell, I think this is an amazing organisation and it allows me to contribute to a greater good – something important to me. So as Christmas is coming up, I thought I’d help spread the word for anyone looking to do something a little different, and perhaps buy Kiva vouchers for friends and families for Christmas. No pressure of course, but if you need to buy something for someone who has everything, or you’re just sick of the whole commercialisation of Christmas, or the holiday season for my non-Christian friends, here’s a way to help and give a really special gift that definitely keeps on giving. Just sharing the love. Yours, without the bollocksAndrea

We had our coffees and were getting our heads down to work when the phone rings, and as gently as possible Lex’s teacher explains to us there’s been an accident. Lex was running too fast, tripped on a table, his head made contact with the edge of said table, all resulting in a cut on the head that they said would probably require stitches. We were reassured that our little man was OK after a good crying session, and that he was calm and sitting there with an icepack on his head. Naturally we needed to go and get him. Steve said I’ll go, and I said, no I’ll go, but then we realised we both had to go because who knew what our little love was about to face when we took him to the doctors? Stitches (and other serious stuff) have been unchartered territory for us so far, which is definitely amazing considering the antics of our lads. We drove in silence to school, feeling very anxious and not saying much to each other. Holding hands while driving was the only sign of the apprehension we were both feeling. The most shocking thing when we arrived is Lex’s face was completely yellow – SHIT is it that bad? Oh it’s just paint. Oh that’s good, that’s very good. The cut wasn’t too deep, and Lex was bloody thrilled to have both Mum and Dad there to pick him up. Off to the doctors, a triple layer of glue, Lex was a champion, and afterwards he got a brave boy present. It actually turned out to be an opportunity to spend some time together with Lex – and that is something he loves. So all is good, but shite, this parenting malarkey…. Yours, without the bollocksAndrea

I had some Thai food yesterday over a business lunch. I actually chose the restaurant, knowing that the chance of additional MSG in the food was high. The restaurant was just an easier choice, and besides, I’ve been avoiding it for so long, it’s always kind of interesting to see how I react. Well react I did, with the most crippling headache for about eight hours, and a “restless leg” sleep – always a sign that shit is in my body. So today I feel shattered and out of whack. At least I didn’t get all of the symptoms I usually get – racing heart, diarrhoea, heaty headache, and more. I discovered a low tolerance for MSG not long after arriving in Singapore eight years ago. I would go to all of the wonderful hawker centres in Singapore with my mates and be screwed for the rest of the day or evening. But the worst has always been Thai restaurants, and it doesn’t matter how posh the restaurant, they all seem to overload their food with “taste good salt” – as the old aunties like to call it round here. But it’s not just Asian food. I can’t eat any junk food without getting itchy skin or feeling nauseous, and if I have soy sauce, chips, or any other crap, I have a bad night’s sleep. So this is not just an Asian food discussion, as many seem to think. You see, once I realised what was going on, I started to research MSG and it’s quite frightening what I found. For every article on why MSG is bad, you’ll find 20 talking about its virtues. Check out Wikipedia’s definition, which I’d say is pro and definitely unbalanced, and here’s MSGTruth, an article on Blessed Quietness and Truth In Labelling – all of which fall into the “anti” category. But there is progress – while looking for anti-MSG articles today, more came up higher in the search results. Eight years ago I had to dig deep to find anything anti – so it seems momentum is building. For people like me, pro-MSG researchers say I’m allergic to it (which is 1% of cases), whereas anti-MSG research suggests I’m sensitive to it. This is a big difference, because being sensitive to it is a very good thing – when you are sensitive to it you avoid it because you have such a bad time on it, whereas those who are not sensitive keep munching away on the shit. The reality is, just because you don’t have a reaction doesn’t mean it’s not doing bad things to your body. The worst thing is, MSG is bloody everywhere. If it’s in a packet it’s got MSG, in a tin it’s got MSG, diet dairy products have MSG, cheese flavouring of any description is MSG, plane food is full of it, all pre-prepared food is full of it, and I could go on and on and on. But the labelling professionals have gotten very good at hiding it. When it says “no MSG added” on the label, it doesn’t mean there isn’t already MSG within the ingredients, just that none was “added.” If the word extract is on a label, that’s MSG. It’s seriously everywhere, and when you really start looking into it, it’s quite frightening and very difficult to avoid. MSG has been linked to all of the brain diseases (e.g. Alzheimer’s and Autism) and the majority of heart attacks are attributed to it. It’s hard to prove any of this, but I am sure the FDA and other legislating bodies are quite aware of the consequences. However as the food production companies and lobby groups certainly don’t want it to go away – as it makes the production of food significantly cheaper – still we suffer in its evil grip. If you want a list of what to avoid, check this link out.  Some may argue that it’s all bullshit and not as bad as all this, but as a person who is sensitive to MSG, I will always stand on the other side of that fence. There is NO doubt in my mind that at some point in the future, MSG will be declared bad for us, as was finally achieved with smoking. In the meantime, any chance I get to join the anti-MSG debate and push the argument further out into the world to ensure the pro-MSG lobby groups no longer dominate, then I will. I just believe that everyone needs to be able to make a conscious choice about whether or not they want to eat it, and when so much effort is made to convince the public of its virtues, one really should be hearing alarm bells. Unfortunately most people do not have the time to address it because there are just more important things to focus on – and why not, when you don’t suffer the side-affects? It is this that concerns me most – a type of apathy – because we are all unknowingly poisoning our bodies, and MSG is only one additive within that lethal mix. I truly think it is criminal what’s going on in our food-chain – all to save a few dollars. If you’re with me, keep the anti-MSG arguments going or share this if you like it. So much progress has been made, but like all things, we’ve got to keep at it so we’re not drowned out by big corporations focused on profit and not the health of their customers. In the meantime, I’ll be avoiding MSG like the plague once again… well whenever I consciously can. And here’s some final food for thought – make sure you check out children getting brain lobotomies, when in reality, they just needed to take MSG out of their diets. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea PS: if you like what I’ve got to say, you can follow me on Twitter @withoutbollocks, although I’m not manically active yet.

Lex’s 1st Christmas, six weeks old Well today I have officially been a Mum for five years, as we head to the zoo to celebrate our little man’s 5th birthday. I cannot honestly say that these last five years have been easy. The switch from freedom-to-do-whatever-the-hell-I-want to Mother hasn’t been a seamless transition to say the least. Steve asked me the other day, after a particularly strenuous day with our lads, if I ever regret having our kids? No no no I say, then, well, maybe just a little bit. Think of the things we could’ve done if we never had them? But I wouldn’t be without them, I really wouldn’t – life has never been so rich and vital. If you know me, or are a regular withoutthebollocks reader, you’ll know that Lex has been a particularly challenging child, with a lot of people offering opinions and advice along the way. The thing is – I know him, I know his heart and soul, and while it has not been a smooth ride into motherhood, my faith in that child remains undiminished. He has an incredible zest for life and a desire to experience everything this world has to offer him. His ambitions know no bounds. He excels at everything he puts his mind to. And he is a worker – my word when he makes a commitment to achieving something, he bloody gets there. An example of his work ethic is his speech. In recent months, with incredible focus and determination, he is getting there, and we are conversing – hooray!! Who’d have known that since the 12th of November 2006 I’d only now, five years on, be enjoying the ability to communicate with my child? One of the things I’ve learnt in the last five years is that absolutely no one could’ve forewarned me about how hard it is being a parent. No one could ever communicate the extreme challenges, nor could they tell me how truly exhausting it all is. Oh sure, people tried to tell me, but how can you ever really know if you aren’t in the thick of it? But for all of the tough times, the majority is amazingly beautiful, because I think you start to love in a way you never knew you were capable of, and boy do I love my mini-men. Making birthday pancakes this morning with Dad So Lex my love, you drive me absolutely bloody crazy a lot of the time, but I love you so much and I treasure you so dearly. My faith in you will remain unwavering as I do my best to guide you out into this big wide world, where I know you’re going to contribute something really special to our planet and mankind. Happy Birthday sweetheart. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I had the loveliest morning today. I joined a pretty sizeable gathering of 30+ people, from all corners of the globe, for a group meditation at 11.11am this morning. The last group meditation I did was more than a year ago, so it was great to experience it again. Today means a lot of things to different people. Some were focused on fallen soldiers on this day of Remembrance. Others on the numerological impact and meaning of multiple 11s. Some are focused on the luck that comes with the combined numbers. The Nerds of the world have christened it “Nerd New Year.” And my mate Gary is celebrating his birthday. There’s a lot going on around the world today. The meditation session for me was about universal oneness – which I personally think is a wonderful idea. It was a morning of sharing, remembering, hoping and meeting new people – suffice to say I came out of it energized and hopeful.  My friend Julie, who hosted the gathering, has been looking forward to this day for a long long time, and more than anything, I was really pleased to be there to support her, as she has been on an amazing personal journey these past few years. So thanks Jules, an awesome morning that touched me deeply. And if you’re in to it, remember that today is a day for big wishes to come true, so fling out your greatest desires with all your might, and who knows? It might come true. If you’ve missed 11.11am in your neck of the woods, there is always 11.11pm! So what did you do today? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I’ve had some interesting discussions with my love of late, as we’ve recognised a difference of opinion – something that doesn’t happen very often. It seems that Steve is still really conscious of other people’s opinions, and this includes complete strangers. When I was younger, I used to care a lot about what people thought of me. People who were in my life at that time might say “what you? No way” – because I was definitely out there in many ways (fashion-sense, “stunning” hair-styles, opinions, etc..) But I did, I was really impacted by what people thought about me. Then one day, probably in my early 20s, I decided enough was enough, and slowly weaned myself away from caring about what others thought of me. I recognised that absolutely no one knew where I was coming from or understood why I believed what I believed, so decided it was time to focus on what I thought of myself as the most important thing. It was a very liberating process to go through and one I think continues to serve me well. It gives me more confidence I suppose – confidence to live the life I want in the way I know is right for me and my family. I also don’t feel the need to justify that to anyone, nor do I feel the need to judge others for the way they choose to live – because how can I know? When I think about it, there are very few people whose opinions matter to me – Steve and my boys will always matter, very close friends or clients who are in my life on a regular basis definitely matter, and probably the people around my boys – such as their teachers. They all matter because they impact my life every day, and therefore, I care what they think. I don’t change who I am because of them, but I am aware of their role in my life. For everyone else, including family and friends, who are not living my life with me every day, I can’t take on their stuff. How can I integrate their opinions of my life into me, when in almost all cases, they have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, how I’m doing it, or even why I make the decisions I make? Families are a special group in this equation, with most taking great delight in expressing opinions about our lives. However, if you live miles apart – physically or psychologically – why structure any aspect of your life taking their opinions into account? Especially if they tend towards the negative? Respect for family is a good thing, but only if it goes both ways. And then complete strangers? I absolutely DO NOT care what they think, because they are strangers and have no impact on my life! If they become friends who I care about, because all of my friends are people I value on many levels, then it changes and I care. I’ve asked a few other people in recent weeks whether or not they care about the opinions of others, and apparently, the majority are impacted by what others think.  So I thought I’d ask my community – do you care or have you torn yourself away from living your life based on the opinions of others? All I know (and believe very deeply for myself) is this: the only thing that matters is how you value yourself, and if you can do that, well that’s awesome and the path to happiness. It’s something I want to teach the boys, but obviously to succeed; I need Steve on board too. I’m wondering if anyone agrees with me or can share their experience of breaking away from the burden of others opinions? Or perhaps you still find yourself caring too much? Let me know? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea