Uncommon Courage

And just like that, everything changed

It’s been a weird couple of weeks with the boys. Over the years, my treasures seem to have lumbered through phases, coming out very very slowly and it takes us a while to acknowledge that it has, indeed, finally ended. It’s like a lightning bolt will strike one day and we’ll exclaim to each other: “shit ain’t you glad that little phase is over!?”
I can definitely say that some phases make you grind your teeth! Worse when we see a re-emergence of a phase we think is over…
But phases ending has never been sudden or decisive, which we’ve always put down to the fact that the boys are very close in age. At only 15 months apart, each of the stages seems to have been extended dramatically between them, as Lex doesn’t finish one before Jax starts.
However, in this last couple of weeks we have seen dramatic and decisive changes. First Jax came home from school one day and asked us to stop picking him up from the bus. He’s a big boy now and can come home by himself.
The problem with that one is we like picking him up from the bus and we like the few minutes we get one-on-one to catch up on his day as we walk home. Now we aren’t even sure when he comes home – as he often sneaks in, steals his iPad and hightails it to a hidden destination.
But he really wants it and we must respect that, although I can admit it’s been a bit of an emotional tug.
Then bath time. They’ve always done it together and it’s often a moment in the day of annoying arguments, pinches, punches, mess and screaming, but it was something we always did together. No more. Separate bath times is the new request.
Oh OK. If that’s what you want.
And then finally, they got new beds. We’ve been promising this for ages and it was time. They’re growing up and it was time to get grown up beds. They now have loft beds, and in the two weeks since we’ve had them, the boys are spending an extraordinary amount of time in them, as well as playing with the stuff under them. It’s actually really cool, but equally, the house feels so empty, so eerily quiet.
We definitely feel we’re getting a sense of what the next decade is going to look like.
The biggest challenge with all of these changes is that Steve has basically been away for work. I’ve been bitching and moaning about his absence, because it’s hard when he’s away and I’ve got a lot of shit to get done at the moment. But I just can’t do it when he’s away, although that’s another point all together. Work is work.
The problem is, while I am going through each of these changes separately (if quickly), Steve comes home to face the fact everything has changed – apparently overnight. It’s quite dramatic for him.
He’s trying to grapple with it all in one go and bless, he’s not sure what to do with himself! The first day he was home he went out and picked Jax up off the bus – because he really wanted to. He misses his little dudes when he’s away! But I had to say no mate, you can’t. He’s asked for this and we MUST respect it. I think it will take Steve a little bit of time to let go. He’s a softy my husband.
Raising kids has been quite a journey, and in many ways, I was always looking forward to these years – the less chaotic ones. I’m in them now and I really like it, but there are moments when I mourn the passing of time too – they were cute little buggers after all. Equally, I know they will want us less and less now, which is totally cool, but sometimes it’s not really.
Ahhhhhh bloody kids hey! They really are quite marvelous.
Anyone else going through tumultuous changes with their treasures?
Yours, without the bollocks
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