A Weepy Day

I woke up today with Vick’s news going around and around in my head. It’s definitely hit me harder today than when I first heard about it. Vick lost her baby daughter, Tracey, yesterday – a little girl who had been on this planet for only six weeks. Tracey had been a sickly bubba since birth, but because Vick lives in a poor part of the Philippines, her daughter got sub-standard care and died because she had an allergic reaction to some antibiotics. Vick asked the doctors not to give the medicine to her daughter, but because doctors are still Gods in this part of the world, they ignored Vick and killed her daughter. The worst part is – she didn’t need to die.

I can still hear the roar of grief in Vicky’s voice when we spoke yesterday, and that is probably why I keep finding myself in tears. It is unbearable to think that anyone you love is going through such a horrendous time, especially when I’m so far away and completely useless to her right now. All I have is words.

Vicky is a lady who deserved to be a mother more than anyone I know. She took beautiful care of my boys and our family for two and a half years, and before that, she spent nearly 15 years taking care of and loving other people’s children in Singapore. She is a wonderful person, someone I have missed keenly, and I was delighted that at long last, it was her turn to enjoy motherhood.

I’m finding myself going from grief to anger today, because why is this world so unfair? If Tracey was born in Singapore, or Australia, or anywhere else where healthcare is affordable and of a high standard, she would be alive. But she’s not, and millions of women all over the world are suffering unbearable heartache while their governments continue to be corrupt and instead of making their countries better for their people (which is their job), they are spending trillions of dollars on weapons, killing neighbours and starting wars, when the only thing that matters to the majority of people in this world is living with peace, love and harmony.

I think women need to take back the mantle of power from men – they’ve had their time and keep fucking it up. Maybe if women rule, we can get refocused on the things that matter, like making sure everyone enjoys a minimal standard of living and that every community has access to a hospital that is equipped with the best doctors, equipment and standards of hygiene? It really shouldn’t be too much to ask.

The grief of losing a child is probably the most unbearable grief I could imagine and I just wish that I could have done more for Vick, and for any woman facing this situation. I feel I have so much with my two beautiful lads and the benefits I have had all my life because I won the life lotto of being born in the first world. Vick didn’t win that lotto.

In the meantime Vicky my darling, I’m thinking of you every day, mourning with you for your little treasure, and I hope you can find some solace during this time to help you through. Your unbending faith in God is sure to help you right now and just know that my family love you and we are here for you always.

Yours, without the bollocks


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