A Girl Baby in Your Tummy?

Cousins hanging out – note Sophie’s hand on Lex
Lex has decided he wants a girl baby. He appreciates where babies come from, is a little unsure of how they get in, and equally unclear on how they get out – but those are minor details at this point. Every day he is asking me: “Mum, can you put a girl baby in your tummy?” If I say no, he says “OK Mum, let’s go shopping and we can buy a girl baby.” He’s not too far from the sordid truth there….

I don’t know why girl babies are the focus of my little loves attention, but they are and he ain’t letting it go – bless him. Naturally, every time he asks me about it, some immediate replies spring to mind – the sort you stop before they come out…

“I’m too bloody old, piss off and leave me alone.”


“Your Dad has had the snip so that little avenue has been blocked off.”


“Do you think I look mad? Do you think I’d willingly go back into baby-land?”

I loved my little guys when they were babies, don’t get me wrong, but the thought of being back in that world – no, it ain’t for me. I did it twice – rapidly – and I don’t want to go back there until I’m a grandma and can piss off whenever I want.

Sophie’s terror but Lex still in protective mode
The truth of the matter is: I just don’t want to have a baby again – age aside. I knew that long before Jax was born, thus Steve’s snippage was booked in pronto after Jax’s birth. Equally, both boys swift appearance in the world was too close together and grueling. Sometimes, I feel like I’m still recovering from it. In fact, following my visit to the osteo this morning, I know I am.

Babies are beautiful, but no more thanks. Two is enough. No desire for a girl in case you wanted to ask – and boy do people want to ask. I’m happy with my lads and completely and utterly done & dusted on the baby-front. Besides, the boys are just starting to get interesting, and more importantly, independent. I like their independence I must say.

So Lex, my beautiful little love, who never misses a chance to play with any girl-baby in the vicinity – and you do play with them so beautifully and gently darling-heart, but no love, Mummy ain’t putting a girl baby in her tummy. However, one thing I know for sure, you’re going to schmooze women-folk in later years with that big heart of yours son. Jax will as well, just in a slightly different way.

So Lex, will you settle for a girl-cat instead? Please?

Besides, how could I get so lucky with the perfection of my first two babies a third time round?

Can anyone else relate to the ‘no more thanks’ feeling?

Yours, without the bollocks


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