January 2013

Eight years ago today I married the love of my life on the gorgeous Island of Koh Samui in Thailand. It was an awesome wedding – it went on for 10 days – and we both still take enormous pleasure in the fantastic time everyone seemed to have. It was a wedding bonanza and we love it when friends continue to laugh at all of the funny and crazy things that happened over those 10 days. It was very special (and funny) time, and a great memory that still makes me smile. On that awesome day eight years ago, I had the great privilege of marrying my true love – someone I had waited very patiently for over many many years. It was hard to keep believing I’d find him one day, but at the grand old age of 33 (for both of us) he finally decided to bloody show up, and it’s been one hell of a ride since (here’s the story of how we met). The first two years were pure love with us both only wanting to be with each other. The next couple of years saw two little men come into our lives which shook things up a fair bit. And the last four years have been challenging at every level of our life, but the love remains. I can say without hesitation that it hasn’t been boring. I wouldn’t want to share my life with anyone else. Steve hastaught me so much about love. He treats me like an Empress and is 100 per cent focused on making sure that I achieve all of my dreams and he does this with nothing but pure love in his heart. He understands what drives me and wants to see me achieve everything I set my heart on – suffice to say, shit I’m lucky. I know I am his everything, and it is so special being married to someone courageous enough to love me like this, and I value his beautiful qualities every single day. I definitely feel like a very fortunate finding a man like him – he’s my Rob Roy – strong and gentle at the same time. So here were are, eight years in, on the roller coaster of life, and the future is looking really bright after some pretty big bumps. Who knows where we’re going next, but we’re going to do it with a skip in our step and a smile on our faces, because we both want to be old farts together, and often picture ourselves walking down the beach hand in hand when we are. One thing I know from experience, if you’re looking for love, wait until you find the person who loves you just as you are, because that’s when the real magic happens. Big love to you my gorgeous husband and happy anniversary – you get less for murder. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea  More photos… and apologies as it gets ugly… We arrived on an elephant Things were still civil – Saskia, Nathalie and Emile My niece Elspeth met her first Trannie – the entertainment was a Transvestite Caberet  Andy met Tina Turner  Tomski had passed out on the beach much earlier, and this is how he was woken up  Debauch and Dunny – Dunny was getting pretty messy by this stage  The Congo is a must  The Great Jen and Debauch  Steve giving Thomski a pep talk – he missed his speech while passed out  Anna, Lee Ann and Jen – the photographer  Emile presenting his underpants – an old party trick Noice!  Why do men feel the need? The team that made it ’til dawn, except Kurt, who passed out at the beginning and returned at dawn (apologies Siobhan but you did good girl!)  Nice one love – that was a good party

My friend Ann Katrin (AK) got handed a big bunch of lemons a couple of months ago – well more a crate of lemons. Her husband was offered a job in Germany and he wanted to take it, as it was a great opportunity for him. AK isn’t anti-German, she just puts Germany, and then Europe, at the very bottom of the list of places she wants to live. As a result, coming to accept that this IS happening has been quite a struggle for her these last few months. It’s not an uncommon experience for expats to go through – where one day you’re happy and settled, then bam, you’re off again – many times with no control over the next destination. We’ve been through it too. As background, AK was born in Germany to a German Dad and Swedish Mum, and remembers at age 12 saying to her brother I want to get out of this country – it’s not me. At 16 she packed her bags for a year and went to Torquay in England, then back to Germany. The final move out of Germany came many years later, but she never looked back. After spending close to two years in Antwerp, AK and her husband (then boyfriend) Richard (a Dutchman) landed in Singapore, with two kids joining the family along the way. AK was happy in Singapore, but when an opportunity came to move to Cairo, Egypt in 2009, she jumped at it, as adventure is in her DNA. A combination of the revolution (her son Jesper still fears tanks) and Richard’s work coming to an end left them facing a decision on where to go next. Singapore came up and with a little trepidation, AK accepted coming back here. That’s when we met. Ann Katrin was OK about returning to Singapore – because she’d already lived here and loved it – but she wasn’t excited. Initially they were hoping on another posting within Asia– Vietnam, Thailand, etc… but it didn’t eventuate, and she’s worked hard at making her life work in Singapore again. Over the 18 months we’ve gotten to know each other, AK has been moving forward in the fitness industry, holding yoga classes in her home, studying fitness and nutrition online, and she recently became a certified personal trainer. She has also tentatively entered the world of blogging to use this platform to promote her ideas and eventually grow her business. But all of this work must now be put aside and she has to start again in Germany. I think that one side of life many never see – if they haven’t been an expat – is how much the “trailing spouse” has to give up, put on the back burner, etc… to support the working spouse. It can be tough, especially as AK is ready to get her teeth into something of her own. I asked AK what it is about Singapore and living in other countries that really appeals? “I love the internationality of Singapore and living overseas. I also love the diversity around me every day and I’ve made amazing friendships from all over the world. It’s easy making friends as an expat, because everyone is open to new friendships, and it doesn’t matter from which country you come from, so I am going to miss that most.” I can definitely relate to this – I feel very fortunate every day I am living here. Facing the decision of the move, AK got a lot of well-intentioned advice from friends and family around the world. One of the first things people say these days is “it is obviously meant to be” and “something great will come out of it.” While we all appreciate that this advice is very true at a deep level, it doesn’t always alleviate the feelings about the decisions you’re faced with. For example, when I found out I had to move to Singapore with my job in 2003, I thought it was a death knell on any hopes I might have to meet a man and have kids. Singapore isn’t considered great pickings for a single Caucasian gal in her 30s. However, it WAS obviously meant to be ‘cos I met Steve four months later and now bloody look at me! But you can’t always see that in advance, so these platitudes often don’t help when you’re facing something you don’t want to do. But AK is doing it and I asked her what she’s planning to do to make it work? I’ve divided her feedback into thoughts and actions and here’s what she said: Thoughts Day by day – this is my mantra right now, and I think it has to be when we get to Germany as well. Between now and when we move it’s going to be manic packing up the house, keeping the kids entertained, saying goodbye to friends, etc… so I’ve have to take things day by day to keep my sanity and not to drown in the “pain/sorrow” of moving, however it is also how I should live my life anyway. I’ve found this mantra easy to apply now, but can I continue when we get to Germany? I’m going to try as I’ve set it as my “mantra” for 2013 Shake the negativity – I don’t need to love what we’re about to embark on, but I do need to find my happiness in the mix. It would also be great for my husband if I could find my joy, because this is a great move for him, but if I’m not happy, it’s going to be really hard on him Less focus and worry on things – I’m a person who focuses on or worries about things I can’t change. For example, my daughter Luka is a shocking sleeper. I lost sleep over this, but once I came to a point where I realized I can’t change it and therefore, just need to accept it, a

I’m spending a lot of time working out what serves me and what doesn’t across the gamut of my life. Obviously the most important analysis has to be the stuff going on in my head. This is something I’ve been doing for years, but I’ve found the renewed focus on it these last few weeks has helped me identify some bad ‘thought habits’ that have crept back in and as such, I need to explore and let them go. As part of this process, I asked my hubby Steve: what are my good qualities that are also bad qualities? (note: I’m not a believer in the definition of good and bad, but it was the easiest way to define it.) Steve’s feedback concurred with my own, with a couple of additions – he’s a brave boy huh? Here are six of the key ones I/we identified Stubborn – I’m bloody stubborn, no doubt about it, and always have been. The thing is, my stubbornness has seen me pursue and try new things while all around me I was discouraged. As a result of going ahead, I believe my life has been richer either because it succeeded more than I ever dreamed it would OR it didn’t and I learnt a valuable lesson. On the reverse side, my stubbornness often sees me pursuing things beyond their sell-by-date, and that is my real lesson. Let it serve me in a positive way but don’t hold on for the sake of proving something to myself. Taking the time to stand back and recognise that a direction I’ve taken isn’t working is OK too. No failure there, which leads to my next “quality” Pride – I’m a proud person and this is a good quality. It drives me to be better, do better and work harder, not for anyone else’s approval, but because I want to be proud of myself. However, pride makes me shy away from situations too. I don’t like to be mocked, and spent my 20s working hard to laugh at myself – which I’m pretty good at now. But pride can hold me back and I need to recognise when that is the case and say to hell with it, because the truth of the matter is, I really don’t mind being a fool. Fool is good. Screwing up sometimes is OK too, as long as I learn from it I love people – I’m a people person and love all sorts around me – all races, religions, etc… I don’t care where people come from, how much money they earn or if they can do anything for me. As long as they have a good heart – I love them. Seriously, my true joy from life is the diversity and complexity of people I have in it. I love trying to work out what makes people tick and where they’re coming from, because us humans are such interesting creatures. That is the coolest part of being alive for me. However, sometimes this also means I attract people into my life that are not good for me – the energy suckers, or the destructive forces who I know are only destructive because they’re hurting inside. I don’t have the time or energy for everyone, so sometimes I must make the decision to let people go who are not good for me, because I’ve got to take care of me and my family in the mix. Steve has definitely helped me to see this Very focused – I’m so focused its ridiculous sometimes. I can get so absorbed in what I’m doing, people can talk to me (well Steve) for 20 minutes and I won’t hear a word. I think it comes from the early days of working in open plan offices – I just had to shut the world out to do what I needed to do. Being focused is a good thing, but it drives Steve’s nuts. He wants me to lessen this quality a bit and perhaps stop and listen to him when he’s got something important to say? I can do better at this Ruled by my heart – I am quite happily ruled by my heart because it’s the place from which I make my best decisions and get the best advice. I listen to my heart and intuition above all, but sometimes my brain has a good point to make, and I need to get a little bit of balance back in there Easy going – one of Steve’s thoughts is I’m incredibly easy-going about much of life, which is true. I believe it is how it’s meant to be, most of the time things work out for the best, and 99 per cent of the things we worry about don’t ever actually happen. Therefore why waste energy worrying about that 99%? Steve is a worrier and a planner, so sometimes my easy-going nature and his “got-to-be-on-top-of-things” nature clash a bit. That’s marriage. The thing is Steve often needs to act on things long before they are a priority for me, so he’ll do them. There’s no denying it, I don’t like the admin side of life, but I did manage before I met him, just not in the same time-frame he manages things. My conclusion is my easy-going approach actually makes him stress, so I need to act a bit earlier within Steve’s time-frame  because that will help him and all it means is I’ve done it earlier anyway. We’ve agreed that this is something we need to work on, because our approaches are SO opposite, we need that middle ground to ensure we’re both at ease in this mix called marriage There’s a sample of mine, although control freak should probably be in there too? I’d love to know what you think are your good bad qualities? While you’re at it, join me on the Without the Bollocks Facebook page if you want to continue the discussion! Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

The first book I’ve read as part of my ‘Fuck it, Enough’ crusade is ‘The Happiness Project’ by Gretchen Rubin. I didn’t hear anything about it in advance, just saw it in a bookshop and thought: this could be a goodie right now as I want to be happier. A New York Times bestseller, I thought it was a “nice” book. Why do I only say nice – a pretty pathetic platitude? Well Gretchen is a self-confessed happy and unadventurous homebody who wanted to know if it was possible to be happier. She has a good life, stable home, secure finances, good hubby, calm kids, and a community of family and friends close by who support her. She willingly confesses that life is good, she just wanted to see if it could be even better. Fair enough. My take-away – anyone who wants to be a little bit happier could benefit from reading this book. She’s done her research in most areas, and it’s jam packed full of reminders of the simple things we can all do to be a little bit happier – such as changing your mindset, don’t nag your spouse, put up happy memory charged things like photos, clean your home, be organised, let go, etc… There is definitely more to it than that, but overall, that’s what I took away – lots of good little tips I can do to make my life happier – and I’m going to do some of them. For example, being in temporary accommodation for more than two years, I don’t have any photos up – me, I know!! But it’s more pathetic than that. I haven’t put up any photos from the last two years, nor have I even printed our weddings photos from 2005, a truly fantastic day – well 10 days really – in my life. So that was a good reminder to get onto that. However, if your life is currently shit house, you’re going through massive change or challenges, you’re dealing with a major illness, your spouse is a massive pain in your arse, your kids are driving you to drink, your work is unsatisfying, your income is not covering your costs, or worse you’re broke, your friends couldn’t give a shit, your family couldn’t give a shit, etc, etc, etc… you may find it all a bit trite? A couple of people I’ve spoken with who started reading and didn’t finish it, can definitely vouch for it lacking in substance, and I agree with them to an extent. However, I don’t think anything like this is ever really bad, because sometimes reminders to do the small stuff are good too. Two aspects irritated me though. The first was the comparison between a New Yorker and a beggar on the streets of Calcutta. Now Gretchen (who admits she is not adventurous) has never met or spoken with people living on the streets of Calcutta (and perhaps not even in NYC), and when interpreting her words, I took it that she thinks happiness can be measured in the same way world-wide – which I certainly don’t agree with. Maybe I misread it, but as an adventure-monkey who has spoken with (and been deeply touched by) people on the streets of NYC and Calcutta, there can be absolutely no comparison made between the two. Expectations for life in India are very different at such a deep level – something that may change as India evolves – but the very foundation of India’s religious beliefs is part of this discussion too. A big topic, so just a little observation here, because it annoyed me. Secondly, she does a month on spirituality and essentially interprets the essence of Buddhism. She’s not wrong in what she writes, but having spent my life delving into spiritual literature (for and against), and understanding it far beyond the border of religion, I found it a bit weak. With that said, for people who’ve never looked into this massive subject, it’s a nice introduction. But if you’ve spent years trying to work out what it is and how you can integrate it into your life in a way that is meaningful to who you are, there is not a lot of substance. She never claims that it is going to be substantial, but I almost wish she didn’t cover it in the book, because by touching on it so briefly, she trivialized it. Anyway, just a couple of observations and Gretchen, if you somehow read my blog (because sometimes authors do comment on my blogs about their books), I know you take criticism personally, which I really appreciate. I just want you to know I think you’ve done a great thing for a lot of people, and I will certainly take on board some of your learnings, but it didn’t blow me away and change my life. It’s a worthwhile contribution, but I personally need something meatier you know? Who else has read it and what did you think? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Today is officially my first day “back at work” with the boys out, Steve working and the house relatively quiet. I’ve got my ‘Fuck it, Enough’ crusade to focus on of course, but that’s swimming along nicely now – although my thoughts continue to be my biggest challenge. Work-wise I’m waiting for things to move and for overdue payments to happen (and if you’ve read my blog, you’ll know how much I hate waiting) so what to do? Well I sat down this morning, ready to rock ’n’ roll and I drew a blank – I just couldn’t think of anything to get my teeth in to. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty to do, but I just couldn’t think of what those things were. Whenever I feel lacking in purpose, it is always the same – the blues start to tickle my mental peripheries. But with my renewed focus on being joyful, today I thought no way and asked myself: what can I do to make sure this doesn’t take hold? I know, I’ll sort some shit out that has been driving me nuts for months and get busy being busy – that’ll work. I’m definitely the sort of gal that needs to be really busy. Anyway, we moved into this apartment two years ago on a temporary basis, as such, we’ve never really moved into it, if you know what I mean. Therefore, everywhere I look is stuff that hasn’t been sorted out properly, or needs a home, or needs to be cleaned up. Sometimes I hope it bothers other people as much as me, so they’ll sort it out, but that never seems to happen – funny that. But the truth of the matter is it REALLY shits me that this stuff remains unresolved, so why not sort out the stuff that shits me for my own peace of mind and get busy to boot? Therefore today I tackled the kitchen, sorting out the shelves above the sink where everyone stacks stuff randomly (so you can’t find anything or it takes a gargantuan effort to find what you want when you need it), and I put the booze in a cupboard, as opposed to it attracting cooking fat as it sits on the kitchen bench. Good, it looks better, being busy kept my mind on good things and I got a little sense of achievement to boot. Now I need to adopt a better planning practise – something I’ve always been good at but have let slide in recent years – planning my days the night before. That way, I’ll start the day off great, because I’ll already have a list of things to do, in priority order, before I even go to sleep the night before. For me, I definitely know that planning my days effectively and getting busy when I’m not busy is a great way to distract myself from the unsavory aspects of my mind. Therefore two lessons today – get busy any old way and plan! Anyone else relate? Yours, with the bollocks Andrea

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know I love my little lads with every fibre of my being, but you’ll also know they turn me into a screaming harpy on a regular basis, and that we’ve had some additional challenges on the parental ride. I always recognise that when my patience is lacking with them, MOST of the time, it actually has nothing to do with how they are behaving or why they’re being turds, and instead everything to do with how I’m feeling about my life – like I said, most of the time! I also think that if I’m not happy, they pick up on the vibe and are a little bit more difficult as well. So essentially, it’s all my fault. To try and ensure I’m a peaceful, loving and attentive Mum I came up with a mantra – patience and love. I repeat it throughout the day, but when I can feel a yell coming on, I close my eyes, repeat it to myself, and then I deal with whatever chaotic situation I am faced with in a loving, quiet voice. That’s the goal anyway. They’re just kids and we all know kids are going to drive us nuts as they push and test us, all the while working out who they are. But I’m the adult and working out a way to deal with it to ensure we’re all happy is what drives me. The reality is, yelling gets me nowhere with my boys, but when I approach situations in a calm and easy manner – shit they respond better, usually doing what they’re told the first time. It’s like a miracle every time. My mantra really works for me and while it’s easy to forget it in the heat of the moment, I find that when I do remember it – as I am this month as it’s part of my FIE focus for January – it ensures a much calmer and happier household. The household vibe is definitely calmer with Steve and I focused on making sure it is so. The reality is we just want a happy home – that’s it, our only goal. So can anyone else recommend something they do or have any advice that gets them great results with their kids and makes them happier to boot? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

My favourite food of all time has to be Indian, with Thai a close second. Last night we had Indian with our great friends Lisa and Frankie, understanding that we needed to forgo pappadums and Nan to stick to our wheat free month. Steve also couldn’t have the pakhora – his personal Indian pleasure. It’s only a month, we can do it and seriously, I felt lighter for it! Six days in, it’s no problem, although we’re bloody starving by the time mealtime comes round. We had a really lovely night, but when I got to bed, I experienced three symptoms from my meal: Racing heart Itchy all over I was hot and couldn’t cool down That is me having a reaction to colourings or additives and it ensures a REALLY shit night’s sleep. Steve also didn’t sleep well with me thrashing around next to him. Thankfully for me, I’ve recognised my sensitivities to things and generally eat as pure as pure can be. I don’t eat McDonalds or other fast foods because it makes my skin itch and sometimes I want to vomit even as I eat it. Soy sauce makes my legs jittery when I go to bed and I can’t sleep. It also gives me anxiety attacks. Teriyaki sauce is the same but not as extreme. Anything from a packet makes me itchy and uncomfortable, with my dreams all over the place and full of horror. Any tomato-based sauce gives me heart burn and I can’t sleep. Bread with preservative 282 and 320 makes my legs itch too, as well as causing a general feeling of unease in my gut. I avoid it whenever I can. I think I’m lucky, because I’ve been paying attention for many years to how my body reacts to food, so I’ve had time to accept it is who I am and work around it. The challenge comes from the fact it’s almost impossible to go out for dinner and not be impacted. For example, Thai food in Singapore – forget it. There is so much MSG in Thai food here, I develop an MSG headache even before I leave the restaurant, and that includes the posh Thai restaurants. Obviously, I want to be able to go out for dinner with friends – that’s a happy thing for me to do – but when I do it, I have to accept the consequences. There seems no middle ground, although my favourite Indian/Sri Lankan restaurant, Colombos, is proud of the fact they use nothing but pure ingredients. I’ve never have a bad night after Colombos, except when I drink too much vodka – hic! That’s why I keep returning. So who else has a really bad time on additives and preservatives? Anything in particular get to you? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

The primary thought habit I want to change is resisting how my life is – by focusing on how I want it to be, as opposed to “enjoying” the ride no matter what. By means of background, I’ve been tracking my thoughts for years now. It’s a really great habit to get into, and it has definitely helped me get rid of any horrible thinking – towards others and myself. My goal is to think kind thoughts always, but it’s not easy to hold onto this goal when life keeps throwing tidal waves of crap at you. The sort of thoughts I want to change are not difficult, but they need to go and I MUST embrace finding my joy in how my life is today, right now, no matter what, because now is all there is right? The things I say or think every day that I want to stop include “You need to sleep more” – to the boys of course. Well they’re not going to sleep more and they’re going to get up whenever the hell they want, so why not just go with that little pearl of life huh? My anxiety over their lack of sleep has a massive impact on me and it’s time to go with the flow (a saying my husband HATES), but oh so true “I just want to be in my own home” – another biggie, as we’ve now been out of our own home and in temporary accommodation since September 2010. I just miss my beautiful things, but we will get back in our own home at some point, and it’s feeling closer at long last, so why not just enjoy and invest in the home I have? The reality is, it doesn’t matter, just living in the now matters “I am tired” – every day I think this, every bloody day! That’s why “I have energy” as a thought habit goal for FIE January, but seriously, I need to eradicate tired thinking from my mind. It makes me more tired focusing on it, and I don’t want the boys to grow up being influenced by that thinking “I wish ….. was different” – can be applied to so many things. There are many sayings around this idea, but a saying that resonated with me recently is this one by William James: “Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”  Indeed, acceptance Just a few examples, but breaking the habit of defining my life in any other way than what it is, must happen if I want to smile. So stop the thoughts and enjoy the ride. I’ve definitely lost track of my thoughts in recent months, but to give a little context of why, two years ago, Steve and I came back to Singapore because we recognised this is where we could both achieve our dreams. We came equipped with two things – enough money to last a couple of months and an undefeatable positive attitude. We didn’t have work, a place to live, a school for the boys, etc… – we just came back believing it would work out (a massive step for Steve to make I might add – still can’t believe I convinced him to give it a go!). It was an experiment in positive manifestation or the Law of Attraction and it was a complete disaster. However, I couldn’t guarantee I was 100% positive in the right way, or that my thoughts were in alignment with my goals, because understanding how our thoughts impact our lives is a difficult thing to really know, even in practise – because we have ourselves (and our egos) in the way. I also couldn’t speak for Steve’s thoughts, and because we were in this together, his thoughts were impacting my life and vice versa, so equally valid to consider. BUT there is one thing I could say I learnt in this time – being positive is a whole lot better than being a negative, worried, downtrodden, misery-guts! So do I believe in the power of the mind and the power of our thoughts to change our life? I don’t know, because my personal experiment with it has been a “failure”, but there are so many forces at play in the universe, and who knows what the truth is? The only thing I’ve ever known for sure is that I don’t know a whole lot. I just don’t know how it all works, and perhaps I’ve been doing the wrong things? Or perhaps there are dark forces at play (as some have suggested)? Or perhaps this is what I’m supposed to experience so I can share my lessons? Or perhaps we live, die and turn to dust? Who knows? I truly don’t believe that last one though – I just don’t. My super positive thinking kept me going for 15 months straight. You could not make me doubt, because I believe (and still do) that anything is possible when you put your mind to it. But after 15 months of believing, I got some disappointing news, realised the promises made were never going to happen, and Lex got kicked out of school because they couldn’t understand how to teach him. As such, I came crashing down. I think I’ve spent the last nine months in up-down land. The downs haven’t been nice and the first one lasted a good couple of months before I could drag my sorry arse out of it, and since then, I’ve had a few more but never as long. I’m essentially a happy person and an optimist, so going into a bleak place is VERY difficult for me to cope with, and poor Steve putting up with it!! Then again, he’s had his downs too.We must remember… I’ve included just a few examples and this month my quest for a positive mindset most of the time, while remembering to enjoy

Yesterday Steve and I started our wheat free plan for a month. This is something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time, because when I look at the symptoms of wheat intolerance, I can definitely say I relate to many of them. I’ve been researching it a fair bit in recent months and here is a sample of possible indicators of wheat intolerance. Bloating and gut ache Weight loss or weight gain or the inability to lose weight Low iron Diarrhoea or constipation Lots of farting Headaches Memory loss Behavioural difficulties Depression Frequent infections – cold and flu, mouth ulcers, yeast infections, etc… Stiffness in the joints Proneness to allergies Arthritis, colitis, thyroiditis, psoriasis, and more Skin rashes Food cravings Tiredness or irritability Chronic fatigue or exhaustion Unwell feeling Infertility, irregular menstrual cycle and miscarriage Cramps, tingling and numbness Decline in dental health   I think the symptom that stands out most to me is the ‘unwell feeling.’ How many people feel that way?   I was tested for coeliac disease after my boys were born. My sister developed it during pregnancy, which meant there was a stronger genetic chance I could also develop it as well. I came up clear, BUT I think I might go back again at the end of this month and get re-tested once I eat wheat again. It’s one of those things that can develop over time and is definitely worth being aware of – especially if there are people in the family with it. If not dealt with, it can kill you, with all sorts of cancers linked to it and much more. However, even though I didn’t have coeliac disease, things like being tired, exhaustion, sinking into depression, memory loss, aching joints, and more, have all been part of my life. Steve has chronic allergies and feels bloated when he drinks beer. Lex is currently recovering from a skin rash and behavioural difficulties often flare up. We can relate. As such I have decided to tackle it head on by making it my number one focus area for FIE January 2013. Going wheat free for a month isn’t hard, but it’s definitely a pain in the arse. The way I eat is all based around a quick sandwich in the day and the speed of preparing food is important to me as well. Now I have to think in advance, plan to make sure the cupboards are stocked up, and the hardest one is breakfast – however I got that solved with smoothies, as well as banana, yoghurt and nuts mixed together. We also stocked up on gluten free cereal and bought a couple of cookbooks, although Pinterest is a goldmine of great recipes. It’s only a month, we can do that!! With that said, we made our first wheat mistake today – here’s the yummy frittata Steve made for lunch today.  But it’s got ham in it and cold cuts are off the menu because of cross-contamination potential – damn! Bacon is OK though. The reality is, I just want to see if I get to the end of January feeling remarkably better – but maybe I can lose a few kilos too – because if that’s the case, it’s a worthwhile experiment indeed. Shit, if this is the culprit, my mission to have a zippier life might be solved in the first month. With that, I wanted to ask if anyone else can relate to any of these symptoms? Has anyone been thinking of giving wheat the boot for a short time to see if it makes a difference? Or has anyone done it and is willing to share the results? The one thing I know for sure, everyone I’ve spoken to about it has told me that they felt much better and lost weight. As such, it’s worth giving it a crack I reckon. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea    Some articles on Wheat Intolerance and Coeliac Disease WebMD – Here’s a Slideshow for a Gluten Free Diet The Daily Mail NaturalNews Foodintol – and I can relate to a lot of these symptoms ShiptonMill – this is interesting and talks about the rise of the industrialisation of food production in alignment with the rise in coeliac disease and wheat intolerance WebMD – A list of food containing wheat – no ice-cream… GlutenFreeNetwork – a comprehensive article on the what and why There are many more, but a good starting point if you’re interested.

Yesterday I launched my personal crusade to make my life magical and it’s entitled ‘Fuck it, Enough!’ I wanted to say a BIG thank you for the positive responses I’ve received already, especially Sandra who’s suggested we set up a motivation group to keep each other focused – anyone in Singapore want to join the fun? It seems that many people can relate to the on-going desire to make real changes in our lives, understanding that life could be a little bit better if we have the courage to make small changes, and that’s what it’s all about for me – lots of little changes resulting in lots of big changes over time. I’ve just decided to do this publicly to make it stick and I am thrilled some people want to come on the ride with me. Knowing I’m not alone is wonderful support. As I said in my long blog yesterday, today I’m going to tell you what I plan on doing in January to start taking the steps towards the life I want to live. I have split my goals into actions and thoughts – so changes for the outside and changes for the inside. I’m a big believer in how our thoughts can shape our lives, and while I have no idea how I can change some of the mindsets dragging me down, I am hoping that by focusing on some of the negative ones, it could be the way to start. I suppose that focus (or paying attention to my thoughts) will help me catch myself when I go into the place I don’t want to go, and give me the chance to say no, ‘Fuck it, Enough!’ Focus for FIE January 2013 – and this elegantly scribed list is now pasted to my front door Actions Wheat free for one month – not easy for an Aussie who likes a sandwich, and I’m going to explain my reasons for this in another blog. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while now Stretch in the morning, walk in the evening – I started the morning stretch many months ago, but I am now adding the walk as well, plus recommitting to the stretching because I became a bit apathetic. My physical pursuits will increase, but I have some nagging issues so I need to focus on getting my strength back See an Osteo – as I said, I’ve got long-term issues from going to a chiropractor 10 years ago and rotator cuff injuries from my pregnancies – the only thing that’s helped is Osteo. My Osteo left Singapore, so I need to take the advice of friends and find a new one Do something new – this will be a monthly goal to keep me growing Take the bloody stairs – I live on the second floor for god’s sake! And that goes for escalators too – walk up them Say YES! – the amount of times I miss opportunities to be with people or do something fun amazes me. It’s been the case since the boys came along and I need to change that. I also need to stop the “I’m too tired” thinking. Being with people gives me energy Go out! – not only do I need to say yes to opportunities, but I need to create them as well – anything, just don’t spend so much time at home or on my own. And if I’m feeling blue, more so Listen to music – I’ve recently stocked up on more CDs for the car – Queen, Adam Lambert and more – the sort of music that I want to sing to. It makes me happy And while you’re at it – laugh! – this is a biggie for me, remembering to laugh more. I fell off the stool while bathing the boys the other night. It felt good for all of us to laugh at me Thoughts It is how it is, so enjoy it – I spend too much time thinking of how things should be, as opposed to enjoying how it is “I have energy” – every time I find myself going into tired thinking, I need to remind myself that I have energy – I know it works, because I’ve tried it, now I need to lock it in as a ‘thought habit’ Patience and love – this is a mantra I practise sometimes with my boys, but it needs to be a ‘thought habit’ as well Give the silent gift of love and joy – some will find this a bit naff, but many great thinkers have shared this wisdom and I do it sometimes, just express loving or kind thoughts silently to everyone I meet or engage with. The energy transfer is supposed to be extremely powerful when you do this, but the best bit is it makes you feel better towards everyone you meet So there you go, my thoughts and actions to focus on for the month. I am going to explain a couple in blogs over the next week, because some need a bit of clarification, however these focus areas may not be relevant to you. Therefore, if you’re like me and have hit the point of ‘Fuck it, Enough” – where you’ve essentially had enough of yourself – I’d love to know what your ideas are? And with that it’s now lunchtime… but no sandwich allowed. No worries – yummy rice crackers – ugh! Yours, without the bollocks Andrea