So I got my big boy back after a two week adventure in the US (well it was work not fun) and I’m so very bloody happy to have him home. It’s always hard having him away, not just because it’s intense on the home front trying to manage all aspects of life, but because I miss him plain and simple. I think I missed him more than usual this time, because when you’re confronting so much change personally, not having your best mate around to talk too is difficult. Suffice to say, I did a lot of pining these last two weeks.
Therefore, hand on heart; I am truly grateful for the beautiful man in my life. Steve’s a really special guy, not just ‘cos he was brave enough to marry me, but because he has loved me for who I am – and all that entails – from the minute we met. I think he’s pretty remarkable for that, because being with someone who loves you for who you are isn’t actually that common, I’ve come to realise. I was always hopeful I’d find someone like that, because I’m not the sort of person who can change my personality depending on the people I’m with – I am who I am, and he loves that – awesome.
He’s also completely and 100 per cent focused on supporting me in whatever way I need to achieve my dreams. All he wants is for me to fly in whatever direction I want to fly and to be happy with where it takes me. I know he’ll be by my side throughout – through the good and the bad. He often says he’d love nothing more than to kick back and take care of the boys if supporting my career required that. I know he really means it.
Steve knows my dreams and carries them as his own. He also puts up with my constantly seeking mind, as well as my explorations into all sorts of weird and wonderful ideas as I try to make sense of the world. While he often looks at me blankly when I talk about complex possibilities or theories (‘cos he’s just not that interested), he loves the fact I want to explore and I sure appreciate that. Many a man would ignore me or tell me I’m nuts.
It feels amazing being loved by someone with all of his heart and then some. It feels incredible having confidence in his love for me – which is definitely something I am grateful for every day of my life. It’s also something I could never ever take advantage of, because it’s too beautiful to be abused.
Don’t get me wrong – we’ve had some rough times along the journey of married life, and these last four years have been nothing but intense. Sometimes I wondered if we were capable of bringing our couple-dom back into harmony – because it would have been very easy to drift apart – but neither of us wanted that. So we kept talking, and listening to each other, and working at it, and remembering to love each other, and remembering not to blame each other, and remembering how special what we have together really is.
So I’m a lucky gal with my boy. He’s a truly remarkable, kind, thoughtful and loving person. He’s an unbelievably magnificent Dad. He knows me and gets me. He knows when I’m uncomfortable or hurt, even when no one else can see it. He is my East, my West, my North, and my South. We’re definitely in this marriage for the long haul as we both dream of being together into old age, hand-in-hand, walking along a beach, him with his nut bra and me with my saggy old boobs banging around my knees… such a sweet vision.
Yours, without the bollocks