I Wish Zoe Would Piss Off!!

Is anyone else being pummelled with Calvin Klein’s Envy advert featuring Zoe? It turns out it’s Zoe Saldana, who apparently was in Avatar – I’m so out of the loop, because I didn’t even know who she was until I just looked it up… but I’ve got to tell you, the best day in the last month was getting a recordable set top box so I could fast forward over these painful ads.

I mean she’s a sexy girl and she looks GREAT in her underwear – most women wouldn’t mind looking like that when they roll around in their jocks let’s face it, although slightly small on the boob front if you ask me. I also presume the tantalising taunt of “Calvin, or nothing at all” means she’ll look great out of them too, not to mention that you might even get to see those tattoos she’s alluded to – but puuurlease, enough already.

I’ve always liked Calvin Klein ads because they feature sexy people who look great in their underpants – David Beckham was a standout, as was Freddie Ljungberg (+ package) and how could anyone forget Djimon Hounson – yummy! However, I really don’t need to hear the “models” views on life – the perspectives of the stars rarely appeals to me at all. I’m not alone in that am I? Does anyone else actually enjoy them? Do these ads make you buy more Calvin Klein gear?

I think my favourite line from a corniness perspective – and it’s hard because there’s a few – is “love is a devil. That’s Shakespeare you know. Boy that man knew about love. He always makes me cry. And I’m a really good crier. You know what’s even better? When a guy cries. It makes me melt. It’s kind of like the rain. I love that too. Everything else just washes away.”

I had to listen to the ad three times to get that down… I need to cleanse myself of its corniness…

Put her on a poster, show her dancing around but PLEASE, no more Zoe’s perspective on life – I’m too busy working out my own! I seriously want to scream every time the ad comes on and I can’t imagine I’m alone in that? Surely that’s not the advertising executives’ goal – is it? Come on, you did the X series and that was awesome – what’s happened Calvin??

Yours, without the bollocks

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