I’ve gotta tell ya, since having kids, I’ve never known emotional intensity like it. Every day they pull at my heart strings as they struggle to master something, hurt themselves or communicate a need, but seeing one of them go through surgery and then witnessing the recovery period is something else. Lex was great in hospital and the day after, but Saturday he woke up early and miserable. Today we saw a slight improvement with more smiling, but he’s still miserable.
We are both struggling with feeling useless, because the only thing that can help him is time, love, rest and medicine, but it’s so bloody hard – especially as he won’t rest anymore than normal and he’s far too young to appreciate the ‘milking’ opportunity he has here to make us even more attentive.
Bring into the mix Jax, who is also requiring extra attention because he definitely feels that the focus is not on him, and we’ve got two little boys who cannot comprehend what’s going on, just that they both need lots of extra love and attention from Mumma and Dadda.
And then Mumma and Dadda are wrung out, exhausted, sleep deprived, anxious and completely without energy for each other’s needs, so it’s all a bit of a shit situation really. But it’s about getting through every day and knowing that Lex will only get better. Not to mention soon we will hear the magic of his voice… although at the moment it is but a squeak that’s coming through his nose. Bless! Speech therapy is next.
I can’t help but think of parent’s going through really really serious illnesses with their kids. We are so lucky to have two bright, healthy, strong little lads and are thankful for that every day. It doesn’t make it any easier seeing one of our little loves in pain though.
Yours, without the bollocks