Andrea Edwards

A question I have been asked a lot, and here’s the answer. No, no I’m not. Not yet. In fact, I don’t know if I ever will be “excited.” The first time we tried to live in Phuket – 2009 – note the Chicken Pox on Lex’s face   Not only is there too much shit to do to even remotely get my head into the idea of what this move entails, it’s just hard to be excited about something you never intended to do. Besides life is good in Singapore. Happy. Easy. Things are rocking. A smile to melt hearts Not to forget, we’ve attempted a move to Phuket before – years ago, when the boys were as little as you can see in the photos. Tiny bubbas back then. Neither of them did a solid shit the whole time we were there… oh and Jax got electrocuted within the first week too. We knew it wasn’t the right place for us – back then at least. But we have to go to Phuket – for Lex. He needs it. And that is the only reason we are making the decision to go. I think the other challenge we’re struggling with is banking everything on this move for Lex. We are definitely anxious about the results, and even though I know deep in my soul this is what will make all the difference, we have been promised the world before… The difference is, now it’s our call, our decision – not someone else telling us they have the answer, which they ultimately don’t. We have been promised nothing. Just commitment to helping him be all he can be. So yes, we do have a lot of trepidation and that definitely started brewing over the last few weeks. For Steve too. Think bowel watering trepidation and you’ll have an idea of how we’re feeling. Because I actually can’t even see it right now. I can’t imagine life there at all. But there is something I am excited about and it’s the reason I have moved across the oceans several times in my life already. It’s the reason I do anything or make (what others say) are brave decisions. That reason is possibilities… for all of us. Adventurous, curious Lexy Possibilities – the fuel of life. The unknown and exciting. The thing that makes life better and more interesting. The challenging moments that make life the amazing learning journey it is. Yes possibilities. That is my seducer. The possibilities of new friendships and new amazing people in our lives – from all parts of the world. The possibilities of new experiences in the magnificent country of Thailand. The possibilities of new doors being opened, as well as new paths and personal transformations. The possibilities of slowing down a bit and seeing what that will bring. The possibilities of building our life around the boys’ school – something we have never done before and that’s a real curiosity for me. The possibilities for the boys to open their minds and hearts to a lifetime of embracing change, new experiences, and never being fearful to take chances, or make courageous decisions – because that is what life is about right? It’s also the only way to live a bigger life. An exciting life. Yes possibilities. Who knows what is on the horizon? That’s what I’m excited about. Sitting here right now, with the movers on their second day of packing, the boys already landed in Phuket, and tired, red eyes that scream sleep woman, I have some hectic hours ahead before I join them tomorrow. Jax foraging on Kamala Beach   And then this new, unimaginable life starts. One that will mean more plane journeys, but more home-time too, in different ways. Also, the feeling of total belief in our son, as we all embrace this move for our Lexy, because he deserves it. So before you ask me, this is how I feel. I am apprehensive, a little fearful, and basically shitting myself, but we’ll find our way, our community and our joy. We always do, because life is an amazing adventure that I love being on and I hope my three boys do too. Look how cute Jax is!   Not to mention, we’re also looking forward to lots of pals coming to visit. What a great place for that hey? Will you be visiting? Should we set up a public calendar? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

We’re moving countries. Not only that, we’re keeping 25 per cent of our life in Singapore, moving 75 per cent to Phuket, and the boys are getting ready to say goodbye and embark on a new school adventure. For Lex, this is a happy process. He’s been in therapy all year and has no mates to play with. He’s missed friends and definitely wants some girls around him! We can’t wait for him to get started in the Arrowsmith Program. Jax, on the other hand, has had an incredible period of stability at the Aussie School and he will soon be saying goodbye to his bestie. He’s not ready for the move yet, and while I know he’ll adjust and be happy, Steve and I are keeping a close eye on him to ensure he gets whatever attention he needs to adjust in the move.   And then there’s Steve and I. My last blog had the video of us chatting through what’s going on, but since then, we’ve been in the reality of it. There is A LOT to do. So many tiny details. So much shit collected and shoved away in cupboards to be sorted another day. School withdrawals and school applications. The animals. Oh the animals too. They need to be factored in. Thankfully it’s a pretty easy process getting animals into Thailand. Getting them back out, not so much…. But as I’ve said before, Steve and I do this sort of stuff differently. Very differently. And sometimes tempers get short. We back each other in everything, but nothing quite tests the boundaries of a marriage than an international move. It’s a shit and messy process. You miss stuff you promised to do. The other has to pick it up. We’re both jumping on planes to deliver work around the region (and world), something we’ll continue after we arrive in Phuket. Energy levels get low. The physicality of it all has an impact. It’s intense. Tempers get caught in that mix.   As an example, Jax’s homework didn’t get done these last two weeks. Bloody kid’s homework I tell you! Steve was away the whole time and I had evening commitments practically every night. How do we do this life, kids and work shuffle I often ask? It’s madness how much goes on in life under ordinary circumstances and we’ve added a whole new layer of shit to it. Oh yay. So yes, tempers are going to fray. We’ll both have complete and utter meltdowns – hopefully not in public – but we will get there in the end. Slowly, step-by-step, painfully, things missed, picked up, things broken, tears shed. I am visualizing what Phuket will look like after we arrive to get me through and I am very focused on Steve and I sitting by the pool, drinking a bottle of champagne on our first night together in Phuket. It feels a very very long way away right now… I mean we don’t even have a home yet – in either location. So greetings from Phuket, as I go on a second hunt for the perfect family home. You’d presume this was easy, because you know, beach villas and all – but actually, it’s not. The fantasy and the reality are very different – as we discovered the last time we were here. Our home is important to us and it has to be right. We can’t get lost in a monstrosity, because the boys still have night terrors, and unless we want them in with us every night, it’s got to be comfortable for them + convenient to the school + the shops + have a decent guest room + be comfy + have enough furniture but not too much so we can bring some of ours + a garden + a great pool + a fence to keep Freddy in +++++ So now I hunt and ask for positive vibes to come my way, plus patience, lots of patience, for Steve and for me. Anyone else relate? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Particles of abstract fractal forms courtesy of Shutterstock Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

I’l let the video do the talking. If you stay to the end, I promise a giggle. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

When I started telling people we were going to Sri Lanka for a family holiday, anyone who’d been had a twinkle in their eyes as they told me how much I was going to love it. And they were right. I loved it. I bloody loved it. We all did. Returning from a swim to the Elephant Orphanage I am now a firmly committed, twinkly-eyed Sri Lankan passionista! Steve and the boys are too. How could we not be? It is a magnificent country and I can’t wait to celebrate the next big birthday with my pals on 1st January 2020. Start saving! Buddha’s feet in the Royal Rock Temple Sri Lanka is a country emerging from civil war and it’s now enjoying close to 10 years of peace. I took the impression that today, it’s a place of hope and growing prosperity. I loved being in a place that felt like this when the whole world seems to be going off its rocker. A predominantly Buddhist culture, it’s a very spiritual place. You feel it at the core of society, and it’s a gentle spirituality. This isn’t something I’ve found to be common around the world. In prayer Equally, the environment is central to its culture and a huge part of its attraction. The best part about it though, is how the Sri Lankan people love and honour their environment. This – again – is not always the case. Sri Lanka is a wonderful example of prosperity and environmental sustainability working together, hand in hand. The safaris, forest adventures and ocean activities were all exceptional. And the Singhalese people – magical! Gentle, easy-going, big beautiful smiles, and they loved the boys. Lex and Jax were mostly cool about all of the attention, but the photo-face-monster, Jax, sometimes wasn’t having it. Fair enough. Jax getting some loving We all got travel belly fairly early on in the adventure – Lex first – and he got an IV after a night of vomiting and spraying out the other end. Poor love was a bit surprised by what his body was capable of doing. I had a session of vomiting too – Steve and Jax skipped that fun – but it was the other end activities that provided lessons for the boys. In fact, the greatest lesson of this trip for the boys was: if one feels a pop-off coming on, it’s best to sit on the toilet until one is sure they won’t shit themselves. They also learnt the term arse wasps and fully appreciate what that means. This was a heavy bugger, Kosgoda Sea Turtle Conservation I had some pretty spectacular vomits – the first off a two story balcony while the boys were swimming in the water five meters away. The second, right at the dinner table, which the boys thought was hilarious. It was after my dinner table vomit that I realized we were witness to a field of fire flies doing their nightly show. That was truly awe inspiring, but it was impossible to get the boys to shut it. Bloody kids. We traveled across the country, embracing its natural wonders and incredible history. From 2,600 year old ancient cities once lost under jungles, to Buddhist temples, seeing bears in the wild, lots and lots of elephants, mongoose, Birds of Paradise, eagles, scaling the sides of mountains (not fun when you have a fear of heights) and so much more. It really was the holiday of a lifetime and we relished every minute of it. We feel very very lucky to have the opportunities we have, I can assure you. Train journey to Nuwaraeliya Something I’m really loving is the boys are turning into great little travelers, and while it’s impossible for them not to be annoying shits too, they really seem to love it. It feeds Lex’s massive curiosity, and Jax started showing passion for photography and archaeology. That made me happy. In preparing for the holiday, Steve and I independently came to the conclusion that the best way to see Sri Lanka is through a tour company. This is something we have never done, but Bluelankawere just awesome. Pattipola Railway Station We didn’t just get a driver – as we expected – we got a tour guide too. Suneil was an amazing driver, and Chanaka won us over when we noticed how caring and beautiful he was with our boys. Top fellas and they gave us an incredible experience. If you’re interested in our itinerary, here you go: Colombo, Galle Face Hotel – a spectacular hotel and I loved Colombo Galle, Coco Bay Resort – beautiful beach side boutique hotel. Very peaceful Yala, Jetwing Yala Hotel – this place is amazing and the safari was spectacular Ella, Ella Jungle Resort – this is when I got sick. It wasn’t fun heading down a winding, dirt track on the edge of a mountain, followed by a mini cable car to the hotel, but it was worth it to see fire flies Nuwaraeliya, Hotel Blackpool – way up in the mountains and unexpectedly freezing. I loved it Kandy, Amaya Hills – Kandy is beautiful and this hotel is stunning Sigriya, Aliya Resort and Spa – probably one of the most beautiful hotels I’ve ever stayed in – spectacular Passikudah, Anantaya Resort and Spa – where we chilled for four days. On the beach, peaceful, beautiful Nilaveli, Nilaveli Beach Hotel – our least favorite hotel, mainly because the others were just so spectacular, but the fishing village in Trincomalee is definitely worth a visit Anuradapura, Forrest Rock Garden – spectacular hotel in the jungle, beautifully built with the architecture inspired by the ancient city of Anuradapura. The limestone pool was stunning Colombo and home Women’s work – tea plantation in the Central Province The hotels were all spectacular, and if you’re in the events business in Asia and want to impress your customers, go and check out Galle Face Hotel in Colombo. An amazing hotel and place to stay.

You know one of the best things about living in Singapore? It’s world-class airport – Changi Airport. It’s a beautiful, modern airport, with amazing facilities, but the best thing is check in. From the point of drop off to wandering around Changi before departure, it’s about a 20-minute experience. When landing back in Singapore, from the wheels hitting the tarmac to being in a taxi on the way home, it’s 30 minutes. Changi has won best airport of the year for multiple years and it deserves it. It’s amazing. It makes travelling a pleasure and it should be the gold standard for airports all over the world. I compare this to the experience I had in Mumbai last night.   Flying out of its brand spanking new terminal for the A380, I have never seen such a bigger shit storm at an airport – and let me assure you, I’ve seen some airport shit storms! First it was ticketing – I did the online check-in (well Steve did it for me) so that went smoothly. Good. Next up was x-ray screening, and for the first time I can remember, men and women were separated into two sections. I found this strange, but I can deal with it when I wander this world. It matters in some cultures. The men’s section went through rapidly, the women, on the other hand, was a complete and utter shambles. Multiple lines formed, no one knew what the hell was going on, and many got in shorter lines, only to realize you needed to join the longer lines to check your bag in for x-ray. No one directed proceedings, people were pushing in all over the place, and once you got your stuff onto the x-ray belt, you had to wait until your bags went onto the rollers, because no one in security was managing this section and bags just stayed there. Seriously, two more people working this section would’ve made all the difference. The security guys sat on their arses the whole time, completely ambivalent towards the chaos unfolding, the scanning was painfully slow, and after you got your bag sorted, you had to join another line to line up for body screening! One by one we were called into a private, curtained-off area to be scanned by an unsmiling security woman. Out the other end, the bags weren’t being pushed through, which was causing more delays, so everyone was forced to wait for their bags to come through, tripping over each other to get to theirs, whereas if everyone stood back, the situation would have been more manageable. More than that, if the staff were pushing the bags through – which would have sped up the entire process start to finish – the whole shambles would’ve been averted. And if you think the men got lucky, no they didn’t – well they didn’t if they were travelling with women. There were streams of men just hanging around, waiting for their wives, daughters, etc… It was shit for everyone.   But the fun wasn’t over yet. Next up you entered passport control and my word, the lines! It took 40 minutes to get through just this bit, and thank god for bloody Facebook or I would’ve ripped someone’s face off – especially everyone standing close to me, constantly bashing into me and breathing down my neck. I appreciate that personal space varies greatly by country, but in that moment, you are not a happy camper when distance between humans is something you value. I finally get to my smiling, charming, immigration man – yeah, not. He stuffs around, spends far too long pretending to look at my documents, before he chops my passport and I’m free. But I’ve got to tell you, just this bit of proceedings… The lines are horrendous so speed it up people and let us through faster! Why not? It was just all completely unnecessary and the worst bit, we’re all completely powerless to do anything about it!!! If any country believes that making its residents and visitors feel powerless is a good thing, well they’ve got some serious reflection to do. I arrived at the airport well in time for my flight, and here I was with 10 minutes before the absolute last call. What can you do in 10 minutes? Run to the gate, that’s what you do. I was not happy. But I also kept thinking about the shop owners in the airport. The average spend at an airport is $150/passenger. None of us had time to buy anything, and I was ready to shop and spend my remaining rupee. I also really wanted to buy the boys something to take home. In the end, Kris Shop got my money on board the flight and the boys have Ferrari watches, which seem to be a hit. I would’ve preferred something more unique. Now I appreciate the need for security, especially in a city like Mumbai, where security is definitely higher compared to most cities. But this is just complete bullshit and totally unnecessary. We have the technology to track who everyone is. When you travel today, you hand over your official documents and they take photos and scan your finger prints. There is access to real information about who is and who is not a threat today, so while protocols must be followed and cautioned exercised, we also need to use the technology available to make it a better experience for passengers. We have examples of it already successfully in play, so let’s learn and roll it out everywhere – please! I believe it is well beyond time that airports sorted their shit out, made the experience of travelling through airports at least pleasant, because no matter which way you look at it, this leaves an impression of a country. And yesterday, my impression of Mumbai, a city I adore, was diminished by the experience. Do I really want to subject myself to that again? Travel

As a woman entering your 40s (which I’m well into at this stage) there is an impending gloom ahead – the unknown world of menopause. Chances are you’ve seen your mum go through it – which ain’t pretty – but otherwise, it’s the great mystery that will strike you when it’s good and ready.   Your only expectation on whenit’s going to happen is at approximately the same time it hit your mum. Which means I’ve still got a couple of years up my sleeve, if that’s the case.     Entering into this period of waiting, I’ve found myself asking women every chance I get – women who’ve been through it – what the hell happens? I figure I may as well gather knowledge of what to expect, but here’s where that got me.   Not a single woman I’ve spoken to has had the same experience as another.   Not a one!   The only piece of advice I’ve taken to heart is that those who are vegetarian seem to have an easier time of it than those who love their meat. Time to embrace my vegetarian days perhaps…   And then there are others who said they didn’t give it a second thought – it was over and done with in a day.   Or those who experienced the unpleasantness of breaking into hot sweats in the middle of important meetings, usually in front of a room full of men.   Some age rapidly after this time, while others look the same as always.   Some suffer creping in the neck and chest, never wearing an open shirt again. Others have skin as smooth as a babies’ bum.   Some speak of being cranky and flying off the handle, before becoming an even more awesome version of themselves when it’s all over.   Some gain weight and can never lose it again, no matter how hard they try, while others continue to be stick thin.   And some speak of a fog in the mind that makes it hard to operate in daily life. There is so much more these women have said. And you think, well then. That clears it all up… not!   So what can you do, other than wait and see what little pleasures are in store for you?   But there was one piece of advice I got recently, that I believe every expectant menopausal woman will appreciate and it is this: whatever you do, remember the date of your finale, because from this day forth, every single time you visit a doctor or a healthcare professional, you will be asked for that date!   Now that makes a whole lot of sense to me and on that, I can take action.   Would anyone like to share some menopausal insights? Or is this too public a place to do it? I know a lot of women who’d appreciate the insight. Me included.   Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Menopause image courtesy of Shutterstock.   Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

A while ago I published a blog – Chaos is driving us apart, our collective humanity must bring us back together. My word did that little baby open me up to attack. I can tell you it’s hard putting yourself out there with your own points of view and it can be very challenging getting attacked by people you’ve never met and will never meet.   But you own that as a blogger, or why would you do it?     When you blog, you hope that maybe, just maybe, you can change a mind somewhere along the way, or offer an alternative idea to make people think differently. It certainly doesn’t always happen, but why not give it a try? You’re not saying hey I’m right, you’re just saying maybe we can think about things in a different way and have a discussion?   As is vastly apparent to anyone paying attention right now, the world is crazy – scarily crazy – so if I can help be one of the voices working stop the madness, I’ll take the abuse of strangers any day. Because I don’t want my boys fighting in a war I don’t believe in. I don’t want anyone fighting wars anymore.   Of course, that makes me a liberal nut case in this day and age. What a horrible thing to be! In my mind, a liberal nut case is a person who always expects or hopes for the best of humanity, and who believes we can overcome our current crisis’ and move forward together globally. If that’s the worst criticism cast my way, I say yes, I’m a Liberal Nut Case and proud of it!   Anyhoo, I watched a friend get attacked this week for offering an alternative point of view to something topical. I disagreed and said why – respectfully – as did many others in our community. But then I noticed people really insulting her and calling her names.   Hang on a minute. This is a good person. Why do you need to be like that? Isn’t there enough horrible stuff going on in the world? Don’t you see that by being horrible to her you’re adding to the greater horribleness in the world?   So it inspired me to share this Ted Talk – I grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. Here’s why I left: Please watch this TED Talk – please.   Like many people I know, I am horrified by the doctrine and ignorance of the Westboro Baptist Church, however, I do understand the indoctrination a person experiences when born into religious institutions, as well as how hard it is to step away from that completely. But this isn’t about my journey out of the Catholic Church.   By sharing this talk, I hope everyone can hear what it was that helped Megan change her mind and leave the church. It all came down to how people reached out to her on Twitter, gently speaking to her and listening to her. They communicated with respect, offering other perspectives, and when she was ready, she heard them.   These people on Twitter opened a door for Megan, a door she stepped through when she was ready. So when I look at the way many attack each other on social media, well it’s obvious, as soon as angry voices rise, the doors are all slammed shut. We all have to learn from Megan’s experience.   Obviously, it wasn’t an overnight change of heart for Megan, it happened over a period of time and eventually, she took the very brave decision to step away and leave everything she knew, including her family. Very tough. Very inspiring.   There is so much we can learn from Megan’s TED Talk, as well as Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame. But we can’t learn from each other when we are horrible to each other. No one is listening then. Why would you?   Disagree, offer alternative viewpoints, join in a heated discussion, but let’s not be assholes to each other huh? It makes us no better than all of the monsters in the world spewing hatred right now. Not only that, it makes you feel awful inside anyway.   I just reckon we can all be better than that. Are you with me? And if you’re not, tell me why, respectfully, so we can heareach other.   Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

In the spirit of sharing cute fluffiness, as well as to get away from serious subjects, here’s a little story about our dog, Freddy – a six-month old Golden Retriever puppy.   We decided to take Freddy to a BBQ on East Coast Park in Singapore this weekend, to celebrate our great friend Amber’s birthday. It was our first beach outing with Freddy and I’ve got to say, it was delightful.   After everyone settled in, I took him down to the beach with the boys and Freddy absolutely shat himself. Throwing himself back from the waves, almost ripping my arm from its socket, he then decided there was nothing to be done but to bark at the ocean. He wasn’t having any of it, however he did enjoy all of the rubbish on the beach. That was a welcome distraction….   So much rubbish!   It didn’t take too long though and he was in! Awesome work Freddy. But it’s difficult to get the full experienceof the ocean when he was required to stay leashed. This is a common requirement in Singapore, as mainstream dog ownership is a very recent thing and culturally, many people just don’t like dogs at all. We have to respect that.   Anyhoo, Sunday morning it was time for Nippers in Singapore – yeah we’re not enjoying those early Sunday morning wake-ups let me tell you! But after the misery of getting up, it really is superb being out in nature with the boys, watching them learn a fabulous new skill – surf, lifesaving. ANZA is doing a superb job, as are the incredible volunteers.   Steve and I took it in turns with The Fredster while the boys worked their arses off, all the while keeping Freddy leashed so he wouldn’t jump into the kids’ lessons. A very strong possibility. At one point, I wandered down the beach a bit, away from the lesson and Freddy jumped in. He went out further, and discovered he could swim.   I was rather pleased with this photo – BBQ under a flight path It was a light-bulb moment for Freddy and I could see a new passion emerge in that instant. He couldn’t get enough of it and fur mumma was feeling super proud of our clever boy. Class over, kids in the ocean for free time, and Freddy was bloody delighted to be in there with them. The kids weren’t though. Both boys came out covered in scratches as Freddy swam up to them and tried to jump on board. My screaming at them on how to manage the situation was, of course, ignored.   Unfortunately, a little lad (not of my loins) got scratched as well. Sorry, sorry it’s his first swim, I said to the dad, who was more concerned his son would grow up scared of dogs – something he didn’t want to happen. I applaud that.   Steve probably had the best reaction though. His heart was in his mouth the whole time, worried about his little Freddy. I’ve got to tell you, watching a man fall in love with their first dog is a pretty special thing to see. Freddy is definitely Steve’s dog – no doubt about it.   Was that cute and fluffy enough for you?   Yours, without the bollocks Andrea     Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx