March 2014

Permit me to have a little rant please. So Gwyneth and Chris have taken a rather unusual approach in their public announcement of the “separation of their union.” Calling it conscious uncoupling, one would think they’ve just destroyed half the world and infected the rest of the children with some bloody hideous disease. SHIT people! I mean the fact they even have to make some sort of announcement is bloody ridiculous, but of course, the world demands stars owe us explanations, and they gave us one – one I actually thought was rather sweet and charming, but I obviously don’t have too much company thinking that. However there’s a couple of things that piss me off about the media frenzy. See below the announcement attributed to both Gwyneth AND Chris. Not just Gwyneth, both of them – see Chris’ name? – so why the hell does the world go balls out after the woman? Seriously, that’s the sort of shit that completely does my head in. When people decide to go their separate ways, there are two people involved, but anyone would think it’s just Gwyneth looking at the way the media have grabbed onto this little baby. I won’t even go into the rumor mill spewing out bollocks today…. Secondly, and this is what really pissed me off – I read this article in Slate today, written by a woman – and fuck me Jessica, but sorry, do you really think a comment by an old school mate i.e. “Even people who don’t know Gwyneth measure themselves against her success. … Gwyneth makes us feel extremely lame” is worth sharing? Old school pals are SUCH good references for the stars after all. But what the hell has Gwyneth done other than be completely gorgeous, talented, and well, just salt of the earth material? Seriously, she doesn’t deserve this shit. She’s hurting no one out there. All up, she seems like a pretty nice person. I don’t get it! Yeah she’s a Hollywood superstar, but why the hell do we need to tear her down and rip her apart? Has she really done anything to deserve that, other than be female and succeed? Anyway, I think this couple has done something pretty wonderful today. They’ve said we still love each other but have agreed it’s time to move on. I did that with a long term partner once. It still remains unusual to this day. Hatred is so much better isn’t it? That’s where Gwyneth AND Chris got it wrong! A lesbian fling Gwyneth – that would have been better – hello! Or one of you a heroin addict blowing all your money? Maybe domestic violence? Or even a religious nutter that one of you had to run away from? We seem to be able to accept that stuff, ‘cos then we have someone to feel sorry for. Maybe, just maybe, your message to the world today won’t be a bad thing in the long term. Moving on – with love continuing – is not a bad thing to do. We don’t need to get to the point where we rip each other apart do we? So I say good on you. Nice work. You did something today that was nothing short of classy. But Gwyneth, seriously, you must wonder what you have to do to get “it right.” Then again, you’ve been around long enough to know you never will. Sorry about that. I can only wish you and your family the very best. This divorce stuff ain’t easy for anyone. Anyway my rant is over, but beware ONLY mentioning Gwyneth in my vicinity, because I might just bitch slap you! Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Lex got lots of love from his Pop and Nan I recently returned from a really beautiful five days in Australia with my little love, Lex. It’s the first time we’ve split the family in two, but I knew it was important for all of us to have some time apart, so we could remember to appreciate each other when we got back together. The boys missed each other painfully, but I was thrilled to share my Dad’s 70th with my lovely son, although we both missed Jax and Steve. I have to send a special shout out to Dad, Janet, Anna, Brett, Hamish, Angus and Jen – thank you all for giving my little dude so much love, and by default, helping build his confidence. That’s what it’s all about with Lex and I appreciate it more than you could ever know. Big kisses and hugs to all of you. Anyways, I get off the plane Tuesday night and decide to check my emails – stupid idea. The first email I read was from the school we’ve been hoping to get Lex into and they said he didn’t match their “profile.” What the fuck does that mean? Well we’ve had some back and forth and from what I can tell, it doesn’t mean bloody anything. The Awesome Elliot Clan! But we’re stumped, because the reality is, we feel like we’re out of options. This was a school – designed exactly for someone like Lex – and it would have given us a good staging ground to move him up into the same school as Jax within a year or two. Alas it’s not to be, and while initially I said to Steve: “don’t worry about it love. Let’s detach from the outcome and wait and see what happens. We know he’s fine, but perhaps there’s a better option around the corner, but we just can’t see it yet?” Then it started sinking in and last night I tossed and turned and tossed and turned, stewing, stewing, stewing, because the reality is, there is no other place I can see for Lex right now. The mainstream or “normal” international education system seems to have an exclusionary policy when it comes to any child with any challenge what-so-ever. The special needs system is perfect for kids with long-term special needs, but for kids who have challenges in-the-meantime, I just don’t believe it’s the right environment – wait let me clarify – I don’t believe it’s the right environment for Lex. I can’t speak for other parents. Long ago I came to a conclusion that children today seemed to be defined into two buckets – “normal” kids and “special” kids. But you know what, in the middle of those two categories are a whole host of other bloody kids that fit neither left nor right, up nor down, but they’re still awesome and just need the education system to give them a bloody break and make space for them to grow in a way that suits THEM. I mean, we’re even willing to pay for that. Many simply cannot or it’s just not available to them. Aunty Jen instructing in Marshmallow Roasting Techniques I can’t tell you how much it concerns me where the world is going in regards to how we’re assessing children today. I know that sometimes it’s completely relevant to assess a child to ensure you are able to provide the support they need. But when you have a child where an assessment is not label-able it is very challenging. Oh and if you’re wondering, Lex has been assessed multiple times and has no definable issue other than needing time to catch up – just in case you were wondering. The one thing that does help me – and also helps me detach from the outcome – is a supreme confidence that when Lex is all grown up into a hunky man, he will be the best at whatever it is he chooses to do – because Lex has magic in him. The challenge is we just can’t seem to get anyone in the education system to see it, because he’s not ticking all of the “normal” boxes, and yet, neither is he ticking the “special” boxes. He’s in undefined territory – SHITE how do you deal with that? Well you don’t, you just reject them. A pre-flight boarding selfie So we sit and contemplate, with no idea what to do next. Steve and I know we have to continue on our prolonged journey of heartbreak (it’s really hard when your child is rejected let me tell you) and the only thing that keeps us going is a supreme belief that our little man is awesome now and he’s going to be crack-a-lacking as a man. It’s just very hard to stay detached from the outcome right now… Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Steve arrived home Sunday morning after nearly two weeks away in the US. It’s a tough trip for all of us when he’s away that long (especially the US) because he’s asleep when the boys are up – apart from the morning chaos when we’re all scrambling to get out the door – but equally, Steve is always flat-out, in meetings, entertaining customers and partners, etc… While he’s doing that I’m also juggling the boys, work, meetings, AND keeping my love informed throughout the day so he feels connected to home. It’s bloody intense. However, more than anything, when Steve is away for a long time our little guys really miss him – and it’s getting more intense. As such, I always do everything I can to be there for them to ensure their emotional needs are being met. I don’t go out, don’t make any plans, don’t do anything really – as my number one goal during this time is to give them a ton of cuddles to make them feel valued and loved, and to do things that make them feel happy. Steve is the same when I’m away. It’s just really important to us to do that and make them feel super special, whether they’re with one or both parents. However, when Steve gets home (always exhausted), it’s like my whole body collapses because I can finally relax and share the emotional load again. I carry the tension differently every time, and this time I carried it in my jaw. When Sunday came around, I was finally able to let the clenching go – which was handy, because it was getting rather painful. The only comparison that makes any sense is when you go on holidays. After a few days you finally relax and BAM, you’re sick as a dog for the rest of your vacation. It’s the same when Steve gets home – I can relax and with that, everything I’ve been carrying within kicks me in the arse and knocks me on my back. I don’t often get sick, but one thing I do feel is a whole bunch of muscles unravelling, which usually requires a visit to the osteo to get everything back in order. I can feel my back and neck muscles all mushed up right now – it’s pleasant. This parenting malarkey definitely wears me out, but I really couldn’t be without my little dudes. They seem to take so much from us, but the magic in our life is more profound since their entry into our world. I know I don’t mind what it takes out of me, because I just believe that what I’m doing right now is too important for their futures – and that’s what parenting is all about right? More than all of that, I’m just really pleased to have my man home – I really missed him this trip. Equally, I am reminded again of how much I admire (and take my hat off to) single parents every day. When I go through periods where I am one, I seriously want to get down and kiss their feet – remarkable and tough stuff single parenting. I’m glad I get to share that ride – most of the time at least. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea