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I went back to the Annie Lebowitz Exhibition last night, which has been on in Singapore since April. I went a couple of months ago, but didn’t have enough time to see it all, so I had to finish it. Last night was also the finale and we made it within four minutes of last ticket sales. Phew! Another reason I wanted to go back is I really wanted Steve to see it. I wanted to know how it made him feel. He has never been to a photographic exhibition – it’s just never been on his radar – so making sure he knew why I found it so powerful was important to me. And then we had our great friend Lee Ann McKee in town. Lee Ann is living in Bali and enjoying her escape to civilization again, so a bit of art and culture was a balm for her soul. Personally I think this exhibition is amazing! I’m not sure where it’s going next, but if you have an opportunity to go, please do. As a general reaction, I never expected it to be so personal. Right from word go, Annie shares her famous photographs and then smaller life and family photos are mixed with that. The pictures of her family are amazing – especially her parents. I spent a lot of time looking at them, wondering what they did as parents to raise the person who has become the world’s most famous photographer. Her Mum in particular caught my attention. In every photo she is moving, dancing, smiling, leaping, or swimming, and her life seems to be about action and joy. As you go through the exhibition, her parents get older, until you see some of the final moments of her family together just before her father dies. This includes some harrowing images of him just as he passed. It’s incredibly moving and powerful watching the aging process of her parents, and it provides the most amazing context to life – a message to live with joy and freedom of spirit, because there’s only one certainty at the end. Susan Sontag’s life journey is also captured until she dies. The way Annie both photograph’s Susan and speaks of her love of life, curiosity about the world, and the joy she gets from experiencing everything, is incredibly moving. It seems this relationship is one of the great love stories of our time, and how they both inspired and energized each other comes through all the way through the exhibition. The famous photos are a privilege to see. You look into the eyes of icons and see a piece of their soul that day. But equally, the less famous people are magical too. Then there is a series of gut-wrenching war photos from Bosnia and Rwanda – and I must say, what Annie chose to capture during those horrifying moments’ rocks you back and shows you a brutality that continues to exist in our world. Overall, I found this exhibition inspiring. I don’t know how Annie became the most famous photographer in the world – it’s been a complex journey – but she did, and you understand that a lifetime of focus can get you to the top of your game. It’s also inspiring as she constantly celebrates her family and community throughout the exhibition. Her family and friends were the center of her world and you feel a great sense of celebration and appreciation towards these people all through her life. As I’ve lived away from my original “home” for nearly 20 years in four other countries, this touched me deeply. It made me long for community around me – the sort of community you get old with. There were other inspirational elements, but the final aspect that stood out was the beauty you saw in every photo – whether young or old. In the case of older people, you could see every line and crevice in their face, but it was beautiful and a great lesson in loving yourself through the aging process. You knew that the only important thing was the heart inside, but she shows us the packaging is beautiful too. This exhibition touched me deeply and has really inspired me to be the best I can be – as a human and in my professional journey too. I’m really thankful to Annie for giving me that. When I asked Steve what he thought, he said: “I wasn’t expecting it to have such an emotional impact on me. I knew the famous pictures and I loved seeing them, but it was the other pictures that really struck me. I wasn’t expecting to be moved at all – but I was, and that was so surprising to me.” Lee Ann loved it as well. For me, I’m pretty sure Steve will jump the next time I get all psyched up about an exhibition. Cool. Anyone else seen it? Did it move you too? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Bronte Beach – I want a house here In March I took Lex to Melbourne to celebrate my Dad’s 70th birthday. It was our first splitting-the-family-in-two adventure. This last weekend, I took Jax to Sydney for a very special wedding and to spend time with awesome friends. Based on both experiences, I have to say, the 1-2-1 adventures are a worthy investment for us. In both cases, I found it an incredibly special time with my little guys. I was it. Their rock in the world. Their number one. For a few days anyway. And it was lovely. The trip with Jax was very different to the one I had with Lex. No farm country and calm family time on this visit. Instead I found myself hanging out with my pudding in so many different situations with people he can’t remember meeting, and observing him in these situations was really insightful. He’s a confident lad our Jaxie, and that’s something I admire so much in him. I hope no one ever crushes it. Uncle Carlos But equally, I’ve never really had too many chances to observe him interacting with people solo – he’s always got Lex backing him up, or they just don’t care who we’re with and piss off. The interesting thing I noticed is Jax gets all super serious and grumpy with new people – until they warm him up and then the game is on. Uncle Gav definitely got special marks in this category, but then he does with all the kids. You gotta love a guy who has that special thing with kids. How beautiful does Annemarie look? Another interesting observation – for us especially – is Jax is pretty cool to take into rather “boring” situations by kids’ standards – you know, the type where you don’t get to move much? For one, he had his first ever official visit to a Church. Not only were we in a Church for the first time, but we were there for two whole hours, and Jax was so cool, he even lay down on the pew for a sleep – awesome. After that, at the reception, he got annoying with his wedding cake obsession, but ultimately, he sat there for quite a few hours while the rest of us talked and drank. Cool! Beyond the wedding, there was a lot of back garden hanging out and again, no worries. The highlight for Jax was 1. There was a dog and 2. On the first night he got to build and maintain a fire. In fact, he enjoyed his fire so much, we ended up setting up a bed next to it, which meant I could take him to bed when I was ready to go. As we say in our house – I’ll ‘av some of that. Bed by the fire For me, it was incredibly lovely being in Sydney and sharing it with Jax. I love that town, but it is the friends’ there that make it a super special place. It was gorgeous watching them really speaking with and working hard to connect with Jax, because let’s face it, a sign of great mates is a genuine interest in developing their own relationships with your kids. I always walk away from Sydney feeling whole and usually with a good abdominal work-out due to excessive laughter. I always need a good dose of that, especially as life can get just a little too serious sometimes. Unfortunately, there are always so many people I don’t get to see, and I made a fundamental error this time. I communicated my travel plans with the very un-socially savvy Lorna. Bless that woman, but try getting her on Facebook. Not her forte. Maybe I should run my social media workshop with her? Nah, it wouldn’t work. Uncle Gav and Libby We’re back in the mesh of life again, with the boys back at school, us at work. But it was a really lovely time with the Jaxster and he seemed to enjoy it. With that said, he was definitely happy to come home again (“I don’t want to travel to Australia anymore Mum, let’s go back to Singapore”), only because he missed Lex desperately – you should’ve heard the phone calls – very cute. But separating them seems to be a good and healthy experience for all of us and I reckon we’ll keep up the trend. Now I’ve got to start planning my next trip with Lex. Where should I take him? Or maybe it’s Steve turn to take the boys on separate adventures? Yeah, that’d be fair. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to hang out with us and for going the extra mile to make it special, especially the addition of compulsory Lady Edwardia goodies. Much appreciated. So anyone else do the separate kids adventure thing? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Yesterday was a pretty miserable day at our place. Steve and I moved the boys into separate bedrooms and the physical-ness of moving heavy pieces of furniture left my back close to spasm. It’s not a lot of fun when it spasms. However, Steve was even more miserable because he was NOT into the idea at all, but I wouldn’t let it go and in the end, he gave up the fight. His “office” is now in an alcove off the living room, and as he works from home when he’s not travelling, he ain’t a happy camper. Jax finally carked it yesterday after a couple of weeks of 5am starts… BUT something had to change. We were all miserable. For months and months now, the boys have been waking up around 5-6am every day, causing havoc in the home (especially with the cats) while it’s still pitch black outside. Every morning we’d wake up frustrated, angry, and pretty unhappy, because not only was it too early for us, we knew exactly what each day would bring – two miserable, emotional boys who hadn’t had enough bloody sleep. When you look at your child’s face and all you see are HUGE black rings under their eyes, it doesn’t feel good. When you’re exhausted from working long hours and then have to deal with tired, emotional boys, it is not easy to count to three or find the love and patience required to get through a day. When you wake up and find your kids gone, hunting around the condo for the cats or climbing to the highest point they can find (unsupervised), that’s not a great start to the day either. When you wake up and smell burning (see previous blog), see the detritus of a fridge raid, or whatever other little surprise they left for us, it’s just not the way to start a contented day. So when nothing is working change everything right? Well that was my idea, because the bottom line is, we all need to get more sleep. We’re all worn out and wrung out. We’ve all had enough and it’s not working for any of us. We just can’t be cool, calm and collected parents when we ain’t rested. If I think back to the last 12 months, there’s been too much emotional tension in the house. Naturally, all blame cannot be placed at the feet of our children. They’re just being kids and they’ll get through it – resist persist. However for us to thrive in the midst of family and work life, we need to get enough sleep. We also need to feel relaxed and at ease when we go to bed. That’s been missing. We need to get it back. Steve woke up with the kids this morning. The first report in indicates Lex went into Jax’s room just before 7am and played the drums until he woke up. A success? Well it wasn’t between 5-6am – so a tick. He did, however, go into Jax’s room on the threat of death, so that also means a cross. It’ll take time for them to adjust and get used to not being with each other all the time I suppose. I just hope this works, otherwise I’ll have an extremely grumpy husband, resenting me for losing his office. Perhaps ‘staying in the room reward charts’ are the way to go? Any suggestions? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea 

So it was Jax’s turn to have something removed from his ear this week, after deciding it would be a terrific idea to insert Blu Tack (which, incidentally, he picked off the sole of his shoe) inside this orifice. Why it was a good idea in his mind is completely beyond me, but apparently, not an unusual thing for boys (in particular) to do. To be completely transparent, he actually did it about a week ago, but because it was soft and not causing any pain, we weren’t in a rush to get medical assistance, hoping olive oil would do the trick. It didn’t. Jax’s first unsuccessful attempt at extraction We know this lack of rush is directly attributable to our recent experience with Lex. About six months ago, he decided to put a plastic pearl in his ear and that little exercise cost us well over $4,000. At that time, the doctor managed to get Steve into such a panic, he felt there was no choice but to rush ahead with surgery. Definitely a lesson learned and definitely a case of “stupid tax” – something not uncommon in this part of the world. Naturally, anytime your child does something like this and you share it with those around you, people regale you with their stories. I always remember my older brother, Paul, being inclined towards insertion, with a huge marble removed from his nose. My younger brother Mark was less focused on insertion into his orifices, but always managed to do things that caused injuries and sores on his face. There’s barely a school photo without a facial injury. Our friends in Sydney – The Boltons – had a situation where one of their daughters snorted a piece of sponge into her sinus cavity. It was the smell that gave it away, as it eventually started to rot – UGH! But how’s this? One of Steve’s colleagues in the US empathized with our situation, and then told him her son once had 19 tiny pebbles removed from his ear. NINETEEN??? Every bloke I speak with seems to have an orifice story of some description. Naturally, you wonder why? Why is there such a strong compulsion to explore their bodies in this way? Why does it feel like a good idea? What does that sensation feel like? I can’t come to terms with the why, but I do appreciate the need to explore one’s body when young, and of course, boys grow into men and it’s all about sticking things into things, so I can only draw a very lose conclusion that it’s got something to do with that. Or maybe not. Who knows? The good news is this adventure only cost us a touch shy of $500, no surgery was required, all up the experience wasn’t too harrowing, and Jax now has a Blu Tack-free ear. In some ways I wish the experience was just a little bit more uncomfortable, because it might actually turn him off doing it again? We definitely work hard to ensure the boys don’t have to suffer unnecessarily in medical situations if we have options, because we don’t want them terrified for the rest of their lives. But maybe we’re not really doing them a favor? If it’s all too nice and lovely an experience, the lessons may not be learned? Anyone else have stories of children sticking stuff into ears and noses you’d like to share? And with that, bloody kids, why the hell did we have them again? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

One always admires the flower arrangements in Asia I’m in Ubud, Bali for a few days. I’m here for TEDx Ubud, which is on tomorrow and my great mate Duncan McKee is one of the speakers. It’s my first live TED talk, so definitely super excited, but even more excited because I’m here to support Duncs. I’m also appreciating this time because, I get to have a little bit of silence – away from the constant noise of my days. I need silence. I don’t get a lot of it to be honest, and what this means is I struggle for clarity if I’m always surrounded by “noise.” I guess I’m lucky I’m not afraid of my own head. Anyhoo, I’ve just returned from a three hour spa session. Steve booked it, because he really wants me to have an amazing and relaxing time while I’m here. He’s a sweetheart my husband, but he also knows that I wouldn’t have booked it myself. No matter how much I needed it. My little spa hut Spa-ing has never been my thing. In fact, to be honest, for most of my life, I have absolutely detested going to spas. While everyone else comes out chilled and happy, it’s always made me feel anxious and uptight. I can’t explain it, it doesn’t make any sense, but it has always been that way. So I’ve tended to step away from the spa experiences. It’s started to change in the last couple of years though, mainly because I’ve had times when I’ve desperately needed a massage. My muscles can get so tight they go into spasm, and when this happens it’s excruciatingly painful and capable of knocking me out for a couple of days. I had one of those spasms in the middle of my back just a couple of weeks ago – it’s not pleasant. Today’s spa was rather interesting. This little control freak had no idea what Steve had booked. Well it turns out he booked the works. It started with a massage – boy a massage brings out the weariness in your lower back doesn’t it? – and before I knew it, I was covered in a fruit scrub, and then lathered in yogurt. Thank god they didn’t do the seaweed wrap – I don’t like that – too sweaty in the tropics! Next up was a facial, flower bath and finally a mani pedi. A bath of flowers The question is – did I enjoy it? Well yes, I think so. I know I didn’t completely relax, and that’s mainly because the door was always open – with people having a look-see right outside the door. But equally, at one point, a man came in to do my pedi. I’ve never had a man do that before, have you? But my skin is now soft and supple, the weariness gone from my muscles, my nails are red – naturally – and tomorrow I’m ready to be wowed by the creative and inspiring speakers scheduled for TEDx Ubud. Will let you know how that goes. In the meantime, thank you Steve for being such a sweet husband. I’m a lucky girl. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

Last weekend, the boys were up pre-6am lighting fires in their bedroom and somehow we got away with no damage, phew! This weekend, it was the same timeframe and they both drank a full can of Pepsi and shared a can of Sprite. Soft drink is not something we encourage excessive use of in this house – especially at breakfast time. So to tackle the Soft drink obsession – once and for all – I decided to show them photos of people with brown teeth – specifically from soda damage. The images were revolting, and I hope they got the message. They certainly didn’t like looking at the pics that’s for sure. Furthering the practice of demonstrating consequences through photos, we had another lightning bolt earlier this week. The boys admitted they were getting into electrical boxes around the condo and cutting the wires with nail scissors – AWESOME!! Why are they still alive? The electrical burn photos were a lot more gruesome than the brown teeth, and we can only hope they got THAT message after seeing a lot of charred appendages. Is this a great way to approach things? We don’t know. We just don’t want them to die, but as they have no comprehension of death, and continue to do dangerous things, they get us to the point of taking extreme measures. It ain’t a lot of fun. But it’s wearing us out. We want to trust them. We believe it’s extremely important for them – from a developmental perspective – to know they are trusted. We believe a child with a parents’ trust can develop strong self-confidence and self-worth. But we can’t trust them. We give them as much space as we can to enable them to grow, but every time we step back and give them this space, something crazy happens. I don’t care if they get into trouble – in fact, it’s great when someone other than us has a word with them. But I do care when they do something that can get them killed – I really care. Ultimately, all of this nonsense forces Steve and I to operate at an energy level that is exhausting. We can never fully relax. We can’t go to sleep in peace – especially on the weekends – because we never know what we’ll find when they/we wake up.  Right now, it’s tougher than normal, because we’re in a “wake up before the birds” phase. That’s been a fairly consistent thing since they were born. Our boys have never slept in, but every now and again, we go through a few months where wake-up time is only hours after we go to bed.  When this phase kicks in, there is nothing we can do about it, other than wait for it to be over (and remember our Resist Persist mantra). But it does add to the exhaustion, as the combination of crazy antics with early rises results in two weary bloody parents. Not to mention two tired, emotional little lads that do our heads in. This parenting journey for us has not been easy – not easy at all. We adore our electrifying little dudes, but bloody hell, sometimes it would be nice if they gave us a break. Are there any other parents out there feeling even remotely the same way? Please tell me we’re not alone? Bloody kids I tell ya! Why can’t they just grab one of our Surfaces and watch videos like everyone else’s kids seem to do at sparrow fart? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

I will be forever grateful to  George R R Martin for awakening a global passion for one of the greatest genres of all time – fantasy. I’ve been an addict since I read The Hobbit back in 1982 (scary time frame) and have consumed just about everything written since. Some fantasy writers haven’t captured my imagination in the same way – Robert Jordan lost me by book four, Cecilia Dart-Thorntonby book two – but that’s rare.  Most fantasy writers lure me in instantly and I escape into worlds of wonder. So for those who have finally embraced fantasy but don’t know what to read next, here is a list of my favorite authors – in no particular order. There are always more, but this is a scan of my bookshelf for my favs. If you’re impatiently waiting for “The World of Ice and Fire” – scheduled to come out in October – this list should keep you going for about 20 years. Robin Hobb – “The Farseer Trilogy” and “The Liveship Traders” – awesome, awesome, awesome. Read anything Robin does, it’s terrific Brent Weeks – “The Night Angel Trilogy” – this series will blow your mind. Completely different kind of fantasy. I’m actually waiting for the next book in “The Painted Man” series to come out, so a reminder to go to the book shop Kate Elliot – one of the greats and “The Crown of Stars” series is brilliant – I love her Jennifer Fallon – “The Hythrun Chronicles” – wonderful series Maggie Furey – “The Aurian Series” – I need to see if she has published more! Sara Douglas – I’ve loved all of her books, with a special place for “The Axis Trilogy,” but equally enjoyed “The Wayfarer Redemption,” “The Crucible” and “The Troy Game.” We lost a great talent when she died Terry Goodkind – “The Sword of Truth” series. Loved it Conn Iggulden – while some wouldn’t put Conn on a fantasy list, I definitely think he deserves to be here. A writer of more historical fiction, his “Conqueror” series on Genghis Khan is brilliant David Zindell – “The Ea Cycle,” in fact it’s reminded me that I need to go back and re-read this series. Been too long David Gemmell – he’s one of my all-time favorites and created wonderful characters like “Druss the Legend.” If you haven’t read his work, give yourself a thrill. The books are short and can be read in any order. If you need a quick read, David is your man. Another RIP Trudi Canavan – another great Aussie female fantasy writer, I loved loved “The Black Magician” series, and she’s just launched a new series woohoo Jude Fisher – creator of “Fool’s Gold.” I must go and see if there’s any new books in the series. Wonderful, creative writer Janny Wurts – one of the truly great fantasy writers, who I first discovered when she co-wrote “The Empire” series with Raymond E. Feist, this woman is one hell of a talent. Love all of her books Rowena Cory Daniells – my word this lady can write and it’s fast-paced wonderful stuff. Check out “The Outcast Chronicles” and “The Chronicles of King Rolen’s Kin” J. V. Jones – “The Sword of Shadows” series is a cracking read – brilliant characters, wonderful story, definitely highly recommend it David Farland – it’s been a long time since I read his books and I must re-read them – check out “The Sum of all Men” Tadd Williams – “The Shadowmarch” series – another one I may need to read again Raymond E. Feist – one of my favorite fantasy writers of all time, I only recently read the last book “Magician’s End” – no, please don’t end! A wonderful series, written over 30 years, my first recommendation to anyone who’s never read fantasy but wants to give it a go, is to start with “Magician.” I am actually planning to read the whole series again The interesting thing about fantasy is how it’s evolved. It started with journeys – think Tolkien to David Eddings. Then Raymond E. Feist moved the storylines to multiple worlds and moments – birthing a new style of fantasy. Then women started to come into the fold, with many wonderful super stars today. It’s awesome. We have so many different types of writers, but equally, we have very distinctive feminine and masculine styles too, and I like both. For my hubby, he’s definitely more attracted to the masculine. It’s a great time for fantasy and hopefully more talents will be inspired to publish their yarns following the great success of Game of Thrones. Exciting. What’s next? I hope these suggestions provide some reading inspiration, and if you are a fellow fantasy nut and think I’ve missed anyone critical, please let me know? I may have not listed someone you love because I wasn’t such a fan, but equally, I’m always on the lookout for new fantasy authors. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

In the midst of emotions while writing “Lex at a New School, Mum and Dad Cry,” as soon as I posted the blog, I immediately recognized I missed an opportunity to say thank you. That thanks is to an incredible group of people – the team at Excelerate, where Lex has been schooling for the last couple of years. Pika, Jo, Shermic, Suresh and Teacher Hanam. What a magical, loving, beautiful group of people. Pika and Jo run the school, but I was always struck by a conversation I had with Pika about why she started the school a decade ago. Beginning her career as a speech therapist, she told me she was completely frustrated by the lack of a holistic approach to kids dealing with various challenges. Some enlightened thinking at last. If I defined Excelerate from my own experience, I’d say it’s a place with world-class therapists and teachers, who bring no judgment to their students, and instead have one thing in common – a singular focus to help their kids overcome and thrive – addressing whatever needs to be tackled along the way. No unnecessary labels, no exclusion, just hard work and dedication. What they achieved with Lex has been superb and showed us that he is going to be OK! We found Excelerate accidentally, which was super lucky, because we were running out of options back then. However, from the minute we met them, we knew this was the place, these are the people who can help Lex right now, this was it. And they have – with so much love it’s been incredible. We’ll all miss them. But more than that, they’ve helped Steve and I. When we went into doubt, they helped us find our hope again. When we felt lost, they gave us strength to find the way back. And most importantly, in the last year when we’ve been trying to find a new school for Lex, they’ve been there to help us through the rejections again and again. Oh those rejections. May we never have to endure that shit again. I don’t think my heart could do another! When we speak to other parents of children with a need-for-now or a long-term-need, all of them relate to the feelings we go through on a daily basis, because they have those feelings too. All of us understand how it feels to have our child rejected. All of us have dealt with so called professionals with zero compassion and insight. All of us have dealt with people wanting to classify our child so it makes it easier for them – screw whether it’s right or not. All of us have had to deal with the subtle criticism by family and friends. All of us parents with kids outside the “normal” zone – whatever that means – know what it’s like, and we hurt a lot. Pika, Jo, Shermic, Suresh and Teacher Hanam know this too. They live it with the parents every day. The team at Excelerate got Lex caught up and on track, and we could not have done it without them. I know that many people around the world, who’ve been commenting on my blogs about their own experiences with speech delayed kids, don’t have the benefit of a team like this. But I wish every town and every city had an Excelerate to help them through. Unfortunately many don’t have anything. But if you are in Singapore and your little one is showing some signs of a struggle, I could not recommend a school more. Check them out. You’ll never look back. And Team Excelerate – thank you thank you thank you. We can never express our gratitude enough. With love and without the bollocks Andrea, Steve, Lex and Jax xxxxx

Lex started at his new school this week and by all accounts, it’s been a smooth start. Called the International Integrated School, it is both a mainstream school with an excellent support programme. IIS wasn’t our first choice. We desperately wanted Lex to go to the same school as his brother, but until his speech is 100 per cent there – and we’re dealing with an enunciation issue now – the “normal” schools won’t take him. Lex was super-excited to be wearing a uniform On the journey to yesterday, we struggled with many more rejections – something we’ve never mastered and know we never will – but he’s in the right place now and that is all that matters. The only important thing is for Lex to be in a school that nurtures, loves and supports him, based on who he is and where he is right now. Not being able to speak like all of the other kids would’ve made him a potential target for ridicule, and that is something we’re glad to avoid. He’s a sensitive soul and struggles if he thinks he’s being laughed at – who doesn’t? So all in all, it’s a very good thing. Because of the speech challenge, Lex is behind academically. The reason? If you can’t understand what someone is saying to you, you can’t learn to read, write, etc.. So we’ve had to accept that he’s about a year behind and catching up fast. His academic achievements have vastly improved this year, because he has made the conscious decision that HE is ready to embrace academic life. Little bugger. As such, he might catch up to his year group, or he will be in the same year as his brother. I struggled with that idea, because I really wanted them to have their own space, but then I thought – who bloody cares in the long run, as long as he’s OK? I mean they’re only 15 months apart after all. So yesterday, Steve and I took him for his first day of school. Lex was cool as a cucumber until we got to the front door, then he wrapped himself around my legs but still moved forward. With no stress at all, he put on a brave face and went in to the class room. We were very proud of him, as we are of both our courageous boys. A quality we admire in both of their spirits. Thankfully, Lex was greeted with love and smiles, they took him around the classroom, he found his cubby hole, put his bag away, started working the room out, sat down and that was it. Mum and Dad, on the other hand, stood outside the class room, where Mum burst into tears while trying to hide it from everyone (didn’t work) and Dad quickly followed suit. Awesome! We were a bloody mess. Since that brief outburst I’ve been thinking why? Are we unhappy with where he is going? No. It’s not where we wanted, but it’s right for him, so that’s not it. Do we feel that Lex is moving to a new stage in his life and mourning earlier days? While many parents may feel like that, we DEFINITELY do not! Progress is good. Going back not so good. So what is it? What made us emotional? It has to be the fact that Lex is FINALLY on the road to a very normal mischievous boys’ life. He’s getting an awesome education, his speech is almost 100 per cent, everything we’ve ever said about him has been right – love and patience were the only requirements (as well as a lot of speech therapy) – and we can see an end to a very grueling five years of worry, other’s judgments, misunderstandings, rejections, angst, and well, a whole lot more. It’s been really shit. That’s why we cried. It’s done. Our little lad is going to be A-OK! Fucken bloody KIDS!!! Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

When flying into Bali last week, I had the pleasure of sitting with both boys, constantly asking “are we there yet?” Now it’s only a couple of hours by plane from Singapore to Bali, so it’s not a long way to go, but obviously, it got me thinking about my own childhood. As you might have read in a previous blog – “The Datsun is Back” – when we asked “are we there yet?” 1. No one could hear us, and 2. We were suffering spine crushing pain and had a very good reason to be where we were going. Equally, we were regularly in the car for at least three hours, because, let’s face it, Australia is a big bloody place. My boys have not had to suffer too much car pain, as driving around Singapore just doesn’t require the same level of time commitment. As our holiday in Bali progressed, we had a few more “long” drives, heading out to explore the Island. We saw some awesome stuff and experienced the true beauty of the Balinese people – seriously, if you haven’t been to Bali, go – especially if you have kids. They love kids – even mine. But every trip seemed like torture for my kids, with them moaning and carrying on all the way – “are we there yet?” Or “It’s been so long Mummy, how much longer…” after about 10 minutes. OK boys, I get it, you’re not used to sitting in a car and have no capacity to appreciate watching life go by yet. You’ll get there. I love nothing more than watching life and taking it all in. Although that’s hard to do with moaning children for company, and obviously why my Dad bought the Datsun – a smart man. Some days were really hard for Steve and I. We’re working really hard to give our boys sensational experiences – far beyond what we both had as kids. We want them to be more worldly aware, more international, and incapable of hating another person for the color of their skin or the beliefs they hold dear. We think the world can be a better place if we achieve that, which is our ultimate goal. In the last 12 months, these little guys have been in five countries, but it appears they’re just not old enough to appreciate the experiences – yet. Maybe one day. I would’ve killed for the stuff we’re doing when I was a kid, but for them it’s boring, or taking too long, or can we get a toy now, or, or, or. It kills us. Especially when they get to see beautiful vistas like this Or life in all it’s beauty Or nature at it’s draw dropping best Or mythological performances Or just a lot of bloody fun Or a private Gamelan lesson with Putu Or just hours and hours exploring the beach with Aunty Vick and Finley When my frustration with them builds, I have to check myself, because I know if this was my journey as a kid – no matter how much I believe otherwise – I would’ve also said “are we there yet?” and been a massive, ungrateful pain in my parents’ arse. It just seems to be how kids are built. One day I hope my kids say Mum and Dad, our childhood was awesome, thanks! Hopefully they won’t have to spend years in a psychiatrists chair before they realize that. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea