Fuck it Enough

My friend Anna Flinn came over recently, and we were in social media planning mode for her impending TEDx talk. We got to chatting and drinking wine (as gals do), and our conversation evolved to things we really wanted to do but hadn’t gotten around to yet. We’ve all got them, right? For me, it was launching a Without the Bollocks video conversation series, where I spend time with great pals from around the world, and we simply catch up on life, lessons learned on the journey, and then we talk about our deepest fears, all while drinking great red wine.   I have wanted to do this for the longest time, because I’ve often found that when people voice their fears and are willing to pull them apart, they realize these fears are controlling their lives, and yet in almost every case, completely irrelevant. Perhaps if we can just let these fears go, who knows what is possible? I’m not talking about phobia-type-fears. I’ve certainly got a couple of those. I’m talking about the shitty voice in our head, that tells us what we can and cannot achieve. I’ve also found that fears are usually linked to our early years, when others told us who we were and infused us with their beliefs. That’s the crux of where it goes astray, in my view. We get disconnected from our source. Anyhoo, Anna challenged me to do it and I said, OK, let’s go. So here we are. My first conversation ‘Without the Bollocks’ and what a lesson it’s been just doing a single video! I went out and bought lights straight after this. Doing video is definitely a new chapter and one that scares the shit out of me. But we’ve got to face it and do it anyway, right? Every conversation is going to be completely different, and I really just hope you enjoy it and maybe there might even be an idea that helps. You never know. If nothing else, hopefully it’ll give you a laugh. Anna thank you for challenging me to start, and please, shake off that scared little girl, you smart, sassy woman you. To all of my friends, I’m coming for you. There is no escape, but please read this blog – It’s Wine Time – before making your red wine purchase…. 😉. I can’t wait to introduce all of you to my world. My next video will be with my hubby Steve. It’s in editing now…. Although we won’t be editing anything out…. Big news in the next one. Talk to me about your fears anytime? I’d love to hear, especially if you identified them and got rid of them. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea   You can get awesome pop art images on Shutterstock. Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

It’s 1995, I’m travelling around India, now in Calcutta, trying to decide if I go to China or Sri Lanka next. I left Australia with a one-way ticket – Melbourne, Kathmandu, New Delhi and London.   I’d originally planned to go to China after Nepal and India, but the Chinese embassy in Melbourne screwed up my visa application and gave me the wrong date. I had to get a new one but China wasn’t an easy country to deal with back in 1995! Not to forget, it might not be possible now I’d started my trip – it’s not like I could hand my passport over and hang around waiting for weeks, right? And it did take weeks back then… I kept trying to make China work, and one thing I considered is crossing the border into Pakistan and heading North over the mountains, where I’d cross into China. I would be able to get a visa at the border there – right? I was sure of it. Now remember, this was 1995 – a different time and it was a massively appealing adventure for me. Today, not so much. But then I saw an astrologist. You can’t avoid this in India. She said: I don’t know where you are planning to travel next, but there are mountains and if you go this way, many men will break into your room and rape you. Oh awesome. Do I ignore it? Believe it? Let it impact me? But then I’d be pretty stupid to knowingly (possibly) put myself into a situation where I might be gang raped, yes? I mean, that would make me a fuckwit. So back to the planning board and I head to my favourite breakfast place in Calcutta – great coffee and the bestbanana pancakes I’ve ever had in my life. I’m sure it’s still there. At this point, I’m considering China (via alternative routes) or Sri Lanka. I could fly to Hong Kong (still British at this point and the old AWESOME airport was still operational), where I’d get a visa and cross into China. Or I could fly to Sri Lanka, which was enormously desirable as an option and so much easier. Coffee delivered, newspaper opened “Tourists in Colombo will be Killed” – or something close to that. It wasn’t a good chapter for a lot of people in Sri Lanka at this time, but for me personally it was a FAARCCKKK…. But it made things easy. Off to China I was going and it was a whole other country back in 1995, less polluted too. It was my first miss on Sri Lanka. I’ve been planning to go back ever since – almost booked it twice – but somehow, it just hasn’t happened. Well that changes tomorrow. We’re off on a family holiday to Sri Lanka and I am completely excited. I’ll be sharing loads of pictures and experiences along the way, and thrilled to experience this for the first time together with my three boys. We do have fun adventuring together. If you have any tips, must-sees or shopping recommendations, let me know? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Silhouettes of traditional fishermen photo courtesy of Shutterstock. Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

I had dinner with a wonderful group of friends recently and asked everyone what was bad and what was good for them in 2016? Well, actually, it was phrased more like what fucken sucked and what was awesome, but both work right? Some answered with things closer to home, some answered spiritually, and some were out there facing down the issues of our world. It was fascinating. We are all so different and so unique, and what sucks for one is definitely not the same as what sucks for the next person. Neither is the joy of life the same.   After it was revealed that George Michael and Carrie Fisher died this week, I’m like yeah – fuck you 2016, you have totally sucked the big one!! George was my early teen years’ idol and I loved him; Carrie was a significant part of my younger years and a role model in living life, screwing up, only to get back up again. There’s definitely no question too many greats left us this year. But more than famous people dying off, there just seemed to be so much BAD going down in 2016. From the on-going refugee crisis, with thousands dying at sea, many sold into sexual slavery, and just too many suffering too much when we should be taking better care of each other; to the complete and utter shit storm of Syria and most recently, the atrocity of Aleppo; add to this all of the terrorist incidents across the year (including those carried out by white Christian people); Donald-fucking-Trump; Brexit; the rise of white supremacists; Daesh and their pathetic doctrine; the massacre and neglect of the Rohingya people and my dwindling love for Aung San Suu Kyi as she does nothing; extinctions of the world’s beautiful creatures with so many more teetering on the brink; the rise to power of climate change deniers; the on-going attitude of profit for profits sake; environmental destruction continuing unabated; the Great Barrier Reef bleaching event; sadistic rulers coming into power; the bollocks in Turkey, Russia, Greece, Italy and more; youth unemployment around the world; inequality off the charts; the continuing destruction of the forests that just happen to deliver the very air we breathe; the rise of fearfulness towards those different to ourselves; and on I could go. Not all of the sucky stuff for 2016 is new, of course, but the fact that we are still continuing as we always have concerns me greatly. The world is not dying, but our ability to live on it is. The world will recover whatever we throw at it, but we may not. Why don’t we get this? Why are we so fucken stupid? And mostly, why do we allow ourselves to get side-tracked by bollocks and hatred, when what we really need to do right now is focus on the biggest issues facing our world collectively?   So if I summed up one thing that sucked in 2016, it is the massive stupidity on show and that is definitely what is fucking me off the most. Even those who profit from this time won’t survive it. It’s just crazy shit. But then I think about the good stuff. My magnificent husband, who had a great year in his own right, and continues to show me incredible support for all I want to achieve. I am a lucky gal and adore him. Add to this the privilege of watching my beautiful boys growing into the men they will become – all heart and passion. Oh sure, they give me the shits every day, but I’m sure I give them the shits every day too. I’ve also loved this year because I’ve developed loads of new friendships and built a new community around my family in Singapore, which has been lovely. Friends come and go in this transient life, so having a new network that loves and supports each other is always special and worth celebrating. And then of course I started my business again this year. I started it way-back in 2006 and had to close it down because I was too early. That was a crushing blow for me, but in hindsight, what a gift of lessons. Whether life is good or bad, the lessons are always the gift. Thankfully, it’s no longer too early for me to be doing what I’m doing, and the business is off to an amazing start – such a relief.  That has been great. I am chasing my dreams and starting to be able to live the life I want to live. I can tell you it is possible to do this if you never ever give up. And I mean never! So on many fronts it has been a great year. An amazing year. But the issues of the wider world have sucked me in and brought me down too often. It’s felt impossible to find joy in the melee that has been 2016. Donald Trump being elected was probably the biggest kick in the teeth for me, because how do we survive such an ignoramus in the White House? But we have to find the silver lining. We have to believe we can make it through whatever is thrown at us and emerge better as a global society. But we can’t be apathetic. We can’t give up. We have to fight. And that is probably the gift of this year. We’ve been given a massive wakeup call and now we must rise together and say enough! We want better and we’re going to get it – no matter which gormless fuckwit is elected into power anywhere in the world. Screw them. We want change, and even if the change we seem so intent on voting for is the sort that divides and destroys, we have the opportunity to take the power back into our own hands, away from dickless politicians, and create the future we want for all of humanity together. That’s what I’m