Fuck it Enough

My friend Anna Flinn came over recently, and we were in social media planning mode for her impending TEDx talk. We got to chatting and drinking wine (as gals do), and our conversation evolved to things we really wanted to do but hadn’t gotten around to yet. We’ve all got them, right? For me, it was launching a Without the Bollocks video conversation series, where I spend time with great pals from around the world, and we simply catch up on life, lessons learned on the journey, and then we talk about our deepest fears, all while drinking great red wine.   I have wanted to do this for the longest time, because I’ve often found that when people voice their fears and are willing to pull them apart, they realize these fears are controlling their lives, and yet in almost every case, completely irrelevant. Perhaps if we can just let these fears go, who knows what is possible? I’m not talking about phobia-type-fears. I’ve certainly got a couple of those. I’m talking about the shitty voice in our head, that tells us what we can and cannot achieve. I’ve also found that fears are usually linked to our early years, when others told us who we were and infused us with their beliefs. That’s the crux of where it goes astray, in my view. We get disconnected from our source. Anyhoo, Anna challenged me to do it and I said, OK, let’s go. So here we are. My first conversation ‘Without the Bollocks’ and what a lesson it’s been just doing a single video! I went out and bought lights straight after this. Doing video is definitely a new chapter and one that scares the shit out of me. But we’ve got to face it and do it anyway, right? Every conversation is going to be completely different, and I really just hope you enjoy it and maybe there might even be an idea that helps. You never know. If nothing else, hopefully it’ll give you a laugh. Anna thank you for challenging me to start, and please, shake off that scared little girl, you smart, sassy woman you. To all of my friends, I’m coming for you. There is no escape, but please read this blog – It’s Wine Time – before making your red wine purchase…. 😉. I can’t wait to introduce all of you to my world. My next video will be with my hubby Steve. It’s in editing now…. Although we won’t be editing anything out…. Big news in the next one. Talk to me about your fears anytime? I’d love to hear, especially if you identified them and got rid of them. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea   You can get awesome pop art images on Shutterstock. Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, YouTube here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

It’s 1995, I’m travelling around India, now in Calcutta, trying to decide if I go to China or Sri Lanka next. I left Australia with a one-way ticket – Melbourne, Kathmandu, New Delhi and London.   I’d originally planned to go to China after Nepal and India, but the Chinese embassy in Melbourne screwed up my visa application and gave me the wrong date. I had to get a new one but China wasn’t an easy country to deal with back in 1995! Not to forget, it might not be possible now I’d started my trip – it’s not like I could hand my passport over and hang around waiting for weeks, right? And it did take weeks back then… I kept trying to make China work, and one thing I considered is crossing the border into Pakistan and heading North over the mountains, where I’d cross into China. I would be able to get a visa at the border there – right? I was sure of it. Now remember, this was 1995 – a different time and it was a massively appealing adventure for me. Today, not so much. But then I saw an astrologist. You can’t avoid this in India. She said: I don’t know where you are planning to travel next, but there are mountains and if you go this way, many men will break into your room and rape you. Oh awesome. Do I ignore it? Believe it? Let it impact me? But then I’d be pretty stupid to knowingly (possibly) put myself into a situation where I might be gang raped, yes? I mean, that would make me a fuckwit. So back to the planning board and I head to my favourite breakfast place in Calcutta – great coffee and the bestbanana pancakes I’ve ever had in my life. I’m sure it’s still there. At this point, I’m considering China (via alternative routes) or Sri Lanka. I could fly to Hong Kong (still British at this point and the old AWESOME airport was still operational), where I’d get a visa and cross into China. Or I could fly to Sri Lanka, which was enormously desirable as an option and so much easier. Coffee delivered, newspaper opened “Tourists in Colombo will be Killed” – or something close to that. It wasn’t a good chapter for a lot of people in Sri Lanka at this time, but for me personally it was a FAARCCKKK…. But it made things easy. Off to China I was going and it was a whole other country back in 1995, less polluted too. It was my first miss on Sri Lanka. I’ve been planning to go back ever since – almost booked it twice – but somehow, it just hasn’t happened. Well that changes tomorrow. We’re off on a family holiday to Sri Lanka and I am completely excited. I’ll be sharing loads of pictures and experiences along the way, and thrilled to experience this for the first time together with my three boys. We do have fun adventuring together. If you have any tips, must-sees or shopping recommendations, let me know? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea Silhouettes of traditional fishermen photo courtesy of Shutterstock. Thank you for reading my ramblings. My brain and heart are a work in progress, always. I’d love a comment if it stirred any thoughts or feelings and of course, please feel free to share it with anyone you know who might be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do. If you want to connect, I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too. I share loads of stuff, not just my own xxxxx

I had dinner with a wonderful group of friends recently and asked everyone what was bad and what was good for them in 2016? Well, actually, it was phrased more like what fucken sucked and what was awesome, but both work right? Some answered with things closer to home, some answered spiritually, and some were out there facing down the issues of our world. It was fascinating. We are all so different and so unique, and what sucks for one is definitely not the same as what sucks for the next person. Neither is the joy of life the same.   After it was revealed that George Michael and Carrie Fisher died this week, I’m like yeah – fuck you 2016, you have totally sucked the big one!! George was my early teen years’ idol and I loved him; Carrie was a significant part of my younger years and a role model in living life, screwing up, only to get back up again. There’s definitely no question too many greats left us this year. But more than famous people dying off, there just seemed to be so much BAD going down in 2016. From the on-going refugee crisis, with thousands dying at sea, many sold into sexual slavery, and just too many suffering too much when we should be taking better care of each other; to the complete and utter shit storm of Syria and most recently, the atrocity of Aleppo; add to this all of the terrorist incidents across the year (including those carried out by white Christian people); Donald-fucking-Trump; Brexit; the rise of white supremacists; Daesh and their pathetic doctrine; the massacre and neglect of the Rohingya people and my dwindling love for Aung San Suu Kyi as she does nothing; extinctions of the world’s beautiful creatures with so many more teetering on the brink; the rise to power of climate change deniers; the on-going attitude of profit for profits sake; environmental destruction continuing unabated; the Great Barrier Reef bleaching event; sadistic rulers coming into power; the bollocks in Turkey, Russia, Greece, Italy and more; youth unemployment around the world; inequality off the charts; the continuing destruction of the forests that just happen to deliver the very air we breathe; the rise of fearfulness towards those different to ourselves; and on I could go. Not all of the sucky stuff for 2016 is new, of course, but the fact that we are still continuing as we always have concerns me greatly. The world is not dying, but our ability to live on it is. The world will recover whatever we throw at it, but we may not. Why don’t we get this? Why are we so fucken stupid? And mostly, why do we allow ourselves to get side-tracked by bollocks and hatred, when what we really need to do right now is focus on the biggest issues facing our world collectively?   So if I summed up one thing that sucked in 2016, it is the massive stupidity on show and that is definitely what is fucking me off the most. Even those who profit from this time won’t survive it. It’s just crazy shit. But then I think about the good stuff. My magnificent husband, who had a great year in his own right, and continues to show me incredible support for all I want to achieve. I am a lucky gal and adore him. Add to this the privilege of watching my beautiful boys growing into the men they will become – all heart and passion. Oh sure, they give me the shits every day, but I’m sure I give them the shits every day too. I’ve also loved this year because I’ve developed loads of new friendships and built a new community around my family in Singapore, which has been lovely. Friends come and go in this transient life, so having a new network that loves and supports each other is always special and worth celebrating. And then of course I started my business again this year. I started it way-back in 2006 and had to close it down because I was too early. That was a crushing blow for me, but in hindsight, what a gift of lessons. Whether life is good or bad, the lessons are always the gift. Thankfully, it’s no longer too early for me to be doing what I’m doing, and the business is off to an amazing start – such a relief.  That has been great. I am chasing my dreams and starting to be able to live the life I want to live. I can tell you it is possible to do this if you never ever give up. And I mean never! So on many fronts it has been a great year. An amazing year. But the issues of the wider world have sucked me in and brought me down too often. It’s felt impossible to find joy in the melee that has been 2016. Donald Trump being elected was probably the biggest kick in the teeth for me, because how do we survive such an ignoramus in the White House? But we have to find the silver lining. We have to believe we can make it through whatever is thrown at us and emerge better as a global society. But we can’t be apathetic. We can’t give up. We have to fight. And that is probably the gift of this year. We’ve been given a massive wakeup call and now we must rise together and say enough! We want better and we’re going to get it – no matter which gormless fuckwit is elected into power anywhere in the world. Screw them. We want change, and even if the change we seem so intent on voting for is the sort that divides and destroys, we have the opportunity to take the power back into our own hands, away from dickless politicians, and create the future we want for all of humanity together. That’s what I’m

How are you feeling? Excited? Hopeful? Like we’re about to enter the bestest ever chapter in the history of human beings? Yeah me either. It’s been a shitty bloody year all up. John Oliver’s video Fuck You 2016 certainly resonated. You can watch it here if you haven’t. But I recommend you play until the end. However, it’s important to find the silver lining no – post Trump, post Brexit, and post whatever other shit is coming next?? I mean we’re all in this together, no matter how currently divided the world seems to be, so there must be some good to come of it? Found it yet? No? Well for me it’s simple. We’ve had a BIG wakeup call and a BIG kick in the arse! And yes, I know many believe this is how the world works – it goes in cycles and we’ve just got to endure it again, go to war, make peace, and continue as before. But you know what, screw that, because we don’t have time. Please check this out – The 13 impossible crises that humanity now faces. Many won’t appreciate this article, many will disagree, but Trump is only one part of lots and lots of big problems we need to deal with. The environment being the very BIG one. The rapid escalation of extinctions another BIG one. Missed that story? Here it is – World on track to lose two-thirds of wild animals by 2020, major report warns. Future mass migration is coming. Let’s prepare for it. Top soil is disappearing and we’ve only got 60 harvests left, which could mean mass starvation in the not too distant future. That’s a bloody BIG one. Water wars are predicted. In fact, according to this article, almost half of humanity will face water scarcity by 2030. Heck, if India and Pakistan go nuclear – which will ultimately be over water – we’re all fucked anyway, because that’s always been seen as a when not an if. On top of this, we’re facing more far right politicians probably getting elected – awesome. White supremacists are on the rise. And as a white person, what the fuck is wrong with those people? My word! Supreme to who? Just fucking moronic that thinking. I could go on. But we’ve got to find that silver lining and it is simple. You, me, and anyone who cares about this world needs to get off our arses and we need to do our bit. We need to fight. We need to protest. We need to speak. We need to get involved wherever it makes sense for us to get involved. And we need to be part of the change we want. You don’t like what that big company is doing? You go online to the public stock exchange, download their annual report, find out every senior executive in this company (including all contact info), as well as who is investing in the project you’re protesting, and you tell the world who they are. Then you write to the CEOs contributing to the destruction of our planet or society, and all of the other senior executives who are listed on these very publicly available documents. You don’t get a response? You keep going and tell everyone who’s willing to listen to do it too. You do it privately and publicly, but you do it. Social media is here for this. Not the other bullshit we’re enduring right now. Which brings me onto the next point. We fight the fake news phenomenon This is big, really big. Please read this article How fake news online skewed the US election (thanks Simon). I almost can’t believe people did this for profit, but of course they did – fuckers! But we’ve got to stop this and it starts with the platforms sharing this shit (and profiting from it) like Google and Facebook, but it also comes back to us. We’ve got to commit to fact checking before sharing. If it feels a little too sensationalist, it’s probably worth an extra step and checking. Here’s a link to Snopes where you can find out if something is true. There are many other sites like this. It’s time to get the world back to appreciating fact, because if belief and faith in the conviction of global leaders is all we have…. well….   Another step you can take is to subscribe to the media you support and believe in. The one’s who still hold the ethics of journalism to heart. They are struggling to survive in this digital world and we need them more now than ever. Subscribe to the one you value. And yes, I know the media are part of the cycle of bollocks we’ve endured this year, but if we lose access to the truth – to true investigative journalism – well, then the time really will be dark. Media freedom is essential to our world and we’re losing it on our watch. Support the causes you believe in Individually you can do amazing stuff, but there are great organizations out there already doing big stuff. I like Avaaz, and organizations like Blue Dragon saving people who are being trafficked. There are many like this. Also make sure you’re not buying from companies who support slavery,  and don’t buy from companies who don’t have control of their complete supply chain – and I mean right down to that collapsing factory in Bangladesh. They are responsible. Make sure they know it. We vote with our feet and we have power. I donate to Kiva to help women succeed. Proof is an amazing organization fighting for human rights. Support them. And most importantly, I share information on the issues and causes I care about. I have a diverse, global, network. We don’t all agree with each other and that’s fine. But I share my views and maybe, just maybe, I can touch hearts and change minds. The more of us who believe we

Like most people I know, I couldn’t see any silver lining in the US election results, and was dropping f-bombs with the best of them. WTF indeed!!! I was shocked, deeply disappointed, pissed off, but mostly, scared for the future of our world. I’ve been vocally anti-Trump from the beginning, not only because his character offends me, but because whoever leads America, leads us all – one way or another. However, personally, to see the worst type of person elected as leader of the free world was so shocking – as a woman, as a human – I could hardly speak on election day. Just horrendous.   I definitely wanted to see Hillary win. Not because she is a woman, but because I believe she has the experience and insight to make the significant changes the American people are screaming for, which meant the country wouldn’t blow up in complete division. She’s smart that one. She knew what was necessary. Unfortunately, the electorate decided on blowing up first, and sorting it out later by voting in Trump. Alas we’ll never have the chance to see if she could achieve what I, and many others, truly believed she was capable of. Instead, the vote for change, which resulted is President-Elect Trump, will be so dramatic, it’s effects will ricochet around the world for years to come, and that is what I believe horrifies so many. Let me be very clear. I know the majority of Trump voters are not stupid or racists, misogynists or war-mongers. But a percentage are and that’s what scares me. Unleashing the worst of us and giving them a platform to spew their hatred and fear, can only go one way – down. But those of us being called liberals are fearful, and we’re fearful of the inevitable direction this world is now headed in, because we can’t escape what happens next. We’re all in this together. History playing out So can I ask everyone to please read and share this article – please? Whoever you support, just read it – History Tells Us What Will Happen Next With Brexit And Trump. I’ve been an historian all my life, and this is what I’ve been fearful of for nearly two years. The signs are all pointing in this direction, and they were long before Trump put his hat in the ring. This election just felt like the tipping point. I obviously can’t speak for my fellow liberals. That would be arrogant. But I do believe this is the undercurrent we are all feeling. This is not about Trump. It’s a global movement towards the inevitability of World War Three, and if you read the article, it seems there is no escaping it. When the world hits this point historically, this is the only direction we go. Millions dead. Nations turned upside down. War, hunger, destruction…. And in the end, we’ll draw up peace treaties, still be living next door to the people we hate today, but we’ll move on and be better off as a species. But I don’t buy the inevitability argument. We’re smarter and more connected than we have ever been, so perhaps we can change the tide of history? At least we can try or be called nutters for giving it a go. I certainly want to try for my little guys. You? So what we gunna do? I’m an optimist. I love life. I love people. I expect the best of everyone I meet. I have a deep faith in our ability to rise up as a global community to tackle the real challenges that lay ahead of us. I don’t buy into hate. I don’t buy into fear. I don’t buy into the inevitability of the human cycle that we always have to end up in war and despair before we can move forward. Fuck it. I really believe we can evolve. And then I remembered this video, which I watched before the election…      Did you watch it? Oh please do. It’s awesome, regardless of your political leanings. I know I’d adore that woman. I love people like that. They make the world a better place and energize the world around them just by being in the room. And so I’ve decided I want to be that person, because I am that person. I want to walk into a physical or digital room and say: Are you fired up? Ready to go? Fired up? Ready to go? And when I see womenobjectified, looked past, marginalised, controlled, put down, ignored, told what she can do with her body, raped, abused,  etc, etc, etc… I’m going to get fired up and take whatever action I can take to make a difference. And when I see environmental destruction and disasters that impact all of us and the future of our world (no matter where it happens), I’m going to get fired up and speak to the governments, the corporations, the people, and anyone else who will listen to ensure we change. Because we don’t have time for this shit. If nothing changes we’re all fucked. Every one of us. And when I see the refugees, the abandoned children, the poor and the destitute left to freeze in European winters because we’re too scared (or politically immobilized) to do our duty and take care of our fellow man, I’m going to get fired up and do what I can to change it. Because refugees are going to increase (please believe this), not just with war, but as a side effect of environmental catastrophes too. This is not going to be a thing of the past! Refugees will become more numerous and the obligation to do more will increase. We’ve got to get ready, get prepared, get human and we’ve got to start solving this challenge. It’s not going away. And when the war mongersstart screaming and rattling their drums, I’m going to scream back – NO!! We can be diplomatic. We can talk.

If you’re hoping I’m going to criticize Hillary Clinton, you may as well stop reading now. I couldn’t admire a woman more. So I suggest moving on if you don’t want a positive perspective. Why could I never be like her? I can hardly compare myself, but a few years ago, I was working for a company and had to run a couple of big events. I took a completely different approach to what had been done before, and for the first one, I had colleagues get so shitty with me, they didn’t talk to me for weeks afterwards. It was very upsetting, especially as I was just asking people to step up and deliver the best possible content for the audience.   After the first one, I wanted to quit. It got ugly and I got confused. Asking for the best of everyone shouldn’t have attracted such ugliness, but it did. However, the feedback from the first one demonstrated that I was on the right path, and so a few months later, I did the second one – and it was much bigger and considerably more high profile. The feedback spoke again. “Best ever” and “thank you so much for giving us such a valuable experience.” I’ve always believed that the worst thing I could ever do is waste people’s time. Knowing I didn’t means a lot to me. A few months after both were over, I was on holiday with the family, trying to switch off from work. I’m not very good at that, but every night I had nightmares about doing this event again the next year and the dreams were brutal. More than that, the stress I put myself through with both events had physical ramifications. I ground my teeth so much in the night, I cracked three of my back molars, resulting in two root canals and one tooth extraction. It made me wonder, why the hell would I put myself through that again? Yeah I helped to create change. I steered the ship in a new direction. I built my credibility. I delivered something that was valued and I changed perceptions. But is that what life is about? Well yes, but it has to be for something you really believe in too right? Not just work, which is ultimately about making other people richer – which is fine too, as I have no issue with people making money. I’m definitely a fighter, always have been, but this experience showed me how ugly being a fighter can be. It also made me think about what is worth fighting for – because it creates distance from the family too. It has to. If I’m going to spend less time with my boys, lose teeth and face massive dentist bills, wouldn’t I prefer to do it on something more meaningful? Or is it just who I am? What I’m made of? I still think about that experience often, and while it will never take the fight out of me, it’s definitely made me wiser, because I learnt the biggest lesson of them all – people really do not like change, despite all the talk about being dynamic and agile. I love change. Always have and always will. I don’t understand fear of change, because change makes the world a better place, and right now, our world is changing at its fastest pace in all of human history. Bring it on I say. So then I look to Hillary Clinton. For 30 years this woman has been a fighter and right now, she’s fighting for the right to rule her country. And yet at every single step of the way she has been ripped apart. She is the one who has copped the flack for Bill’s philandering, as well as Monica Lewisnky of course. That is bloody shameful. Women are responsible for a man not being able to keep his cock in his pants? That’s a familiar discourse, yes? Every speech she comes out most truthful and Trump is opposite in the extreme, and yet she is the one who isn’t trusted? Her emails, Benghazi, she’s manipulative, she’s on death’s door, her dodgy philanthropy, and on it goes. She didn’t get a life-sized painting of herself done, and then paid for it through her charity! I mean, who gets a life-sized painting done of themselves these days anyway? I don’t get why anyone thinks Trump is a better option. I just don’t. You want something different – I get that. You’ve had enough of typical politics. I get that too. This next Presidential cycle has to be about changing the system, but you can’t do it with Trump at the helm. He is nothing but an ugly-hearted, narcissistic, lying, sensationalist, moron. And if you think your lot in life is bad now – it’s going to get a whole lot worse if he gets in. Basically the whole world will be fucked. Trust me. That’s the only outcome if he wins in November. Getting back to Hillary. I sit here and think bloody hell woman. Is it worth it? Do you love America and its promise so much you’ll endure all of that vitriol? Do you really want to lead a country that is so judgmental of you personally? Do you think you can ever be successful with that attitude constantly swirling around you? Man, you’re tough, so bloody tough! I would’ve stepped out long ago. I would’ve said screw you to every asshole who ever said a bad word about me. I would’ve said no way, nothing is worth this shit. But you never have. You’re standing strong. You’re fighting. You believe this is important. You don’t want to win for yourself. You want to win because you know you’ve got what it takes for this time in our world’s history. And I reckon you do too. I know we’ll look back on your presidency and say it was the best ever. Many don’t agree with