If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know I love my little lads with every fibre of my being, but you’ll also know they turn me into a screaming harpy on a regular basis, and that we’ve had some additional challenges on the parental ride. I always recognise that when my patience is lacking with them, MOST of the time, it actually has nothing to do with how they are behaving or why they’re being turds, and instead everything to do with how I’m feeling about my life – like I said, most of the time! I also think that if I’m not happy, they pick up on the vibe and are a little bit more difficult as well. So essentially, it’s all my fault. To try and ensure I’m a peaceful, loving and attentive Mum I came up with a mantra – patience and love. I repeat it throughout the day, but when I can feel a yell coming on, I close my eyes, repeat it to myself, and then I deal with whatever chaotic situation I am faced with in a loving, quiet voice. That’s the goal anyway. They’re just kids and we all know kids are going to drive us nuts as they push and test us, all the while working out who they are. But I’m the adult and working out a way to deal with it to ensure we’re all happy is what drives me. The reality is, yelling gets me nowhere with my boys, but when I approach situations in a calm and easy manner – shit they respond better, usually doing what they’re told the first time. It’s like a miracle every time.
My mantra really works for me and while it’s easy to forget it in the heat of the moment, I find that when I do remember it – as I am this month as it’s part of my FIE focus for January – it ensures a much calmer and happier household. The household vibe is definitely calmer with Steve and I focused on making sure it is so. The reality is we just want a happy home – that’s it, our only goal.
So can anyone else recommend something they do or have any advice that gets them great results with their kids and makes them happier to boot?
Yours, without the bollocks
Andrea
