September 2014

Yesterday was a pretty miserable day at our place. Steve and I moved the boys into separate bedrooms and the physical-ness of moving heavy pieces of furniture left my back close to spasm. It’s not a lot of fun when it spasms. However, Steve was even more miserable because he was NOT into the idea at all, but I wouldn’t let it go and in the end, he gave up the fight. His “office” is now in an alcove off the living room, and as he works from home when he’s not travelling, he ain’t a happy camper. Jax finally carked it yesterday after a couple of weeks of 5am starts… BUT something had to change. We were all miserable. For months and months now, the boys have been waking up around 5-6am every day, causing havoc in the home (especially with the cats) while it’s still pitch black outside. Every morning we’d wake up frustrated, angry, and pretty unhappy, because not only was it too early for us, we knew exactly what each day would bring – two miserable, emotional boys who hadn’t had enough bloody sleep. When you look at your child’s face and all you see are HUGE black rings under their eyes, it doesn’t feel good. When you’re exhausted from working long hours and then have to deal with tired, emotional boys, it is not easy to count to three or find the love and patience required to get through a day. When you wake up and find your kids gone, hunting around the condo for the cats or climbing to the highest point they can find (unsupervised), that’s not a great start to the day either. When you wake up and smell burning (see previous blog), see the detritus of a fridge raid, or whatever other little surprise they left for us, it’s just not the way to start a contented day. So when nothing is working change everything right? Well that was my idea, because the bottom line is, we all need to get more sleep. We’re all worn out and wrung out. We’ve all had enough and it’s not working for any of us. We just can’t be cool, calm and collected parents when we ain’t rested. If I think back to the last 12 months, there’s been too much emotional tension in the house. Naturally, all blame cannot be placed at the feet of our children. They’re just being kids and they’ll get through it – resist persist. However for us to thrive in the midst of family and work life, we need to get enough sleep. We also need to feel relaxed and at ease when we go to bed. That’s been missing. We need to get it back. Steve woke up with the kids this morning. The first report in indicates Lex went into Jax’s room just before 7am and played the drums until he woke up. A success? Well it wasn’t between 5-6am – so a tick. He did, however, go into Jax’s room on the threat of death, so that also means a cross. It’ll take time for them to adjust and get used to not being with each other all the time I suppose. I just hope this works, otherwise I’ll have an extremely grumpy husband, resenting me for losing his office. Perhaps ‘staying in the room reward charts’ are the way to go? Any suggestions? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea 

So it was Jax’s turn to have something removed from his ear this week, after deciding it would be a terrific idea to insert Blu Tack (which, incidentally, he picked off the sole of his shoe) inside this orifice. Why it was a good idea in his mind is completely beyond me, but apparently, not an unusual thing for boys (in particular) to do. To be completely transparent, he actually did it about a week ago, but because it was soft and not causing any pain, we weren’t in a rush to get medical assistance, hoping olive oil would do the trick. It didn’t. Jax’s first unsuccessful attempt at extraction We know this lack of rush is directly attributable to our recent experience with Lex. About six months ago, he decided to put a plastic pearl in his ear and that little exercise cost us well over $4,000. At that time, the doctor managed to get Steve into such a panic, he felt there was no choice but to rush ahead with surgery. Definitely a lesson learned and definitely a case of “stupid tax” – something not uncommon in this part of the world. Naturally, anytime your child does something like this and you share it with those around you, people regale you with their stories. I always remember my older brother, Paul, being inclined towards insertion, with a huge marble removed from his nose. My younger brother Mark was less focused on insertion into his orifices, but always managed to do things that caused injuries and sores on his face. There’s barely a school photo without a facial injury. Our friends in Sydney – The Boltons – had a situation where one of their daughters snorted a piece of sponge into her sinus cavity. It was the smell that gave it away, as it eventually started to rot – UGH! But how’s this? One of Steve’s colleagues in the US empathized with our situation, and then told him her son once had 19 tiny pebbles removed from his ear. NINETEEN??? Every bloke I speak with seems to have an orifice story of some description. Naturally, you wonder why? Why is there such a strong compulsion to explore their bodies in this way? Why does it feel like a good idea? What does that sensation feel like? I can’t come to terms with the why, but I do appreciate the need to explore one’s body when young, and of course, boys grow into men and it’s all about sticking things into things, so I can only draw a very lose conclusion that it’s got something to do with that. Or maybe not. Who knows? The good news is this adventure only cost us a touch shy of $500, no surgery was required, all up the experience wasn’t too harrowing, and Jax now has a Blu Tack-free ear. In some ways I wish the experience was just a little bit more uncomfortable, because it might actually turn him off doing it again? We definitely work hard to ensure the boys don’t have to suffer unnecessarily in medical situations if we have options, because we don’t want them terrified for the rest of their lives. But maybe we’re not really doing them a favor? If it’s all too nice and lovely an experience, the lessons may not be learned? Anyone else have stories of children sticking stuff into ears and noses you’d like to share? And with that, bloody kids, why the hell did we have them again? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

One always admires the flower arrangements in Asia I’m in Ubud, Bali for a few days. I’m here for TEDx Ubud, which is on tomorrow and my great mate Duncan McKee is one of the speakers. It’s my first live TED talk, so definitely super excited, but even more excited because I’m here to support Duncs. I’m also appreciating this time because, I get to have a little bit of silence – away from the constant noise of my days. I need silence. I don’t get a lot of it to be honest, and what this means is I struggle for clarity if I’m always surrounded by “noise.” I guess I’m lucky I’m not afraid of my own head. Anyhoo, I’ve just returned from a three hour spa session. Steve booked it, because he really wants me to have an amazing and relaxing time while I’m here. He’s a sweetheart my husband, but he also knows that I wouldn’t have booked it myself. No matter how much I needed it. My little spa hut Spa-ing has never been my thing. In fact, to be honest, for most of my life, I have absolutely detested going to spas. While everyone else comes out chilled and happy, it’s always made me feel anxious and uptight. I can’t explain it, it doesn’t make any sense, but it has always been that way. So I’ve tended to step away from the spa experiences. It’s started to change in the last couple of years though, mainly because I’ve had times when I’ve desperately needed a massage. My muscles can get so tight they go into spasm, and when this happens it’s excruciatingly painful and capable of knocking me out for a couple of days. I had one of those spasms in the middle of my back just a couple of weeks ago – it’s not pleasant. Today’s spa was rather interesting. This little control freak had no idea what Steve had booked. Well it turns out he booked the works. It started with a massage – boy a massage brings out the weariness in your lower back doesn’t it? – and before I knew it, I was covered in a fruit scrub, and then lathered in yogurt. Thank god they didn’t do the seaweed wrap – I don’t like that – too sweaty in the tropics! Next up was a facial, flower bath and finally a mani pedi. A bath of flowers The question is – did I enjoy it? Well yes, I think so. I know I didn’t completely relax, and that’s mainly because the door was always open – with people having a look-see right outside the door. But equally, at one point, a man came in to do my pedi. I’ve never had a man do that before, have you? But my skin is now soft and supple, the weariness gone from my muscles, my nails are red – naturally – and tomorrow I’m ready to be wowed by the creative and inspiring speakers scheduled for TEDx Ubud. Will let you know how that goes. In the meantime, thank you Steve for being such a sweet husband. I’m a lucky girl. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea