February 24, 2013

I was sitting down with Steve the other night, after lots of running around that included: trying to move into a new computer; a new phone; and another phone; and then another phone; working out how to pack my bag for work; arranging clothes and shoes; sorting out makeup and jewelry to ensure time efficiency; etc; etc; etc and I stopped and said: Steve, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with change right now…. Dealing with massive amounts of change is nothing new for me – it’s something I’ve done a lot in my life, but going through it on such an intense scale this last week – with a bit more life wisdom behind me – has been interesting. Many years ago, a friend showed me a list of the top 20 most stressful things you can face in your life, and apparently, if you were going through three or more at the same time, there was a high chance you’d be experiencing significant levels of stress. Back then, I remember looking at this list and thinking – I am doing all 20, no wonder I feel a tad out of control. For some reason, I’m still doing it. I regularly throw myself into change, somehow getting through it, and then I rest and recuperate before doing it all over again. Heck I’ve moved countries seven times for god’s sake! It’s definitely been a lesson for me in recent years, one where I’m finally looking at myself to understand why. Is it because I’m searching for something? Is it because I haven’t found my path? Is it because I don’t feel connected anywhere? Or is it because I’m just one of those people that needs lots of diversity because that’s what makes life exciting? I honestly don’t know the answer – although I’m asking the question now – but I may never know, and have decided instead, it’s finally time to enjoy life for a while and make a few easier decisions too. To extrapolate on the above triple phone comment – because it provides a small example of stresses and strains faced this last week – here’s my week’s experience. As many know, phones are much more important these days, because they do a lot more stuff, and I started my new job sporting a two-year old Blackberry phone. Due an upgrade, it wasn’t a problem when the subtle suggestion came through to change my phone when loaned a Nokia. However, Steve decided to surprise me with my dream phone – a Samsung Galaxy Note II – but when I turned up for work on Monday, I was told, equally subtly, that perhaps I should reconsider having an Android phone – especially as I am in a public facing role? OK, message taken, and Steve went through the pain of convincing SingTel to exchange my phone for the Nokia Lumia 920. Yep I’d moved in to and out of four phones!! The good news is, even though I’d never considered the Nokia (and I’m not being biased here) it’s absolutely brilliant. There are some terrific features, but one in particular stands out – Kids Corner. Kid’s Corner is sensational and means the boys can’t go into my phone as it’s a separate place on the phone – it’ll make sense if you look at one. I recently found Lex almost subscribing to a big titties Web service, so this has met a timely need for me. I’m still “moving” into the phone, and once I get used to it and work out all of its quirky features, I know I’ll be happy with it. But that’s just one element in my life, and while a phone change in its own right requires a real time investment, there’s lots more going on at the same time. For example: New job, 100s of new people, new names, and new responsibilities to learn, thousands of emails to absorb, administrative procedures to understand, etc, etc, etc… New computer, updated operating system, new filing system, online communities to get involved in, etc, etc, etc… A complete new daily routine, including being ripped out of dreams about Matthew MacConaughey by an aggressive alarm clock – sigh Gone are the comfy clothes and flip flops, and in is corporate wear and all of the accessories required – which requires early morning thinking The toughest change this last week has been breaking in four pairs of new shoes at the same time – everyday my feet are in agony Mix all of this in with a desire to change my diet and exercise routine, as well as eradicating bad thought habits and well… It’s intense but I’ll get there. I know a lot of people facing change right now, so thought it might be interesting to share the experience as it is happening. If I could describe the feelings it’s confusion, anxiety, overwhelmed, tiredness, fogginess, etc… but it’s not all bad, because there’s excitement, enthusiasm, and a renewed zest for life too. So what can I do about the current intensity? Take one bloody step at a time… Can anyone else relate? Or anyone else who constantly seeks change? And if so, do you know why you do it? I mean, it’s definitely not the easy path to take… Yours, without the bollocks Andrea