December 22, 2011

Perhaps a Global Boycott of ‘Target’ is in Order? A friend from my Boston days, Erica, posted a link today about a “Nurse-In” scheduled to take place at all US Target stores nationwide on December the 28th. This follows a Texan Mom, MichelleHickman, reporting that she was bullied by Target employees for breastfeeding her child in-store while Christmas shopping. I know that this sort of stuff creates all sorts of reactions – many not supporting the mother in question – but I think this is worth exploring a little deeper. The article linked to a recent English boob-in and it also reminds me of another group of women staging a protest in Singapore a few years ago. Unfortunately I can’t find any coverage, but this happened because a Caucasian woman was kicked out of a cafe for breastfeeding. The next day, the cafe was mobbed by breastfeeding mothers and it got a lot of attention. The cafe naturally changed its policy. We’re almost in the year 2012 and this is still an issue? I mean come on. Is there anything more natural in the world than breastfeeding your baby? Look at the English article – people complained because they found it a disturbing sight while eating! And it’s not just men, women complained too. But the Target story really got to me for two reasons – the demographic most likely to shop at Target is lower-income earning women. They will shop not only for themselves, but for their entire family. Secondly, it is this group that is probably most at risk of being isolated in their early parenting years, and as a Mother who spent a lot of time in isolation for various reasons, this is probably the thing that concerns me the most. Mothers need to be able to get out in the world, so they’re not sitting at home, isolated and driving themselves crazy. Attitudes like this DO NOT help. So I have an issue with Target in this instance, but also any other organisation that claims to market itself to women – because lactating mothers are definitely part of this demographic and they need to be factored into the overall experience.  This is not the first time Target has been accused of “breast-causes-distress” behavior apparently – it happened in 2006, when a woman was shooed from the fitting rooms for breastfeeding. Target’s public response?   “Target has a long-standing practice that supports breastfeeding in our stores. We apologize for any inconvenience the guest experienced and will take this opportunity to reaffirm this commitment with our team members,” company representative Kristi Arndt said. “For guests in our stores, we support the use of fitting rooms for women who wish to breastfeed their babies, even if others are waiting to use the fitting rooms. In addition, guests who choose to breastfeed discreetly in more public areas of the store are welcome to do so without being made to feel uncomfortable.” Of course the discussion always moves on to other recommendations where women can breastfeed. I’ve heard people suggest women should go to their cars or public toilets to breastfeed. Now the car is do-able if you have one child – perhaps – and if it’s not -40 degrees outside and if you’re not in a behemoth shopping centre where it is going to take you 20 minutes at least to get to your car. Anyone with a screaming, hungry baby knows how long 20 minutes feels like. BUT public toilets? I was a discrete feeder and regularly found myself in public toilets feeding my boys. Let me tell you, Singapore is a hot and humid place, so this is NOT a pleasant thing to do. But it was my choice. The challenge with public toilets is most are filthy, stinking cesspools you want to escape as quickly as possible. Also if you are feeding a child in a toilet for at least 30 minutes – which is about right for most – someone is going to take a dump, and that is not a pretty experience for anyone. So, no, public toilets are not a great solution for the average woman who does not feel the need to hide away to feed her baby. Living in Asia the challenges of breastfeeding are quite different. As a general rule, most women do not feed their children for very long – it’s just one of those things. Even though I decided long before my boys were born that I would never, ever feed in public, I certainly would not do it in Asia. My gargantuan tits would have caused a stampede, more out of curiosity than anything, so hiding away was always my preference. Before I gave birth, I went to all of the shopping centres I expected to frequent with my babies and checked out their feeding facilities. Those who had great facilities got my custom. Those who didn’t still haven’t seen me back. However, as a general rule, Singapore has excellent feeding facilities and parent’s rooms – which was a bonus for shy me. I am appalled that Target does not have facilities for feeding mothers, and Target, it’s time to change. It’s simple. Make sure all of your stores world-wide have comfortable feeding rooms, with comfortable chairs and entertainment for older kids and do it now. Other stores targeting women and families should take note. Please also make sure these rooms are nowhere near the stink of public toilets and make sure they are cleaned often. There is nothing worse than being in a filthy room with your precious little baby.  Also put proper nappy disposal bins in the rooms – the stench of another baby’s boggy nappy has made me gag on several occasions. Secondly train your staff to be more sensitive and aware. There is no point issuing a statement that you support breastfeeding anywhere in your store if your staff is unaware of, or untrained in, this policy. There is nothing worse than dealing

 Book cover, as it appeared on allenandunwin.com Nick Vujicic was born with no arms or legs. In fact, he has two feet, but only one of them is functional – the foot he calls his “Chicken Drumstick.” This foot, and a very strong neck, have allowed Nick to become almost completely independent – something he has been determined to be from a young age. You’ve probably seen one of his YouTube videos at some point? Amazing guy, really really amazing. Nick has written a book – “Life Without Limits” – and I have to say, I’ve picked this book up, put it down and picked it up again too many times to count. Why? Because the description on the back of the book talks about his faith in God as the central pillar of his life. I do not have any issue with anyone believing in God or following whatever faith they choose, but rarely do I enjoy reading stuff by people who hand it all over to God. Nick is a very strong believer and his faith is definitely central to all that he does – and with or without God, what he does is incredibly inspiring and amazing. So I decided to get over my initial hesitations – because all perspectives are welcome in my life after all – and I’m glad I did. Living in a world where people fear imperfection, I still find it hard to imagine how his life has truly been. Just the story of his birth and his parent’s reaction to it was heartbreaking. But one thing for sure is that he has the most amazing attitude of any human being I’ve ever known. While he’s sure to have his bad days, as a general rule, he is one hell of a happy dude and throughout the book, he subtly challenges everyone to live a better, happier life, because if he has been able to find a path to happiness, with all of the limitations his body has thrown at him, then we can all do it. He looks at his lack of appendages as a gift to do God’s work, and I think that’s awesome. I was blown away by his experiences, how he’s overcome challenges, his determination, his attitude and so much more. Fantastic bloke, really fantastic, and while I don’t buy into his religious message, the book is so much more than that. If you know of anyone who needs a good kick in the arse, this book will certainly do it – and if they don’t read, he does videos.  Seriously, when you read about his limitations and how he’s overcome them with his attitude, there really can’t be too many people out there with an excuse to stay miserable for the long term. I mean he swims, loves fishing, plays golf, has surfed with the best surfers in the world and so much more. But his story of how he has also been humbled by people he has met is touching too – people with absolutely nothing have shown him great compassion. I really liked his chapter on being ridiculous – something he enjoys. And he’s so right, not enough adults are ridiculous these days and being ridiculous does feel good. He’s reminded me of that. Nick challenges everyone to be happy and to live life to the full because it’s the only one we’ve got, so why not? That’s a good challenge and he’s left me positively optimistic. Good on him. If you want to know more about Nick and his organisation, it’s Life Without Limbs. A great Christmas present if you’re out of ideas. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea