Noemi is a very sweet, gentle and lovely lady, however our boys are rambunctious, adventurous and determined, so it’s not an ideal mix we’ve discovered. The boys don’t need someone strict (that’s our job,) they need someone who is firm enough to show them they won’t take any nonsense and playful enough to distract them away from dangerous situations.

We know our boys – they’re full on. The amount of times complete strangers have run across parks to “rescue” Lex – he’s the climber – has been mind-boggling. Every time these strangers get involved we’ve been standing right there (in our catching position,) so it’s been a bit perplexing. We’ll say to them, ‘it’s OK, it’s just what he does.’ But you can see their hair turning grey at the sight of a three year old scaling such heights. Mates have been very anxious around Lex too, even after we’ve explained what he’s like. I suppose we’re just used to it and don’t always appreciate what a spin-out it can be.

Lex’s climbing ambitions started at 10 months old and it hasn’t stopped. If there is something to climb, anything, he climbs it, but he’s also very good at it. He has incredible balance and technique, has rarely fallen, and we figure we’ve got to let him do what he needs to do to explore the world. Hey, he freaks us out too and we both have nightmares regularly, but at least we know his limitations and have always adopted a policy of being in a position to catch him if he falls. It’s happened once. But Noemi just couldn’t cope with Lex’s climbing – it’s completely freaked her out and she was terrified something terrible would happen while he was in her care – fair enough.

Jax, on the other hand, has turned into the most confident, determined and strong-willed three year old on the planet, and he wants to make a very firm mark on the world. He talks to everyone, argues with everyone, has his way of doing things and screw you if you suggest another way, and he is also going through a not-listening-unless-you-yell phase. It can be pretty tedious with him right now, as he has a tendency to wander off to do as he wants, screw the consequences, but he’s growing up, and we hope things will calm down as he discovers we respect who he is and who he wants to be. PLEASE don’t take a long time for this stage to be over Jax, you’re sending us nuts!

But Jax is a very cool dude. He’s the cautious one (thank the lord we got one!) but he’s also extremely charming, very funny and extremely sensual – he’s a cack, truly. We have absolutely no concerns for him when his time comes to go out into the world. He’s certainly going to get laid a lot.

Our boys are amazing. They’re not easy for sure, but they are really wonderful – hey they’re my sons so of course I’m going to say that. Our goal with our kids has always been for them to be happy, confident and not frightened to take life by the balls… well I can say they are already there, and while it’s not easy now, it’s going to serve them well in life.

In the meantime, we need help, but it’s got to be a special lady. Vick, our last helper, could’ve coped. She was playful, firm, took no nonsense and the boys loved being with her. I don’t know if we’ll be able to find another Vick, and we know we shouldn’t be looking for one, but the person who comes into our lives definitely has to have some pretty unique qualities and a lot of strength. Everything else is easy, but the boys, well that’s work right now, and I know because I’ve done it pretty-much alone for the last two years.

Wish us luck as we start the process again and if anyone is looking for a really wonderful maid, I highly recommend Noemi – just not to people who have boys like ours! Maybe we need two maids…

Yours, without the bollocks
Andrea