I’m regularly seen out and about in Singapore with my two lads, taking them to the various parks and playgrounds across the island. As I hang around – sweltering in the heat while watching my little loves have fun – I spend a lot of time pondering. A recent ponder is our kids could teach us a great lesson if only we were all open to learning it – and that is a lesson of acceptance. When I take the boys to a playground, they are more often than not, the only Caucasian (or white) kids there. For the first few minutes, Lex and Jax hang out together, relying on each other while they scope out the new environment. However they quickly branch out, finding partners in crime that are into their “style” of play, and off they go with their new pals to enjoy themselves. As a general rule, Lex goes for the extreme sports fans, while Jax is more focused on digging and intellectualising about stuff with his new friends.
When they identify suitable playmates, they don’t say you’re a boy or a girl and therefore this is how we should play, because sex doesn’t matter. Neither do they look at kids and say you’re Malay or Chinese or Indian or African or Bangladeshi or Pilipino or a combination of all of these, because they don’t see anything other than another human being. And they never say you’re Muslim or Atheist or Buddhist or Hindu or Christian or Taoist or whatever, because who cares, we’re here to play.
My boy’s decision making parameters are very clear – in the affirmative it’s a case of you’re my kind of kid, let’s go. Or conversely, when they identify that someone is not their kind of kid, they don’t get all hot and bothered about it. They recognise it for what it is – a lack of synergy between two people – and promptly just ignore each other.
I don’t know when awareness of differences kicks in – I’m presuming we haven’t got too much longer with our boys – but one of the main reasons I love living in Singapore is they are around people from all over the world ALL of the time – and seriously, every type of person is here. Singapore is awesome for that and also the main reason Steve and I love it. With my lads I am very hopeful this exposure will make the physical differences between people less important to them. I don’t know for certain if it will, but I am certainly very hopeful that it will help a lot. We shall see. All I know for sure is they’re definitely off to a great start with best pals and gals from all around this fine world, and I sincerely hope they can be a new kind of person in the world – a person that doesn’t see skin differences first, because for them, it’s all about heart.
Us adults could learn a lot from that.
One day my boys may ask me how I decide who I like and why? I will gladly tell them that MY decision making parameter has always been this – I don’t care where you’re from or how much money you do or do not have, are you a nice person or are you an arsehole? That’s all there is to it really.
I just hope my boys stay true to the path they’re on now, because that would be awesome and I’d be a very proud Mumma. Then again, I don’t plan on giving them too much choice in the matter.
Yours, without the bollocks
Andrea
2 thoughts on “A Thing or Two Kids Could Teach Us”
What a super cool piece. Thanks, A.
I used to get such a kick out of that in Sing, as much for myself as anyone. I'd think back on a get together and the fact that one person was Mexican and one was Italian, there were a few Aussies (there always are!), as well as Brits, Japanese and great mixes of Fiji/Chinese, etc. It's never the easiest of parties, but it's those that you are so proud to be part of. Fin's best friend at pre-school was Japanese and he didn't speak much English. I said to him, "Do you and Go speak to each other?" Fin shrugged and said, "We say 'ohayou'. If only I could just build blocks and do puzzles with other adults I meet today. In the absence of that, I will strive for us all to stay groovy and as we have been.
Hey Franki, thanks for commenting babe and your comment about Fin and Go communicating with ohayou made me smile. You're right, sometimes it's really not easy, but it's always lovely. Megan had her b'day party last weekend and we walked in – having been away from the school for a couple of months – and it was so lovely to see everyone from so many different places,and everyone was really warm – Lex got the biggest welcome. It really is the biggest pleasure in my life – the people I get to meet. Hope you guys are going really great in Aus, all settled and happy xxxxxxxx ps now you'll never get away from the Aussies xxx