October 2016

It’s a fascinating time to be alive, but equally, it’s an exhausting time – especially this year. The hatred and division coming up in the world concerns me on such a deep level and I often feel exhausted by it. It leaves me without hope for the future of our planet. Hatred and division have existed throughout human history, and while we move forward as a species after-the-factwhen it hits boiling point – usually becoming better and more cohesive societies – the fact that we are now living through a time likes this makes me despondent, mainly for our kids. But women and respect for women has been a big part of the discussion in recent times, not just because we have the first female running for US President, but because her opponent is a complete and utter dirt bag. #DonaldTrumpReallyisanAsshole. Donald’s recent sexual harassment video has obviously been part of the narrative in recent weeks, however the thing that’s fascinated me more, is not the women coming out (brave ladies, 12thtoday) suggesting his comments were not just talk, but the men telling us what is and what is not sexual harassment. Of course, Donald claimed it was just “locker room talk,” and even if it was just talk, it’s not locker room talk – as many men who’ve actually spent time in a locker room have attested to. However, it is the action of grabbing a woman’s pussy that has been put to question. According to some men (and alarmingly, some women), did you know that having your “pussy grabbed” by an entitled man isn’t, in fact, sexual harassment?   I had my pussy grabbed once. It was back in 1992 when I was I’m wandering through Cairo’s famous archaeology museum, checking out the wonders of the ancient world. It was brilliant and I was enraptured. Then, out of the blue, this young man walks up and grabs me right on the snatch. Now I’d been in Egypt and the Middle East for a while by this point, where EVERY SINGLE DAY men worked very hard to grab my tits and arse, but this was the first time one went straight for the vag. What happened next? A feeling of overwhelming revulsion went through my entire body. It was the most violated I had ever felt in my life (I have not been raped, attempted but never succeeded) and a rage exploded that surprised even me. I’ve never been angrier and I punched this guy so hard in the chest, he was literally lifted off his feet and smacked into the wall a couple of feet behind him. I was in the army then. I was young. I was strong. And I was really really fucking angry. I lunged for him then and he got up and ran away so fast, with a look of unbelievable fear in his eyes, that I couldn’t catch up to keep going. Because I was definitely going to keep going. Fucker!! But this reaction surprised me. Me? A pacifist. Someone who could never imagine what it would take to hit anyone and yet, there I was. So I screamed after him: “yeah you run you fucken coward. You run away pathetic fucking man.” The other guests in the museum edged away from me rather quickly after that. I looked like a mad bitch for sure. Definitely a nasty woman! I was shaking with anger for ages afterwards. No one had ever done that to me before and I cannot describe exactlyhow it made me feel. One thing I do know is that it was sexual assault. That is not a part of the body anyone has the right to grab without permission. I had lots of other experiences travelling alone as a young, single female back then. Another guy tried to rape me in a tomb – I kicked the shit out of him. And another chased me through a cemetery with his dick in his hand. Ugly things penises. Nether succeeded. But it was the twat grab that had the biggest impact. Such a violation! I haven’t been raped – as I said – but if being grabbed on the mouey feels like this, then I can only imagine how much deeper that anger and revulsion goes when one is raped. Sexual violence against women, or men, is never ever ok. Ever. And the pathetic men that do it? Alpha males? Bollocks. All the great men I’ve known and met throughout my life – who actually are alpha males – never feel so inadequate they feel the need to dominate women in anyway – especially sexually. I thought 25 Characteristics of an Alpha Male is more of an indication of what one actually is. Point 25 was the best point…. 25. The alpha male doesn’t try to be an alpha male. That’s where so many fail. He is interested in life, in living. He’s fascinated by the world around him, in becoming the best man he can possibly become. He genuinely cares about people. That, to me, is what makes a man an alpha male. WiseGeek published this article, which I believe gets closer to the truth of the heritage of the term, because it’s not just applied to humans, but to animals as well. Because those other men – the weak cretins who think dominating anyone is what it means to be a man? They’re not alpha males. They’d struggle to be considered a beta male! Because the vast majority of humanity has evolved beyond those animalistic traits, and unfortunately, we still have a large percentage of men around the world who haven’t moved forward with us. Those particular men, though, should never, ever be given a place of authority, especially not as President of the United States. A man who seeks to dominate, sexually harass women, encourage hatred of others, or create division in society… That’s not a man. They’re not even as good as the animals. They’re just carrying

We’ve just returned from a 10 day mad-dash around Victoria, Australia to celebrate my mum’s 70th birthday. It was great to visit, although I moaned like a bitch about the cold! It was also the first time my three siblings, our four lucky spouses, and all of our nieces and nephews have been in the same place since 2008. Definitely long overdue. Happy birthday girl Anyhoo, we gave mum 70 presents to open on her birthday, and that certainly kept her quiet for the first hour J. But seriously, none of us have seen her laugh like that in years, decades even. Phillipa (my sister) can take the credit for that, as she donated a nice black lacey thong to the present stack. It was nice to see mum laugh. For those who don’t know my mum or haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Kathryn, my mother is a rather interesting lady. As a mother/daughter duo, we’ve never seen eye-to-eye on pretty much anything, however despite that, my mum gave me some great gifts growing up and I want to acknowledge that in honour of her 70thyear. But equally, now that I am a parent, I definitely believe there are things you learn despite your parents, as well as learning from them by the way they act or when they express their own truth. It’s a rather interesting thing this parenting malarkey. So here’s an example of a moment that had a profound impact on me. When I was a wee lass, I went with mum to the bank, and while I can’t remember exactly how old I was, I do remember not being tall enough to see above the counter. My mum was applying for a loan and when all of the paperwork was done, the lady serving us asked the bank manager to come over and check all was in order. Apparently it was and the bank manager declared that the next step required was for mum to get her husband’s approval on the loan and then it could be submitted. Now remembering this was the 70s, it wasn’t an unusual scenario, however I watched my mother rise up and declare: I am the primary breadwinner in my house, I earn the money, and I do not need any man’s approval to apply for a loan thank you very much. Definitely a #YouGoGirl moment! The poor bank manager visibly blanched and then accepted her loan application on the spot, no permission from a man needed. With the grand kids – crazy cats! That was one of many experiences I had with my mum, standing up for herself, standing up for women, and while I regularly want to tear my hair out in frustration at some of my mum’s ideas, I know that the strength I have as a woman, and the courage I have in the way I live my life, comes directly from her. My mum has guts. She never took any shit. And if you want to cross my mum… trust me, it won’t end up pretty for you. I’ve always felt very lucky that we were raised with opposite parenting – especially back in those days. My dad had a job when I was tiny, but then he became a full-time artist. This meant mum went off to work every day and dad was at home sorting out us kids – as he was a much better cook, this was welcome. Because he was at home, he was also the main parent at school activities and so forth. As role models, this was good for young me. In fact, I didn’t know any different. I can certainly say I appreciate it today and am thankful Steve has no issue having a feisty, ambitious woman around the house. It’s normal right? We were never wealthy financiallyas kids, but you know what, we had gifts aplenty in our home – from being introduced to amazing books to read from a young age, curiosity about the world, music, sport, and so much more. I definitely look back on my early years with a smile on my face. I don’t acknowledge the role my mum had on my life often enough, but now that she has a new birthday iPad and can access Facebook, perhaps she can read this and know that I really reallyappreciated being raised by a strong woman to be a strong woman who takes no shit. Thanks mum and I hope you loved your 70th. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea BTW I’m on Twitter here, Google+ here, Instagram here, and Facebook too, if you’re interested in the other stuff I share. Feel free to share my blog if you think anyone you know will be interested or entertained. I sure do appreciate it when you do xxxxx