June 2013

My Little Angels… I was having a chat with a fellow Mum of similar aged boys and she’s having a bit of a rough time managing her little warriors. Let’s just say I could definitely relate and I explained my philosophy of child rearing as being quite simple: I let them win some battles but I win the war. She liked that. While this might not seem a particularly positive or enlightening philosophy on parenting, let me explain. The idea is they get to “win” on occasion, which I believe empowers them and gives them a good sense of self. The stuff they win is harmless, and while I’d prefer they didn’t do or say (or eat) some things, if I was banging on all the time, they’d never listen to me. So my battles have to be over the important stuff and my goal, of course, is to win the war. A final victory can be declared when they go out into the world, independent young men, who are hopefully kind, generous and funny, with core values that will serve them well. The challenge is – shit they can push you over the edge. I have noticed a cyclical aspect to parenting –stages I suppose – where both of them go through a few weeks of being the biggest, rudest, pains in my arse the world has ever seen. Of course they know what riles me – they’re smart little dudes – but the difficulty for this Mumma is I had two boys 15 months apart, which of course means they do everything together – including being turds. And they’re in go-hard-mode at the moment – which my husband suffers equally – so by the end of the weekend, we sit there exhausted, wrung out, exasperated, perplexed and confused, looking forward to getting back to work on Monday morning – because it’s easier. Of course I completely understand what they are doing. They are stretching boundaries, trying to find out what is acceptable, pushing us to see how far we’ll go and in the mix of it, they are working out who they are and where they fit in the world. Having watched other parents in-action, I know my boys are on the extreme end of the pushing spectrum, but I like that. They’re strong characters with big personalities, and it’s going to serve them very well in life. But they need to know the rules. What’s acceptable, what’s not, and that’s all I’m trying to do – give them the right guidance and structure to help them become the best version of themselves they can be. That’s it, that’s what I see as my Mum job. Unfortunately, there are no guidebooks for this stuff and no one ever told me it was going to be so hard, which means sometimes I’m left wondering when – exactly – is this going to be fun? Bloody kids, I adore the hell out of them, but why did I have them again? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

That’s the CBD this morning Steve and I have been in agreement for some time that if the opportunity comes up (and the boys are old enough to cope) we take the chance and live in India for a couple of years. We reckon it would be AMAZING, and while a lot of that amazing would be amazingly tough, it’d definitely be an experience – and that’s what life is all about we reckon. But this week’s pollution in Singapore is making me wonder if I want to do that? In 1995, I backpacked for a month across China – heading up from Hong Kong into Canton (now Guangzhou), Shao Shan (Mao Zedong’s birthplace – which was horrible back then), Xi’an, Beijing, Shanghai and then a “cruise” back to Hong Kong – another story. It wasn’t too bad on the pollution front back then, but when I returned to Beijing in 2006 for work, it was shocking. I spent every minute of that trip with poison dripping down the back of my throat, and couldn’t wait to get the hell out. I love Beijing, but the poison in the air is very very disturbing. It isn’t nice knowing that millions of people have to live this way around the world. Right now in Singapore, the pollution measurement is much worse than Beijing is experiencing today and last night, I went to bed tasting poison dripping down my throat as I tried to sleep. As a parent, it’s not a nice experience watching my boys going through this – because I just don’t know what the impact will be. I’m trying to be all cool about it, but it ain’t terrific. In fact, many families are booking flights and getting the hell out of town until it’s over. We can’t do that right now, but it certainly has merit. My office is straight ahead – see the trees on the balcony?  The reality is we’re all OK, but some friends are having a very tough time. One great family we know has a three year old daughter with severe asthma – so far so good, but not a great environment for their little princess. Then some other awesome friends have their elderly mother in town visiting from India. She’s a magnificent lady, but right now, she’s coughing non-stop and I have everything crossed she’s going to be OK. She’s a beauty. For me it’s the unknown. I’ve never been through anything like this before and no one seems to know how long it’s going to go on for or what “hazardous” really means. The PSI measurement in the last three days has broken records and then broken records again. One friend’s daughter said if it hits 400 we’re all dead. Well it hit 371 today – WAY ABOVE previous haze records, so it’s not nice, not nice at all. However, I was just speaking with a colleague from India and he said don’t worry – “in India we dance in the streets all night during Diwali and the PSI is more than 500.” So maybe it’s nothing to worry about at all? Just a period of time to get through? I don’t know, but we’ll keep going, living through the haze and in many ways, it seems life continues as normal around me – which is actually helping. In the meantime, I’ll keep watching the news, listening out for PSI alerts and making sure the boys stay inside as much as possible. There doesn’t seem a whole lot else we can do right now… But living in India, a country of major cities that suffer intense pollution for at least four months of the year over summer – maybe I don’t want to do that after all? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea 

If you have friends or loved ones living in Singapore or Malaysia you may have noticed a fair bit of bitching going on about the “haze” these past few days. We’ve had two bad days, and while it’s “better” today, yesterday it got worse, and worse and worse – as you’ll see in the photo montage. Apparently the PSI hit 152 last night, the worst since 1997 when it peaked at 226. If you ask me what PSI is, you can educate yourself at this link, but my definition is it’s really smoky and it’s making my head ache, my eyes water and my teeth go fury – nice. A View of Marina Bay Sands from my office – the first picture is a beautiful clear day. The second picture is yesterday morning. The last picture yesterday afternoon. It got a lot worse last night… If I was deciding on a measurement criteria, I’d say it’s reached significantly unpleasant proportions and I’m sure asthmatics have been struggling for their lives these past two days. Interestingly, two friends – one from China and one from India – said what, this is actually a pretty good day at this time of year by my standards… context. My first haze experience in Singapore was in the 90s. It was my first trip through the Lion City and the orb – otherwise known as the sun – was straining through the smoky clouds. It wasn’t pleasant. I figured Singapore was always like that, so was rather pleased to discover it wasn’t the case. I’ve had a decade of haze experience since, and the only time it really bothered me was in 2006 when it hit days before Lex was due to be born. It was a rather unsettling experience for this new mumma about to bring a brand new life into the world! Obviously all was good in the end, or maybe it wasn’t, and that’s why he’s such a frantic bloody shit today? Who knows. So why does the haze happen? In the state of Sumatra in Indonesia and Kalimantan (check your world maps) they burn forests to clear the land. Many of these fires are illegal and done with absolutely no regard for nature or wild life. Next time you see an Orangutan at the zoo and read about the fact they are endangered, this is a big part of it – grrrrrr. Here’s a slightly more academic point of view and here’s a well-researched perspective. If you’re interested, the next time you eat fish & chips, or wash your hair, or your dishes, or lots of other necessary tasks, you can thank the dudes for starting these fires as it’s all for palm oil production – that’s why the beautiful forests are cleared. As a gentle suggestion, perhaps try not to buy products that contain palm oil, then again, entire communities rely on this income… what to do? The reality is the problem is almost uncontrollable. It happens on a massive scale, in remote areas, there is a lot of corruption, poor communities rely on the money coming from the output, these areas are run by cowboys, and there has been no international will to create another way of living for these communities, as such, the rest of the world just sits back and ignores what is going on. I find it all a bit depressing to be honest because, bit by bit, the world is dying. Well maybe not. The world will come back into its glory once we poison it enough to kill humankind, so nature will be the ultimate winner in the end, right? We are stupid. People living in the areas impacted by the haze have VERY strong opinions on this topic – some more than others. Social media commentary has varied from the outraged all the way through to my mate Eugene (a very funny man) suggesting the Indonesians have decided to help out with the dengue epidemic by fogging the whole island. He gave me a giggle. What’s fogging I hear you ask? Yeah I didn’t know either before I lived here – but fogging is the mass eradication of mosquitoes, a feature of life in Singapore. When visiting, check look for the smoky clouds of insecticide juice engulfing apartment complexes. It seems to do the trick. In the meantime Indonesia – PLEASE PLEASE stop this habitat and wild life destruction, I beg you, I’m on my knees… and I don’t get on my knees very often. But you’re not going to read this, so while I wait for that ship to sail, I’ll stay on my knees and hope for a decent rainfall to wash it all away. Cough, cough. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea

It’s finally time to go home and see my three boys, after my longest trip away from them since they were both born – 11 days. In fact, it’s the longest away from my big boy too I think. But it’s the little boys that haven’t coped too well with Mum being away, and Steve’s had to deal with a whole host of emotions (and aggression) around that. Also Lex has now been waiting for five days to build a train track with me, believing every day I was coming home. No one else would do, only Mum. It’s heart wrenching stuff this motherhood malarkey, and for now, I need to keep these big trips to a minimum. It just doesn’t feel fair on them. My work adventures kicked off in New Orleans 11 days ago and the last time I was in this fantastic city was during Mardi Gras in the year 2000. It was phenomenal then, but this time I discovered that even without Mardi Gras, New Orleans is a phenomenal city. It draws you in, makes you smile and everyone has a superb time – all races and ages. You’ll never see a quirkier bunch of characters in your life and it’s all seriously fantastic. The squarest of square pants couldn’t resist the loving embrace of New Orleans. One of the American guys I was with said there are two rules in New Orleans: Have a lot of fun Don’t interfere with anyone else’s fun It is so true. A lot of booze is consumed and yet it never seems to get ugly. It gets messy for sure (you’ll notice that as you trip over the vomit in the wee hours of the morning), but never nasty – just great music, lots of booze, lots of characters. lots of harmless sleaze, and lots of fun. I’ve added some photos below if you’d like to get a sense of life in New Orleans, although this isn’t the work bit of my time there – just the fun bit. Promise me one thing – if you haven’t done it yet, make it a goal to go there at least once in your life? The next part of my trip to Seattle was completely different, back-to-back meetings with colleagues in HQ all day, every day. I’d leave early in the morning, coming home early evening and by that point be completely obliterated by all I’d learnt and shared. It was definitely inspiring, and equally fantastic to meet the global team I work with, but boy it was intense as well. During this time I also caught up with four old pals – all from different chapters in my life, and one thing really stood out. When you meet up with the great people you’ve met throughout your life and share memories of the times you’ve had together, it’s actually really beautiful when you both realize what you meant to each other at that time when you were connected day-to-day. Sometimes you don’t realize until after the fact how cool the friendships were. It was a nice addition to the week. Right time to fly my last leg home. My blogging has been impacted with all of this intensity and I miss it. I’m constantly jotting down blog thoughts, but just no time of late to write them up. I’m committed though, because it’s something I must do. Yours, without the bollocks Andrea I loved this girl Early afternoon preparations I just liked it Awesome band and I got to sing with them Bourbon Street comes alive On stage Our posh dinner Mumma was sorting out the white boys Party bus Who wouldn’t buy a camera from a vending machine? Hen’s Night and Hot Dog Bar on Bourbon No question where I am