Uncommon Courage

Part of my 50 Years #50 Wisdoms journey. Join me as I hurtle towards 50 on the 1st of January 2020. Way back in 2011 I wrote a blog – A recipe for love for those loosing heart. At the time it helped some friends going through a tough time on the love front, and hopefully today, it will help someone needing it today too. Of course, some people thought it was bollocks back then and may now, but you know what, each to their own. Love is hard and being single (when you don’t want to be) can be hard too. When you’re in between – and possibly still hurting from the last unsuccessful encounter – time can seem endless, with no love potential popping up. It can definitely be lonely too – although time alone is very good for you. I am delighted with the year’s I had on my own. It made me stronger in my convictions, stronger in myself, and it meant I was able to get to a place of not needing anyone. That’s a good place to get too – not needing. I was single for nine years before I met Steve. I just couldn’t find a fit, but equally, someone who was capable of loving all of me just didn’t show up. When you’ve got a big personality with big dreams, you need someone who can say: awesome. I want to join that journey with you. And in response, you want to join their journey too. Anyhoo, I wanted to update this blog and bring it into my 50 Years #50Wisdoms, because I absolutely and fundamentally believe this recipe to be true. I know we are all capable of attracting the person to us that loves us in all of our glory, but we must believe it is possible, and never stop believing it. Besides, as a recipe, it’s not hard to do… well it can be if you’ve been hurt a lot in the past. It can also be hard if you’re not one keen to enter into a little mind fantasy. Back in time I never did the online dating thing. I just couldn’t believe I’d ever find anyone who’d suit me. I mean how would I even advertisemyself and if I was completely honest, would anyone worthwhile ever respond? I’m not against online dating, I just knew it wasn’t for me. Then again, this was the days pre-Tinder… Who knows how I’d feel about it now? Besides, some great friends have found love this way. I’ll never dish it. I was single from 24 to 33. During that time, I had a lot of fun. I travelled the world, lived in five different countries, loved my work, and met fabulous people everywhere I went. With all that said, the whole time I was forever hopeful that ,one day, I would meet my true love. Yes, I’m essentially a romantic at heart, BUT life is a hell of a lot better when you’ve got someone to share it all with!! They just had to be the RIGHT one. Nine years later I found him. At the grand old age of 33, here he was – the love of my life at long last – Steve. And while the years have been rocky, hard, stressful and pushed us both to our limits, we’re bound firmly together, and he continues to be everything I hoped for and a lot lot more. I truly do love him more and more every day. He’s a special one. He’s definitely my perfect match – pretty much a male version of me (as I am a female version of him) and when we met and fell in love, I realised the idea that opposites attract could be bullshit – at least for us. It was our similarities that really bound us together and continue to keep us strong – especially when it comes to our core values, morals and the importance we place on giving and keeping our word. Boy that matters to us. The boys are learning it too. Dawn the morning after our wedding… oh dear An epiphany on attracting your true love When I introduced Steve to my mates, many of them said he’s exactly what you said you always wanted. One gorgeous friend said it’s amazing, he is exactly what you’ve talked about for all these years, and you’ve found him. This lady also said she’d spent her time thinking about what she didn’t want and, guess what? She always attracted that type of person – dickheads. So it got me thinking back then, was it my focus on what I wanted that helped find him? At this time, the Law of Attraction, manifesting your life, and all of that stuff was ricocheting around the world, and I realised it could be true – maybe I was a living embodiment of it? During my single years, I never stopped thinking about the man I wanted in my life, and all through that lean times, those thoughts were always foremost in my mind. I never spent anytime thinking about what I didn’t want, mainly because I hadn’t spent anytime with dickheads anyway (I have excellent taste) but I absolutely believed that one day, he’d walk through my door. I believed it so deeply, it kept me going through all of the dodgy people streaming by. And there were so so many of them… And that is what I’m sharing here. It is the focus on what you want in your life that will result in getting what you want. I do believe it worked for me in regard to love (but for many other areas of my life too) so be patient with me here, because if it helps one person, that would be awesome. My recipe for finding true love is simple Focus on what you want – all aspects – and keep this in your mind and heart every time you