June 26, 2012

Last year I started a series of blogs on the lessons I’ve learnt as a parent, and while my output has not been prolific on this topic, by the time my “job” of mother is done, I’m sure it’ll be in the thousands.  With my role of “mummy” changing and evolving as my little loves grow, one of the best lessons I’ve learnt is number four – define tactics and strategies to help when feeling bored-out-of-my-brain-please-kill-me-I’d-rather-put-hot-needles-in-my-eyes-no-not-again-get-down-NOW-stop-danger-come-here-do-you-want-to-go-on-the-thinking-chair-why-exactly-did-I-become-a-mum-?-ahhhhhhhhhh. It’s a whole other kind of boring and you are required to do one thing – HANG AROUND A LOT. I am not, and never have been, a hang arounderer… As an example of the sort of activities I’m talking about and my ideas for keeping boredom at bay, here’s a few: Hanging out in indoor kiddie playground due to rain or intense heat? Take laptops, a notepad for ideas, a great book, or run around like a bloody idiot and make them laugh – especially effective after consuming copious cups of crap coffee Kids desire to eat rocks or drink fetid still water? No problem, turn around and enjoy the scenery – it’s a beautiful world we live in huh? Hey it’s even a chance to become a bird watcher if you’re so inclined, a bit like Bill Oddie perhaps? Kids want to scale high mountains and swing from death defying heights? Well pain is the best teacher after all, but best to be in a position to catch them if needed, in the meantime, go inside head to try and solve the problems of the world Kids a pain in the arse to dress, brush teeth, etc.? Move countries to a place where you can get full-time live-in home-help and outsource the bits of parenting you don’t enjoy, meanwhile you will have additional time to stuff around on Pinterest There are a few examples of how I’ve approached things – just to give you a flavour. However we have a brand new contender in the mix – YouTube. I’m not all that keen on the boys playing with computers to be honest – their time will come – but when out on adventures and an exciting discovery is made – say a bug, spider or animal – I thought it would be cool to show them mini-videos of these things. It worked a treat and they became hooked. In the early days it was entertaining and interesting for all of us, but we had a few mishaps, including the dinosaur video we found that ended with the man being ripped apart – ooops. However, the content of YouTube sessions has evolved and it is now solely focused on the passions of the moment. That’s Lightening McQueen for Jax and Transformers for Lex. As a result, I think I’ve found the most boring bastard on YouTube – and that is Blucollection.  However, get a load of this – he gets in excess of four or five million hits on his videos – so he’s obviously doing something right? I am sure Blucollection “the person” is a lovely guy, although he does need to pay more attention to getting a regular manicure, and perhaps introduce a few inflections into his voice, but suffice to say, we are now an audience of his channel. The boys bloody LOVE him and sit there transfixed when we do “YouTube Time.” Without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to Blucollection To deal with the utter boredom Steve and I feel during this time – because we never watch a video once, oh no, it’s every day for weeks – we have adapted to our circumstances. I’d like to share with you a recent evening with the boys, demonstrating how Steve manages these moments. So can anyone else relate and if so, how do you deal with boring kiddie activities? Any suggestions you’d like to share? Yours, without the bollocks Andrea